30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

ummm...

yo yo fuckin' yo and all that.

have been around, am having a bit of a shit time at the mo so haven't had a lot to say.

anyway. I'm half scottish so won't struggle with the 'loch' thing.

am not sure if I'm banned from the palace though as I say hon/honey, babe and darlin' on a regular basis. And anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my arse.

also ski sorry mate but the cunts are right, pregnancy is more like 10 months than 9.

can someone tell me something funny? could do with attempting to crack a smile.

gin ummm can't think of good joke... all I has is:

Why is a wonderbra like a border collie?

because it rounds them up and points them in the right direction..

I'll get my coat.

aaaaaaaaaaaargh - 40 years old and 23 stone www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1222044/23st-mothers-newborn-girl-taken-care-obesity-fears.html . So clearly obesity, and not just obesity but a dietary path as recommended by "Greggs" can still get you pregnant.

I've just found out another friend is pregnant, older than me, in fact, older than Scorpette - and she was a chain-smoking binge-drinker with a V low BMI. Stick that in yer pipe DM.

iggy Discard all your fitness equipment, when you are diffed you should sit on the sofa wrapped in cotton-wool eating organic nut-free hobnobs.

gin Please explain the 10 months thing to me.

ski its 40 weeks which is round about 10 months.

In my case it was 42 weeks...

it does always throw everyone tho. confused me when I got diffed.

Isn't waspy POASing today? Would you like us to put our special outfits on and do our ceremonial dance?

ginhag I'm not thrown, I just don't equate 40 weeks to 10 months, nor do I believe that most people announce their pregnancy on CD1 iyswim.

By the time you start telling people, absolute earliest is likely to be 4 weeks, which means you've 36 weeks left, which is, at least to me, NOT 9 months.

Anyone remember Roger Logic from Viz?

I have problems - maths is not one of them. 4 years of maths at uni, 1 maths lecture attended - and yet still I was called on to explain mathematical principles during engineering lectures!

Thanks for reminding me of my upcoming Birthday of Decrepitude, ski. That's set me up for the day

YAY, gin! You've been missed, girl

Ski - Roger Logic.... I knew you reminded me of someone!

ski your junior BESHes will be musical then - cos apparently good at maths parents = musical kids

FACT

Morning Hags. Today is a shit day, its official. The droid has caught me. Fucking bastard. And 5 days early too - wtf is that all about?

Also, turned up for my induction at new job today (only 3 eves a week at sainsburys - 10% staff discount and I get to spend all day with DD, yay). The cunts had only changed the days (it is now tomorrow and saturday) and didn't fucking tell me. I was sat in traffic for 40 mins, in torrential rain and dying for a piss, to arrive and then be shown the door. Not fucking impressed. I accepted HR manager's apology and made it out of the store before I collapsed into a sobbing hideous mess. It was the nail in the coffin of an already shit day.

I am still clutching at straws though.... keep thinking maybe its not a proper droid - its not heavy at all, not like usual. Still, I've got awful back and stomach ache, my tits have deflated over night and are no longer sore so I should just face facts that it ain't happening this month.

Hope the rest of you are having a better day than me. Any fancy a G&T? Not too early?

iggy possible, daddio's a mathematical genius and I played piano at concerts as a child. Jailbait's grandad is a pro jazz musician so we're quite musical.

polly NOooooooooooooooo! I'm not sure it's a real droid - did you pass Millets in the high street or something? When I was younger, so much younger than today, I got caught up in fluffed A-levels/recession and ended up destroying my soul by working for Tesco. They are cunts. They will treat you like a criminal and idiot. They once accused me of knicking 65 quid from a till. I was like "listen giwlfwend - there's over a grand in here - if I'm going to steal I'm going to make it worth my while". They don't get my Roger Logic either, pricks.

Have a G&T and start slicing cucumbers - partly for stress-relief and partly for rounds.

well I'm shit at maths.

but my lmp was in march, I had a baby in january, that to me is 10 months. You asked if they meant '10 months pg in total'

and I said yes.

any way am going back to having a shit time, will maybe pop by sometime soon.

cheers for the welcome scorp.. am escaping the iron maiden now tho...

PollyPooPoo noooo!!!! Cannot be, just CAN'T be... we'll have to wait and see how things pan out, until then I'm holding my breath.

I'm off to bed, see you lot (and your million messages) when I wakey.

Nice to see you back ginhag - 'ere you can have my drink, I barely touched it - still lots of tonic left.

Did not pass Millets, but did go in barn last night looking for dog crate but pacifically did NOT even LOOK at the tent. Just pretended it wasn't there.

Honestly, I am checking my pants every 10 mins, checking for flow etc, trying to convince myself its not real. So deluded

Just off to doctors for a -cry-- chat about where we go next. spect it will be the usual waste of time on account of the fact I already have a child

gin sorry you is feeling shit

Sorry things not too jolly in the lands of polly and gin. I'm going to line up tequila shots the entire length of the bar - see you at the other end, and hope you collapse in fits of giggles roars of laughter along the way.

*Feeling my Scottishness today Loch Beshies. we must be on our way to that new thread very soon...

Polly It may be deluded but I'm equally guilty. I'm usually able to convince myself for a few hours that it's just "spotting" or "implantation". By the time I need to line my gusset with a duvet and it's bright red I have to give in and accept reality. Stunning how much time we spend inspecting bog roll/gussets.

Waste of time and a chance to be patronised for being so old! Maybe your doctor will have a sex tip none of us have heard of before.

I wonder how scorpette got on last night with the foofoo/winkey adventure.

ski see her FB wall post last night...

well....i did POAS yesterday and and nuffink

The reason became clear when droid appeared And I was hoping it was implantation bleed etc but def not.......

I'll have some of those tequillas please...

sorry waspy. I'll fetch another bottle - there's just the worm left in the last one

Thanks CurlyCasp, I am feeling the need to get absolutely shitfaced.

Waspy sorry you got the bad news too. Fucking droids.

Doc was nice enough in her usual patronising manner. She didn't repeat her previous advice of 'just have loads of sex the week between your period and your ovulation' (thank fuck, or else I might have twatted her). She's referred me to the fertility clinic even though TG is refusing to participate in any medical tests/intervention.

She said that as we have a child already he the FC may not even ask TG to do a test, which obviously means its all MY fault. And then she came out with the classic, that the tests may not prove anything but at least it would put my mind at rest and I'd be able to relax more and then it would magically happen.

Right then, lets start on the tequila.

Polly sorry about the stupid doctor and droid, it is so disappointing...

I am keen to get shitfaced too, let's get started.

Oh polly, waspy I'm so sorry

Will someone please get diffed? We need some positive vibes in here

ski no, he just did it "for fun".

I just did post #1000. Isn't that the limit?