I’m feeling absolute despair today

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So we had the news of the Oxford Vaccine and I thought, ‘great, normality can resume soon!’.

Then that joy is soon whipped away from us. We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change. We are told by Matt Wanksock that we can have normality by Easter, and now SAGE are saying it might not be til Summer and threatening a complete lockdown again.

Anytime there is a hint of positivity it is whipped away instantly again. This has happened SO many times I can’t keep up.

I hang on every press conference terrified about not being able to work and earn again (my husband is self employed). He’s the main breadwinner and we were screwed last time. I dread my children’s education and lives being fucked up even more. Their whole social lives has stopped, their hobbies and their fun. Anything fun in life has stopped. I am worried sick about schools closing again as my husband would need to stop work to support me with the kids on the days I work (I’m a teacher)

I honestly dread getting up in the morning as it’s just the same shit different day. I don’t want to go for another bastard walk, I don’t want a fucking zoom call. I just want our life back.

I have started to hate our house because I’m so sick of the sight of it.

I am sick of the whole bastard thing . I am already on antidepressants before anyone asks lol, but that’s not what this is about. Life has stopped. The joy has gone.

It won’t be forever, you need to hold on to that

Totally agree! Feel exactly the same!

We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change.

It’s not that.

We don’t know whether they do or not yet, we need people to be vaccinated and see. It’s very likely that they will but we just need to wait a bit.

I'm really sorry you're finding it so difficult. It has been a very tough year, and we aren't out of the woods yet, but things will get better in time. We just have to hang in there and focus on making the best of the things that we do still have - there is no point in focusing on what we have lost. This difficult time will pass.

I'm feeling similar today. Schools shut in my borough for 2 weeks at least but open in next door one, meaning closure will be less effective so likely will be longer. This seems never ending and our govt are so useless I don't trust them to manage it, they haven't exactly shown good ability so far. Life is just crap. Nearly a whole year has gone unlived, not to mention those who have lost jobs and the distruption to education. So jealous of family in Australia where life has returned to normal. Not saying I disagree with the measures at all, just so frustrated that the govt have fucked it up so much that we are living with more restrictions and no progress on the health front. And now this dosing thing with the vaccine scares me that they will fuck that up too.

I think most people have felt the same as you at some popular by during lockdown. I'm not even thinking anything will change until April. I still think it will be August before life will return to anything like normal.

I think they are just trying to really stress that the first wave of people getting vaccinated absolutely can't start ignoring restrictions. It's a danger they will, otherwise. We need people to hang on in there until a large percentage of people have been vaccinated. There is no way once that happens that life won't open up more - get 80% of us done and the virus will lose its sting and things will change. We live with flu and that kills thousands each winter and eventually it will be the same with Covid. Don't mistake them trying to get people to be cautious with the idea things will never get easier.

It is grim right now. I think it's about taking it a day at a time and remembering what life feels like outside a pandemic. We have spring around the corner - lambs and bluebells and leaves coming back on trees and it is more likely than not that life will get significantly better after then. We can mix more outside then if nothing else. There will definitely come a day when the pandemic is behind us and even if there's no guarantee of when that will be, it's worth hanging on for. Just do what you can to get through the days now. I think stepping away from the news helps a lot.

I can relate. Our lives were already limited because we have kids with disabilities so we couldn’t go to a lot of places and our one place of respite was school. Thankfully the youngest is going back as planned.

Things will get better. I know it’s a hard thing to hold onto but by spring things should hopefully be a bit better.

Yes. I feel the same today. I deep sadness/despair that I can't shake off.

It's hard to feel positive because I actually forsee things getting much worse. I think it will be a very long time before we get out of this now very sticky situation.

If the current Covid variant is so so contagious - as soon as lockdowns and Tiers end - we'll be back in again before we know it. I don't believe the vaccination is going to make a huge amount of difference either ...

Wont lie im with you i am sick to fuck worst year ever !!

