So FUCKING angry!!! - SIL contacted by track and trace

[MrsWarleggan]

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

This sounds like it's about not liking your in-laws more than it's about Covid.

I really dislike the blaming culture that has arisen around this illness whereby people are being blamed for the 'crime' of contracting a virus, or even, as in this case, accidentally coming into contact with someone else who has contracted a virus. It's like anyone who isn't strong enough not to catch the virus is some sort of scum.

First of all because we are all a bit stressed.

In all of this, the error was your bil not maintaining social distance with your children. I think you are right to be annoyed with him about that.

If it was me, as I like to empty my brain, I would write down a possible timeline to see if the transmission chain would even be possible. Then you probably have to assume you won't catch it, but I would watch out for symptoms too. And try to not worry too much.

I think it's likely OP has made clear she wants any visitors to respect guidelines re different households socially distancing and that's why she's upset.

Yes it's up to BIL/SIL to make their own choices about what their kids do and playgrounds are perfectly reasonable, but it's infuriating if they then disregard OP's wishes (and government recommendations) by kissing and cuddling OP's children. You can just imagine them saying "oh don't worry we don't have anything" and then here we are. Though as PPs have said the risk here is so small

I am making some assumptions here but if they are right I understand OP's anger

Order a test. They come super quickly and so will the results. Getting yourself in a big steaming flap isn't going to help. He didn't know, your SIL hasn't caused it. Are you usually such a complete panicker?

"It is pointless to test at other times. "

Well a lot of asymptomatic people have tested positive so obviously not totally pointless.

@MrsWarleggan

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

You sound like a complete loon. Your neice did not have direct contact with the boy. Your BIL was not even in the same place as the boy.

Why do you think that you need to order tests when your DD1 has had no contact with the boy?

Why would you think that you had it if your BIL does not, your niece has no symptoms and by your own admission did not have any direct contact with the boy?

Why are you in pieces? This is going to be life for the forseeable future. This shows that TEST and Trace is working as intended. The boy would have been asked who he had been in contact with recently and he remembered that your niece was in the general group.
At the moment your DD1 is probably at more risk at school than she is from any of what you have said about your BIL or niece.
This could literally happen to anyone, even you, at any point for the forseeable future so I would advise you to actually read some proper guidance on what to to from a government souce rather than expending so much energy screaming about it on Mumsnet

I would ask that your BIL respect social distancing whatever the circumstances

Had you asked them not to touch your children when visiting?

Thankyou for the slaps round the face!! I think I more angry at the lack of common sense from them. Being all "I'm not sending my darling girl back to school as its not safe" yet she is quite happy to let her go up the park on her own and mix with far more people up there then would be in her class.

I am in no way angry with the track and trace system and was not/would not be angry about having to test and isolate if required. I will do what I have to and get told to do.

Anyways...... And breathe!!

"whereby people are being blamed for the 'crime' of contracting a virus, or even, as in this case, accidentally coming into contact with someone else who has contracted a virus."

Surely he's being blamed for the very close contact he had with OP's children, but is that allowed in a bubble?
I wouldn't be hugging or kissing anybody at the moment.

As pp have said it is outdoors.

The children involved were very young so possibly less likely to tra transmit the virus
than an adult

If your niece only had indirect contact with this boy via other kids there is almost no chance he could infect other kids and have them pass on the virus the same day.

Order some tests if you want reassurance and maybe monitor her temperature for the next few days but the odds of it coming back positive due to this incident seems small.

This is a prime example of people who don't seem to understand the basic rules, as they somehow think they are exempt. It's this sort of behaviour that will get us into a second wave this winter.

Having said that, I don't think you should worry too much in this instance, provided it's a one-off. Transmission IS very low at the moment.

At this point you and your household have not been in contact with anyone who has been confirmed with having C19 so you need to calm down and stay calm. And I say this as someone who is in a very similar situation

Surely he's being blamed for the very close contact he had with OP's children, but is that allowed in a bubble?
I wouldn't be hugging or kissing anybody at the moment.

