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Original poster

I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting vaccine

171 replies

Newmumlake · 16/10/2021 19:54

I’m thinking of leaving my partner for not getting the covid -19 vaccine. I feel like I’m putting my child’s health at risk for staying with him.
I love my partner very much although things haven’t been easy over the years. The vaccine has recently caused a big strain in the relationship.
I can’t understand why anyone would refuse without a genuine reason. My partner refuses to discuss his reasons with me apart from stating he doesn’t want to be tracked by Bill Gates. I answered that this is complete nonsense and that he is more likely to be tracked through a mobile device - which he obviously owns.
If it was just the two of us I think I would be turning a blind eye/burying my head in the sand but I can’t stop thinking about my son. Is he at risk? Am I failing to keep him safe?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 16/10/2021 21:09

@RoseAndRose

He may not be an anti vaxxer. He may just be unsure about the covid one

I think you're being over generous here, as he's someone who is referencing Bill Gates

OP says he wont discuss the reasons why he does not want the vaccine.. and just mentions Bill Gates. That says to me that he does not want to discuss it full stop, and uses the Bill Gates thing to end the conversation.
Aderyn21 · 16/10/2021 21:12

It's experimental in that we are seeing some side effects that the developers didn't expect. Like disrupted menstrual cycles and myocarditis. No one was talking about this as a side effect to Pfizer when lots were refusing to have Astra Zeneca.
I do think it's okay to be a bit nervous about it - we all just have to assess our own risk and act accordingly.

amusedbush · 16/10/2021 21:15

@Aderyn21

It's experimental in that we are seeing some side effects that the developers didn't expect. Like disrupted menstrual cycles and myocarditis. No one was talking about this as a side effect to Pfizer when lots were refusing to have Astra Zeneca. I do think it's okay to be a bit nervous about it - we all just have to assess our own risk and act accordingly.
It’s one thing to say ‘I have a history of heart issues in my family, I’m a bit worried about the myocarditis risk’. It’s quite another to say ‘I’m not getting vaccinated because Bill Gates is implanting microchips in people’ Hmm
RolloTomassi · 16/10/2021 21:15

Accepting the vaccine is entirely his own choice and I'd suggest the one taking an extreme position on it is you. But you might as well do it. To even consider leaving your child's father over something so trivial, the relationship can't be right.

Aderyn21 · 16/10/2021 21:18

I think he's saying the Bill Gates thing to shut down the argument. If he was serious, surely he'd elaborate or try to talk the OP out of vaccination too. If he was serious, then I'd be concerned about his mental health, not thinking to leave him.

azimuth299 · 16/10/2021 21:34

Children aren't really at risk for Covid, and even if you left him he would still be entitled to see your child. I think you're massively overreacting.

MrsLCSofLichfield · 16/10/2021 21:44

Fuck all that conspiracy theory bollocks. Tell him you're leaving him for Bill Gates.

PurpleOkapi · 16/10/2021 21:44

@PurpleDaisies

Has it passed you all by that this vaccine does not stop you spreading this virus? It just (apparently) keeps you a little less at risk. I say this as someone who has had both.

Why do people not check this sort of thing before peddling nonsense?

These vaccines have been shown to reduce both your risk of catching and your risk of transmitting Covid. They reduce your risk of hospitalisation. They hugely reduce your risk of death.

They've been shown to reduce the risk of symptomatic covid. That's not what OP is concerned about. There's very little data on asymptomatic infection. Several population studies have show similar infection rates in vaccinated and unvaccinated populations within the same cluster. It's true that the vaccinated are less likely become symptomatic, become severely ill, or die, but it's not at all established that they're less likely to become infected. And even if they were, it's not established that this makes them less likely to infect others. Because they're more likely to be asymptomatic when infected, they're less likely to know they have covid, which means they're less likely to get tested or take precautions with others.
Confused10101 · 16/10/2021 22:11

@highstreetdiestreet experimental in the way that MRNA vaccines never used on humans

Finding issues with the vaccines which were previously unknown/unexpected at the scale it’s happened or happening

Not all the vaccines which are fished out have been approved

@Newmumlake

i don’t think he is a risk..he is at more risk from your child. Children seem to have a very mild case

It’s his body and therefore his choice. If he usually is a rationale person then maybe the ‘bill gates’ excuse is just to stop the conversation?

I’ve had my decide dose but to be honest I didn’t and still don’t want this in my body…I’m only 3 days in my second and i keep panicking about every ache and pain…

I’ve had all the other vaccines but this one I don’t trust.. and it being MRNA who knows what issues will crop up in a few years time?

azimuth299 · 16/10/2021 22:13

OP just think carefully about the risk-reward here.

