I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting vaccine

[Newmumlake]

I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting the covid -19 vaccine. I feel like I’m putting my child’s health at risk for staying with him.
I love my partner very much although things haven’t been easy over the years. The vaccine has recently caused a big strain in the relationship.
I can’t understand why anyone would refuse without a genuine reason. My partner refuses to discuss his reasons with me apart from stating he doesn’t want to be tracked by Bill Gates. I answered that this is complete nonsense and that he is more likely to be tracked through a mobile device - which he obviously owns.
If it was just the two of us I think I would be turning a blind eye/burying my head in the sand but I can’t stop thinking about my son. Is he at risk? Am I failing to keep him safe?

MrsLCSofLichfield

I’m not your ‘darling’, and why? What on earth does my comment have to do with you?

Not having the vaccine wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if he at least had a logical reason.

he doesn’t want to be tracked by Bill Gates

But this statement alone would make me LTB.

@userperuser

MrsLCSofLichfield

I’m not your ‘darling’, and why? What on earth does my comment have to do with you?

You made a particularly nasty comment to the OP. Mrs LC called you out on it.

KeyLimePies

Really? do point this comment out?

Worse than being called actual names by other posters?

I would hope that a partner that made a thread about my personal choices for people to attack would leave me, if they are doing that behind my back, that’s nasty.

You can’t protect him from every illness but you can protect him from dangerous conspiracy theorists, this is probably just the tip of the warped iceberg.

@SpiceRat

You can’t protect him from every illness but you can protect him from dangerous conspiracy theorists, this is probably just the tip of the warped iceberg.

When the "dangerous conspiracy theorist" is his own father, no, you probably can't. All leaving would accomplish is making it harder for you to supervise their interactions.

Why do you assume he's not having having the vaccine due to 'Bill Gates and tracking"?

Could it be he's more worried about having a (possibly) unnecessary, experimental and novel medical intervention which can have serious adverse side effects and even deaths associated with it?

Have you looked at the yellow card scheme before you judge?

In the UK, over 1700 people have died shortly after vaccination and this figure is expected to be hugely underestimated.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-vaccine-adverse-reactions/coronavirus-vaccine-summary-of-yellow-card-reporting

Surely you'd respect him for making considered decisions and calculating risk based on facts.
Bill Gates tracking him isn’t a considered decision or calculated risk, it’s bat shit insanity and dangerous thinking! I would certainly want to protect my child against someone so utterly dense and unsafe.

I think Covid has sent people bonkers.
Indeed it has is you think “it’s got microchips in it, bill gates wants to track me” is researched risk calculation.

It’s always the most boring people in the world that think they’re being tracked too, the most exciting thing Dave is doing is scratching his sweaty ballsack in public and doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together but aye they want to track you

@userperuser

KeyLimePies

Really? do point this comment out?

Worse than being called actual names by other posters?

I would hope that a partner that made a thread about my personal choices for people to attack would leave me, if they are doing that behind my back, that’s nasty.

Aren’t most people who post for relationship advice on MN doing it behind the back of the person they are referring to? The OP isn’t being nasty, she’s concerned that her DP seems to believe that vaccines have chips in them.

I think you’re barking

@olivehater

I am all for vaccination but if the only reason if because you think your child is at more risk that is just silly. Myself and husband are double vaccinated and we managed to pass Covid on to the kids. Everyone I know is getting it, vaccinated or not. Him being vaccinated really only affects how ill he himself is going to get. Your child is likely to catch it one way or another eventually.

I agree. The Covid vaccine doesn’t prevent transmission or you catching the virus. Theoretically, it just reduces the chance of you being severely ill so it’s a good option for those with health issues. Also, is OP planning on never allowing her dc see his df again?

I think you need to get risk into perspective OP. I don't understand why you feel he poses more risk to your son than the numerous other children your child interacts with if they attend school, or the numerous other unvaccinated people you come into contact with on an average street or in an average shop every day.

I think your partner's view is very leftfield. However I think ending a relationship and breaking a family up because someone looked at all the information and came to a different decision than you is absolutely nuts.

