I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting vaccine

[Newmumlake]

I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting the covid -19 vaccine. I feel like I’m putting my child’s health at risk for staying with him.
I love my partner very much although things haven’t been easy over the years. The vaccine has recently caused a big strain in the relationship.
I can’t understand why anyone would refuse without a genuine reason. My partner refuses to discuss his reasons with me apart from stating he doesn’t want to be tracked by Bill Gates. I answered that this is complete nonsense and that he is more likely to be tracked through a mobile device - which he obviously owns.
If it was just the two of us I think I would be turning a blind eye/burying my head in the sand but I can’t stop thinking about my son. Is he at risk? Am I failing to keep him safe?

@bumbleymummy

Nobody ‘happily sees people die’ but we don’t tend to separate/divorce our spouses if they decide not to have a vaccine for a disease that is very low risk for the majority. People do seem to have gone a little bit mad over this particular virus.

It's not the vaccine. It's the reasoning behind not getting the vaccine - Bill Gates fgs. Are you deliberately ignoring that?

@Whyevencare

OP the infection rates right now are much higher in the double vaccinated than the unvaccinated so you're currently more likely to infect your child than your husband is.

Base rate fallacy.

Whyevencare Ahhhh, why are some posters like you still perpetuating this utter tripe.

It's been said before, the more people that are vaxxed the higher the percentage of people who die will have had both vaccines. 100% vaccinated = 100% of people who die.

How does your logic even work? It is perfectly clear that vaccinated people are less dangerous to the wider population than unvaccinated. They are less likely to get CV and less likely to be very ill from it, less likely to die from it and less likely to pass it on.

I would leave him for being a crackpot! Whether he’s been vaccinated is irrelevant. He’s obviously nuts.

Bit of a moot point unless you can find a way to legally stop your partner ever seeing his child again.

I think you probably need to work on your communication. I'd bet that most healthy relationships could tolerate an honest conversation about such a controversial topic. He needs to open up about his train of thought and you need to be willing to hear it; neither appear to be happening right now.

Oh and @Whyevencare - wow, just wow.

@knittingaddict the poster you are screaming about us talking about infection rates, not deaths.

And no, I’m not ignoring bill gates. Are you ignoring the ‘need to protect my child’ part?

I think you probably need to work on your communication. I'd bet that most healthy relationships could tolerate an honest conversation about such a controversial topic. He needs to open up about his train of thought and you need to be willing to hear it; neither appear to be happening right now.

Yes, to this.

[quote bumbleymummy]@knittingaddict the poster you are screaming about us talking about infection rates, not deaths.

And no, I’m not ignoring bill gates. Are you ignoring the ‘need to protect my child’ part?[/quote]
Still completely meaningless though. Some people who have been double vaxxed while get covid, but they not more likely to pass it on than an unvaccinated person. That is complete rubbish.

And who was screaming? No capital letter words in my post, just justified frustration.

Also the child will be a bit safer with both parents vaxxed, won't they?

@azimuth299

OP just think carefully about the risk-reward here.

If you leave him then your child will grow up significantly poorer (the money that previously supported one household will now have to support two). He will have to live between two households, so is likely to have a lot less stability. You will lose control entirely of his living situation while he's staying with his father - this includes who stays over, house rules etc. The pros are that he will spend slightly less time with one unvaccinated person, putting him slightly less at risk for a disease that is incredibly unlikely to harm him.

I mean if you don't love him anymore or he's horrible or something then it might be worth it, but from the outside it seems like a crazy course of action if your aim is to reduce harm to your child!

This

I wouldn;t be able to stay with someone whose intellect I did not respect. I might not leave right away and I am not saying you should, but it would definitely make me lose respect for him.

@knittingaddict

Whyevencare Ahhhh, why are some posters like you still perpetuating this utter tripe.

It's been said before, the more people that are vaxxed the higher the percentage of people who die will have had both vaccines. 100% vaccinated = 100% of people who die.

How does your logic even work? It is perfectly clear that vaccinated people are less dangerous to the wider population than unvaccinated. They are less likely to get CV and less likely to be very ill from it, less likely to die from it and less likely to pass it on.

No it isn't. It's not at all clear that they're significantly less likely to get it. In a recent prison outbreak, 90% of unvaccinated inmates became infected. But so did 70% of vaccinated inmates. (www.businessinsider.com/cdc-fully-vaccinated-unvaccinated-texas-prisoner-delta-covid-outbreak-19-2021-9) That's a pretty marginal difference.

What is clear is that infected vaccinated individuals are less likely to be symptomatic. That doesn't make them safer to be around, because it makes them less likely to know they have covid. That means they're less likely to get tested, less likely to take appropriate precautions, and less likely to limit contact with others. That was why asymptomatic spread was such a huge concern early on. I haven't seen a single study suggesting that a vaccinated person is less likely than an unvaccinated person to spread covid to someone else in a real-world setting.

It's not the vaccine. It's the reasoning behind not getting the vaccine - Bill Gates fgs. Are you deliberately ignoring that?

People are ignoring it because her stated reason was fear for her child's safety, not concern that her husband believed in a crazy conspiracy. If she were correct that he's risking their child's life by remaining unvaccinated, his reasons for that decision would do nothing to change the risk.

Here’s one; there are others. Google is your friend! www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1280583

[quote abricotine]Here’s one; there are others. Google is your friend! www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1280583[/quote]
Interesting. Thanks! But the article doesn't include a link to the study. If it's this one (www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.09.28.21264260v1), this bit somehow failed to make it into media reports:

Transmission reductions declined over time since second vaccination, for Delta reaching similar levels to unvaccinated individuals by 12 weeks
So, no difference in transmission 12+ weeks post-vaccination. And just from eyeballing the graphs, the difference didn't look huge before the 12-week mark, either. It was bigger for alpha than delta, but pretty underwhelming on that score either way.

The problem with this methodology is that people who choose to get vaccinated tend to behave differently than people who choose not to. Their close contacts also tend to behave differently - for example, they're more likely to be vaccinated themselves, or to wear masks. And for this sort of study, the vaccinated sample would be nearly 100% those who've freely chosen to be vaccinated, because there isn't time for job mandates to have had much of an effect on the data sample.

If you take someone who's deadset against vaccination and somehow force or ultimatum them into doing it, their other behaviors aren't going to change. They'll still be less likely to take other precautions. They'll still be more likely to have close contacts that aren't vaccinated. And they and their contacts will still be more likely to do things that risk exposure to covid. A comparison of the two groups that doesn't account for those differing behaviors isn't valid for drawing conclusions about what will happen if an unwilling person is coerced into getting vaccinated.

This narrative that transmissions will plummet if only everyone gets vaccinated is just a fantasy that isn't supported by science.

Can someone explain about this "Bill Gate tracking" thing?

I know I sound like way behind 🙈

Seems a bit extreme. Vaccination won't stop transmission your child could be at risk anywhere.
Maybe gos appointment to discuss your worries.

@sweetlilthing

Can someone explain about this "Bill Gate tracking" thing?

I know I sound like way behind 🙈

BG is putting microchips in vaccinations to track us all. It's a nonsensical conspiracy theory with too many holes to list.

@AutumnLeaves21

I’m 100% pro vaccine, double jabbed plus booster-but you are being unreasonable and hysterical. No you are not failing to keep your child safe I honestly can’t believe you would end the relationship with your child’s father over something so trivial. Absolutely batshit. Covid has sent people fucking bonkers.

Totally agree with this