If you leave him then your child will grow up significantly poorer (the money that previously supported one household will now have to support two). He will have to live between two households, so is likely to have a lot less stability. You will lose control entirely of his living situation while he's staying with his father - this includes who stays over, house rules etc. The pros are that he will spend slightly less time with one unvaccinated person, putting him slightly less at risk for a disease that is incredibly unlikely to harm him.

I mean if you don't love him anymore or he's horrible or something then it might be worth it, but from the outside it seems like a crazy course of action if your aim is to reduce harm to your child!

roses2 · 16/10/2021 22:16

@Shitapillar

You are being utterly ridiculous. You got an experimental vaccine for something that is 99% survivable. Children are not at risk from Covid unless they are clinically vulnerable. Are you going to stop your child interacting with anyone who hasn't been jabbed? One of you is the crackpot here and I'm not sure it's him.
This. What are you going to do now it's becoming more and more apparent that like the flu people need annual vaccines because the antibodies don't last more than 6 months? Threaten to leave unless they commit to getting it annually?
SprayedWithDettol · 16/10/2021 22:22

A vaccine can’t track him but his phone can. 🤣

Winceybincey · 16/10/2021 22:35

😂 you can’t be serious? Has covid really made people this crazy?! It’s a jab, it’s his own right to refuse it without being blackmailed into having it. He is not putting your child at risk. Covid rarely harms children and even if he had the vaccine, he can still catch covid and transmit it to your child. The vaccine only lessons the symptoms.

I really think you should have a long think about this before you do anything drastic. Uprooting your child’s world will affect your child far more than covid ever will.

Yahyahs22 · 16/10/2021 22:40

No I wouldn't leave him over that. Your sons life isn't at risk unless he's high risk. Its basically a cold to children who aren't vulnerable. My partner hasn't had it and has no plans of having it and I don't fear for my sons health in the slightest.

Timeisavirtue · 16/10/2021 22:40

I have no issues for those not wanting the vaccine, it’s your choice just as I wouldn’t want them taking away my choice, however the reasoning is ridiculous, getting tracked by bill gates? I can understand people not wanting it because of the testing time etc, but Being tracked is nuts!
If you feel deeply enough about it that you feel you need to leave him then do it. Me and DP have different political views. We agree to disagree and when he can’t let it go, I tell him to talk to his dad as they have similar view on stuff. We’ve been together 17 years and have got by just fine.

GreenLunchBox · 16/10/2021 22:41

@AutumnLeaves21

I’m 100% pro vaccine, double jabbed plus booster-but you are being unreasonable and hysterical. No you are not failing to keep your child safe Hmm I honestly can’t believe you would end the relationship with your child’s father over something so trivial. Absolutely batshit. Covid has sent people fucking bonkers.
This
lightand · 16/10/2021 22:45

What if your child ends up agreeing with your partner on the vaccine issue...?

DariaMorgendorffer · 16/10/2021 23:02

@Lbnc2021

I wouldn’t leave a partner for not getting a vaccine but I would leave them for believing all this bill gates tracking bullshit
This op. I get where you're coming from 100%.
saleorbouy · 16/10/2021 23:09

If he travels with you does it worry him that he is in danger of being tracked by Bill?

Blinky21 · 16/10/2021 23:13

I would leave him, for me having the same ethics and worldview as my partner is hugely important and I just don't respect anyone who doesn't get the vaccine to protect their loved ones and community. Plus he sounds like a crack pot

knittingaddict · 16/10/2021 23:14

@XenoBitch

I don't believe that anyone out there truly thinks that the vaccine is a way to be tracked by Bill Gates. You say yourself that your partner wont discuss why he wont have the vaccine. It might be that he is simply too anxious about it, and does not want to be harassed about. Using the Bill Gates myth may just be a way to get you to stop talking about it.
Really? I absolutely think there are people out there who belive this stuff. I couldn't be in a relationship with one either.
knittingaddict · 16/10/2021 23:16

Looks like this thread was a magnet for all the anti vaxx conspiracy theory types.

XenoBitch · 16/10/2021 23:18

@knittingaddict

Looks like this thread was a magnet for all the anti vaxx conspiracy theory types.
How so? I have not seen any anti-vaxx types on this thread at all
userperuser · 16/10/2021 23:20

If you were my partner OP I’d hope you would leave me.

knittingaddict · 16/10/2021 23:21

I recognise the names of some of the people on here. They are definitely anti vaxx. I'm surprised that you don't recognise them yourself.

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