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Original poster

MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

225 replies

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 09:18

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble Blush

OP posts:
SergeiL · 08/01/2022 10:22

And also the ‘it’s no worse than a cold’ crap. It’s no worse than a cold for some. Not so for others. We are all different.

FindingMeno · 08/01/2022 10:23

I am an older asthmatic, have had covid, and it was mild.

SilverGlassHare · 08/01/2022 10:23

A good friend with stage iv cancer caught it before Xmas and was fine, just a few days feeling feverish and unwell.

She might not be lying either - she could very well have done two lfts 12 hours apart and had the second come up positive - that happened with me when I had covid.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 10:24

@SergeiL

And also the ‘it’s no worse than a cold’ crap. It’s no worse than a cold for some. Not so for others. We are all different.
True, for a large amount there is no symptoms.
SeaToSki · 08/01/2022 10:24

If you want to take some steps towards managing your body’s ability to fight an infection (covid or anything else). Take 2000 iui of Vit D every day and then add a week of Zicam or high dos zinc

There are lots of studies that show significant benefit of steroid inhalers for covid.

Omicron is looking like it mostly invades the cells of the throat and upper airways and doesnt significantly invade the lung cells. This would likely mean that asthma would not trigger a worse outcome

KurtWilde · 08/01/2022 10:25

OP I understand you're worried, but you know yourself you're being irrational so please take a breath, have a cuppa and don't stress more than you need to.

It's anecdotal, but we all had covid last January, pre-vaccines, and my DS has chronic asthma and has been hospitalised with regular viruses before (needing oxygen and nebulisers), but with covid it was no more than a heavy cold and barely even bothered his asthma at all.

Your mil is likely more at risk due to her age, and I'm inclined to think she didn't lie about the original test as people are often testing negative one day and positive a couple of days later. At least she had the forethought to continue testing when the first was negative.

Thanks for you

AngelinaFibres · 08/01/2022 10:26

@hamstersarse

I can’t believe people are living with such irrational fear. Still.

The irony is is that your mil is more at risk, age is the single biggest risk factor yet not one iota of concern about her

My sister in law (53 very mild asthma, nothing else) has left the house only a handful of times in the last 2 years. Everything is delivered and left outside. If anyone goes in every door and window is wide open. Her health anxiety and that of my brother is through the roof. He is a psychologist.....hey ho
JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 08/01/2022 10:27

My brother has covid, he did a LFT in the morning clear, did one in the evening (to persuade DN to do one before going back to school the next day) and it was positive. So she may well have been negative in the morning, you shouldn't make assumptions.
DB is asthmatic and absolutely fine, he hasn't had his booster yet it was booked for the day after he tested positive and he's asthmatic.
My DC had it before Christmas I was sleeping in a bed with him laying on me to keep him propped up so he coughed less. I didn't get it and nor did DH. There's no need for such panic, you've done what's necessary to protect yourself, your DH should LFT daily and PCR if he feels unwell.

Tiredmum100 · 08/01/2022 10:28

I know your worried but it doesn't mean you're going to get it. Or if you do it may be mild. I am also CV and have had my 3 vaccinations. I am also a nurse and I have had no choice to but to put myself at risk on a daily basis by going to work. Honestly I would not overly worry.

Summersdreaming · 08/01/2022 10:29

@SergeiL

And also the ‘it’s no worse than a cold’ crap. It’s no worse than a cold for some. Not so for others. We are all different.
Have you had it? I've had delta and omicron, delta was much worse, and that was still similar to a cold. I also had an unknown virus inbetween covid in autumn that made me very poorly, I had to have a week off work, so I'm not someone who never gets ill. So why is it wrong for me to say omicron was very mild for me, and everyone I know?
Grida · 08/01/2022 10:31

At 70 your MIL is probably more vulnerable than you, which may be why she doesn’t worry about passing it on to you. She should respect your wishes though. Also, remember asthma doesn’t lower your immunity so the jabs should work for you.

NYnewstart · 08/01/2022 10:32

I’m assuming that op knows she wouldn’t have voluntarily taken another lateral flow on the Friday if she hadn’t been asked to by the op and her dh. Aka was lying.

Girlking · 08/01/2022 10:32

My son had a negative LFT on Thursday at 10.30am, he did another one at 2.30pm which was positive.
My other son and I have done tests every day since and are both testing negative (my other son is CEV as he’s recovering from cancer)
We live together and are in close contact.
My son who has covid is feeling under the weather and had a headache the first day and just feels generally unwell at the moment.
I don’t understand why you think your Mil is lying about first test because why would she then not lie about the second one?

