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Original poster

I’m feeling absolute despair today

215 replies

Redbrickwall · 31/12/2020 17:16

So we had the news of the Oxford Vaccine and I thought, ‘great, normality can resume soon!’.

Then that joy is soon whipped away from us. We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change. We are told by Matt Wanksock that we can have normality by Easter, and now SAGE are saying it might not be til Summer and threatening a complete lockdown again.

Anytime there is a hint of positivity it is whipped away instantly again. This has happened SO many times I can’t keep up.

I hang on every press conference terrified about not being able to work and earn again (my husband is self employed). He’s the main breadwinner and we were screwed last time. I dread my children’s education and lives being fucked up even more. Their whole social lives has stopped, their hobbies and their fun. Anything fun in life has stopped. I am worried sick about schools closing again as my husband would need to stop work to support me with the kids on the days I work (I’m a teacher)

I honestly dread getting up in the morning as it’s just the same shit different day. I don’t want to go for another bastard walk, I don’t want a fucking zoom call. I just want our life back.

I have started to hate our house because I’m so sick of the sight of it.

I am sick of the whole bastard thing Sad. I am already on antidepressants before anyone asks lol, but that’s not what this is about. Life has stopped. The joy has gone.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 31/12/2020 18:48

AmperoblueConfused

Bully for you.

Ds has lost his job
Dh has had his wages reduced by 35%
I’m about to lose mine as I’ve been off sick due pre existing mental health issues made worse by Covid.

Glad you’re enjoying your furlough though.Hmm

AlexaShutUp · 31/12/2020 18:49

AmperoBlue, it's good to look for positives and I'm genuinely glad that this year has been good for you and your family. However, a little empathy and sensitivity wouldn't go amiss.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 31/12/2020 18:50

😂😂😂😂😂 I could literally say that life hasn’t really changed much for me either but i really don’t like that the spontaneity has been taken out of my life and having endless hair appointments cancelled. I have the ability to see past my own circumstances and have empathy with others

Janaih · 31/12/2020 18:50

I took my 3 yo for a walk yesterday. Despite being wrapped up in many layers, she started crying after 10 minutes because she was cold. There were many other children crying because they were cold. It was shit.

CaptainSandy · 31/12/2020 18:50

@AmperoBlue oh mate, not the thread for it Sad

purple12 · 31/12/2020 18:51

I've definitely been there. Many times. This week. I just keep thinking each day I get through is one day nearer the end of this. It's nearer the end now than it was this time yesterday. Not very helpful, I know .

Juniperandrage · 31/12/2020 18:53

good for you @AmperoBlue....

That doesn't mean it isn't hard for other people, and people feel how they feel. it doesn't help to shame them for it. This year has not been as hard for me as it has for other people. I'm a SAHM with a small child and my partner is a (very low risk) key worker so we haven't had money worries, I've had some amazing mental health support and I am trying to make the best of the situation - and i'm still exhausted and want this shit to be over. I can't imagine how much harder it is for people with money worries, or juggling work and childcare, or who are or love someone who is ECV

don't be a dick

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 18:54

I feel you op, our government has failed us with too much dithering. I have no hope anymore. They couldn't get track and trace right. I can't fore see them ever managing to vaccinate 2 million a week. Its depressing

Manzanilla55 · 31/12/2020 18:55

I have a weak bladder so walks dont work for me in this awful weather! Who on earth can enjoy it. It makes me want to go to the loo ...!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/12/2020 18:56

For me New Year's Eve this year is worse than Christmas Day in terms of being poignant. New Year's Eve is normally a time to put any shit times behind us and think about all the possibilities that the fresh year holds. New opportunities to get your life sorted or to enrich it. It feels for the first time ever that we don't have that. I think I might cry if I hear Auld Lang Syne and I feel a fraud for even feeling that way because I have a happy and settled family life and we are financially secure unlike lots of other people this year.

It's even stuff like realising there won't be the usual TV adverts for Jet2 etc on New Year's Day, it reminds me of sunshine and fun and possibility. When we meet up with family to wish them Happy New Year we usually discuss the possibility of going for a family weekend away somewhere in the Spring. Won't happen.

I had given up on the idea of a holiday abroad this year and decided to book a house on in this country for a week, but the same place we would have gone back to is in a quiet village and the one local pub & restaurant announced it was closing for the forseeable this week as it's not sustainable. Apart from the selfish point of view of not having restaurants and pubs to go to at the moment, I am thinking that there are some businesses which will NEVER recover from these constant knockbacks and will throw in the towel for ever

I went online and did fantasy holiday apartment shopping (Grin) in the Canaries the other day and didn't put maximum prices in and was a bit horrified to see a few hotels up for sale. It struck me that some industries will be decimated by all of this. Or at least changed forever. It made me depressed as I realised that I am yearning for "normal" and things that may now be permanently changed and which I might never experience again as I remember them.

So I hear ya. I won't be staying up to see the New Year in. I know that plenty of people can find the positive "yeah but we got through it!!" but after 3 shit years at work and things getting worse and worse there my ability to hang on for better times has just gone really.

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 18:56

Yep so cold outside not even walks are enjoyable and my kids don't want to leave the house as it is

DuchessofDerbyshire · 31/12/2020 18:57

Everyone is a bit fed up but my elderly mum is a shining example of what we should all try to be like.

