30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

I'm ok Scorps. Wavering from feeling normal to fits of weeping, but figure that's ok for now.

Have decided that I've spent too much of the last few months comfort eating. Figure I might as well spend my next 3 months off losing some of the podge. Must start jogging again.

Muser - I fort that rather more plumptious wimminz are more likely to win a baybee. to that extent I think you owe it to yourself and to me, your squidgy-armed BESH companion, to head to M&S for some Percy Pigs forthwith.

Not scentifically proven of course but fuck that, this brie and grape sandwich ain't gonna eat itself.

Meanwhile for entertaining purposes, here is Unintentionally Hilarious OP Of The Week

There's more plumptious and there's "oh fuck, none of my clothes fit anymore". I just want my wardrobe back. Have no desire to be a size 8. But would like to be a proper 12/14 again.

Ha! The last time I was a size 12 I was 12 years old .

Know what you mean though. I have a darling size 14/16 dress I sewed meself last year: put it on for a party last week, had an experimental boogie in the living room, and bust the armhole. I've been living on minestrone and blueberries since (you're talking to a woman of notably statuesque proportions; and by statue I mean one of those goddesses with immense thighs they occasionally dig out of the North African desert).

In all seriousness though: be good to yourself, won't you? God knows you deserve Treats and Good Things, if you see worra mean...

I think she's got a point, tbh, Headthebaw, some of the acronyms are unbearably twee and unnecessary. And also impenetrable to newbies (maybe that is the point!)

M'dear - yar, I did see what she meant - only the poor wee innocent thing had no idea what monster she'd unleashed. I was laughing at first but by the end of the fred she was being set upon by a braying pack of Boden-clad yummy-mummies (ie mocking her for feeding her child sausages, when the poor child honestly was trying to be a good Ma).

ah yes, I see the issue now; it really doesn't help when she litters her posts with spelling errors.

how do people read her profile, if her name hasn't got an underline?

Mmmm, sausages.

I think she must have got terribly embarrassed and withdrawn it. I read it while it was still up: very, very earnest, god bless her. I rather got the impression she'd had a tough, ramshackle life and was absolutely determined her DC (phnar) would have order and Proper Food. Only it unfortunately mixed pomposity with illiteracy, which is an incandescent combination! Poor lass. She didn't deserve the flaming she got. Young people ARE awful. It's just one of those things.

Just touching base with the crappiest wireless connection ever from darkest Slovenia, where I am on me travels for work. Really sorry to hear the news wasn't good HCS - that's really shit. I am not quite as eloquent with the creative swear words as some of the more articulate beshes on here - but entirely agree with the sentiments.

Muser I'm trying to sort of get back to jogging as well. My former running buddy has deserted me (she got diffed, naturally) but I will go it alone! Do you have good shoes? I have just invested in a new pair and am amazed at the difference it made. Those jet propulsion rockets on the heels are just the bizz.

Evening all. Have just got back from MIL's. No droid as yet (no spotting either) but my enormous and sore comedy norks deflated over night and I now have crampy wanderings on my wombledon, so short bleepy bastard is due by tomorrow morning. FFS. That is 2 months on a 22 day cycle - I wasn't expecting massive improvements after only 6 wks on TCM, but I definitely wasn't expecting my cycle to shorten. Fucking cunting arseholes.

Any way, FiggyWiggy sorry about your droidness. And BTW what breed is your puppy? Am intrigued to know what kind of pup grows to 5 stone at 8 months!

PerfectHumps yes I did indeed buy my supplements online. I am taking spirulina and wheatgrass to help lower FSH. Might be worth trying DHEA too? Last June my FSH was 28.2, and my last reading just after christmas was 12.9. I do believe it is down to the supplements and the acupuncture. Just need to get it under 12 to win the Clomid. I've heard that reducing salt intake and cutting out coffee also helps so I'm doing that now too. I WILL win my baybee.

Scorps I hope you get to the docs on Tues - its crap if you wind yourself up to do something and then it cannot happen. Fingers crossed for you.

Open the pit Humpy, I a-comin' in

Don't worry Hawaii, I need the floor to knock me out. You naughty minx, put down that whip and pass me that bottle of ethenol. And then pick up that whip again.

Humpy forgot about Royal Jelly for lowering FSH... gonna get me some of that next pay day.

And who's your dealer? Who's gonna hook me up?

Scorps I am popping these at the moment www.probiotics4infanthealth.com/index.html which apparently help prevent baybee developing allergy ishoos while still giving the vitamins needed while TTC and once updiffed.

