30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Unless there was arsecam eh Iggs?

did soemone say BUMSEX????!!!!!!!!!!

How are you poohead?

Hi iggers hope everything is going well for you and all of your pals in the Deli...it's been forever since we sent any new recruits over there after the big Christmas rush!

Chochalina mon amour! It's ok over there - but beg to differ - deli is filling up muchly with salander honeymoo witty and just now cokie

But i would like to see some more longtimers join us...

Yeah, well some of us are working towards getting more BESH stars over here (like in MacDonalds), so we're not really focussing on the Deli right now anyway, ackcherlee

Not really...we are SWI-ing like good'uns, but we have not forgotten that, without us, the Daily Mail will go out of business, so we need more new recruits to hand the palace over to before we move out...who will feed the boys if we go?

I think the boys are better left a little hungry anyway....

Glad you all SWI - BESH stars sounds like a budget karaoke contest of some kind.... so wrong...

I now haz GH theme tune in head

I have to warn you other BESHes that me and VAG have joint custody of Mitchell, so when I go, he goes with me. But I'd always be popping back and I'll bring him with me for anyone who wants a go on him. Don't say I'm not generous!

BESH stars... do we get these for performing on the BESH FACTOR?!

Gusset/Buzwam update: still normal.
Sanity Update: still menkul.

Scorpy-Mitchell-Me sandwich

If I hang onto Mitchell's ankles sobbing, what then?

Have just had strange text. Little W-, born this morning 10.13 weighing 5 lb 4. Mum and Dad over the moon, all doing well" (or words to that effect). I don't recognise the number and don't know anyone due in March. What do I do? Text back "Congrats but who are you?" What would you do?

Only me. I'm in disguise!

I fancied a change of name cos I got bored of the old one. I'll give you three guesses who I am.

Oh, is it that obvious?

Aries - I'd go for ignoring it, but then I do that with texts from anyone generally.

Scorps I'm starting to get just a little excited about your lack of mucky gusset. Will try to pull myself together so I don't encourage your menkul further .

You're Headbanger. Aren't you? Aren't you? Admit it.

Iggy I'm back How are the norks is the bump ?

Too much going on in here, can't keep up.

We are SWI at the mo, but am fascinated by gussetwatch

Oh yes. BUMSEX BUMSEZ BUMSEX! There you go Iggs.

Iz not me! I iz head in STUPID FUCKING BOOK!

Ignore it Aries. Anyone that genuinely uses the phrase 'over the moon', with no sense of ironing whatsoever, deserves to be ignored.

Ooh who is SocksandSandals? My vote goes to ......

CockDodger. Am I right? Do I win a prize?!

Where is Scorps? I am suffering withdrawal symptoms from gussetwatch.

no, def not cockdodger

PollyPocket You're right! You win a flash of Scorps' norks. She'll be along in a minute.

BTW, were you actually SWI when you wrote your last post? I have a picture of you keeping track of MN on a laptop while your fella labours away at the other end...

He must be really dedicated, bless him.

sorry to disappoint, Bessie

Sadly no.... he won't allow the laptop in the bedroom. I was on me iPhone innit.

Come along Scorpalina, get your baps out!

but you only just changed your name like 5 minutes ago. why are you changing it again? Stop trying to confuse us, I can't take it.

Sorry, but like Headsup I am in constant fear of being Found Out.

Iz awful, sockpuppet. I also entertain ghastly fantasies nightmares about becoming INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED and my MN transcripts being front page news.

Pardon me while I laugh so hard I bust several of these here ribs.

Have just found out who the text was from. Although slightly disappointed by the phrase "over the moon", I wish them well. It was actually some really good friends who'd changed their mob number and whose baby was 5 weeks early, hence the March/April confusion.

I'm delighted for them, no I am [watery sniffing ensues]

Am now contemplating changing own name due to Dodger/S&S-induced paranoia. No that would be silly...or shall I? Oh I don't know.

Gawd, I never realise how popular Gusset Watch and BuzwamCam would become! Despite having ominous-yet-incredibly-mild rumblings in my Wmbley Arena which are driving me into a state of constant low-level panic, gusset is clear as a whistle and norks are still only about 10% of usual luteal hurtiness. And by hurtiness, I mean agony so crippling that last month I found myself stumbling through a crowded shopping centre holding my breasts (for some reason, pressing them in tightly is the only thing that relieves some of the pain) and sobbing whilst other people stared at me like the loon I was, that's how bad the pain was (and usually is)

Am glad PooPooHead is pimping out my breasts now Less pimping, more SWIing, Missy There must be a good app you can get stuck into whilst he gets stuck into you

That conjures up images I wish I'd not created.

I too live in random fear of my witless utterings and baby-mania becoming public knowledge when I am an award-winning, best-selling literary sensation (stop laughing you gits) Menkulism is the only thing that keeps me sane, doncha know?

I actually have a funky necklace with 'Scorpette' on it, which predates my MN life (oh, was there ever such an innocent time?), as is nickname a few people use (okay, my plethora of other Scorpio friends, which inc. TYF).

But what news of the bastard rest on yers? As people might so classily say around these parts.

PS VAG - just let me make sure the cameras are off for our tryst There... now grab Mitchell and c'mere, baby

PPS Could someone please tell me that feeling a bit teary and sad-for-no-particular-reason is a clear sign of updiff and not PMT at all (I don't usually get mood probs)?

Clearly diffment, Scorp, duh!

Ocarina - more of the trying not to be mental, than actually trying not to let it happen. Hopefully this guarantees diffment! Though I didn't really fancy a Christmas baby.