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Original poster

MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

225 replies

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 09:18

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble Blush

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 08/01/2022 10:47

Why does she think it’s ok for your husband to still go round there if she’s positive??

Abracadabra12345 · 08/01/2022 10:48

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.

You've got to admit, for a lady of nearly 80, she sounds brave and living life to the full. Finally, she's caught Covid which isn't surprising as it's so prevalent. I hope she is okay and doesn't become too poorly, given that she has just moved house and will need lots of energy for that. And she's an elderly woman. She clearly has a good and positive outlook though.

OP, my DH is severely immuno-suppressed and has Covid - he only discovered this because he took an LFT before going to a social group where he is a helper the following day. He would never have known because he's asymptomatic. Of course he didn't go to the group and is self-isolating and very fed up but none of us have caught it from him.

I don't think you can just assume your MIL lied, for reasons other pp have said

ThorsLeftNut · 08/01/2022 10:48

My husband has asthma and he was fine. My MIL also has very bad asthma (regular visits to hospital, doesn’t take much to make her seriously unwell) and she had it back in June and she was fine too.
If your asthma is managed and controlled I don’t think they have huge concerns over it.

Livelovebehappy · 08/01/2022 10:48

Cant see she did anything wrong as she said she tested positive on Friday, so was honest. It’s only you and your DH assuming she had lied on Thursday.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 10:49

@Hollywolly1

Covid is different for everyone,no one can say they will be fine. Your MIL is so unreasonable and extremely selfish to expect your husband to go help her because he will likely catch it and bring it home to you and your children
They pretty much can. The fatality rate is supposed to be a max of 0.0025, so if triple vaxxed, below 70 and not extremely vulnerable Ie cancer, kidney failure etc, then your chances of being fine is in the region of 99.999999 percent.
MiniatureHotdog · 08/01/2022 10:49

And yes why no concern for the elderly MIL who now has Covid. She’s far more at risk than you. (Unless there’s more to your CV status than asthma.)

This. I didn't think asthma alone makes someone CV?

ElBandito · 08/01/2022 10:50

Your MIL was wrong not to obey lock down rules, especially before vaccines were available.
She was right to go on holiday etc when she was allowed to.
She might not have been positive for the earlier test, BUT her own son thinks she lied, I'd guess he knows her best.
She is wrong to want her son to go round now she is positive.
You will probably be fine if you do get Covid as your are fully vaccinated.

countrygirl99 · 08/01/2022 10:55

My dad is 94, has, amongst a host of other things, stage 4 heart failure, kidney failure and a history of TIAs. In the last 18 months he has had 4 hospital admissions for infections plus several for falls and 1 for a heart attack. His latest admission was for delirium due to a UTI. Turns out he also had covid. After 4 days he was fit to discharge, so no, your death is far from inevitable.
MIL is still a prat of the highest order though.

Aug12 · 08/01/2022 10:55

Hi there,

If your are jabbed then hopefully if you did catch it then it would be mild.

It is also possible that mother in law hasn’t lied. I took a lateral flow in the morning and it was negative and took another before bedtime and it was positive so it can change really quickly. So when she tested it might not have shown on Thursday.

NYnewstart · 08/01/2022 10:56

I still think she wouldn’t have voluntarily taken a test on the friday as well as the Thursday. That’s why they think she’s lying.

Lilifer · 08/01/2022 10:56

@Bluntness100

I actually think it’s so very sad that this is ripping some families apart, that a small minority of people are still living with such irrational fear it turns them abusive, because it is abusive to be fuming with this elderly lady and accuse her of being a liar. It’s awful. If anyone is at risk from this it’s the elderly mother and she’s being faced with this because of the op and her husbands mental health.
Yes very true
luckylavender · 08/01/2022 10:58

@ZenNudist

You need to get a grip.
That's a truly horrible comment. If you can't say something nice then best be quiet.
Original poster
CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 10:58

Blimey sorry I didn't expect so many responses!

I really do appreciate all the grips and I have chilled out a fair bit. A year ago I was a as worried as the next person but since losing my dad and exdh health scare I have become more anxious.

As far as MIL lying obviously DH knows her very well and apparently can tell when she's is not being truthfull.
I have said at this point it really doesn't matter and being angry won't change anything.

I really do appreciate the support. Thank you Smile

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 08/01/2022 11:00

Is your DH seeing her today?

