Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I’m feeling absolute despair today

215 replies

Redbrickwall · 31/12/2020 17:16

So we had the news of the Oxford Vaccine and I thought, ‘great, normality can resume soon!’.

Then that joy is soon whipped away from us. We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change. We are told by Matt Wanksock that we can have normality by Easter, and now SAGE are saying it might not be til Summer and threatening a complete lockdown again.

Anytime there is a hint of positivity it is whipped away instantly again. This has happened SO many times I can’t keep up.

I hang on every press conference terrified about not being able to work and earn again (my husband is self employed). He’s the main breadwinner and we were screwed last time. I dread my children’s education and lives being fucked up even more. Their whole social lives has stopped, their hobbies and their fun. Anything fun in life has stopped. I am worried sick about schools closing again as my husband would need to stop work to support me with the kids on the days I work (I’m a teacher)

I honestly dread getting up in the morning as it’s just the same shit different day. I don’t want to go for another bastard walk, I don’t want a fucking zoom call. I just want our life back.

I have started to hate our house because I’m so sick of the sight of it.

I am sick of the whole bastard thing Sad. I am already on antidepressants before anyone asks lol, but that’s not what this is about. Life has stopped. The joy has gone.

OP posts:
Shaniac · 31/12/2020 19:38

We can see the road from the woods now. But we still have to crouch and hide from the wolves until we can make a run for it.

HancocksSexTears · 31/12/2020 19:40

@PusheenLove

Are you an extrovert?

The vibe from these threads like this is borderline suicidal. I don't think people realise how lucky they are. That's the true tragedy.

It's not about being an extrovert, and you say that as it it's an affliction, people need people, not just three people, or one person, they need social interaction, passing comments, hugs and handshakes, bustling crowds and things to do and experience - we are not designed to be solitary creatures
Spiratedaway · 31/12/2020 19:41

Get drunk I am .... just to forget for a few hours

PusheenLove · 31/12/2020 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 19:41

Hit the nail on the head there! We aren't designed to be solitary creatures. I miss other adults so much and hugs and kisses

the80sweregreat · 31/12/2020 19:41

@Spiratedaway

Get drunk I am .... just to forget for a few hours
Yes. Ive opened the wine. The End of this year can't come fast enough
Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 19:43

Bet your not single are you pusheen I'm a single parent i find it hard not seeing my friends, i haven't seen my sister for a year as she doesn't live near me and it's disallowed. I have no partner and it's hard being alone 24/7 parenting dc

StillWeRise · 31/12/2020 19:43

@Avvii

Yup. I had a baby in January, and a fairly hairy birth. I told my husband yesterday I sometimes wish we had both just died then. Doctor says how I’m feeling isn’t a medical issue and there’s nothing they can do to help. I don’t know how much longer I can live this existence.
If you are feeling like this often (not just a passing OMG this is awful) please don't accept what your GP has told you. Speak to your health visitor or speak to a different GP. There are things that can help.
PusheenLove · 31/12/2020 19:48

HancocksSexTears (seriously good name) we do not need bustling crowds. Some people might like that experience but it is Not a requirement.

Unsure33 · 31/12/2020 19:48

@AgeLikeWine

The medical people explained quite clearly what affects the roll out of the vaccine at the conference .

It is down to supply of components and manufacture . Not space or personnel . The Government are not making the doses themselves .

TheSunIsStillShining · 31/12/2020 19:51

@PurpleDaisies

We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change.

It’s not that.

We don’t know whether they do or not yet, we need people to be vaccinated and see. It’s very likely that they will but we just need to wait a bit.

Sorry, but the truth is that it has not been tested in the trials and it has not magically popped up as a side-effect either. So scientists are saying with confidence that they don't think so.

There is a correlation between young ones getting flu vaccines and older people not getting flu that much. So there is a slight hope that by chance it will happen here as well, but I would not bet my life on it.

And also it is something that can't be really tested unless to directly and knowingly expose trial participants to the virus. Which would be highly unethical at this point.

HancocksSexTears · 31/12/2020 19:51

@PusheenLove

HancocksSexTears (seriously good name) we do not need bustling crowds. Some people might like that experience but it is Not a requirement.
No, but the same applies that some people do need it/like it - the op has very valid worries and feelings, for some people this way of living isn't working for them at all, in fact it's not just not working, it's damaging them, potentially forever.

Far worse than Covid could, as the brain is much harder to fix than body.

