I’m feeling absolute despair today

[Redbrickwall]

So we had the news of the Oxford Vaccine and I thought, ‘great, normality can resume soon!’.

Then that joy is soon whipped away from us. We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change. We are told by Matt Wanksock that we can have normality by Easter, and now SAGE are saying it might not be til Summer and threatening a complete lockdown again.

Anytime there is a hint of positivity it is whipped away instantly again. This has happened SO many times I can’t keep up.

I hang on every press conference terrified about not being able to work and earn again (my husband is self employed). He’s the main breadwinner and we were screwed last time. I dread my children’s education and lives being fucked up even more. Their whole social lives has stopped, their hobbies and their fun. Anything fun in life has stopped. I am worried sick about schools closing again as my husband would need to stop work to support me with the kids on the days I work (I’m a teacher)

I honestly dread getting up in the morning as it’s just the same shit different day. I don’t want to go for another bastard walk, I don’t want a fucking zoom call. I just want our life back.

I have started to hate our house because I’m so sick of the sight of it.

I am sick of the whole bastard thing . I am already on antidepressants before anyone asks lol, but that’s not what this is about. Life has stopped. The joy has gone.

Time to roll out the tiny daily acts of self care OP:

• waken at early time same time each day
• hot shower new shower gel
• hot cuppa and light a candle
• book/hobby/craft for an hour?
• walk somewhere new
• plan interesting meals for the week
• plan new books to read/new games with kids/new simple things to distract from the current chaos on news etc

Restrict news etc to 10 mins a day really helps.

You have employment as a teacher you can't be sacked from right now. Lower your outgoings will make you feel more in control too as it's the feeling of no control which causes much of the despair panic feeling so get lying control of your days via a regular simple routine will really help

* getting control sorry, not 'get lying control' I mean

So scientists are saying with confidence that they don't think so.

This might help...

When questioned whether trials showed the vaccines could prevent transmission, Prof Van-Tam said this was still not yet known and that it would only become clear once "millions of people in the UK have taken up these vaccines" whether or not "they're not only stopping disease, they're stopping transmission".

Earlier on Wednesday, Prof Wei Shen Lim, who sits on the Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation told Sky News that "while we know that this vaccine [the Pfizer/BioNTech one] protects you from getting ill with Covid – we don’t yet know how much it stops you transmitting Covid until we roll it out broadly".

www.itv.com/news/2020-12-02/covid-vaccine-professor-jonathan-van-tam-addresses-jab-safety-concerns-of-itv-news-panel-in-q-and-a

Plenty of scientists have expressed optimism that the vaccines will likely reduce transmission but it’s just too early to know that yet.

@PurpleDaisies

We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change.

It’s not that.

We don’t know whether they do or not yet, we need people to be vaccinated and see. It’s very likely that they will but we just need to wait a bit.

This!!!!

I'm comparison to the general population even phase 3 trials are tiny and would be impossible to learn if the vaccines stop transmission.

We need to vaccinate and then we will be able to find out. Nobody has said it won't stop transmission... Many of them think it will but without the proof they won't go around telling everyone it stops transmission as then everyone will drop their guard!

I feel like this too, most of the time I am fine but then I have days like this where I am just so fed up.

What helps the most is stopping myself from thinking about the future or the big picture. I try to take each day at a time, breaking it down into even hourly chunks if I need to. I am accepting that life is bad right now and just getting through. Things will improve, everything passes with time.

It's the perfect life for a hermit, but it's not the perfect life for me

It's not so easy for introverts when they have to usually adapt to an extrovert's world. The tables have just turned for the moment.

@User158340

It's the perfect life for a hermit, but it's not the perfect life for me

It's not so easy for introverts when they have to usually adapt to an extrovert's world. The tables have just turned for the moment.

That's nonsense, I'm a natural introvert, and warm slowly to people, but I'm certainly not enjoying this enforced isolation one bit. It's possible to be an introvert and not a bloody hermit!!

Definitely Hancock I'm the same!

Totally agree @HancocksSexTears

Obviously no introverts have jobs in difficult workplaces or are might lose their jobs, or who have vulnerable loved ones, or who enjoy doing sports that have stopped, or who are desperately lonely from being on their own so much etc etc.

It’s far too simplistic to say this is great for introverts.

I am an introvert- finding it very hard to have family ( who I love dearly) with me constantly.
I normally work from home anyway, and my family busy at work/uni/activities, so I am used to having lots of alone time.
For months now I have had almost zero alone time at home.

It isn't easy.

@Spiratedaway: "New normal is mass unemployment and mass mental health the rest of people will go back to normal please don't scaremonger".

Clearly, mass unemployment and mass mental health (??) is not 'normal'; it has to be a 'new normal'.

It's therefore, by your own admission, not 'scaremongering', it is simply what we must all get used to.

@louisejxxx

I think it’s very potent today with a lot people because I think we all thought we were heading into 2021 feeling hopeful - over the last few days it’s become apparent that just isn’t going to be the case, at least for the first few months of the year.

