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Original poster

MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

225 replies

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 09:18

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble Blush

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 08/01/2022 09:45

There has been studies that asmatics who are on steroid inhalers recover really well with covid. My DS has asthma and isn’t considered CV to covid. But I agree it’s wrong for your MIL to have lied about testing, but I’m sure she won’t be the only one.

MrsPussinBoots · 08/01/2022 09:48

So she says she had a negative test on Thursday but positive on Friday night? I had a negative test on Tuesday and positive on Wednesday. That's what happens when you test daily.

OddshoesOddsocks · 08/01/2022 09:48

I can completely understand your worry! Dh and I had Covid over new year, he is severely asthmatic so I was incredibly worried. I’ve spent much of lockdown with him doing out to work thinking ‘if he gets it he’s dead’

He was unable to have his poster due to having a cold on the day so only double jabbed.

But actually when it came down to it he was no worse than I was, if anything I think my chest was worse.
He was just incredibly tired with a headache and a couple of other symptoms, nothing disastrous!

I’d be incredibly cross with MIL!!

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 09:50

What health condition do you have which makes you vulnerable please?

They think it’s somewhere between a cold and flu and kills one in forty thousand, so depending on your underlying health condition is going to give the answer to your concern.

Past that, are you seeking help for your anxiety?

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 09:51

@MrsPussinBoots

So she says she had a negative test on Thursday but positive on Friday night? I had a negative test on Tuesday and positive on Wednesday. That's what happens when you test daily.
Exactly. There is nothing to say she’s lied at all.
LessTime · 08/01/2022 09:53

I don't get why you think she lied either

AssignedBlobbyAtBirth · 08/01/2022 09:53

I have asthma and my understanding is that it isn't considered a risk factor any more. In fact the thinking now is that if you use a steroid inhaler, and I'm assuming you do, this offers some protection if you do get covid

KiloWhat · 08/01/2022 09:53

It's entirely possible she didn't lie. But if I were DH I wouldn't go round either. Just because he's been exposed doesn't mean he should increase his viral load.

Bagelsandbrie · 08/01/2022 09:54

I can understand your worry but life has to go on. It really does. I’m in the clinically extremely vulnerable group and have lupus, Addisons, asthma, a pituitary tumour and kidney disease. I’m on 22 different medications a day. I’m triple jabbed. My dh works in healthcare and I have two children, one of which has complex needs and one is at university clubbing her life away every night…! We’ve all got covid this week. It’s shit and I do feel pretty rough but no worse than normal flu. (Everyone else is either asymptomatic or mostly fine). I just want to crack on with life and consider it a blip. I genuinely think we are all bound to get it at some point. This new variant is the mildest yet and if you’ve been jabbed you’re mostly pretty sure to be fine.

OliveTree75 · 08/01/2022 09:54

I also agree she may not have lied. Everybody that gets covid will be negative one day and positive the next.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 08/01/2022 09:55

I do think you are being a little irrational here. If you have dc at school they are far far far more likely to bring covid to your door than your mil. If you and dh work out the home it's likely you've been in prolonged contact with someone who has gone on to test positive the day after. You need to gain some perspective here.

Bagelsandbrie · 08/01/2022 09:55

Also - it took me 4 days to test positive on an lft despite the pcr I took on day 1 coming back positive yesterday so she may not be lying!

Potatodrivers · 08/01/2022 09:56

I'd of expected the concern to be about your elderly MIL.

As for the test, it seems fairly common to be negative one day and positive the next. So you don't know that she did lie. Why bother telling you at all when she still needed help if she was lying to begin with. It doesn't make sense. It would make more sense to wait until you were no longer helping her.

BluebellsGreenbells · 08/01/2022 09:59

DD tested negative 10am Saturday morning, went out and came home at 2 retested and was positive. In the space of 4 hours, so it’s possible she’s done two tests.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 10:00

Yes, I think I caught Covid New Year’s Eve or Day, in fact I must have, I’ve not seen folks since, I didn’t test positive till the fourth, despite daily tests.

I also don’t understand why the op and her husband think she’s a liar. And what is causing her to be vulnerable here will tell the op if this is a mental health problem, Ie anxiety/hypochondria or if she really is vulnerable Ie on Chemo, dialysis etc.

guiltynetter · 08/01/2022 10:01

You can't really be careful with covid. Unless you stayed in and never went anywhere ever again? As shown in a thread I've just read 1 in 3 are absolutely asymptomatic!

But on another note your Mil shouldn't have done that and it was mean and irresponsible.

Delatron · 08/01/2022 10:02

I don’t think asthma is considered a risk factor any more. In fact I’m sure I read something recently that asthmatics were having better outcomes? Maybe due to the inhalers.

My DM (71) currently has Covid and has not passed it on to my severely asthmatic DF (72). You’ll be fine. You’re going to get it at some point. If you have kids at school you’re more likely to get it from them.

You don’t know she lied. And good for her seeing friends and going on holiday throughout this. The judgement throughout this pandemic is awful.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 10:03

Also depending on your health condition that makes you vulnerable it really maybe should be your husband should be more worried about his elderly mother instead of calling her a liar.

Delatron · 08/01/2022 10:03

And yes why no concern for the elderly MIL who now has Covid. She’s far more at risk than you. (Unless there’s more to your CV status than asthma.)

Bagelsandbrie · 08/01/2022 10:04

Yes they’re now saying if you use inhalers for asthma you are more likely to recover more quickly and with less side effects. I think it’s because the inhalers help to keep your lungs open.

GiltEdges · 08/01/2022 10:04

@LethargicActress

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.
This. Huge overreaction IMO.
WiganDiva · 08/01/2022 10:04

Also not getting why you & DH have immediately leaped to the conclusion that she lied. Where’s the evidence for that?

Agree with the poster above that your anxiety is causing you more harm than Covid likely would.

Blubells · 08/01/2022 10:06

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.

I don't get why you think she lied?

She was honest about mentioning that she saw a covid positive friend, then told you her first test was negative. She then tested positive the following day and told your dh before him coming over?!

Where did she lie?

LadyCleathStuart · 08/01/2022 10:06

I don't see why you think she has lied and as far as I'm aware having asthma doesn't make you vulnerable to Covid (My DS is asthmatic).

It is cases like this that prove how damaging the messaging has been, and continues to be, around Covid. The vast majority of people who get it are fine.

RestingPandaFace · 08/01/2022 10:06

I have severe asthma (CEV) and caught it in August when double jabbed. I honestly wouldn’t have known I had it if I hadn’t tested. With hindsight I had been a little breathless for a few days but not enough for steroids etc.