30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

We could, but in THEORY they are not discriminating this time because, if we were a heterosexual couple using a sperm donor because I was shooting blanks, they could refuse fertility drugs because we had a private arrangement with a donor, rather than having an anonymous one through the HFEA. Its only discriminatory from the point of view that we would get treatment if one of us was in a relationship with our donor. Or summink.....

So its a grey area legally and it would take a lot of effort to get the drugs, which might not work anyway.

I'd rather take the less-stressful route, erm... whatever that is....

Enough about me. Anyone wanna share this bottl'a 20/20 wiv me?

What flavour 20/20? Something suitably dayglo I hope?

Used to drink that by the litre when I was a teen. We had to drink it very quickly as it was only the last 2 inches that got us drunk. Yes. That's teen logic right there.

Yep. There's nothing like hanging around in a park, in the dark and cold, but knowing you are the coolest person in the world because you are drinking 20/20 AND smoking at the same time.

Check me out!!

Buon giorno, BESHios!

Here..., I brought y'all back some Barolo, Nebbiolo, Gavi, Barbaresco, Aglianico, Brunello di Montalcino, Vin Santo, Trebbiano, some Amaretto, some Amaretti biscuits, some biscotti, some ice cream, some tiramisu, some panna cotta
and a nice Chinati (FFff-fff-fff-ff-ffaaa)!!!

Now don't say I never get you anything! I had a FABulous time abroad, dontchaknow!

What's with the namechange PracticallyperfectineverywaylikeMaryPoppins? I see that you might be lurking around near Barts in the near future...that's my local haunt of choice, so if you ever see anyone throwing empty coffee cups at the telly when Jeremy Kyle is on the telly...that's probably me...

By the way - just about to post a fred asking about whether stickiness of jizz is bad fer conception...and I refuse to use the phrase tmi, so please come along and give vivid descriptions of your fella's semen...

Bad Cho using words such as "jizz". You have been lectured.

bring it on Abuser!

Anyway...how are you...

oops Muser...just spotted that...crude, Moi??!

Jizz jizz jizzzzzz!

It's a great word.

I am ok. Got hospital appointment on Wednesday to see if the drucks are working. Fingers crossed from everyone that they are and that no operation will be needed.

I have been watching endless episodes of ER. Endless. I kind of want to go back to work now because I'm a bit bored. But I don't want to go back to work because I have a feeling that any "problems" that come to me will not be dealt with well. "Oh noes, this questionnaire has an error". "Fuck off. I am BARREN".

Does it count as barren if you get diffed but no progression? Mebbes I need a new word.

Right, more ER or shall I give in and watch Confessions of a Shopaholic, which is bound to be complete mind melting drivel?

On the bright side, my flat smells lovely. In-laws sent a mahoosive bunch of flowers. They're a great lot.

Choetta Hello! Barts & IVF? You have a start date

Hope everything goes well (bizarre turn of phrase, under the circs, I know)on Wednesday, and that you don't need any interfering with.

'Barren'? Hmmm, not too sure about whether that is your official title at the moment, but the alternatives sound equally bitter... I think that only you can come up with an alternative on that one

I've just mailed Barts to ask them to send me the detailed results of all of our blood tests etc ref. m/c and IF etc., so them I can scrutinise them (as clearly my opinions...scientifically cobbled together from websites, wiki and friends' anecdotes, will be more accurate than those so-called 'consultants' and 'doctors' down at that there hospital!)

Hi Camilla,

no start date yet...I have only been mailing them for a week to get an answer! I will be in high fucking dudgeon if they stick me at the back of the waiting list, so expect foot-stamping and righteous indignation if they give me any of that shiz!

Shirley you don't have a start date yet Cams? that sounds a bit organised of them...what's your history ref. BESHie-ness? (I know it's a bit like a 'bus' thread, but I can't fucking keep up with us lot and our babyfails/angelbaybees/ and people in shitty situations like Muser...it's like we all meld into one gnashing gibbering howling multi-fanjoed vortex [can't find right emoticon])

I think I shall resist the B word for now. I am convinced it's going to be third time lucky.

No official start date, but there's a four-month waiting list, so we should be up by May/June. We went for appointments last week and were told that we're pretty much entirely broken, so the only option for us is ISCI. Thankfully, Tower Hamlets gives you three goes at that.

