Anyone out there who's recently MCd and back to TTC without waiting?

[helpet]

Hey everyone. I have a DS (18 months) and had first MC last week at only 5 and a half weeks. Have wondered whether to wait for AF but after obsessively reading most threads on the subject in MN - have decided to take the plunge and TTC just as soon as I can ... Anyone in a similar boat wanting to join this thread and spread the baby-dust? xxxx PS Am terrified it won't happen for months / it will happen and I'll be a compulsive knicker-checker

Hello, can I hope on this thread as well please?!
Had a medically managed miscarriage a week ago at 11 weeks, have finally stopped bleeding which feels like a big milestone. Now I'd just like a BFN so we can get going again.
Patience not my greatest virtue so although it's awful that we are on this thread at all it's good to have found you all here, just as impatient as I am!

Ha, I meant 'hop on' this thread but I guess there is a lot of hoping going on here too...

Hi everyone and great to see you again chamois . Stopping bleeding was a big milestone for me - such a relief to get rid of the daily reminder.

Good news re the BFN meita. Feels a bit funny writing that!. But like you I've read several threads where people have got a BFP soon after m/c and don't know whether it's good news or residual hormones.

Curious question - how is everyone feeling physically? I still seem to be a bit run down and just wondered if my body was still recovering (m/c was 2.5 weeks ago). Also I'm sticking to my diet but not loosing any weight at the moment - need to up the exercise but it's another frustration. I'm not good at being virtuous without the immediate reward

I know you ladies will understand but the bit I'm struggling with now is the lack of any immediate milestone. I'm hoping I will ovulate soon (would normally have done so by now) but there doesn't seem much else I can do at the moment to drive things forward. Have researched for England, drinking gratefruit juice like its going out of fashion, charting every day and doing OVK test every day. OK I'm very sad and impatient and it might not be wise to give me any more ideas!

Hi chamois, welcome on this our little "hopeful impatience" thread!

tfls well I'm about a week further along than you, MC was 3.5 weeks ago. I remember that last week I felt a bit winded, not in shape, unfit... but not really exhausted or anything, not physically. Now it's much the same, just with a bit of improvement - so, not totally fit and energetic, but not too bad at all. But then, my MC was very early, no medical treatment involved, so that might make it easier and quicker to recover from?

Re diet - you know you shouldn't diet when pg? Because, when you diet, your body releases toxins into the blood which were so far stored with all the fat, i.e. if you do get rid of any of that excess fat, you at the same time will be saddling yourself with free-flowing toxins - not good for little bean! Reason why I'm saying this is: If you focus on your diet NOW with the firm decision to stop dieting as soon as you get that BFP - now wouldn't that be an excellent, quite immediate reward? Good enough for me, anyway!

Grapefruit Juice etc.: What I'll try next cycle is raspberry leaf tea (infusion) for pre-ovulation, and lady's mantle for post-ovulation. Raspberry leaf is good for supporting ovulation, lady's mantle is good for LH. I was drinking "women's balance" by Yogi Teas, which also contains Raspberry leaf, last cycle when I got pg. Sure it can't hurt, and have hopes that it might help!

Today I'm struggling a bit, grief for the lost pregnancy and baby is still around and more up front right now, as there is nothing immediate I can do to distract me from it, apart from waiting... And there seems to be no-one around me who I can really talk to. DP has a very important deadline coming up in two weeks, and has asked me to take charge of stuff (like household chores etc.) so that he can concentrate on that deadline - but I feel like right now I'd like him to be there for me, rather than the other way round. I have some (minor) deadlines looming myself and it all just seems a bit too much sometimes. There are moments when I feel I'd just like to crash and fall to pieces and be held - but I guess I have to postpone that for now. Perhaps that's why I dread the anticipated BFN or AF that will probably show up in about 10 days. 'Cause that's when I just won't be able to keep up the pretense anymore. :-(

How are your DPs/DHs dealing with all this? Mine seems rather un-impressed.

On the positive side, there might - just maybe - be a little embryo implanting in my uterus right now. Who knows? There is always hope.

Meita think your dh is very normal - mine is quietly oblivios to any of the emotions I am feeling as to him the preganancy was so early it was not really real - h hadn't thought through the fact I was pregnant, and what that would mean - we hadn't even talked about the due date so to him it wasn't a big event because he is in the - well we will just try again and next time it will be fine - he doesn't count the days, worry about the 2ww, or mind so much when it happens so to him there is no pressure, no impatience and he struggles to understand mine so i just don't talk about it with him. I talk about it with you guys! You are the only people who can really relate to how I am feeling so thats the support for me.

tfls i have been struggling with the same whats my next milestone - and have focussed on diet and excercise as being good things I can do to get my body healthy and in shape and to lose a few more pounds before I pile them on again - I have also started wearing all my smallest clothes and bought a really fitted dress last week which I am wearing today which is my own effort to 'invoke sods law' that being that I won't fit in it for long (its not the wrap dress for the wedding). It is frustrating but I was driving myself nuts and at least this way I feel good because I look good and I know I won't look like this for long (I hope) and then it should be a long time until I am back in this sort of shape - took me 2 years with ds

keep chugging along ladies - it might be just round the next corner or somewhere on the horizon but its there ....

