Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Maybe ther should be a VascillatingWildly section of the list, with a SexForFunOnly TillDecember subsection. I still think a Venn diagram is what we need.

Anyway, have been whipped soundly by House MD and all is right with my world.

Pom-de-pom.

VAG does that whipped bit mean what I think it means? [horndog emoticon]

I can't wait for tonight! Too bad it's only 6am here!

FFS if I have to be with all of those unreasonable questions - at least they could make the one I'm looking for easy to FIND! fuck! I have no patience for stupid people. Check my personality profile from Myers Briggs.

HCR: does new season House premiere tonight? Does this mean the good tv is back? I knew Dollhouse was starting (speaking of which, I'm adding Joss Whedon to the male volunteers because he owns the funny AND the feminism) but House too? My cup - and my bittorrent- runneth over!

HawaiianCunt yep we felt it necessary to have medical opinions to turn to and installed Dr Cox (Scrubs) in an examining room over there and Dr House just behind me in a glass office. Look, camel is in there now with him....Get Off Him You Bitch He's Mine!!

Er...excuse me. Share and share alike.

Line 'em up Jon, mine's a double gin.

Drs should be good for something.

add me to the "a baby now please" as much as a reaction to the return to work after 2 weeks off!

RL drs aren't as much fun, tho. Less moody stomping, more needles.

It's Friday. Imaginative cocktail time, m'dears? I'll have an Aeroflot, ta. Cheap Russian champers, Tesco value vodka and down in one with no survivors...

Someone just gave me genuine hope what the hell am I supposed to do with that??? damn it!

I'm thinking I should drink until it passes, which booze digs a hole the fastest? Jager, please!

I want Dr Chase installed as my private physician. I fancied him guiltily when he was Billy Kennedy in Neighbours and have been sooo thankful I can perv at him legally in House for the last few years. The fact that he's a bit like TYF is also good. Mmmmm, I have some sort of... breast thing that needs immediate palpation. Dr!

PS Cuntshine - kip means sleep. And whipping just means... whipping. I presume.
PPS I think you have given me your headache

Camel, you are sick. And you look so fresh-faced and innocent () in your FB pics!

My RL doctor is a beautiful Spanish lesbian -she's firey. Not my type at all, but she better do her job damn well next month! (damnit, there's that hope again)

Give me another shot of Jager, please and make it snappy!

Off to get a small poke so I can get a bigger poke this evening.

There's an extra gin on the bar - you twats can wrestle for it - House, MD likes that sort of thing.

Evening baby-mad bints. Might I be added to the "you won't like me when I don't get a baby" list please?

Did Alton Towers on complete spur of the moment today. Hadn't been in 15 or so years. Great fun but there were too many cute children wandering off alone and begging to be stolen [flashes glimpse of adorable curly haired blonde girl under overly-large coat for this time of year]

On the wine tonight

HawaiianCunt Maybe it's a Nevada thing, but I believe kip means "meeting a prostitute".

Checking in. Three pints of Newcastle Brown please David. What? You only have fabulous French wines for 3 euros a bottle? Oh, OK then, hit me. How I suffer...

Can confirm:

• Eating loadsa pate and stinky cheeses
• No droid, but then I'm hardly camping (looks around luxury chalet and tries to conjour up some middle class embarassment... meh)
• Still perservering with the chart malarkey but as I didn't bring the book I'm not sure what it's telling me.
• Think I may have ov'd yesterday but can't confirm as the packet of POK tests I packed turned out to be PG tests instead. (Bloody cheap internet identical packaging rubbish. Mutter, mutter.)
• Have allayed my panic re thyroid disease, as I found some iodised salt in the cupboard here. Have been smothering everything with it. No longer worried about my thyroid but fear I may have developed a serious salt addiction.

Can I just point out again [yawn] that it is perfectly fucking possible to be utterly unsure about the whole idea of being a parent,be thoroughly enamoured with lie-ins and think that you may get bored/confused/be utterly rubbish at the whole thing and yet still have a kid??????

(and for some mental reason really want another despite fears that it may send ya sobbing for the hills?!)

just honestly, ya fuckers. It doesn't get easier, you don't get surer, you just produce a small person and then it's generally frowned upon to send them back

then after a year or so they become absolutely fucking brilliant fun and just actually worth all thelack of sleep (just about).

Honestly,at the mo I'm just about in tears every day that I'm having to work 3 days a week [pathetic emoticon]

That is am nearly in tears as missing my boy so much [sad twat emoticon] NOT just because I'm incredibly lazy.

Ah fuck the fuckin lot of yous.

Not that I'm embarassed or anything...

At least peep show is on...makes it a bit hard to get a drink in the palace tho,am going to venture behind the bar and nick all the posh champagne.

Nothing embarrassing about loving your child

Ahhh - champagne, stinky cheese, low coffee tables and cheap red wine... maybe I should move to eUrope

OR - I could just go to the store and then have a beach picnic...

decisions, decisions

Ah, but ginny, you speak words of wisdom. It is perfectly understandable that many of us are totally conflicted: desperate for a baby, but also completely confused about actually wanting to be a mummy. If you are like me, you spent the whole of your 20s and a fair chunk of your 30s developing a very effective defence mechanism against ever 'needing' to have kids, as a result of the seeming impossible task of ever finding a vaguely responsible man to have them with. Then you find yourself a lovely man/partner (by whatever means you may have employed, yes I am looking sternly at the cradle-raiders) and then you realise you can try to have kids. But now there's years of deprogramming needed.

I still don't feel like a mummy, and I run a mile from many of the traditional parenty things. My daughter will never have a pink buggy or clothing with the word 'Princess' any where on it! But I am a mummy, and from the results apparently a pretty good one. Don't really know how I managed that, but love and giggles seem to go a long way. All sorts of people are parents. There are many ways to muddle through it. Don't worry about it at this stage, as one way or another you will manage. And once you're updiffed you've got 9 months to get used to the idea.

You mean we actually have to deal with the child beyond pregnancy? [hastily eyes the emergency exit, with plans to minesweep all the drinks on the way out]

And scorp, I did spot that you claimed I was trying to have a baby at age 76. That is a complete lie and you know it. How dare you slander me. Everyone knows I am only 75.

Yeah but you'll probably by 76 by the time the sprog pops

Can someone please put the kip/prostitute thing into a sentence for me so I can see it in context?

Ahh my American chum, what joy we had with the Navy kids at school when it came to passing rubbers in the classroom and such like. I think the best was when my friend asked a boy to get off with her round the back of the school. His face was a picture.