I was thinking more in general; I thought the OP seemed angry at the fact that someone else's child had tested positive for the virus, as well as being angry at her BIL for the hugging.

Fucking calm the fuck down fuck fuck fuck

In Scotland children under 12 do not have to socially distance indoors or outdoors so I doubt that the BIL has really put anyone in OP's family at any risk even if by some miracle he does have it.

@ZombieLizzieBennet

Yep. They haven't been allowed to step foot in the house since March.

@isabellerossignol

Not angry at the kid who has tested positive in anyway shape or form. I'm angry at IL's complete and utter lack of common sense!!

@Mawbagz

Possibly my favourite response of the year. I know I should calm down, maybe also ask my Dr to up my Stertraline!!

@MrsWarleggan

Thankyou for the slaps round the face!! I think I more angry at the lack of common sense from them. Being all "I'm not sending my darling girl back to school as its not safe" yet she is quite happy to let her go up the park on her own and mix with far more people up there then would be in her class.

I am in no way angry with the track and trace system and was not/would not be angry about having to test and isolate if required. I will do what I have to and get told to do.

Anyways...... And breathe!!

I think you’re being massively judgemental towards them.

It is their decision whether to send their daughter back to school or not. It is not compulsory at the moment. They are allowed to go outside and go to playgrounds. Outside the risk of catching the virus is much lower than inside.

Stop blaming your SIL. It is likely that they’ll be cases connected with your child’s school, your work. That’s going to be life for the next few months.

What you can do is ask anyone outside of household to socially distance from your children. To limited the risk to you. In fact your BIL being less than 2 metres from your children is the only thing they’ve done wrong

^*Thankyou for the slaps round the face!! I think I more angry at the lack of common sense from them. Being all "I'm not sending my darling girl back to school as its not safe" yet she is quite happy to let her go up the park on her own and mix with far more people up there then would be in her class.

I am in no way angry with the track and trace system and was not/would not be angry about having to test and isolate if required. I will do what I have to and get told to do.

Anyways...... And breathe!!*^

I think COVID has caused such a huge divide in what people think is acceptable or will and won't do and it can seem illogical.

But there are quite a few people in between this boy and then your bil, so I highly doubt you need to worry.

You are fully entitled to feel angry that your BIL did not respect social distancing with your children. That is assuming you have consistantly been observing social distancing up until now.

However, if he's routinely been hugging and kissing your children up until now and he didn't know about the track and trace then he wouldn't have known the situation had changed. That's a risk you've chosen to take by allowing previous contact.

Firstly though establish:

• when was your niece in contact with the boy?
• it generally takes at least 5 days to develop symptoms and it seems to be people can be infectious for a couple of days before that. ie potentially infectious 3 days after contact.
• The same would apply to your BIL. He could be infectious 3 days after possibly being infected by your niece.

If the playground incident was less than 6 days ago you should be ok.

I would feel frightened and shocked though to hear that news so I understand your feelings.

I think the OPs post clearly came across that she was incredulous at the hypocracy that sil wouldn't send her dd to school where as it wasn't "safe" yet allowed her dd to go to a crowded playground to mix free;y with no restrictions and that her bil was hugging and kissing HER children when social distancing means that is not allowed between two separate households.

Bil obviously cannot respect your (& the government's) guidelines so don't let him over the doorstep in future.

@Idontgiveagriffindamn

Very possibly, but throughout this they have acted as if they are untouchable. Complete and total disregard for any social distancing. Parties. SIL went back to work after furlough and as niece isn't going to school we asked who would be having her.... "Oh it's OK she's going to a friends house. Her mum is pregnant and is shielding, so she hasn't been in contact with anyone!"

I can't compute that level of common sense.

It would be pointless your family doing a test at the moment as in the very small chance that your family have caught it, it wouldn't show positive yet.