So FUCKING angry!!! - SIL contacted by track and trace

[MrsWarleggan]

Long story.

Short version. SIL who thought it was too dangerous to let her YR 6 go to school, yet lets my niece go up to a packed fucking playground has been contacted this morning at 11am to advise that a boy, who although didn't have direct contact with my Niece, was mixing with the group she was in and has tested positive.

My BIL turned up this morning at 8am and was standing at the front door, I had to pop to the kitchen and when I came back in he was holding DD2 kneeling on the floor whilst kissing DD1. I went mad. He left.

TBF he didn't know that this boy had tested positive but I'm now in fucking pieces. WTF do I do?? I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!

Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??

Sorry for all the swearing but I'm soooo pissed off at the lack of common sense that side of the family fucking have!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

The chance of you having caught it like this is tiny.

To be honest from what you've said I'd say the main risk of all of this is to your mental health rather than your physical health.

Well, your BIL should have kept his distance from your DDs if you hadn't expressly given him permission to cuddle them.

For the rest however, calm down. It isn't that likely that your DD has picked up Covid from the other boy as they weren't in direct contact. Get tests if you want to, if it is mandated by your work.

Personally, I think bubbles are bollocks too. There is no social distancing in them as far as I can see. Someone in your DD's bubble at school could easily come across an infected person outside of school too. Does everyone have to panic then? Many key workers can be in regular contact with Covid patients if they work in a hospital, even though they would be wearing PPE.

I find the whole thing just so utterly bonkers and hard to follow. Yes, Covid is a real threat, but the rules around how people can or cannot interact have just become so complicated and ridiculous that I am sure I must break dozens of them whenever I set foot out of the door.

I do my social distancing. I have my masks now. I haven't been in a bubble yet (I don't think). My DD3 (18) has had many socially distanced meet-ups in parks and gardens with friends. She also works in Tesco and in Costa, so perfectly possible that she has come into contact with infected people without even knowing it. Perfectly possible that I have too when doing the weekly family shop there.

Without wishing to be too blase, life does have to go on.

The track and trace system is our best approach to managing the spread and you will probably be contacted again, particularly as you've been working throughout and dd is at school.

I'd advise finding out what the protocol is when you are contacted so you're prepared and don't react like this next time.

You haven't been anymore "exposed to cv" than you would be at work or out in the public. It's not a given that you'll catch cv even if you have contact with an infected person.

Fear of the unknown is fuelling your anxiety and fear often shows itself as anger.

Bil didn't come in the house. Not sure why people are saying he "waltzed in".

I hope you've calmed down now. The last thing you want to do is pass this fear onto your dc.

You need to calm down a bit

I'm in the wildly overreacting group. Please, for your own sake, relax.

Good god woman it's not bubonic plague. Calm your tits.

Ironically, just had a text from one of the mums in DD2s class bubble. She's just been for a test as had a high temp. Oh well!! 🙄

but I'm now in fucking pieces.

What a drama llama.

The chances of your niece having it are minimal. The chances of your niece having passed it to her parents are minimal. The chances of a parent passing it to you is even more minimal.

Total and utter hysteria and a big overreaction.

Good god woman it's not bubonic plague. Calm your tits.

This ^

@MrsWarleggan

Ironically, just had a text from one of the mums in DD2s class bubble. She's just been for a test as had a high temp. Oh well!! 🙄

That is just the point.

Class bubbles are not the "totally safe" and sterile options that some people seem to think they are. Personally, I suspect your DD is just as likely to come across a person from an affected family there as she is at the playground. Plus, she is probably in closer contact with them in the class bubble (often indoors too) than she was at the playground, which was an outdoor area.

It would be possible to drive yourself insane with this.

Why wasn't your BIL social distancing? YANBU to be angry/disappointed that he broke those rules. YANBU to remind him and anyone else about that.

One of dds bubble has just been for a test as has a high temp

Do you know the steps to follow?
Your Dd at home until test results of her classmate
If positive, dd quarantines at home for 14 days (the rest of the family can go out/work.)
Test if dd develops symptoms

If dd gets positive test then you need to let everyone know who has been in contact with her in the last 2 weeks (including Bil ironically) and your whole household need to quarantine for 14 days.

Oh and remain claim

You need to calm down! You are massively over reacting.

Playgrounds are open so there was nothing wrong with your niece being allowed to go to there. It was outside so the chances of her having caught the virus from the boy are miniscule anyway.

Honestly, I'm all for being cautious but unless you stay locked in your house forever more, there is a chance you may come into contact with it.

@SmileyClare

School have informed that bubble only closes down upon a positive result. Otherwise everyone goes in as normal 🤷‍♀️

MrsW I didn't know that, thanks. Hopefully it comes back negative.

You sound very calm now

Once again, thankyou for all the calm downs. I have generally been quite relaxed throughout the whole thing (yes, really). I am now calm. Although on the odd day I do have a bit of an anxiety blow out. Today was/is one of those days.

Wow this is the 3rd time I’ve seen / read about someone reacting like this thanks to track and trace.

I’m more scared about testing positive and people reacting like this than coronavirus itself.

Calm the fuck down and set an example to your kids

"Am I over reacting thinking that we've now got it, that I need to rush down the school and grab DD1 and order tests??"
Well, it's not exactly rushing since you've taken the time to post on MN. Would you post on MN rather than dial 999 in an emergency too? Mmmm, must find out what other MNers would do before I make a decision for myself.

I'm a key worker so DD1 is currently at fucking school!!
I'm more concerned that they didn't teach me how to fuck at school. it is a private school?

I think you’re right to be angry with BIL for lack of social distancing and I don’t blame you wanting to be cautious about the possibility of your niece contracting Covid from playing with other children at the park.

It’s all very well other posters saying you’re over-reacting but that’s what Boris thought in the beginning too...!

OH for gods sake calm down, and wash your mouth out with soap !

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite hahahaha haha 🤣 gold

I think that track and trace shouldn’t be source for blame. But it obvious it is. People will resent and personally blame people who have been in contact with them. I’m sure from the mood on MN will we be seeing “SIL killed my mum as she was only contact I had with CV” type threads.

It’s a global pandemic

No one is intentionally catching / spreading / transmitting

It’s passed human to human and it’s contagious. So the only caveat to catching it from someone is that they are human.

I don’t get this blame culture. It’s going around. No one is special or immune so it’s better to have a when not if mindset.

Next thing will be compo complies popping up so you can sue family and friends.

Who will want to inform close contacts in that culture of pitchforks?

My sis said if I catch it, I haven’t seen her. I understand why. I could tell her off the record and she could self isolate without the fear and hatred and blame.

Or some people could take that a step further and say they haven’t seen anyone to stop any chance of blame and anger. Is that what we want? If I had someone baying for my blood because I was the “reason” I think I could do without that level animosity thanks.

Good job I am only seeing my bf and sis. If I hadn’t seen them within two weeks of a positive test I would no one to trace. Even my school school didn’t name and shame the teacher who caused the school to shut

Once again... Not reacting to track and trace.

I am a bit worried that the public will start acting irrationally when contacted by track and trace, making accusations about how they must have caught it, fingers of blame and so on.

Glad MN have talked you down op.

You're not overreacting about BIL.

We're all still supposed to be socially distancing and BIL should not have made the unilateral decision to break this with your children without your permission.

SIL hasn't done anything wrong; BIL is a dick.