Coronavirus Briefing Bingo

[MockersxxxxxxxSocialDistancing]

Hancock has said "We have been very clear" twice. If he says it again, I'm going to shout "House!"

Also looking out for 'Guided by the science' and 'The PM is working hard...'

Any more?

Still short of 100k tests.

Full house for stupid journalists still all asking the same question and wanting them to say what Boris will be saying on Sunday. Shouldn’t invite these idiots back.

"Cautious changes... Boris to set out road map on Sunday" (so don't expect me to tell you anything!)

I would have given these poor sods the day off for VE Day. The briefings feel pointless to me until Boris shows up.

no proper answer to C4's report about the out-of-date PPE with new sell-by stickers stuck on top of the out of date ones.

What "tests" were conduced on this old stock and where are the results?

I think that young journalist whoever she was wants a Big Mac

And scientists say made-up big round number targets make their job more difficult.

If we're not announcing any meaningful changes on Sunday, why not announce them now?

If we're not announcing any meaningful changes on Sunday, why not announce them now?

That's my thought too.
Guess we'll find out tomorrow.

The word is, Shapps is going to ask us to get on our bikes. Norman Tebbit must be turning in his coffin. (Yes, I know he's not dead. He's undead.)

....still not managing to test 100k daily.

I can't ride a bike for love nor money.
People round here are scary on bikes!
I'll observe lockdown rules but I will not be on any pushbikes!

A national plan to increase cycling and walking.

Thought we already had that with the price of bus fares?

"At the reigon of around 100k tests..."

Oh no. You don't get away with that. You set a made-up number plucked out of the air as your target, you do not 'nearly' meet it.

So disappointed. Grant Shapps managed to do this speech without parroting the slogan continually like a Heart FM presenter, but then he failed by using it in the answer to a question.

Shapps is a pretty good speaker. JVT puts me to sleep!

Both men's suits are quite sharp at least. 😅

So, did GS just say we’ll hear plans for schools on Sunday?

...So the problem with care homes is the high proportion of older people in them.

We've got our best brains working on that one.

I thought we were supposed hear all plans for everything inc schools on Sunday

One difficulty with walking or cycling to work in London, probably the place most likely to see a terrible public transport related spike, is that not many workers can afford to live anywhere near their work. The places with the most feasible walk/cycle journeys to work are frequently empty and owned by someone on another continent.

@inkpaperstars very good point, we were just saying the same. I think it's fair to assume there will be no change to the WFH wherever possible directive tomorrow. In fact, maybe Boris will need to make it some sort of legal requirement, in order to make sure employers who don't agree with home working force ppl onto public transport for unecessary journeys.
How this active transport is going to work if you say, live in the South East, work in central London and can't WFH I don't know...never mind all those with mobility issues that mean they can't physically ride a bike but can, say, drive (such as myself). No way you'll get me on a bike, Id be a cert for A&E! Oh well.. guess all will be revealed tomorrow.

@WhiteChocTwix, I know, those with mobility issues were rather pointedly ignored. I agree that wfh will be a long term thing and have to be mandated.

I agree on the bike, I have always said if I had to cycle in London I would not expect to survive more than about ten minutes!

I'm fuming : see the cycling thread.
Nobody is getting me on a bike.

.....HOUSE!!!!

This thread is officially no more. It has ceased to be. Bereft of life it rests in peace. It has curled up its tootsies and joined the bleedin Chior Invisibule. This is an Ex-Thread.

What a circus. He can't answer his own question. Every time he explains what it means, he gives a different answer: Go to work if you can/if you must/if you like/if there is no alternative/but then again don't.

...or a man who makes potions in a travelling show. I Know its not much, but it's the best he can do. His gift is his shite, and this one's for all of you.

Late to the kitchen party. I wasn't expecting the briefing to be at 7! Why the change?

...Afternoon Lerts

Dalek Sharma today, all sink pplunger and no death-ray.

Shiny new charts, moving the goalposts by adjusting the scale to make everything look better.

Now what's the betting on 100k tests?