Hi there

Just m/c ed on Monday so this thread has been a beacon of light today. Thank you for all the positive stories. And I am definitely trying again soon!

littleonemum so sorry - i was exactly where you are now one week ago, my mc was last monday, its such a horrible feeling.

this is a really good place to find support and everyone here knows how you feel.

{{{{{ big hugs}}}}}

hello littleonemum. sorry to hear your news but maybe this thread will help?!

meita sorry to hear you feeling so down. it's a big thing to deal with and it would be nice sometimes to focus solely on your emotions and what's happpened and not have real life intruding on that. is there no one in rl you could just have a weep with to get rid of some of the emotion? for me i found that a big help, more so in a way than talking to dh because she was removed from it all to an extent? anyway we are always here to virtually hold your hand! my dh has been good but did say the other night that he wished he felt as sad as i do about it all. sound callous but it really wasn't meant like that. of course the woman is going to feel worse because it was our body and on a practical note we've got all the hormones floating around which really doesn't help!

tfls physically i felt pretty much back to normal other than being bit more tired probably by the end of last week. monday afternoon though felt really rough. was freezing cold and felt nauseous and achy and just pretty terrible! felt bit better yesterday at work although bit light headed and on a couple of occasions had to just stop what i was doing to take a deep breath and centre myself i guess. doing ok today though.

think i may have ovulated yesterday but wasn't in the right mood for bding. tired from work and dd very unsettled so had to keep going in to see her. will try tonight just on the offchance!

hope everyone's doing ok and thinking positive thoughts x

will be namechanging soon because monkeys etc is too long. waiting for inspiration for my new name though!!

Hi everyone,

drumming fingers on desk, waiting to ov like everyone else

fatlady, I agree with feeling rundown and tired. I think after the mc bleeding, the hormones start to drop and this is a downer. I am quite irritated and headachey and hope this is going to go away soon.

Thanks for the diet info meita. I had read about that - something to do with kerotins (spelling?) I think. That's partly why I want to loose weight now, the other part I suspect is a distraction activity (hence my annoyance at not being able to control it). Maybe I'm drinking too much grapefruit juice

So sorry you're feeling down sweetie. Wish I could give you a very un-MN hug. I suspect the grief tends to hit in waves and it's not helped by the lousy timing of your DP's deadline. Does he know how you feel? If you do get a BFN, we'll all be here so please don't crash alone. But I know what you mean. Sometimes I just cry and want to collapse into DH's arms and let it all go. My DH has been supportive but I don't think it's in the back of his mind constantly like it is for me. You guys are kindred spirits.

Sorry about your m/c LittleOneMum - hope you join us when the time is right for you (I know it's early days for you at the moment). You may even be a more patient soul than us

Cheepz - you are our very own gok wan of post m/c recovery! I feel inspired just reading your threads!

monkeys thanks. Hopefully soon after tonight we can rename you moremonkeys or monkeysisuptheduff

apples - I had headaches for the first week. Know what you mean about peeing on sticks. Hopefully you will get you BFN soon. I know I did feel better when the hormones went down. I found myself trying to use a cheapie OPK yesterday at the office (usually work from home) and didn't have anything to pee into. Improvised and used one of those tiny cream cartons that you get in coffee machines

monkeys Small world! I'm about 5 miles outside Ely in one of the little villages. Liking TFLS's suggestions for a new name.

TFLS Thank you! Feeling a bit crampy, so not holding out much hope, but hey-ho. It'll be lovely to get away for the weekend and haven't seen a lot people going since my wedding last year. I did feel quite grotty physically about two weeks after, but mostly put it down to a visit from the lovely OFSTED.

meita Sorry to hear you're feeling fed up, hope things get easier post-deadlines. My first AF was difficult because it felt like miscarrying again (though without the gut wrenching pain and two weeks of bleeding - looking on the bright side), however, it did also reassure me a bit that things were back to normal. Like everyone else said, we're all here for you (in a virtual kind of way). Also, love the phrase "hopeful impatience" sums it up perfectly

apples "Although frankly going to the loo will seem like a waste of time" I got some very funny looks from DH as I bent cackling over the laptop. Then I got the "Oh, Mumsnet" look.

Hello to all, hope everyone's well and taking care of themselves.

morning - feeling upbeat because its my birthday and dh and i have broken the ice on the bd front - another post mc milestone under the belt

apples that feeling of not being able to do anything to accelerate the process is crap, hope it passes soon

meita hope you are feeling better today, its all abit of a rollercoaster. I have a friend at work who just gives me the biggest cuddle when I need to have a cry. Her reaction when I told her was fantastic - she commented that I looked abit sad and I just fell apart, she had the good grace to well up herself and then just said 'oh honey thats just the saddest news for you' and gave me a hug, nothing more, didn't try and say 'it will be better soon' 'you can try again' 'at least it was early' just allowed me to be sad for a while.

