30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

I was only joking, not really offended Not everything translates well when we can't read tone of voice.

Sometimes I think I'm been utterly hilarious in a truly dry and sarcastic way in a text or on FB, and then someone stops talking to me!

evening ladies.

Hello Beshes

I am glad I am not the only one that is gusset obesessed. I still keep checking mine to check if droid is still somewhere in foreign parts and just never caught up with me what with going on hols and all that but no, it seems I am still updiffed.

Medee I would go for taking a break, sods law you will get udiffed when taking a break, or book a holiday, this also guarantees updiffness. Muse glad today went fine and not a single arm stroke in sight.

Wasl in floods because of the dead lamb on Humble. Am now crying because of the brass band dying out in the place near Sheffield on Sue Perkins. What's the matter with me FFS?! Can I have a swig of the gin?

Get a grip Aries!!!

I LOVE SUE PERKINS I LOVE HER I LOVE HER.

I also love the dear little plump boy who wanted to be in the main band. In fact I love all of them. Hand me that euphonium.

Ps - Muse am so glad went well. You = trooper.

cocky - gah, that is hard stuff to take. It may only be a temporary wibble tho, if she has been OK with it up till now....48 hours hence she may well have stopped wibbling and be back to normal again...

mekulmaking menkulmaking.

duh, mekul is obv not a proper word like menkul is!!!

yeah, I hope so Headgirl. I'm sure she'll be fine in the end. Missis is going to have a chat with her - she's much more diplomatic than me.

Buzwams about 5% more tender than normal. Shall I set up a webcam so you can all check on them night and day? There'll be a fee...

Cockapoo, that's rubbish Feel free to kidnap whichever sleb/fictional character you want to wrong things to, to take down to the pit with you. If that's Sue Perkins, that'd be ideal, as we can all have a go on her. I HEART HER TOO! I really liked the 'Supersizers Go...' series too.

M'dear that is shit about Oz Truly, the words 'internal candidate' should be grounds for justifiable homicide.

Gusset Watch: still normal.

I can't remember who I said my lesbian crush was on my entry exam, but I think Sue might be my actual lesbian crush (as opposed to a straight woman I find attractive)

Mmmmm... Sue Perkins was my teenage crush when she was on that 'Mel and Sue' thingy. Step aside - me first, then you can all have a bit.

Magoo maybe Australia just wasn't meant to be and you were meant to make a cute ickle baybee on these here shores. Its pants, though. When people advertise these jobs, they should put a note on the advert saying something like 'Don't bother applying. We've already promised it to someone else but we're just showing willing by telling you about it.' Eejits.

Gasp! Is that the time?
Night, night everyone!

I am disappointed, but my other thought was, great, I can get on with baby-making without worrying about timing in a new job and moving to a new medical system.

Glad you got through today OK Muse, hope the project rights itself nicely for you.

That is most annoying of them Medee, but hopefully it'll be good from a baby point of view. Are you having a month off as in using contraception, or just having a non-menkul checking everything month?

Scorps can we have gussetcam as well as buzwamcam? Am impressed at your ability to measure tenderness by %. My buzwams are still sore, and I convinced myself I felt sick this morning but that was more to do with leaving it late for lunch. Not sure I'm really enough DPO to justify any symptoms so it's probably all in my head, although if it is I wish the soreness would go away - usual pre-droid soreness I only notice when I take my bra off, this keeps getting me when fully clothed. Nowhere near as bad as some people get, but worse than I usually do. Temps were v weird this morning too (low when TH got up, way high when I got up later but that probably doesn't count).

Anyway, tis bedtime methinks. Night all.

If you're impressed by my percentage buzwam-checking, you should see the Norks Gallery that a certain BESH took of her own cyclical breasticular changes...

We should put that down in the Pit with Sue Perkins for Dodgy. Hell, for all of us!

Am now singing 'buzwamcam' to the tune of WigWamBam. Hurtiness now hovering at 12%. I've been getting a teeny tiny bit excited about not getting usual symptoms but they're clearly just not kicking in as early as usual

Morning ladeez.

med sorry about the job, I hate the "internal candidate" bollox. But I'm glad that you kind of went forward, you'd have always wondered if it was a missed opportunity. Agree with taking a break = guaranteed diffedness.

muse I have a throne here for the BESHes to lift you high & carry you through the Palace. Well done for yesterday. If that one project is a step too far don't be a hero, tell someone you want out.

cock what a nightmare your donor partner. Any reason why she should change her mind now? Unfortunately you're in the wrong place for help as we all need all the jizz we can get ourselves!!

scorp ah lovely scorp you're the Queen on Menkal & you do make me laugh. I particularly liked your Gusset Watch update in the style of SpringWatch. What's the latest this morning?

Me? Well this month romance is totally out the window & I'm attacking the boyf with military precision (sp?). We SWI on Sun (CD 9), I told him he could have last night off, but he's back on duty tonight. In my defence I did wear some nice undies.....

Too bad about your friend's partner, Cocks. Do you know if anything caused her second thought? And how long has she been fine with it until now?

Sue Perkins should be knighted. (Thanks for the stiletto-clad toe grinding btw. it brought me sharply to my senses). Did anyone see that bizarre food series she was in with that hot young man? Not actually that good but she was very funny, if only for the costumes she wore. I thought that lovely boy was inspirational - fancy being so strong at his age. His mates will be laughing on the other side of their grotty little faces soon. I urge you to take up brass instruments immediately.

Good luck in second day of work Muser. It took me a while to readjust after I was off for three weeks once, so be nice to yourself. Unfortunately in my case, I had 22 11-year old boys who weren't prepared to do the same, dear of 'em.

Buzwams Scorops? Gusset? Any sign of Cwis yet? (No Kate because she's lambing). Unless you'd rather have Odie?

One misplaced asterisk and the whole thing falls apart.

Yo BESHies - just dropping in to check up on you all.

I will join the Sue Perkins love - espeshully after she introduced herself on light lunch as 'Sue Per-man' - which I love her for.

So - I'll just flash you all my tits and leave you to it. x

Gusset Watch, Day 8: Scorpette has been checking and all is normal, but she's getting a dullish sensation in the wombular area which usually signals approaching braahn betty. Naturally, she's simultaneously despairing that spotting will start and daydreaming that's it's implantation feelings. If we now go over to buzwamcam, we can see that her norks are less than 10% more ow-y than usual. Now she is... good God, we can't show that on BBC2, at any time of night!

Thanks Lorrydriver - I do try and ramp up my descriptions to give folk a larf. Is totally tears of a clown with me. Good luck with the enforced sexings later

Aries, that food series with Sue Perkins and Giles Coren was called 'The Supersizers Go... ' and was indeed the tops. I heart Perkins and find Coren mildly attractive and am a gannet, so it was my ideal programme!

How's everyone else this 'fine' morn?

scorpy my lover - how are you? I haz every fangre crossed for you for dis month.

Am deep in TWOOFL hell, IggyPlop (thanks for asking and crossing everything) - have you not subscribed to Gusset Watch or buzwamcam yet? I'll give you mates rates...

Of the two I think I would prefer buzwamcam.... I'm a tits kind of girl...