She's very old- will be getting the vaccine soon I hope- and has not been out (other than medical appts) since March. I have seen her on 3 occasions since. My sister is closer and helps her out.

Her attitude is to count her blessings and focus on what she can do, compared to others her age who are much worse off.

I think this particular part of MN (the Corov section) is counter productive and I just clicked as it was coming up as a trending thread.

There is nothing to be gained by collective moaning, or whatever.

We all need to dig deep and be grateful for the small things we have and can do each day.

MimiDaisy11 · 31/12/2020 18:57

We are now told vaccines don’t stop transmission so still no seeing relatives, still wear masks and nothing will actually change.

Where did you read that? I watched the press conference yesterday and one of the experts said they didn't know and it would take months to know, so for now people had to be precautious.

Echobelly · 31/12/2020 19:00

It is depressing. And infuriating - they should have been much clearer and realistic all along. There was never any chance the Jan/Feb, peal virus season, wasn't going top be bad, they could have prepared for that from the start, told people no Christmas this year, schools probably shut at the start of 2021 and made sure schools were supported for that. But by trying to 'improve morale' they have trashed instead. Also it was known vaccines probably don't prevent getting it mildly and passing it on - guidance needs to be given on what vaccines mean in practice, because it doesn't mean we can go straight back to seeing grandma as normal as soon as it's done. A lot of problems happen because a lot of people still just don't understand what they should and shouldn't be doing because the messaging is so bad.

BUT, while the start of 2021 will be bad, the end should be much better.... just hang on in there and accept the next two months will be grim, but it will start improving in spring, when vaccination should start making a dent in hospital admissions, which is the absolutely key thing that needs bringing under control (rather than the virus circulating, per se, if it can be 'declawed').

Just keep counting down the next 8 weeks and I think the light will start to be visible at the end of the tunnel. Accept it won't be 'normality' but it'll be a big improvement.

OhDearMuriel · 31/12/2020 19:01

Stop bloody moaning and be thankful for what you HAVE and being ALIVE!!
This is an awful, unpredictable and devastating disease - so what on earth do you logically expect?

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 19:01

That's true Duchess and admire people who look at the bright side of everything especially the elderly, she sounds amazing. Don't get me wrong i have days where i count my blessings and crack on but we wouldn't be normal if we didn't sometimes feel down about the situation especially with a new year approaching us with very similar repercussions amist us. I just want to see the end in sight and some signs we are to come out of this.

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2020 19:02

Why can’t the “count your blessings” crew go and find another thread to spread their special brand of kindness on?

Billie18 · 31/12/2020 19:03

Redbrickinthewall. Don't get sad or depressed get angry. You haven't lost the things that make life worth living. They have been taken away from you. Taken away with no debate or consensus. Don't be silent about how you feel and don't feel pressurized into thinking that your losses are not important because they are. We all only have one life and already a year of freedom has been taken from us. People who commit crimes are punished by having their freedom taken and being isolated. It feels bad because it is bad.

InFiveMins · 31/12/2020 19:03

I feel the same OP. Sadly I can't see things improving and I am struggling to 'stay strong'. I am lucky that I have not (yet) been financially affected as I am still in employment (as is my DP) but my mental health is suffering and I become panicked at the thought we might never go back to normal.

I am so bored, sick of not being able to see friends and family properly, sick of not being able to go on proper days out - sick of people responding with "you can see friends and family, you can go on days out, you should be grateful to be alive" etc - none of this is 'normal' and I'm fed up.

I am so pessimistic and negative that I think we will be in the same boat this time next year. And the year after that. And so on. Sad

MadameBlobby · 31/12/2020 19:04

I could have written this.

As for SAGE probably irrationally before anyone preaches at me but I hate them with a passion. How do unelected faceless people get to wield so much authority? Whatever is done, it’s never enough for them. Now saying that even full lockdown won’t contain it. So if that’s the case why are we bothering with any restrictions? Can they explain? If the severest measures don’t help why keep insisting on them?

As for the vaccines is it usual for a vaccine to not stop the spread of illness? I thought that was kind of the point of them.

Utterly fucked off with the whole thing and seriously wondering what the point of it any more is.

Wannabangbang · 31/12/2020 19:05

I agree Purpledaisiesthis isn't the post for it. It's okay not to be okay and to miss normal life

User158340 · 31/12/2020 19:05

I think they are just trying to really stress that the first wave of people getting vaccinated absolutely can't start ignoring restrictions. It's a danger they will, otherwise

A lot of people who are getting the vaccine at the moment were shielding anyway, therefore it's going to take time to make a difference in numbers anyway. However, if those who were shielding now start mixing after having the vaccine, then numbers would be more likely to go up than down.

The government need to be honest that it's going to be a long process. Normal by April is head in the sand.

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2020 19:05

As for the vaccines is it usual for a vaccine to not stop the spread of illness? I thought that was kind of the point of them.

They probably will, but even if they didn’t they would largely prevent the vulnerable from going into hospital and dying. That changes the situation for the NHS massively.

the80sweregreat · 31/12/2020 19:06

NYE is an ending and that makes us sad especially if someone has passed this year or there doesn't feel much to look forwards to. Things will look up though I'm sure.
💐to those really suffering today.

CaptainSandy · 31/12/2020 19:07

Stop bloody moaning and be thankful for what you HAVE and being ALIVE!!

Lay off the random caps lock and exclamation marks.
You have no idea of people's circumstances.