30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Not read back through thread yet but - I'm in pain. Quite a lot, actually. On the left side of my abdomen. Enough to make me cry. And I'm stuck here on me tod with a sleeping toddler and all my friends are working today, and my Mum's away, so I could just do with sitting with friends awhile please if ok? I know you should Chinese burn me or something but not really up to that right now...

What have you done to yourself Casserole? Poor thing, have a seat and a cup of tea.

Also, Scorps hope that didn't come across as nagging. It was meant to be all inspiring and shizz, but tone is very hard. I wanted to be all Obama like: Yes we can!

cassettetape You ok?

Mobama I thought you was being all stirring and shit. Scorps has gone to be poked, though, so she isn't about to appreciate it.

You OK Cass? (durr, clearly you aren't). I've got to go to gynae now but will check back later. Bad enough to cry doesn't sound good. Do you know what's causing it? Have you had it before? Where are you in your cycle, has the droid just gone?

Lyretta Let us know how the gynae app goes.

Hello

Doing better, pain abated thankfully, was Not Nice. On day 5 so droid still here but in it's final furlong or so. Sorry for scaremongering...

Am inappropriately excited that someone amongst us at least is getting her rat out this afternoon. Go Lyra's rat!

Oh, what's happening to everyone? A big swing of the shitty stick thrown around the Palais.

lyra Good luck for the arvo. You haven't wasted time, you are going about things properly. Also thanks for putting me straight re my bloods / Clomid checks Told you I was clueless & prone to menkalings.

scorps my poor scorps. Have a quick karate chop followed by a hairstroke. You are most definitely not a loser. You are extremely brave to have been through the years of various tests & shiz regarding your health, you are witty & supportive to all of us & our menkals, & you are doing everything right to win a baybee. And you shall. Enjoy your needles lady this arvo.

cass I'm glad you're doing a bit better. If the small is having a lie down are you able to also? Look after yourself.

Love the 20 mins chunk of time advice. Am going to apply it to everyfink!

In fact we all deserve a bit of TLC. Pliz to listen to this calming whale musak, have a peppermint tea (OK its gin really, but don't tell), put on your fluffy dressing gowns & have massage of your choice, x

Oh Cass poppet you caah. Tea, tea, chocolate, tea, hot water bottles. Have you any idea how guilty I feel that I have only ever had period pain about half-a-dozen times?! Mind you I do get so spectacularly distended a belly I practically have to cart it around in a wheelbarrow

Will be finking of you and your rat later, lycraswimmingcossiewithsaucyhalterneck.

Scorps "I'm such a fucking perfectionist that I cripple myself into inaction through the sheer weight of expectation I place upon myself".

I've got a feeling you might be right there Scoresonthedoors, as whenever you are positive about your talents, you always drag it back down to what you view as failures and wasted life etc., because of the nightmare you had in your twenties and the things that you had to let go.

It's clear from what you say that you were blighted by illness, and yet you view it as a personal failure, and that colours your beliefs about how things will be in the future. You have put a hell of a lot of work into your academic pursuits, only to have funding pulled. It's not surprising you feel negative about the future!

Can you make a book with a list of things that you would like pursue, from the incidental to the huge lifestyle type stuff (LEAVE OUT DIFFMENT!!! You are already working on that!), and then do research on what steps it takes to achieve each one. Use deadlines for yourself and stick to them...don't use the excuse that you have already failed (by starting so late, not being prepared enough etc...these are classic issues for perfectionists!) to stop you from doing something...do it, even if you know it will be shit...it doesn't matter! Get some small things on the go whilst preparing some big things. Spend more time on your blog (so we can read it)

you think your parents don't have anything to be proud of? I'm guessing they are though, and I will thank you for leaving marriage out of the list of 'achievements', ahem...I have managed perfectly well to con the boyf into spening his live with me without a plentiful parental endowment ;-)

Please feel free to say "I was asking for sympathy, not advice, now fuck off you patronising, bossy bitch!"

and plz excuse if this is a cross post - had to do some 'work', eeeww...

Fuckin hell. I was in there for less than one chunk of time and came out with my world upside down.

