Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

So FUCKING angry!!! - SIL contacted by track and trace

206 replies

MrsWarleggan · 16/07/2020 12:36

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
MrsWhites · 16/07/2020 13:41

Massively overreacting. To be fair it seems that your main issue with your SIL is that she didn’t allow your niece to go back to school.

How is your niece in any more danger at a playground than your child is at school?

ZombieLizzieBennet · 16/07/2020 13:45

[quote MrsWarleggan]@ZombieLizzieBennet

Yep. They haven't been allowed to step foot in the house since March.[/quote]
Then you've every right to be extremely pissed off about that and that would be true regardless of the track and trace. The stuff about school and playgrounds is none of your business.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 16/07/2020 13:47

@MrsWhites

I have no problem that she hasn't sent her to school. I have a problem with the hypocrisy that it isn't safe for her to go to school in a bubble where at least some degree of social distancing and hygiene is maintained, but it is safe for her to go up to a large playground and mix with an untold number of kids.

OP posts:
Aesopfable · 16/07/2020 13:48

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/testing-and-tracing/nhs-test-and-trace-if-youve-been-in-contact-with-a-person-who-has-coronavirus/

try to avoid contact with anyone you live with as much as possible
people you live with do not need to self-isolate if you do not have symptoms
people in your support bubble do not need to self-isolate if you do not have symptoms

MrsWhites · 16/07/2020 13:49

Just noticed that you have not allowed any family members to come in contact with your children since March, so in that case your brother in law was out of order not respecting your boundaries...your family, your rules.

But in the same respect, their family, their rules so you need to stop being so judgmental about their choices. It’s literally non of your business.

I didn’t send my child back to school either but he’s been allowed to play on play areas, we just follow good hygiene and follow guidelines. Quite frankly I’m sick of people using the virus as a stick to beat other people’s parenting choices with!

Standardy · 16/07/2020 13:50

Yes you are overreacting. I'm impressed by the track and trace system though if it knows who has been to the park, unless she knows the family of the boy and they named her?

BestOption · 16/07/2020 13:50

Can I ask how T&T had your SIL's contact details if her DD was at a playpark by herself?

If the boy has it, it's possible she could have got it from the equipment they were sharing, or had it on her hands & taken it into their home.

However, it's quite a small chance anyway & an even smaller chance your BIL caught it from her, door handles etc..

I don't think you need to be extremely worried, but just keep an even closer eye on the kids & get them seen if they have anything unusual, including skin rashes.

It might be simplest not to see BIL/SIL/ kids for a bit.

Aesopfable · 16/07/2020 13:51

The problem is as your niece is presumably very young they are probably not complying with keeping a distance from her as much as possible so I would think they should self isolate too.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 16/07/2020 13:51

@Standardy

Yes, she knows the family.

OP posts:
Aesopfable · 16/07/2020 13:53

But in the same respect, their family, their rules so you need to stop being so judgmental about their choices. It’s literally non of your business.

When it comes to people ignoring track and trace or not respecting the social distancing towards my kids then it literally is my business.

2020wasShocking · 16/07/2020 13:55

You’re over reacting. There was an email from my DC’s school yesterday informing that one of the staff members had tested positive for covid. The bubble was closed and the people/children in the bubble were advised to isolate for 14 day but not their household

fashu · 16/07/2020 13:56

To be honest, I think if you had written this post in a calm manner without curse words, you would have gotten more positive responses with advice. I never understand the need to swear, especially when writing.
You won't be able to get tests without being symptomatic. So the only thing you can do is bring your DD home from school if you are worried.

Jrobhatch29 · 16/07/2020 13:57

Calm down. This sort of thing will happen. Someone turned up with bloody symptoms at my partners work the other day and has tested positive. Whilst angry, we aren't overreacting. The chances of catching covid through that interaction are tiny

JaniceWebster · 16/07/2020 13:57

the hypocrisy that it isn't safe for her to go to school in a bubble where at least some degree of social distancing and hygiene is maintained

oh come on, that's bollocks. There's no such thing as social distancing, the bubbles are not entire families and you mix just as well through siblings and parents anyway.

You need to either decide to strictly shield
or accept that any of your family is susceptible to be in contact with the virus! You really are over-reacting here.

Jrobhatch29 · 16/07/2020 13:57

Your interaction I mean, not ours.

Userzzz · 16/07/2020 13:58

You're overreacting

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 16/07/2020 13:58

@fashu

Understood and I did apologise for the swearing!

OP posts:
heynori · 16/07/2020 13:59

Christ. Calm down.

luckylavender · 16/07/2020 14:00

I don't understand why you're angry. This is how it!'s supposed to work. You BIL shouldn't have been all over your children though.

loulouljh · 16/07/2020 14:12

Over reacting..massively!!!

Gogogadgetarms · 16/07/2020 14:19

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left

YANBU to be angry at an adult who does not social distance around your children. He has broken the guidance and your wishes.

YABU for being angry about the rest.

Badbadbunny · 16/07/2020 14:21

I have no problem that she hasn't sent her to school. I have a problem with the hypocrisy that it isn't safe for her to go to school in a bubble where at least some degree of social distancing and hygiene is maintained, but it is safe for her to go up to a large playground and mix with an untold number of kids.

I'm with you on this. The hypocracy re Covid is ridiculous. Our neighbour has been off work (and still off) from her job in a GP surgery administrator due to being vulnerable, but is buggering off to Spain next week. Her daughter is also going, she's a teacher and is refusing to go back to school in September (likewise she's been nowhere near her school since March). So, it's apparently safe for them all to go to Spain for a holiday, but they can't possibly go to work. Hypocrites. They'd soon change their tune if they weren't on full pay for not doing their jobs.

Quietlyloud · 16/07/2020 14:29

I don’t think you’re overreacting, if you haven’t had them in your home since March and then he just waltzes in and starts hugging and kissing your children I’d be fuming. Regardless of knowing about the positive result for a child that might have passed it on to his kid or not, he shouldn’t have come in touching your kids because he wants to. No fucking respect at all.

ddl1 · 16/07/2020 14:36

I think your reaction is a little strong. I do think that your BIL should probably not be handling and kissing your children at all (or any children not of his household) at this stage; but the risk from the specific incident seems extremely low. Your BIL was not directly exposed; he had contact with his daughter who was also not directly exposed though some people in her group were - really, I'd say the risk was minuscule. You and your children take greater risks every day, just through your being a key worker (which I assume involves contact with the public) and their going to school.

MrsWhites · 16/07/2020 14:37

**But in the same respect, their family, their rules so you need to stop being so judgmental about their choices. It’s literally non of your business.

When it comes to people ignoring track and trace or not respecting the social distancing towards my kids then it literally is my business.

But they are two separate issues. If you had posted ‘my brother in law didn’t respect my boundaries regarding social distancing with my children’ - you would have got totally different responses. But you ranted and raved about how unreasonable your SIL was about keeping her daughter off school and letting her go to a playground - that part is non of your business!