30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

It's not the colposcopy that's worrying me, cos that's only some medic shoving their face up to your hoohaa for a magnified look, it's the terrifying treatment I might need for cervical erosion that's freaking me out. In the letter they sent me, it said that even with anaesthetic, women find it v painful and there'll be all sorts of freaky discharge and my Tunnel of Love must remained closed to the public for 4-8 weeks. SoapDodger, did you have to have burning/scraping and a sex ban, or was yours just the looking-inside sort?
Gasper, they said that as it's 'only' cervical erosion, it'd be fine to leave treatment till after birth, if I got updiffed.

BTW, 'thanks' for mentioning students, Dodgeball. That makes me feel less nervous The spotty oiks can fuck right off if they think a single one of them is getting a glimpse of my holiest of holies.

I also have no interest in seeing my cervix. Or anyone else's. Mum will be taking me and will chillax at parents' for a few hours before going home alone like the bwave soldier I am not. She'll not be coming in with me for the procedure, mind.

Re: SWI - have been finding sex uncomfortable of late, and think this is another reason why I should just get it done, as think it's the erosion that's causing the ouch.

BTW, why won't my Drs check me out for endometriosis? It's only been @ 20+ years of asking them to check, due to severe menstrual pain all concentrated in one precise spot on the left, IBS and uncomfortable sex, and more, after all (disclaimer: not nec. that many years of sex). Grrr

Huzzah for Skater! When's she going to pop in here for old times' sake?

scorps I had cells removed and yes, it's a bit sore and not very comfortable afterwards, so sex is definitely not wise. Nonethelss, it's ok if you know what to expect - so ask plenty of questions about what you should experience afterwards (rather than end up wailing to NHS 24 like I did)

If the treatment is non-urgent, then maybe you should just go for the shagging this month and hope that you will be returning to the colposcopy chair after the birth. (I have the joys of smears and tooth fillings awaiting me).
But if you don't get a baby-win, which I hope you will, you really should go and not put it off again.

Is erosion likely to be affecting your chances? If yes, I say do it tomorrow. If not certain, go with the "lucky month", and then get it sorted.

no idea why they won't test.

And medee it just could be...

Hello gorgeous women of BESH

Yup my GP told me I had miscarried as I was bleeding like mad... went for a scan on Friday and they found a heartbeat!

I am semi-ashamed for spending 2 days in mourning when so many women on MN have had it for real. But also fucking glad the mini skater is okay.

We shall call it LAzarus.

So how is the bonking going?

You shouldn't be ashamed, but your GP bloody well should be!

Hooray, skater, that's great news and very seasonal!

Scorps Just go and get it over with - you're all braced for it now. they might not need to do anything, you know. I was convinced they'd be wielding the hooha cheesewire on me and although the man with the fanj-camera (am I getting too technical here) spotted a few abnormal cells, by the time I had my next smear they'd sorted themselves out.

I smell diffed-ness all over the place this week, looking at no one in particular...

Hey skate!!!!

You have lured me out of Can't Be Arsed To Post-Land.

I am so utterly incredibly pleeeeaaaased for you. And of course you were miserable for those 2 days you had no idea that it could possibly be alright! how's skaterboy? very I imagine...

Thanks for bringing a grin to the face of a grouchy old besh. Muchas smooches to ya.

And lazarus is ace name

Hey gin!

SkaterBoy was happy about the pregnancy but when we thought we lost it he realised how much he really wanted it and now he is over the moon.

Smooches back!

Yeah they do that those menfolk. Am really so fucking happy for you both. Know how it feels to lose a pregnancy and it must've been just mind-blowing to have been sure it was over and then be told it's ok! I think my head would've exploded!

everyone else sorry am crap at the mo. Officially have Nothing To Say.

great news skater, and I am with the others, scorps - get it over with.

thanks for the diamond white and brow-soothing; I shall keep the faith and keep knicker checking.

Don't worry, gin, we still loves ya

Skater, soooooooooooo glad everything is good. Is not stupid to start mourning when idiot GP tells you it's game over; is perfectly normal. Now let's hope the rest of the diff is problem-free. And it's nice to know how much it means to Mr Skate, huh?

Am now worried about pain if have treatment tomorrow. I can handle pain after something's been done, but not during - it's the shock element that causes me to make a wailing fool of myself. Would prefer to have treatment after pg, on grounds that it'll be a drop in the ocean compared to the humiliation and pain of birth. Could someone please knock me out so I stop googling things like 'does having a polyp removed hurt' and so on

Always looking on the bright side, that's me

Skater that is such good news, hope everything goes smoothly from here on.