Lilifer · 08/01/2022 10:33

@LethargicActress

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.
Yes I wondered that too 🤔
deplorabelle · 08/01/2022 10:33

I think you've done as much as you can to protect yourself so far. FWIW I'm asthmatic and shielded for those long eleven weeks at the start of the pandemic. I think I'm still on the CEV list though I think I'm in reality probably only CV like you. I am more concerned about my DH in fact, due to family history.

You've had some good advice and some quite poor advice too. Asthmatics are at a slight increased risk than the general population but only if the disease affects the lungs and then yes steroids are protective.

It sounds like your anxiety is a bit disproportionate. Would it help to focus on what you can rationally do to mitigate your risk?

  1. look after everyone's health. Are you all as vaccinated as allowed to be? Do you have rescue steroids and a spare inhaler in the house? Do you own a pulse oximeter you can use to monitor anyone who is ill?

  2. step up your prevention. Does everyone on the house use masks in indoor settings outside home? Are they FFP2 or higher? Please upgrade your masks if you can; it's the best thing you can do to protect yourself.

  3. improve the air flow in your home - open windows as much as you can and run extractor fans if you have them. You could consider keeping your distance from DH if you really think he has it. But if your MIL only turned positive the day after moving house (I believe her) he might well get away with it anyway.

notapizzaeater · 08/01/2022 10:37

The local theatre near me had the crew do tests before every performance. The lunchtime tests where clear so they performed the panto. The evening show - 5 tested positive so it got cancelled whilst people stood in the Q. So she may well have tested negative in the morning,

Baxdream · 08/01/2022 10:37

I've currently got covid and asthmatic. Despite my asthma being bad recently the covid hasn't effected my lungs at all. It's very strange! I feel rubbish but cold symptoms and run down, nothing to do with asthma/breathing etc. if anything my asthma is better!
I was worried too but am grateful it's not made my asthma worse

MissCrowley · 08/01/2022 10:38

Please get help for your health anxiety. I'm the same as you. I'm now signed up for anxiety management with a psychiatrist.
I'd posted a thread on here when I was frightened of catching it and there were a few people who said "get a grip"- not helpful btw, but there were some helpful comments and so I sought help.

When covid hit our house it was horrendous. I never caught it (nor did my DH) and my two children had it separately a month apart.
I ended up with a mental breakdown just before Christmas (a few other factors as well) but the fear and stress of covid certainly added to it.

TimeForTheChristmasTree · 08/01/2022 10:39

Best wishes OP, I hope you and DH remain negative Flowers

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 10:41

My husband has asthma following lung damage from pneumonia. He slept in bed with me for four nights before we knew I had it, he’s negative.

Asthma isn’t an increased risk , it was taken off rhe list a long time ago. And in fact asthmatics maybe more protected. The increased risk is actually the mother, as she’s approaching eighty years old. She’s the one thr pair of them should be worried about, not for themselves and being angry with her.

Hollywolly1 · 08/01/2022 10:41

Covid is different for everyone,no one can say they will be fine.
Your MIL is so unreasonable and extremely selfish to expect your husband to go help her because he will likely catch it and bring it home to you and your children

billy1966 · 08/01/2022 10:41

My friend caught it despite working from home and being super careful because her overweight husband is a severe asthmatic.

He caught it too but only felt fluey for a few days.

Being jabbed is key.

Try not to worry.Flowers

Lilifer · 08/01/2022 10:44

@Bagelsandbrie

I can understand your worry but life has to go on. It really does. I’m in the clinically extremely vulnerable group and have lupus, Addisons, asthma, a pituitary tumour and kidney disease. I’m on 22 different medications a day. I’m triple jabbed. My dh works in healthcare and I have two children, one of which has complex needs and one is at university clubbing her life away every night…! We’ve all got covid this week. It’s shit and I do feel pretty rough but no worse than normal flu. (Everyone else is either asymptomatic or mostly fine). I just want to crack on with life and consider it a blip. I genuinely think we are all bound to get it at some point. This new variant is the mildest yet and if you’ve been jabbed you’re mostly pretty sure to be fine.
⬆️ now there is someone with a great attitude. 🙌🏻
hamstersarse · 08/01/2022 10:44

@Hollywolly1

Covid is different for everyone,no one can say they will be fine. Your MIL is so unreasonable and extremely selfish to expect your husband to go help her because he will likely catch it and bring it home to you and your children
This trotted out line is so ridiculous,

Covid is very clearly a disease which impacts old people and those with comorbidities, it’s not a total gamble, there is clear data and you can quite feasibly calculate your risk, there are lots of risk calculators out there.

WonderfulYou · 08/01/2022 10:47

I would be fuming - if I could prove she lied.
Unfortunately she could have tested negative and then caught it just before she re-tested.

I cannot stand selfish people like her. But unfortunately you can catch it anywhere so I would try not to be too angry or worried about it.

You are going to catch it sooner or later.
But if you’ve had your vaccinations your symptoms will be a lot less severe.