Humpy my chinese medicine book also says L-Carnitine, but that is after doing the questionnaire in the book to find out where my problems are. If you are having an amazon shopping trip get The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. Tis really good, v informative and gives lots of self-help advice on drugs, diets, acupressure massage points and stuff like that - there is a lot you can do yourself (and for free - always a bonus!) if you know which points to rub (fnar fnar). Yeah, its getting there (the FSH) - still have to sort the LP problem out though, bah.

I get my wheatgrass capsules on ebay ...
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180382627307

Spirulina from Auravita.com, DHEA from powerbody.co.uk (they call it 7keto I think but tis same thing. Royal Jelly and L Carnitine from healthydirect.com. That should get you started Humpy.

In fact laydeez - if you want pretty much any supplements, try healthydirect or justvitamins first, as they are good quality, cheap and don't charge postage. You heard it here first my lovers. (and Scorps they don't fill their tablets with stuff wot we cannot eat, hoorah!)

I'm off to raid the fridge for my valentines booja booja's....

L-carnitine is also good for helping lose weight. I used to take it, haven't done for a while. Think I shall start doing do again. I always got the Holland & Barrett ones, as they work for me. Bought ginseng yesterday but then discovered that Maca is a form of ginseng. Durrrr!

Thanks Cokie for that heads-up on the allergy thingummies. Really useful, top stuff. Poo, did you check out that link too, my allergy-sistah? Shall check out health direct too. I really like Higher Nature (also free P&P), but they don't have everything a ttc-freak might need (otherwise known as a baybeeeeeeeeeeee).

Am now taking - apart from Folic Acid of course - B6, agnus castus, eve primrose oil, the multi vit and will soon be downing L Carnitine, Maca and DHEA (should take that to help my adrenals, anyway). But will there be any room left in my body for teh baybee?!

I can heartily recommend 'The Infertility Cure' (is even better when it's a pressie from a wonderful, lovely, thoughtful BESH pal, who knows just what you need ). It's certainly made me feel back in control of my own body and slightly less menkul. Have also been recommended 'The Fertility Plan', by Jill Blakeway & Sami S Davis. You can also do a questionnaire and check out your TCM fertility type with some basic helpful suggestions at the website: thefertilityplan.com/ Mine was 'Tired' and 'Stuck', which made perfect sense and tallied with what I'd worked out from t'other books I've read (basically, am knackered all the time and have LPD).

I hope people don't scoff at all this 'alternative' stuff we're sharing - frankly, if there was enough evidence that leaving a wooden spoon under the bed did help updiff, I'd be whittling my own right now

Woo for the woo. Husband did make a good point yesterday when I was saying, well, it can't hurt, of mentioning the fact that if caffeine, smoking and alcohol can hurt fertility then other substances also might. Then I read this Ben Goldacre column and slightly freaked myself out. I guess it's just a question of keeping everything in balance and not going too far down the TCM route and trusting my body to know what it needs.

Pols and Pettes Have posted shiz to you guys this morning...

Morning all

just wanted to pop in and tell scorpetta that i saw the movie of girl with dragon tattoo last night........ it is well wicked

beshy hugs all round

Morning. Yep Scropy I did check Cokies link, looks good, but I am already taking megadose probiotics (on top of everything else) from my allergy test lady. I do literally rattle when I walk.

Oh I wanna see that movie. Read an interview in sunday papers with the girl wot plays Lisbeth, was vey interesting.

Meant to report... no droidage as yet. Cramping gone. For now anyway. Just want my body to stop fucking with me - if I'm gonna bleed like a stuck pig, I'd actually just like to get on with it. Gar.

Good point Humpiness - you know your own body best and I do believe in 'everything in moderation'. I'm just rubbish at living by that standard, its all or nothing with me.

Morning BESHies. Just had a quick weekend catch up. Headbutts to all those who need / deserve them.

Question - how soon after you get updiffed do symptoms start? I'm on day 24 or sommat & we have SWI to Olympic standard this month, during what I guess is my eggylicious time. Last few days I've started feeling really nauseous, dull ache in the ovary area & funny taste in mouth. Have I completely swam into the Sea of Menkaldome, or dare I hope...................

We had friends over Sat night, the boyf & I had to pretend I was drinking vodka & I had to act a bit drunk. Think I'll be up for a BAFTA next year.

Meant to say, I look forward to receiving that PerfectHumps, thank you.