Ooh, I want my detailed results as well. Am currently unbelievably freaked by an FSH which went from 9.6 in October to 13 in December. I'm going to be in menopause by the time I get to ISCI.

Cho, someone considers your use of the word "jizz" crude? That's it, I am never venturing outside the Palace again (except to sneak into the Deli for some nom noms).

PS, I have missed four days of thread which equates to 10 pages. Bit daunting. I can never go on a 2 week holiday again.

I agree, busy weekend and now I've no idea what's going on.

Can someone bash some sense into me and make me realise that the day after droid has gone is not the time to be 2WOOFLing. I'm tired because of lack of sleep, and feel not right cos I've got a cold. My logical brain knows that but the menkul bit keeps thinking otherwise. Tis not good.

Thanks to Polly and her knowledge of all such things I now have various supplementy things to try and convince my body that a longer luteal phase would be helpful. Have even been remembering to take them!

Hi,

Yes, I am crude, although I thought it was a bit rude to say so, like I am a naughty girl, but not to worry, at least there was a response to my post (even if it did imply it would not have occurred to me to get investigated after all this time)

Check you, Cho, gettin' jizzy wid it Seriously, if you can't say 'jizz' when you're in ttc hell, when can you? Am loving the image of a multi-fanjoed vortex - d'you think this is what our partners see when we demand sweet monkey lovin' every Ov?

I dunno wtf is going on with my body - is only CD7 and am feeling sick, have post-ov breast pain and gripings like mittelschmerz And no, I am not diffed. 'Speshly not after the clot tsunami of last week. Because I have so much spotting before droid proper decides to make his appearance, what if it technically started earlier than I estimated and I'm going to Ov soon? Arrrgh!

Also dunno what to do about colposcopy tomorrow - they ring this morning and said they would be able to to do burning/scraping, if it's required, but I can still do it next month if I don't feel up to it. Am torn between wanting to get anything over and done with, as the cervical erosion might be hindering sperm-sucking-up-ness at the crucial moment and waiting till next month, as will be ovulating around Easter, when TYF will be away in Devon (I can't handle 3 trips there a year, esp. as his Gran - more Catholic than the Pope - apparently goes BabyJebusMental at Easter and all conversations are about His sacrifice, blahdeblah). Can't do a rudeness for at least a month after treatment, you see. But knowing my luck, will ov just before he goes away or summat. Also, I was conceived at the end of Feb 1972 and can't help wondering that as I'll be Oving at the end of Feb, this might be a lucky time for me (not even pretending to be sane anymore).

Halp! BESHes, WWYD? Get the horribleness over and done with, or wait until next month, when the timing for ttc will be all wrong anyway?

I think I'd go for getting any horribleness over and done with, because then you don't spend the next month pondering what is to come. But people who've actually experienced such things will no doubt have more knowledgeable advice.

personally I would do it now anyway, scorps, because you don't want them faffing with your foof in a month - when you could be diffed. (they might not do it if you are).

But you do seem to have talked yourself into the opposite, and have to do what you are happy with. Ref ov'ing earlier - just keep on shagging if you can

A little ray of light - and finally some joy out of NHS incompetence - Skater is still diffed after all, and four weeks further along than she thought. a-mazing. Had to share because I know a few of you popped over to the PESH side to send her hugs and love last week.

just realised that didn't make sense, because it you do it tommoz you can't SWI. Still, get the horriblesess over and done with. With any luck, you won't need scrapage. And it's good to have your man around at these times. I'm always a sobbing wreck after such appointments, just from the vulnerability.

can anyone convince me that two cracking chin spots accompanied by lower abdominal twinging is anything other than impending droid?

Scorps - I say get it over and done with. Stop fannying around and get it out of the way.

My colposcopy was fine - just a bit achey after. It was made all the more amusing by having students in the room and my cervix displayed on a big telly screen for all to see.

...But, of course, yours will be a much simpler affair.

Now get a grip.

I third the get it over and done with Scorps. Got to be better to have someone to bring you cups of tea afterwards.

Medee Diffed symptoms very like droid. Do not give up hope.

And that's fabulous news about Skater, hooray for a happy ending at last.

Here you go, chick, this should sort you out.

I'm now off to the theatre to get a bit of culcha. Have promised mrs that I won't ask her what's going on all the way through. It'll be quite a task.

Laters