Has she let the removal company know?

How is she feeling?

Phobiaphobic · 08/01/2022 11:00

I understand your anxieties but it's not going to be possible to avoid Covid for the rest of your life.

Staryflight445 · 08/01/2022 11:02

You don’t need to get a grip op. No one knows your medical history, people see asthma as not very serious because it’s so common.
Over 5M deaths worldwide you’re right to be cautious especially with healthy young people losing their lives.
The people who are saying their relatives had more wrong with them but we’re ok just have situation bias, imagine them saying that to the parent of a completely fit healthy person who lost their life to it.

Fingers crossed you don’t get it!

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 11:07

@CrispyOnionsOnly

Blimey sorry I didn't expect so many responses!

I really do appreciate all the grips and I have chilled out a fair bit. A year ago I was a as worried as the next person but since losing my dad and exdh health scare I have become more anxious.

As far as MIL lying obviously DH knows her very well and apparently can tell when she's is not being truthfull.
I have said at this point it really doesn't matter and being angry won't change anything.

I really do appreciate the support. Thank you Smile

Hmmm, so he spent all day with her yesterday and didn’t know she was lying, but one phone call and he did? That’s illogical. And in less than two hours since starting this, you’ve decided you’re no longer angry and not sitting thinking you’re going to die and about your poor children?

Ok.

Basket20 · 08/01/2022 11:15

You can't say for definite that she lied and I wouldn't accuse her. I was negative in the morning and positive in the afternoon as was my DH. Everyone will get Covid eventually. With the new variant and triple vaxxed you don't need to be unduly concerned. Please don't accuse/blame MIL

Flabbyflabberson · 08/01/2022 11:15

If OPs husband thinks his mum is lying there's probably a reason.

The OP says she has severe asthma. That has always been a concern. And asthma UK has been shouting at the top of their lungs about the fact that asthmatics are vulnerable. They were also only bumped off the priority group they were in due to being the least vulnerable of the other people on the list and they were running out of time. They needed to hit their promised targets to gain more support for the next election.

I have no clue why people think asthma doesn't make you CV. My husband is asthmatic and has gone to hospital with a regular cold several times. Why do you think covid would magically be better for him?

Also, the MIL knew she was putting herself at risk socialising. The OP thought she was safe because the MIL supposedly took a test. There's a big fucking difference and all my sympathy goes to the OP and none to the MIL frankly.

Smellycat290 · 08/01/2022 11:15

I am CEV and was double jabbed (I’m now quadruple jabbed!) but I still got Delta. I was sick - if I hadn’t been double jabbed then I would have definitely have been hospitalised. It wasn’t the worst ice ever felt but it was a close second!

On the plus side, having spent so long living in fear, the feeling of having had it and survived was so liberating! Knowing I was at much lower chance of getting it again made me feel so much more relaxed and calm (I suffer from anxiety too!). If you get it you’ll probably be fine and you’ll be bomb proof afterwards. Try not to worry if you can.
I can recommend ashwangara supplements to treat anxiety. Smile

StrifeOfBath · 08/01/2022 11:16

Good grief! I would be raging and spontaneous combustion would be more of a risk to me than COVID.

You have a right to be angry. She is incredibly stupid if she thinks it is OK for your DH to go once she has tested positive.

And if she was lying, that is unforgivable. However great or small the risk is, it is your decision whether to take that risk, not hers and she had no right to make the decision for you by lying.

However, all the latest indications are that the O variant is not a lung disease , so with your jabs, your age etc, the risk of dying is really not worth you worrying about.

Polkadotties · 08/01/2022 11:18

Omicron resides in the upper respiratory tract rather than in the lungs like the previous variants. Hence why people have more ‘cold like’ symptoms.

dworky · 08/01/2022 11:20

@Nidan2Sandan

I have asthma, was 40 and overweight and my covid at worst gave me a sore throat and made me sleep.

The likelihood is even if you caught it, you'd have nothing worse than a run of the mill cold.

The fact that it was mild in your case is no indication of how it will affect others. Why is this still so difficult to understand?
sofakingcool · 08/01/2022 11:22

Called reassurance @dworky Confused

Wreath21 · 08/01/2022 11:23

Please bear in mind, everyone, that a person can text negative one day and positive the next, so accusing them of lying and trying to kill you and WAAAA is unfair as well as silly.