Unsure33 · 31/12/2020 19:52

I don’t feel as bad as some . But have lost my mojo. I have loads to do but no energy. No appetite and don’t feel like cooking or cleaning or ironing .

I miss family , and I am trying to move my mother into assisted living accommodation and covid is making it much more difficult than it should be . Everything is complicated.

Spiratedaway · 31/12/2020 19:53

@the80sweregreat I am drunk already won't help my anxiety with this shit but for a few hours we have been in tier 4 for nearly two weeks and miss my family desperately but our cases have gone down 200 per 100,000 which has not been reported by the media and we are doing the lateral tests which is why so high
#fuck2020 #fuckcovid bring on 2021 #vaccine Smile

RasherOfWind · 31/12/2020 19:53

Life will not return to the previous 'normal' we once knew. They aren't talking about the 'new normal' for no reason.

Sorry OP, but there's no point in sugar coating it. We had all better get used to it.

EugenesAxe · 31/12/2020 19:53

I guess it will come to - do you want freedom more than the possibility of you or your relatives not being treated in hospital?

It would be worse to have a free society and doctors having to play God with people's lives. Would they have a checklist? It would be totally dystopian.

They were talking about it on Radio 4 - you know, comparing COVID to the length of things like Spanish flu and the black death, which were both more than a year in duration. Maybe life will have to be a whole lot more cutthroat. I hope though that mass vaccinations will have a good effect. Yes there may still be transmissions, but if a lot of people can't pick it up, then outbreaks will fizzle out more quickly in areas and eventually we will be able to contain the virus.

PimlicoJo · 31/12/2020 19:54

I normally think healthy debate on threads is a good thing, but this is one of those threads where the OP is distressed and I think it's inappropriate to start pointing out how lucky we are or how much you're enjoying this situation. It's not the time or place. Just my view.

Spiratedaway · 31/12/2020 19:54

@RasherOfWind

Life will not return to the previous 'normal' we once knew. They aren't talking about the 'new normal' for no reason.

Sorry OP, but there's no point in sugar coating it. We had all better get used to it.

New normal is mass unemployment and mass mental health the rest of people will go back to normal please don't scaremonger
PusheenLove · 31/12/2020 20:00

@Wannabangbang

Bet your not single are you pusheen I'm a single parent i find it hard not seeing my friends, i haven't seen my sister for a year as she doesn't live near me and it's disallowed. I have no partner and it's hard being alone 24/7 parenting dc
No I'm not single. The only adult contact I have is DH.

But I don't think all the borderline suicidal people are single either. Rather, they are focusing on the negatives and on things they personally have no control over

HancocksSexTears · 31/12/2020 20:00

@PimlicoJo

I normally think healthy debate on threads is a good thing, but this is one of those threads where the OP is distressed and I think it's inappropriate to start pointing out how lucky we are or how much you're enjoying this situation. It's not the time or place. Just my view.
OP needs compassion and understanding
the80sweregreat · 31/12/2020 20:01

It's not quite the same , but I remember the 80s being bleak at times and things did look up eventually. My parents were teens during WW2 and felt the same too. They had to try and get on with it.
Things pass : the government haven't got a lot right but there are now two vaccines and even the experts are cautiously optimistic of a positive outcome. I know it feels thin today , but you have to look ahead.
Some people can still work and the economy will boom once we're let out.
I really hope so anyway. I think the young will go out a lot!
I know it's hard. I can sympathize but you have to be try to be a bit positive.

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 20:01

100%

YourNutsMeLord · 31/12/2020 20:02

Some people can still work and the economy will boom once we're let out.

Indeed - there is the theory that we will see the 'roaring twenties' once again. So there's that.

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2020 20:04

Sorry, but the truth is that it has not been tested in the trials and it has not magically popped up as a side-effect either. So scientists are saying with confidence that they don't think so.

This is wrong. Scientists are saying it’s too early to tell. You have to vaccinate a load of people and see. You cannot test for effects on transmission in the sorts of trials that were done. Most scientists I’ve seen talking about the vaccines so far havd said they think it’s likely they will reduce transmission but without the data that will come with time, you can’t say that yet.

Spiratedaway · 31/12/2020 20:05

@PimlicoJo

I normally think healthy debate on threads is a good thing, but this is one of those threads where the OP is distressed and I think it's inappropriate to start pointing out how lucky we are or how much you're enjoying this situation. It's not the time or place. Just my view.
💯 %