30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Imagine if you had been at work. Not nice.

Arse to all droidness. Glad you have holiday to distract you Twinks - sounds like an excellent setting for SWI, presuming the man in your life is there with you.

Really hope all goes well for your Dad Lyra, and hope you and your Mum find things to occupy yourselves when you need to - shopping?

Muser that sounds no fun at all, look after yourself. Does the bleeding mean everything's doing what it's supposed to and you're not likely to need more drugs? Or is it not that simple?

It should mean everything is doing what it ought to, thank god. I cannot do more drugs.

glad you are off work, Muser.

Lyra, huge hugs to you and your family. Am sure your Dad will be fine and I hope the surgery really helps him. It must be so grrr to miss prime SWIing time, but it'll be a stressful time, so maybe not such a prime opportunity after all (not that that's any particular help). Will be thinking of you all and sending your lovely Dad a huge virtual bag of grapes every day

Muser, am glad you're off work and taking it easy. Time for a spot of coccooning.

I hope your dad's surgery goes well Lyra. What a scary time.

Good place for some perspective, this thread at present. ItÂ?s sad to hear of people going through some tough times. Lyra you are great to be there for your parents. It is such a nightmare to go through this. Thinking of you and your dad. Shame about missing the SWI time Â? I donÂ?t know how regular your cycles are, but maybe it might still be possible to get a window of opportunity before or after? Muser itÂ?s good the drugs are working at least. Rest-up and put work out of your mind.

Well, I worked myself up into a complete state yesterday and ended up leaving work a bit early with a splitting headache (genuinely, I think itÂ?s caffeine withdrawal). I then went on a sort of peestick spending frenzy and bought three and peed on two. Well, um, the lines are still faint (maybe not surprising as they are not early tests, but first day of missed period tests and I am only 12dpo now?) but definitely there.

Anyway, boyfy came back from his travels and was fab. He was tired and cross after the journey and there didnÂ?t seem to be any good way to spring the madness on him. But I did in the end, and he was just so delighted. He kindly reviewed the sticks and assured me he could see the lines. We then had a quick chat about the folly of testing early, the sadly very real possibility of a CP or other problem and agreed we would test again later in the week and at the weekend, and that at that point, if no droid and all well, would cautiously start to be a bit excited.

So now IÂ?m very scared that the droid will arrive on target on Thursday, but really hoping this might work out.

PS - sorry for the crazed apostrophes - something to do with copying and pasting...

lyra I wish your dad well, & also thoughts to you & your mum. Bear hug squeezes all round (just in case that doesn't sound very BESH like I'll break your ribs in the process).

Australia, exotic hols - sound just thing! How exciting!

muse glad things seem to be on the right track, just sorry you're on this track at all. Also glad you were sensible enough to take the week off.

Now, where are these men of which you speak that are coming to lick the cream & sprinkles off me?

x-posts.

witty if you're going to be cautious about your excitement then I'll go menkal & start the nekkid dancing (nekkid about from the cream dripping down my cleavage waiting for those men).

Seriously, fingers crossed for ya!

Laurie you have taken the naked dancing to a new level and I salute you for it. You saucy thing. But I can't believe in anything until at least after droid date... So hold the cream and sprinkes 'til the weekend and hopefully I'll hop into the pit for a spot of nekkid wrestling. Yah love it!

lolly I have had the men delivered overnight. I will leave them to your imagination - so much more effective that way, I find But I will add that they have firm thighs and VERY efficient tongues...

muse glad things seem to be on the right track. rest up so you can hit the real world running when the time comes to return.

witty - see my reponse in the deli.

Happy Tuesday all - may it be better than Monday, which was shit for me. I had an upcoming day's leave cancelled at short notice (long story) and got a nasty fright driving home last night thanks to a cunt overtaking on a corner an very narrowly missing me on the way back in. one of those experiences that doesn't hit you till a wee while later when you suddenly find yourself crying... wuss that I am. And I have a sore throat and cough. Bah.

I realise these are trivial compared with BESH struggles. And it's a new, sunny day now...

kung-fu kicks to the arses all round.

Switty My first BFP was an early test and I wasn't sure so I took a photo and posted it here for BESH approval. BESHes said yes. Second BFP I tested a few days late (nerves of steel/denial?) and the line came up before I'd finished my pee... opposite ends of the spectrum. Dare you get the CBD stick of mirth? "Niet Zwanger, heel grappig trut!"