It wasn't the consultant I saw last time, it was her registrar. She is sending me for HyCoSy (like HSG) to check tubes, HO needs to have another spunk test, then she thinks we will probably be sent straight to IVF

I asked why not clomid first. She said that because I am ovulating (at least most of the time), the evidence for clomid in that circumstance isn't great. But I'm sure lots of other people around these parts have taken it even when ovulating. She said that I would probably need to take it as part of IVF anyway, and they like to limit your exposure to it where possible (because of cancer risk). She also said I should go straight to IVF because "time is running out" - although conversely she said an FSH of 10 was absolutely fine (for info I'm 34).

I didn't think to ask why not IUI - but then I was in a bit of a spin. I really wish I had asked HO to take the time off work to accompany me now, but then I wasn't expecting THAT discussion.

Do no pass go, do not collect the clomid, just go straight to IVF .

I'm happy to go for the HyCoSy, but I am going to need to ask some follow up questions after that. I know I should go over to the AC board but I'm a bit scared. Suddenly things have gone from happening faarrrr too slowly to WAY too fast.

Oh Lyra. I'm sorry.

Here's my first thoughts on what could be happening, for what they're worth -

1. She's wrong - in which case, go for your tests, take some time to research your list of questions, and then sit down at your next appointment and hash through them all,

1. She's right - in which case then at least you have someone proactive who is hustling you through to "the money" rather than someone insisting you spend a year on clomid regardless of what the evidence says.

Feeling for you though (could feel you instead if you like?), scary to go from naught to 90 like that.

Oh, and if 2 others on this thread have been told they're young for all this at 32, you're definitely not fucking running out of time at 34.

My poor Beshes . What a shitty, topsy-turvy, emotional, painful roller coaster of a day everyone's having. I'm much too rubbish to say anything better than the likes of LovelyHeadbanger (thanks for the fantastic message of support - I totally heart you), Cass, Cho Muse to all you poor laydeez. Suffice to say that in only three months, I love you all!

And Scorps, a special message for you: you are so not the things you said you are. You are amazing. Full stop. End of.

Thanks for the thoughts and the grope, Cass. You're right, maybe she is actually doing me a favour by trying to "fast-track" me. She thought I would have to wait a couple of months for the tube test anyway, so as you say, plenty of time to think and to research. Sorry for all the mememe but it was a bit of a surprise!

I've just messaged you (twice, incoherently!) elsewhere Lyra,Lyra,yourbumsonfire

Ladies I just had the strongest flashforward / vision of us all sitting in a park having a picnic in years to come with all our baybees. Let's promise we'll do that, when the time comes and we all win (as we WILL, we WILL).

Even if we have to buy the new Phil & Ted buggy that has a zimmerframe attachment!

Chasinglycra I totally understand, it would be such a shock. Not the same thing but DS was born with some heart problems - it was all ticking along nicely till at one routine appt they thought they'd found something that basically moved us from category one: see em a couple of times a year to category ten thousand: they told us he might need open heart surgery within the next fortnight. It was such a hideous week and I kept thinking "but I don't belong on this level" - it all escalated so fast. Anyway, they hadn't found what they thought they had, so after a week or not sleeping or eating we were back down to level one again, but it felt so wrong, this wrenching up umpteen levels to red alert suddenly. I can imagine that's vaguely similar to how you felt...

Lyra, love. You have all my sympathy. The speed with which IVF is advised is breathtaking, and you'll need time, tears and a fuckload of gin to process it - at least in my experience.

Am very much here for you.

Wooooah, Nelly! There will be no deserting of us to the AC boards, RunDMC! I mean, go there by all means but don't leave us. Don't ever leave us!

Haven't really caught up but felt compelled to barge in and snuggle Lyra. listen to cam luvver,for she is wise as well as kind and rather lush.

Smooches to scorps too,you should listen to chooochooo for very much the same reasons.

And tequila slammers all round,along with apologies for not really knowing what is going on here at the moment...am still in rather a lot of pain.

Scorps that comment about being down after droid really helped me. I've been so down this week.

Oh, and I am spending my week buying all manner of tat off of ebay so I think one pair of shoes is restrained in the extreme!

GINBUNDLE

You are all just ACE. Nearly as ace as the TOTP 80s special on BBC2 last night. What would I do without you? You even calmed me down enough that I was able to explain everything to HO when he got in, in a sensible manner, without weeping OR wailing. It's a lot to take in but you have really helped, fanks xx

Gin how is your toofy peg? It looks fine in your post above!

Gordon's making a very dignified and lovely speech.

Farewell!

Isn't he, though? And is Sarah an honourary BESH? Kids are v cute.