Yey skater I'm so pleased for you & Mr Skater. Change GP's though - what a total arsewipe.

gin as long as your lurking luvver that's fine. Hope you're OK.

scorp I'd get any nastiness over & done with if I were you. As for pain - I think they warn you for worst case scenario. They warned me re pain for HSG. When they finished I actually asked if that was it! Close your eyes. I'm a great believer if you can't see what's happening, then it ain't happening. Tis how I plan to get through labour (should I ever get there).

Scorp - Yup. Did have the burning thingy too (cauterisation?) for dodgy cells. Got my medal too!

All I felt was a bit of tugging. It really was fine, and you will be too!

Skater - just wanted to say congrats on everything being ok with Lazarus. I can't imagine what you've been through. Here's to an easy diff for ya!

Now, I've been far too nice to you lot, so I'm off to another room to sprinkle baby-dust and stroke hair....

Hi Skater I'm a newbie ...Just wanted to say I think that's the loveliest thing ever. I am so happy for you. It is awful that your GP put you through that though. It's surprising that she made such an absolutely definite diagnosis over the phone. Bit irresponsible in fact. Anyway, hope the next few months will be plain sailing for you and baby Laz!

Scorps I am a total wuss when it comes to gynaecologist check-ups etc and work myself up into a state of panic beforehand. I have never had anything remotely painful done either. So, I hear ya! Don't worry if you can't hold it together. I bawled like a baby when I got my wisdom tooth (yes just the one) out a couple of years back. The nurses patted my arms and told me I was really brave! And then gave me the tooth... Flash back to being 8 years old!

I am half-heartedly symtom spotting. Bleeding gums anyone? Don't think it's really a possibility though. I ovulated at CD34, which apparently is all bad, in terms of egg being too old and lining being too old.

Skater is still updiffed! It's a BESH/PESH miracle! Hurray hurrah!

Sk8r That's extraordinarily incredible and I'm chuffed to buggery. Damned GP - sue for distress. But I'm so glad you're up to the armpits in baby-dust after all.

Scorpie I have no words of advice or bolstering or persuasion: it'd be beyond hypocrisy of me since I'm too terrified to even go back for a smear. However I always think the suspense is worse than the event.

In other 2WOOLF news: Been told twice I'm 'radiant.' And I'm sure we all know what that means.

witty sounds like you're brushing your teefs to hard! but nothing wrong with a little light gusset-checking now and then.

Radiant?! As in "glowing"? As in "pregant lady glow". Well, that sounds good enough to me. Off to invest in some luminescent face powder and possibly a torch.

As in, "This woman went on one bender too many last week and is attempting to conceal the damage with half a bottle of Benetint."

radiant = pissed and slightly scary (they're too afraid to say anything but)

Bleeding gums was my first symptom. And remains a very prominent one...

CU I am liking this theory (though I think head might be closer to the mark.)

scrope you really need to invest in 'Birth Skills' book, which will also come in handy when you hit pay dirt. However it is all about counteracting pain and pain management techniques and has lots of v useful info and shiz. Bin thinking about it in relation to your bad cramps cos I think it will really halp. It is my new friend - totally taking the fear of pain away for me. Which is just as well with rampant SPD...

That's fantastic news Skates...take it easy.

Good luck for today's treatment Scorps...I know you are dreading it, but remember - it might actually benefit you!

Well, today I am in high dudgeon indeed...my fucking clinic were supposed to book me in for a hysteroscopy (to scrape the teflon out of my womb?) in the middle of January (remember? probblee not...it was so fucking LONG AGO!!!), and I called the farking day surgery today...."Whence my cunting appointment?", only to be told the referral was only sent to them last Friday! GAAAH!

AND...they are just avoiding the topic whenever I ask for IVF dates....I imagine that if I was actually there in person to ask, they would just point out of the window and say "Look! A Moo-cow!", in a feeble attempt to distract me...

aaaaaahhh...that's better...can't rant to anyone at work, and don't want to save it up for the Boyf when I get home

My sticky jizz thread is upsetting some people...do you think I should self censor my thread title before MN runs out of smelling salts?

SSW buy yourself a softie toothbrush and go really easy with circular brushing. I they still bleed then perhaps treat yourself to a smidge more optimism

Cunty liking your birth skills book recommendation for the laydeez on 'One Born Every Minute'...they should employ someone like Anne Widdecombe to sit in the corner of the labour ward reading it out to them in a school marm-ish manner whilst they are wailing.