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Original poster

MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

225 replies

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 09:18

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble Blush

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 08/01/2022 11:56

@LethargicActress

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.
This. My sister had exactly this happen.
Original poster
CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 11:56

not necessarily lying but she does realise she cant have anyone round now or go anywhere

It appears not. DH has explained this in 3 different calls to her last night and this morning. She keeps saying hmm mmm yes but he's not convinced she is listening.
She honestly is lovely but stubborn and will do as she pleases 😊

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 08/01/2022 11:57

So will she be out and about even though she is positive?

Butchyrestingface · 08/01/2022 11:57

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

Yes, caught what I thought was Covid back in February 2020. The back pain was very bad for 5 days and bronchitis kicked off out of nowhere, but I never felt remotely in any danger.

My understanding is that asthma per se is not considered an increased risk factor.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/01/2022 11:58

My sister got married on Tuesday. She tested positive yesterday. But one other person who she was with has tested positive.

JugglingJanuary · 08/01/2022 11:59

@ZenNudist

You need to get a grip.
You need to stop being nasty!
grapewine · 08/01/2022 12:01

@LethargicActress

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.
This. He's being unreasonable for that. Take a breath.
Original poster
CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 12:02

So will she be out and about even though she is positive

Hopefully not. DH has been firm with her in the last phonecall and pointed out that she needs to think of others who she will come in to contact with. She has everything she needs plus we can get food delivered if needs be.

OP posts:
TeddySteady · 08/01/2022 12:05

I have asthma and I’ve just had covid. It was an upper airways infection for me, throat and nose, and didn’t trigger any wheezing at all. Normally a cold progresses to a cough and asthma wheezing for me, this didn’t.
You are triple boosted and you really are highly likely to be protected from severe illness. Hope you stay well and try not to worry!

crochetcrazy1978 · 08/01/2022 12:07

I have Covid at the min, day 8. I have bad asthma and I'm obese aged 43. It's just been like a bad cold and although I've been wheezy occasionally my peak flow hasn't dropped, oxygen sats are 97%. Have managed fine just used my ventolin slightly more. I'm also triple jabbed. Hope that helps your anxiety a bit. I've also been very anxious about getting it. In a weird way I'm kind of glad I've had it as it takes the fear out of it if that makes sense.

PrivateHall · 08/01/2022 12:17

@CrispyOnionsOnly

I know it seems pathetic to some that I am so anxious about this and until recently I never reacted this way. Even the several times I have been admitted to hospital due to sever asthma attacks I was never "health anxious".

Bluntness I am not a hypercondiac nor does my DH have anger issues but I appreciate your insight.

Not pathetic at all. Asthma is an unpredictable and scary disease and I don't think people understand unless they are living with it themselves. I had covid back at the start so no vaccines. I then had a BMI of 41 and my asthma was already going through a bad patch. I was pretty unwell and was hospitalised but at no point was I in danger of dying. I took all the vaccines and have lost a significant amount of weight (BMI now about 27) and got a lot fitter to prevent such serious illness again and now I am totally chilled about covid. All you can do is your best, keep taking your medications religiously etc and see what happens. We know omicron is likely to be mild and your vaccines will help Flowers
Dizzydream · 08/01/2022 12:28

I know how you feel I have health anxiety too it is awful but you have to think its not rational when your panicking im also more at risk so I really do get it but you need to stay calm thats the best way to handle it. Also she may not be lying I tested negative at 8am but was adamant I had it did another at 11.30am and I was positive

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 08/01/2022 12:33

It's wrong to assume she lied. We were with family on Tuesday. We all did LFTs before meeting up and they were all negative. Sadly the people we visited tested positive on Wednesday. I've done LFT tests since then and they have all been negative but that doesn't mean that my next test will be.

ivykaty44 · 08/01/2022 12:35

im asthmatic and dd has caught covid twice, this jan and last - I haven't caught it from her even living in the same household

she tested negative tea time one day and by the next morning knew she was feeling really unwell and tested positive.

keep door handles clean, keep toothbrushes apart and stay safe

Scbchl · 08/01/2022 12:36

My brother had covid last week, he has severe asthma, high blood pressure, in his 40s and likely overweight and he was fine.

Tulipomania · 08/01/2022 12:36

OP I completely understand your anxiety but I believe there is some evidence to suggest that if you regularly take a steroid inhaler, as I assume you must do for asthma, you have a higher level of protection against Covid.

I was told this by an asthmatic medical scientist, so I feel fairly confident about it.

Baxdream · 08/01/2022 12:38

@Tulipomania I regularly take steroid inhalers and am on day 10 of covid (still testing positive)

Tulipomania · 08/01/2022 12:40

Yes, I didn't mean to suggest that you couldn't catch it, more that you would not get it severely.

Sorry to hear you are still testing positive, hope you have not been too unwell with it?

SchrodingersUnicorn · 08/01/2022 12:40

Haven't rtft because the first two pages of people saying 'but asthma isn't a risk factor' was annoying and ill-informed.
Mild-moderate asthma is not a particular risk factor, due to the risk being effectively 'cancelled out' by inhaler use (although it can mean a more miserable 'mild' ie non hospitalised illness eg needing steroids or antibiotics).
Severe asthma very much is a risk factor and people with severe asthma were defined as CEV and on the shielding list for this reason. OP mentions severe asthma in the first post.
OP Flowers that must be so frustrating that someone you love who should love you seems to care so little for your vulnerable status. I would be raging.

Greatcheeser · 08/01/2022 12:41

If it helps to put your mind at rest I tested positive on Wednesday. I work closely with a colleague and have them a lift home on Tuesday evening. I didn’t sterilise the door handles and interior as I would have done pre omicron and height of delta. The colleague has tested negative every day since. No other colleagues in my office have reported symptoms or a positive test. I am isolating at home. I am not sneezing or coughing. I wash my hands regularly and have a routine of sterilising all surfaces and touch points. DP has tested negative every day.

Yes your mil’s behaviour is bad but in my limited experience omicron is not as transmissible as I had thought it was and it isn’t a given that you will catch it even if you have been in relatively close contact with an infected person.

Whitecushion · 08/01/2022 12:42

Whilst she obviously shouldn't go out when she is supposed to be in isolation, I think she sounds as though she has a fantastic attitude to life and one a lot of people could learn from !

IcedCoffeeMilkshake · 08/01/2022 12:42

An asthma attack is terrifying. I have been hospitalised several times over the years due to asthma attacks and the images from hospital of people being proned and on oxygen triggers an absolute terror response in me. So OP i think you are not being pathetic to be worried and concerned. I am heartened by some suggestion that people on regular steroids seem to do better thn expected with covid overall.

BungleandGeorge · 08/01/2022 12:45

Research has shown that asthmatics are less likely to get covid but if you did get it you may be at higher risk. However, you’ll be well protected by 3 vaccines.
It’s unclear whether you saw the MIL yesterday or just your husband? If it was just him you can considerably lower your risk by isolating from him in your home. Especially sleeping in different rooms.
She could well have been negative yesterday and positive today

CovidForChristmas · 08/01/2022 12:46

@LethargicActress

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.
This. Plus if you have DC in school your risk of exposure is probably higher than MiL’s even if you are being careful and she isn’t.
Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 12:46

Op, hypochondria and health anxiety are the same thing. You’ve stated repeatedly you have anxiety about your health, this is clinically hyphochondria. It’s not an insult?

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/health-anxiety/