Actually the pharmacist did force one of those digital things on me, assuring me it was the latest thing. I am terrified of it and have put it aside until several days have passed.

Thanks all for the BESH love, it is very very much appreciated .

Today is CD14, we managed to SWI on 12 and 13, so at least we've given it a go. However, my cycle is all over the fucking shop and don't I feel particularly FFJ, so it's a very long shot.

I will check in when I can over the next few days, please keep sending good vibes my way!

PS I think witty is up the pole

Hello beshies

Muser very pleased that stuff is functioning as it should. Stuff yourself with minstrels, it won't be too long now...

Twitty you can't get a false positive - don't you know nuffink? I also peed on about 14 sticks in the first 3 days (and still doing it now if I'm being totally honest with you), so whip your waps out and get nekkid dancing.

It seems that spring is finally here, so I've brought you all a mojito with extra rum to celebrate.

Lyra I suspect jailbait had slow swimmers or I had an impenetrable fallopian tube because both times I conceived our SWI had been done days before FFJ/predicted OV. I hope things go well with your dad next week. x

Lyra, you can be my Ov-Twin (as well as my Birthday Twin )! Today is D15 and am Oving today or did so last night. Have also got some well-timed (and most enjoyable, if I may say so) SWI in, so am feeling smug in that we've done everything we can do this month. I've not been been awash with FFJ either, but excellent foreplay and preseed (TMI ahoy!) put paid to that Will be sending massive luck 'n' health vibes to your feminine workings and your Papa all day, every day

TwittT-woo (did that work?) - YAY! A faint line is a line is a line

Can't nekkid dance, however - am about to Drag King myself like a good 'un and nip down to the Pit to get me some creamy Laurie action. "I've come to mend your pipes". "Yes, I needs a good seeing-to". That sort of thing

I'm even worse than this in RL, you know...

Lyra - hope all goes VERY well with your Dad.

Sorry Lyra only just read back... hope your dad recovers nice and quickly.

Scorps I know I don't exactly represent a large statistical sample, but I reckon that preseed stuff is ace. We used it once - i.e. when we managed to get a baybee stuck last month, so am very recommending of the stuff even if it does make you feel like you've injected yourself with ectoplasm. Every little helps as the nice people from Tesco tell us.

Honey, yep, it does make you feel like you've been molested by Slimer from Ghostbusters but is a godsend (as an Atheist, I wish there was a better word for that!).

lyra just saw about your dad, wanted you to know I am thinking of you. Mum had to have masectomy a couple of years ago, it is so worrying and 'grown up' in a horrible way. However try and hang on to the fact that this treatment will help him get better... [patronising twat emoticon] Make sure you look after each other, we're all thinking of you tons.

muse you poor love. Its good that the drugs are working, but its horrible you have to go through more shit. Smooches to you.

lorry bollocks to droid.

diffeders I am losing count as I am not here much at the mo, but congrats to any who have got positives! General whoops and a bit of nekkid dancing...

News from the ginhouse... I am SO worried about the small one. He has been throwing up really violently every night since friday. No real pattern to it, not having the shits, eating virtually nothing, very poorly boy. Not throwing up in the day. Have seen doc but am still terrified its something serious. Am at work today and have just started crying at my desk as I'm so frightened... this is stupid I know. Kids get ill. I just don't understand what is happening to him, and the doc isn't sure (tho he seems to have ruled some stuff out and thinks it is a virus - probably- in which case it should pass soon.)

obviously it's hard to think straight when you haven't slept at all, we have been stripping sheets and calming him at all hours and then he has been sleeping with us but he is in pain and scared so thrashes about lots... so of course I don't sleep.

sorry for the me me me. am a bit today.

lyra am obv aware that your dad is not having a mastectomy. am extremely sleep deprived and I am not sure my post to you made any sense. hopefully you deciphered it! Big love to ya x

ginhag poor Mani. Have you taken him to the hospital or the GP? Is he usually a sicky toddler? I mean - does he tend to have a sensitive tummy? I don't know what to say to help but you're looking after him well, he'll be ok because you're doing everything you can. 4 days is a long time for violent throwing up though, I think (only from past experience of trusting docs who in the end nearly killed my dd) I would be going to A&E, to be sure.

I hope the small one is better soon ginhag, not knowing what's causing it must be so worrying. Fingers crossed he's bouncey and happy again soon.