In the UK, over 1700 people have died shortly after vaccination
Shortly after.. what does this even mean? You could have a heart attack shortly after any vaccine, it doesn’t mean the vaccine causes it. It literally states the below in the link you posted…

The majority of these reports were in elderly people or people with underlying illness. Usage of the vaccines has increased over the course of the campaigns and as such, so has reporting of fatal events with a temporal association with vaccination. However, this does not indicate a link between vaccination and the fatalities reported. Review of individual reports and patterns of reporting does not suggest the vaccines played a role in these deaths.

I wouldn’t leave my Dh if he refused it’s his body his choice. We have vulnerable dc too so I understand your concerns but you can’t just force medical choices on someone else using emotional blackmail threats to end the relationship

@Newmumlake

It’s a horrible situation to be in. Am I batshit mad or right to feel I need to keep my child as safe as possible

Does your child go to school? If so there is a strong likelihood they spend more time with unvaccinated people who mix with others than with your partner.

@SmallPrawnEnergy

That's not what I said and you know it, stop being inflammatory and trying to cause an argument.

You're misrepresenting what I said. I didn't say that in the context of the Bill Gates thing. The tracking thing is crazy but it's not crazy to question what's going on, question the news, question how data is being manipulated to suit the media.

It's also not crazy not to want an experimental vaccine based on the statistics and real facts that are out there - not, the Bill Gates thing.

What is crazy is to break up your family over someone not having a vaccine. A vaccine that doesn't even work in terms of passing it on to others anyway. The vaccinated OP could easily contract Covid and pass it on to her daughter. And even if she did, the daughter would more likely that not have either no or extremely mild symptoms.

If you love him and can see a future with him then stay together. If you don't love him anymore and can see a good future without him split up but make sure you consider your son in all this.

Presumably there are lots of other issues in your relationship apart from vaccination that make you feel it's not working. Maybe you should address those rather than blaming this one small issue.

Tbh covid aside, I'd be concerned that someone as dense/nutty enough to believe bill gates vaccine conspiracy nonsense could have an influence on my child as they grow up. I might have missed it but I'm unclear if this is your child's dad or not - but if it isn't his dad then I'd be getting rid for that reason alone.

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with a conspiracy theory type, it sounds exhausting.

@Shitapillar Children are not at risk from Covid unless they are clinically vulnerable

Tell that to my friend whose perfectly healthy, sporty, 14 year old DD was blue lighted to hospital last week with severe breathing difficulties from covid and is still in the hospital now.

Hate this 99% survivable spouting - you do realise 1% of the world's population is a pretty damn big number of people who you would happily see die?

Nobody ‘happily sees people die’ but we don’t tend to separate/divorce our spouses if they decide not to have a vaccine for a disease that is very low risk for the majority. People do seem to have gone a little bit mad over this particular virus.

Leave him for being a dick who is into stupid and harmful conspiracy theories, not for

I feel like I’m putting my child’s health at risk for staying with him.

1. he will still have access rights to his child
2. there has been a strategic decision to not vaccinate under 12s. That means there is a large unvaccinated population who will at some point be in close proximity to each other and will all get covid whether you like it or not. It is unavoidable. It will happen at some point.
3. Your baby remains incredibly low risk regardless.
4. Your partner is more at risk from your son than the other way around.

Also, in the nicest possible way, whilst your partner is going to one extreme you are also going in the opposite direction in not keeping the risk of covid to your son in proportion to reality and being realistic about it.

What you are focussed on primarily is worrying in its own right. You should be more worried that your partner is vulnerable to extremism and is rife for being exploited / giving dangerous and inaccurate information to your son in future which then puts him at risk of god knows what. The fact your partner cant distinguish between fact and guff on the internet is the risk here. Not covid.

But - you also seem to be a little vulnerable to disinformation yourself, so keep that in mind if/when you challenge him because it won't help your position and having a future relationship with him either if you aren't being much more rational and are responding emotionally rather than logically.

Excellent reason to split up your family. Your children will be glad you've protected them from this dangerous individual.

No seriously - you sound like a paranoid nutcase.

I think you've both been sucked in by reading too much crap, and not doing enough independent research I.e. Looking beyond SM and MSM. You're both completely doolally. What the hell happened to common sense.

I don't think your son is at any extra risk because the vaccine doesn't alwsys stop people transmitting it. It stops them getting very unwell / hospitalised. You're being overly anxious I think.

I wouldn't leave someone you loved and had an otherwise good relationship with because of this, no way.

However, believing in conspiracy theories like that would put me off being with him for sure.

Bill Gates would be bored to death if he tracked my movements.