So FUCKING angry!!! - SIL contacted by track and trace

[MrsWarleggan]

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Yes you're overreacting

I think you need to start by calming down.

How many days ago did your niece have contact with the boy?

Definitely over reacting.

You are wildly overreacting.

Your SIL's family don't even have Covid as far as anyone knows.

You may have already had it anyway. So might they.

Calm the fuck down.

I think for your own sanity you should forget about this whole incident. The most likely scenario is that nothing happens to your DDs or you.

reading your post there is a clearly a lot of "history" with this side of your family that is obviously going to make you more anxious. child to niece to her dad to your child is pretty far removed in terms of contact which you know and will accept once you have calmed down. sensible to keep this side of the family away from you as its not just your niece that could be affected but it sounds like having a break from them wouldnt be the worst thing in the world anyway.

This is exactly how track and trace is supposed to work: people mix together, one of them tests positive, those who’ve been near them are notified, everyone who’s been notified tells other people they’ve mixed with. It’s going to be a long year for you if you get apoplectic with rage each time this happens!

I can understand being angry because you’re worried but your SIL hasn’t done anything wrong here.

I think you need to get some perspective and calm down.

Plenty of people decided in May when they had to make the decision about schools, to not send their Y6s back to school. They are perfectly entitled to make a decision 2 months later, to let them go to the park.

So, essentially what’s happened is, someone your niece has not had any direct contact, has tested positive.

Calm down. He didn’t know when he was at your house this morning. It was 3 hours before your SIL was called. You sound very judgy about their decision not to send your niece back to school.

Reactions like this is why people are unlikely to say if they've been contacted. You can't be angry at someone for possibly contracting a highly contagious illness.

Get your DD from school if you want. Get tests. Chill the fuck out.

I think you are over reacting. Your niece was playing outside in a group with this boy, no direct contact. That probably is safer than being in school, they are outside for a start. Your BIL didn't know about the positive boy when he hugged your DD. The risk to your family is minimal. Carry on as normal unless BIL tests positive or shows symptoms.

You are not over-reacting at your brother in law holding, hugging and kissing your children.

It's up to your neice with regards to the playground. My ds is choosing to visit his girlfriend and not social distance with her. If he ends up having to isolate due to track and trace thats his look out.

I think the risk of transmission is small OP, and it's reasonable for SIL to use playgrounds, but I agree BIL shouldn't be hugging and kissing your DC so I understand why you are cross.

Calm down!!
The chances that the boy passed it on to someone in nieces group, who passed it to her and then she passed it to BIL and then he passed it to your kids is minute - seriously. Especially in the time scale involved.

You need to calm down about your niece going to a "fucking playground" which is completely allowed and as far as I can see thats the only thing they've done wrong?

Everyone makes their own choices in this. None of us really know what’s enough. If you take issue with SIL taking her daughter to playgrounds, you need to make it clear that they must physically distance from you and your children. Communication is what matters here.
I understand you’re panicking about your children’s health. But if this is how you feel you need to be clear and upfront with everyone in your family/friendship circle. You’re blaming your BIL after the fact
Calm down. Everyone in this has this own rules within the rules. You must know this by now

You shouldn’t be angry for a system that is working. You do need to remove your dd from school and have her tested. It’s incredibly selfish not to, you don’t know if there are vulnerable staff/children.

I couldn't be mad. They hadn't had the call by then.

In Scotland our under 12s do not need to socially distance at all here so can play in parks and hug etc.

Honestly I understand this must have been a shock but I do think you're overreacting.

You probably haven't caught COVID.

This type of thing is going to happen, going forward, that's what the track and trace is for.

Your bio and sil have the right to make their own decisions, you don't have to agree with them but it's their choice.

You need to calm down;
your SIL was reasonable about the playground, because infections are much lower now and rules have relaxed

You could opt to test all your family
or maybe better to wait unless / until your SIL's family test positive

I mean this kindly, bit really - you are massively overreacting. This has been a touch period for lots of people. How are you doing generally? Your reaction suggests there’s a bit more going on that simply you bil popping over before they had the T&T call.

*tough

Unless one of you is shielding, which I suppose you aren’t, you are massively overreacting. He had no idea his DD had been in the vicinity of a Covid case.

The guidance in this situation would be:

• Niece would need to self isolate for 14 days (although I'm not even convinced that would be the case as if she didn't have direct contact the risk to her would be miniscule)
• The rest of the family do NOT need to self isolate

If you choose to stop seeing your BIL and SIL whilst all this plays out then of course that's your right, but the risk to any of you is so tiny.

Nobody needs to test unless they have symptoms. It is pointless to test at other times. Contacts don't automatically get tested. They only get tested unless they have symptoms.

Calm down, take a breathe. In the open air it's highly unlikely to be transmitted. Unless she had physical contact I would simply keep an eye out for a few days, if she gets any even mild symptoms eg slight upset stomach order a test, results usually take less than a day

OP I don't think you're over reacting at all and I'd have reacted in a similar way. I think many are too complacent about coronavirus