There is hope for 2021, but we have always been told winter is likely to be very bad first.

[quote RasherOfWind]@Spiratedaway: "New normal is mass unemployment and mass mental health the rest of people will go back to normal please don't scaremonger".

Clearly, mass unemployment and mass mental health (??) is not 'normal'; it has to be a 'new normal'.

It's therefore, by your own admission, not 'scaremongering', it is simply what we must all get used to.[/quote]
No you are right it isn't and I am actually more scared of the economy and mental health I had a breakdown last year so it is scary

I think there have been periods of mass unemployment in the recent past. 3m in the 80’s.

@PurpleDaisies
We basically agree, but have a different way of phrasing it based on our cynical/more hopeful world views.
Bottom line is: nobody knows. So banking on it in any way or form is stupid.
I'm a quite rational person, so my take is that let's assume no, make primary plans for that and the backup plans for if it's yes.
:)

Same here starting to feel very alone now . Not seeing my family is awful and then yesterday I had a car crash driving to work. The poor guy swapping insurance details with me was in total shock as I just started crying hysterically. Just feel like I’m losing my sanity . Trying to be strong but the longer this goes on I’m not sure how tough I am 😩

That’s a heck of a positive spin you’ve put on your earlier post there @TheSunIsStillShining. You were saying scientists were confidently saying that the vaccines did not prevent transmission. That’s totally different from not assuming covid vaccines will achieve that because the evidence isn’t there to support it yet.

Opp I believe by March April things will be a lot better. Just a few more weeks.

@PurpleDaisies

That’s a heck of a positive spin you’ve put on your earlier post there *@TheSunIsStillShining*. You were saying scientists were confidently saying that the vaccines did not prevent transmission. That’s totally different from not assuming covid vaccines will achieve that because the evidence isn’t there to support it yet.

1. I said -as that's what I read- that they don't think so.
2. Never said they think it did not prevent transmission.

I agree, very small difference, but it's the small difference that makes us interpret it totally differently.

No2 statement would mean that they have tested for it and found data that it doesn't prevent transmission. I did say that it has not been tested as it would be unethical to test it.

Sorry, not nitpicking, just really don't like it when what I say is misinterpreted, even if totally not done on purpose.

Another thing I mentioned in that post is that they hope that like the flu vaccine, this will have a transmission reducing effect. hoping being the key word.

All I’d say is once the key vulnerable people have been vaccinated, the risk will be less and I suspect certain restrictions will be lifted as NHS capacity improves.

Life is hard at the moment but I’ve really enjoyed spending time with my immediate family.

Regarding clubs and activities- cycling, running with my daughter has been fun. I just book her into as many socially distanced and outdoor camps as possible for her to enjoy and then pause in lockdowns.

I have made some great friends in lockdown playing sport and with my neighbours running together etc - maybe try this!

I’m in a childcare bubble with my parents and this has helped them emotionally as they pick my daughter up and while I don’t get to see them socially know they are enjoying the time with her.

Will be a bit more careful with parents now in Spring term, as transmission increasing and term time.

If you socially distance, stick to the rules, keep clean, avoid high risk areas (supermarkets etc) and stay outside risk is drastically reduced. Also avoid too many video calls!

@happystone

Opp I believe by March April things will be a lot better. Just a few more weeks.

Hope you're right.

@Redbrickwall YANBU.

@Spiratedaway (((HUGS)))

@Redbrickwall

I hear ya. I am OK probably most of the time, say 70%, but the other 30% I feel low and blue, and sick of not being able to see anyone, sick of not being able to do anything, and sick of not being able to GO anywhere.. Me and DH are furloughed. We got furloughed in late March, and both went back to work in late July (me,) and early August (him.)

We then got furloughed again in early November (together,) and are still off. We are off til mid to late January. The longer we are furloughed, the more we worry about not having a job to go back to. And for some reason, I am struggling much more with THIS wave of covid/the tier system/lockdown/furlough, than I did in the Spring/Summer.

Apart from being really fearful of us losing our jobs, I just want to plan a holiday, go on impromptu day trips, go for a meal with friends, plan an afternoon shopping trip with adult DD, and not have to worry about being thrown into a higher tier the day before and having to cancel, I want to go out without a bloody mask, I want to know when it's going to fucking END.

Feeling it today. I feel fed up. Nearly 700 deaths today through covid, and 60,000 new cases. And I have had to cancel a girly shopping trip with my DD that I had planned for Saturday, coz we have been thrown into tier 3 and she has gone into tier 4. SICK OF IT!

As the OP said, we get a bit of hope, and then a shit load of bad news to ruin it. I see no end to at at the moment, and I am SICK OF IT.

Anyway, that rant made me feel a bit better.

I know I am more fortunate than many, and probably shouldn't complain really! Massive hugs and kisses to everyone who is feeling shit, and good wishes to you all. I hope 2021 is much better for you, and that your life and situation improves soon. ❤️