30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in mumsnet

[idealcamel]

The bar is open and the ticking clock has been muffled for the duration...Come on in!

Aerie, you big differ, it's OK to sad "ladies" as long as you say "laydeez" - but better by far to call us BESHes/BESHies.

Want to get a squiz at your ugly mug so going over to FB.

err that was say not sad. Doofus.

Polly got a pressie for you a nice frozen talapia
Bessie you should let Curly get past OV before asking her to POAS
Waspy just in case you still need it, I've been thinking of you too

Curly c'mere I'll give you a little hug oh, you're ringlets are just to cute to ignore, had to salt them up with some talapia juice. I'm telling you Beshies, it does work for me. I'm feeling much butter better now!

I'm all up for starting a booth at the fucking-fertility-madness-fair! I'll grab my black light, my black swaths of cloth and my magic 8-ball, ohh ohhh ohhh and must not forget my turban! OK, I'm all packed, when do we leave CurlyCuteness??? I'm planning on charging for my sage advice too.

My black lab (dog) will be arriving in 12 days and counting!!!

evening all!

Another black lab receiver thwack right back at ya Cuntshine!

Medee what's new? Worried about anything? Need a fish hurled your way too?

Curly don't worry, you can pet him!!!

Scorps I think EVERYONE is praying to the baybee Jebus for you get updiffed for some mega-2WOOLFing of previously unseen proportions

I can confirm that that it was letting my DH wiggle his peepee in my foofoo and NOT the hankyhole that got me updiffed.

Indeed as I seem to be the only differ (so far) this thread, I'll don my scientists hat (I do have a genuine PhD in a real scientific subject) and allow my bellow beshes a few hints on how I avoided the droid this month. 'twas a combination of positive and negative reinforcement.

1. I did it in the foofoo (giggles). Yes, really. Whooda thunk it?
2. I booked two long weekends of skiing with some friends for Jan/Feb
3. Whilst shopping in Costco I stocked up on mega boxes of Tampons
4. I ate a huge bowl of tabbouleh whilst 2WOOLFing. Was it Bessie who said that Parsley was fertility enhancing?
5. I didn't wear white knickers. I dunno about anyone else, but this has a similar effect on me as tents. Speaking of which..
6. When offered the chance to go wilderness camping whilst 11 DPO, I refused. Everyone knows about tents and the droid. I think that this was the most important point, apart from number 1 maybe.

So there you have you it. Aerie's very own SMEP.

Oh and I have huge thighs so pppllllllbbbbbb (raspberry noise) to that idea. I've also seen enough Take a Break and That's Life-type stories to support the hypothesis that the opposite is more likely. Thunderthighs and crap lifestyle in general = fecundity

Evening medee. Trying to catch up while doing a mortgage application in another window...

x-post - and not so exciting as aerie's words of wisdom. Though you had gone again, oh diffed one, did you find us on Facecrack??

HCS you can play with my curls anytime [catches Hawaii's arm as it reaches out and twists hard behind her back before yanking blondie's locks]

Right then you fuckers, I just ploughed my way through the whole bloody thread and you were all too busy welcoming newbies and fighting to even miss me.

That's it. I iz flouncing. Cunts, the lot of you. And I mean that in the most complementary sense of the word.

So news from me is that the new job is vv busy and also I have the most overlooked desk in the history of the universe (next to the kitchen) so I ain't going to be around much. Also facecrack banned at work. I am about to SWI for this month, have given up temping for a month or two as it was getting on my tits.

Curly I was in hiding due to the shock of it all I think

Also, I live in a different time zone (literally not figuratively) so by the time I get on the damn computer the conversations I want to chip in to are often over and everyone's onto something else.

I've sent friends requests to those I can identify by looking at everyone's friends. Now I've just got to try and figure out who is who

ooh looks like you have found me - I'll go and fetch you in to the secret group (if no one else is on to it)

flouncer that's shit about your access to the BESH palaces. Mind you, I get much more work done now that I share an office. Temping seriously annoying - it's that waking up on time/making sure you get enough sleep thing...

Cosmo, you know we were missing you. The grief was too deep and private for us to discuss amongst ourselves. And if you read the rest of this thread, you'll see plenty of 'Where's Cosmo?) Now, will you stop waggling those flouncy petticoats about? You nearly knocked my glasses off a minute ago

ShinyCunt, no talapia for me, eh? Hmmmph.

Aerie, when it actually happens, I am thinking of documenting my actual updiff symptoms. If I can't get it into Sundance then the British Board of Psychiatry will be fascinated.

PS I done it in my foofoo. Does I has a baybee in my tumtum now?

Crap innit, still I am quite liking having actual work. I'm sure the novelty will wear off though.

Freak.

I know you are, but what about me?

Evening chicks!

How's it going...seems there's a lot of 2woofl madness going on here.

I have been too busy at work to EVEN post!!! But after a crappy day at work, followed by cunting fucktard type behaviour from the boyf, I am now lolling about on a white wine fertilitykillerofdeath cloud...that's how I roll bitches! Waiting for TrueBlood to come on...looking forward to a bit of 'fang-banging'

Cosmo...it seems we haven't been introduced yet......so... how do you do?

Scorpette...implantation bleed? Ooh not so sure you have been relaxing enough for it to happen, are you sure it's not a shaving cut? Crossing all the fingers etc...when are you due to ride the white pony (and I don't mean any of these equine-fetishists around here!0

Well hello there ChochoSan. Do you come here often? Can I buy you a drink.

Oi Mitchell, bring us a couple of champagne cockails over here will you love?

Well if you insist...I don't er...normally drink, but hey, why not, you seem like a nice girl...

...absinthe chaser?

cosmo I gotsta respect you ditching the temping for a while...it is truly where mnadness lies - the most woowoo looney making pursuit one can follow...especially if it means you have to wake up at 6-30am at the WEEKEND!!!

Hello aerie, fellow updiffed-one. Totally agree with your advice about buying tampons in bulk.

I shouldn't really still be hanging around but scorps keeps me here on a leash as a warm up sex toy. Plus it's the only place I can drink gin. Plus I'm not really convinced I am actually updiffed, and won't be until I see the little blighter poppet on a fuzzy scan picture thing which won't happen for ages. I have no symptoms (unlike scorps who is 5 minutes pregnant and probably already has pre-eclampsia, SPD and stretch marks). Well, I say I have no symptoms but when I complain to MrP about that he says, 'Yes, you do: you haven't had a period and you keep complaining that you want to vomit.' But I worry that I just missed the period(

I do belive I will, thanks. I think we'll get along just fine ChoCho

Bollocks..., just got started and I gotta go..catch up soon hags!