So FUCKING angry!!! - SIL contacted by track and trace

[MrsWarleggan]

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

@Spanishmama0114

I was angry with him at the time, as despite him knowing how I felt he still cuddled them.

I was in pieces after I got the call. I am now not.

@MrsWarleggan

Thankyou for the slaps round the face!! I think I more angry at the lack of common sense from them. Being all "I'm not sending my darling girl back to school as its not safe" yet she is quite happy to let her go up the park on her own and mix with far more people up there then would be in her class.

I am in no way angry with the track and trace system and was not/would not be angry about having to test and isolate if required. I will do what I have to and get told to do.

Anyways...... And breathe!!

But being at an outdoor park probably is safer than school. That’s your sisters and BILs choice to make.

To be fair, the first time I met my sister in a park with nieces (2 and 4yrs) they were so pleased to see me they literally launched themselves at me. I detangled myself as quickly as I could but these things happen sometimes.

@JacobReesMogadishu

Problem is it hasn't just been up the park. I updated recently and SIL has said they have been indoors too. Everyday for the past couple of weeks.

Well you were angry before you had that new info.

Even if niece has Been inside with this boy it’s still got to be safer to be inside with one person than inside a classroom with 29 people?

They are allowed to be indoors (aren’t they? I’m not in England) The kids have done nothing wrong.

@Nicknacky

Yes. but with certain restrictions. As previously mentioned, not a free for all!

So sil's dd needs to stay at home now for 14 days and not mix with her friends or other families. Hope she's going to do that?

MrsWarleggan Exactly, so they have done nothing wrong so stop implying they have.

You do you and if you are so paranoid then just don’t be around other people until you are more relaxed.

@SmileyClare

Apparently not. DH has just spoken to FIL. He decided today that as its SILs birthday on Monday he wants to throw a BBQ. If her test is positive then obvs won't go ahead. If it's negative then it is going ahead and if we don't go then he will be extremely disappointed in us. DH completely agrees with me. FIL stuck up for SIL by saying she has her "bubbles". DH told him you can't have atleast 20 of them and that she has "thrown her shit to the wind" throughout the whole thing.

The conversation ended with "Well, I will still be disappointed in you" 😕

I agree it's not helpful to start making accusations about anyone identified as having cv or being exposed to it. We can't make assumptions about where or how a person caught it.. There are going to be massive rows caused by the track and trace system if this is the mindset.

It's also worth keeping perspective. It's possible that the boy hasn't passed an infection onto any of his friends despite them being in his house. Anyone he has been in contact with is isolating as a precaution.

Nicknacky Ahh I see. Yeah that adult was dumb for having a go at her.

@Nicknacky

With all due respect you do not know my in-laws. I can say that with 100% certainty they have not followed any sort of social distancing throughout. Even during lockdown. I could post a pic of my elder niece's 18th birthday party to demonstrate if you wish over the Easter Weekend?

I would also like to add that I have seen people. However, we have stuck to what we have been advised to do. Not a "bollocks to you Jack, we are invincible and do what ever we want attitude"

MrsWarleggan Just isolate your family from them. If they don’t care for social distancing etc for the whole time then I wouldn’t risk being near them now. At least your partner is on side and what you both say goes for your family. Leave them to it but keep yourselves safe.

Oh dear, just seen your update. Has sil been in contact with the boy or just her dd?

Her dd shouldn't be socialising but sil can if she hasn't been in direct contact with an infected person. This is the trouble with track and trace though, people are misinterpreting the information.

So stay away from them then if you are so worried then you don’t need to worry.

You can’t control what others do, only what you do.

And for me, life is now to short to stop my kids seeing and hugging close family members. Coronavirus isn’t going away anytime soon and we can only all just be sensible but live our lives.

I’m also avoiding certain people/families who I know haven’t been following all the rules.

I agree with the fact that you can't police other people's actions, just your own.

I think it's ok to (tactfully) ask family members if they're aware of the measures they're supposed to be taking regarding track and trace. There's no point having the app if you're ignoring the advice!

For all you know, there are children at school who's parents haven't adhered to any lockdown, or colleagues at work? Unfortunately that's out of your control.

Not unreasonable to say No thanks to the barbeque. Unreasonable to voice your opinions on what they're doing, I think they'd do it anyway and family relations would just be very damaged.

My dh took a swab test at a drive through centre and didn't get his result for 4 days. Im surprised the girl in your dds bubble got hers so quickly, within a hour?!
It perhaps depends where you're tested.

@SmileyClare

No she had it done at 6 last night. She just didn't mention it until someone asked whether she was giving the teachers their presents today and she said she wasn't as she had to get DD tested last night as she had a temp. Got the results this afternoon 😊

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I don’t actually know what you’re angry about. Your niece going to the park? That’s perfectly allowed and low risk really.

Massively overacting.

Yes your massively over reacting unless your child has an underlying condition or an extremely low immune system. In which case you should be shielding away from others anyway

So you are upset that your children have been exposed to someone (your brother) who was exposed to someone (your niece) who may have been exposed to someone (in her playground group) who may have been exposed to someone (the unknown boy) who has tested positive? And this all happened in the same day? Take a breath, OP. Even if Boy Zero infected someone in the playground group there has been no time for that child to incubate the disease and even pass it to your niece, let alone from her to your brother.

Yes, your brother should be more respectful of your anxiety about infection, but this is a virus, not the cheese-touch. Transmission os not instantaneous.