I look after a child with severe learning needs and frankly it has turned
Mine and his life's upside down to the point that he will be moving on to specialised care in the next few weeks

I can sleep just feel shit i only
Hope by july
Things life will be a but better..

I feel the same, OP. It feels like we're being perpetually softened up for the next round of shit. Even with positive developments like the vaccines, there's no sense of optimism coming out of govt anymore, enough to make it feel like the end point is anywhere near.
I'm sure it'll end at some point but we're nearly a year into this and normality feels very far away

I don't believe the vaccination is going to make a huge amount of difference either ...

The people that are top of the vaccine priority list are the ones that are most likely to end up in hospital putting the nhs under massive pressure, or worse to die. Those people being at a hugely reduced risk of that happening will make a massive difference when the vaccine programme starts to be seriously rolled out.

I feel the same today OP. I dropped some shopping off at my mams and burst into tears at her front door. So fed up!

I feel that the emphasis is on this today, in the media because it’s New Year. We have just gone through the toughest time being apart from people socially and once this is over the doom-mongering will settle down a bit.

I'm taking some comfort from the fact that we are now past the shortest day. It feels harder in the winter, and the next couple of months will be challenging but then we'll be coming into Spring. It's one positive that I know will happen so I'm clinging on to it.

I feel the same. It's an endless trudge with any hope always being at least three months away, except that date never gets any nearer. I'm not sure I could do this beyond Easter.

Get off these boards & Stop watching every news conference. Panic is bred around here so step away and start practicing self care. Of course things will get better. Are we still suffering bubonic plague & Spanish flu? . We will undoubtedly have a couple of rough months.... presumably as a result of people mixing at Christmas and then things will improve.

I know. I have 2 children with complex needs and unless they are vacinated nothing will change for us any time soon. And we as carers are not scheduled to get the vacine until May or June apparently despite being sole carers for 2 kids that require round the clock care. We are exhausted after 10months caring 24 /7 and i cant see any end in sight as we can't risk sending the less vulnerable one to school in case he brings it home to the younger extremely vulnerable child or to us because if we get it who is going to care for them.
Like you I feel every bit of hope is quickly snatched away again.
Still one day at a time is all any of us can do so hang in there op x

I feel the same OP. I have found Christmas very hard and facing another god knows how ever many weeks of this shit show is depressing.

I don't bother watching the press conferences or anything anymore. I just wait for an email from the school to tell me they're closing.

I feel like giving up today. I'd start taking drugs again if I had a clue where to buy them from. Tis bollocks.

If you drill down through the stats it can feel less hopeless. 950 dead is awful. But if you drill down to local level it seems less overwhelming. For example, of those poor 950 souls from across the UK only 39 were below 60 in England, and in my large city my local 3 hospital trust only lost 1 person across the 3 local hospitals this week. Of course that is still awful for their family but switching 950 today to "1 in the last week locally" helps my sense of perspective.

I don’t have any words of wisdom but sympathise. I feel the same.
It feels like this will be forever as we just keep going round in circles because the government cannot get their act together. Lockdown, open up, infection rates and deaths rise, lockdown again, repeat to fade. Like you, I felt so happy about the vaccine but now I don’t have any faith in them rolling out the vaccination programme successfully and worry that there will never be an end to this.
If they locked down hard for longer amount of time, got the vaccination programme going and then opened up when we were in a stronger position I could handle it but this isn’t a life for anyone. I don’t go anywhere other than for a daily walk. I don’t see anyone and I feel like my life is on hold. It’s merely an existence.

I hope the messages from pps are making you feel a bit better OP. In the absolute worst case presumably there would be some degree of immunity from the sheer numbers of people getting it, but it seems very unlikely that the vaccine won't result in reduced transmission.

I know. This is going to go on for years. I want to see my family 😔

Things will get better OP, I know what you mean though. I’m fed up of the hocky cokey we seem to be in now but people are already tiring and won’t put up with it much longer and I think the government knows this