Hi all,
Really sorry to hear about the test shenanigans, YTD - what a pain! I had all sorts of delays due to different surgeries, and even bits of the same surgery, not talking to each other, which was maddening enough, but this sounds a lot worse. But at least good news so far, which must be encouraging.
Of course I don't know exactly what's going on with your DH, HP, but he does sound uncannily like mine. Not that I have a clue how to deal with him/the situation. In fact I'm slightly dreading the meetings with the IVF people in 10 days' time, because I think it's going to prompt another big horrible discussion/argument and plenty of black looks (at best) and anger (at worst) from my DH. And I've been thinking about something confused said a little while ago about not forcing anyone into it that really doesn't want it. I don't think I can do that, either ethically or in terms of safeguarding our relationship, so the whole thing may be a non-starter after all this.
We're basically at the impasse at the moment where he's going along with it because he thinks I might go a bit mad (or at least be very unhappy) with regret and delayed longing for a baby in about 5 years' time (or some point when it's too late) and that he doesn't want to be responsible for that (or, to be fair, for me to go through that). He can't even contemplate regretting it himself - which isn't a great sign, obviously. (Though it doesn't mean he won't...) On the one hand I'm a bit insulted as he clearly thinks I might become quite unhinged (and I don't think I give him too much reason to think this?!) if I never have a baby; on the other, on my redder days, I think that maybe that is the reason I'm doing this - in case I really am grief-stricken for what never was down the line.
OK, I realize this sounds like a pretty disastrous starting point for the big commitment that is IVF. There is another side to things. I think we're both pretty engaged and fascinated around babies and kids - him too, if truth be told. He's interested, enthusiastic and very fond of his nieces (all six of them!) and nephew. I'm currently quite green in an unthinking sort of way, having spent the weekend with close friends and their adorable 7 week old baby (although he's a pretty easy baby sleepwise and still portable to restaurants and stuff so it's perhaps not entirely representative!).
ANYWAY, this was not supposed to be about me at all! How is your DH with kids, HP? Not that that is necessarily a good predictor of how they'd be with their own kids, but it gives me encouragement (perhaps disastrously) with mine, because being with kids does help my DH soften a tiny bit about the idea - though that is perhaps as we're lucky enough to know very nice kids on the whole. (And the fact that he's arrogant enoguh to think he'd be the perfect parent, and that his own would be impeccably behaved and disciplined!) I really hope things get a bit easier - I think if we women do really want it (and that's obviously the crux of the whole issue and this whole thread!!!) we just have to coax them (the men!) along and take responsibility for it at certain stages, which I resent and am sad about, but am kind of gritting my teeth about at the moment. It does seem psychologically harder for them (poor lambs ) , but I think they are usually ok when things are a reality. Who knows.
Anyway, sorry for this mammoth, rambling and inconsequential post! Really hope you had a lovely weekend, confused, and that the FIMO dogs were a huge hit - as they can't have failed to be. Am entirely unblessed with any artistic talent but am living vicariously through the talents of people on here - between your many projects and Suerock's cardigans!
All the very very best with the tests, YTD, and hope everyone else's week goes ok too. I'm meeting up some people who are at various stages of IVF treatment locally tomorrow evening (through Fertility Friends - thanks so much for putting me onto that, confused) so will let you know how that goes!
LSTx