Anyway - I was wondering - on the offchance we managed to achieve a result out of our bd last night (my ewcm is here and it would be ovulation time in a normal cycle if I had not had mc) do you think it will be a problem that I had been drinking .... I don't drink much but had a few last night and am now thinking that it might not have been very smart to bd on the back of a night out on the booze

probably just post mc anxiety (already) would not have even crossed my mind 'before' ....

Happy Birthday Cheepz! Have a fab day. Don't worry about the drinking, honestly. Even when actually pregnant and your blood supply is linked with the baby's a small amount of alcohol is unlikely to do any harm. Trust me, I'm a science teacher

That being said, the second I get that positive line I'll be avoiding it like the plague, but that's because my slightly insane, neurotic side will win out over my rational, informed, scientist side. But please don't worry about a few drinks pre conception (even if it was only just pre-, and fingers crossed that it was!)

happy birthday cheepz hope you have a good one. and please don't worry about the drinks you had, won't affect anything. glad all went well last night!

blp i live on the cambs/beds border so about 20 min from cambridge. i like the new name suggetsions too but sadly nothing came of it last night! when i put dd to bed i could tell she wasn't tired and she just kept getting out of bed. i was trying to work at the same time so at one point was on the phone to my boss when she wandered in and started screaming. not a good impression for him! anyway it got to 9, we still hadn't eaten, i gave up on the work. she came downstairs and watched tv while we ate dinner then eventually about half past she went to bed. so once again i wasn't in the right frame of mind! to top it all off she was up at half five this morning!

anyway that's it from me because i'm actually in the office today so should go. being spectacularly inefficient today, don't seem to be getting anywhere!!!

Happy belated birthday cheepz! Hope you had a great one. I wouldn't worry about the odd drink or two - I've read loads of stories where people have abstained religiously when TTC and only got pregnant when they got fed up and had a couple of drinks

Hope you're feeling better meita if you're reading this.

Just wondered how helpet is doing - you certainly started a wagon rolling!

Hope you all have a good weekend. Pretty, pretty please can we have some sunshine.

monkeys - just read your post. What a shame - obviously wasn't destined to be the night! Next time, I sense DD will have a very active and tiring day

Hello ladies,
thanks for all the kind words. You are right, MN is the place to go - where people understand. Thanks and big hugs to all of you!

Feeling better today, though yesterday was another rough day. It's just a bit of a rollercoaster really. All in all, well my temp-line is looking good so far, but I won't get my hopes up (but not down either!)

I wish I had a good friend on whose shoulder I could cry (not right now, but when the need arises); I think that would, if nothing else, help the grieving process along its way. I unfortunately left all my really close friends back in Switzerland when I came to England three years ago. I do have a few really nice friends over here too, but it's not the same as when your relationship goes back years and years.

Cheepz I'm sorry I missed your birthday! I wasn't on MN all day yesterday. Hope you enjoyed it! Good for you re: that next milestone.
Re: drinking, I think, even as a non-scientist, that there is no danger... They do say that the baby's bloodstream is hooked up with ours only during pg week 5 or 6, and unless it was a massive overdose, I am quite sure the residual alcohol will be out of your system by then.
On the other hand, I've observed myself not eating Gruyère (as it is made of raw milk) - I'm totally with you regarding obsessiveness!

Best of weekends to you all!

Hello ladies,(waves)

Happy Birthday Cheepz!!
It has been a while as I have had a dear friend and her husband from home (Australia) staying with us since Saturday so there has not been any opportunity to do any MN catching up! (They were the best house-guests - got home from work yesterday to a sparkling clean house where they had washed their own sheets, tidied and bought more food etc before I took them to the airport!)It was so so lovely having an old friend around to catch up on two-years worth of news, gossip & hugs! Even still, I have been itching to get back on and see how everyone else here is going.

A bit of a set-back for me...was getting quite excited at prospect of testing on the weekend...thought I could hang out until CD31...but bloody AF arrived on Tuesday this week (CD27)!!!! Felt v low on Tues...not helped by the fact that it was heavy and crampy/painful. We had tried BD almost everyday of the week I guessed was OV (although had pretended not to notice the lack of EWCM thoughout most cycle)!! I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, as although I had MMC nearly two months ago(early June) the first AF afterwards was really light and ON-OFF (and still quite a lot of preg hormone with BFP). Have also heard that it takes longer for the body to get back on track the further into the pregnancy (12 weeks before I MCd)?? It is all a bit tricky trying to work out my post-MC cycle too as I used to have a 30-32 day cycle and both AFs post MC have been around CD 26-27. I just feel a bit ARRRGGGGGHHHH about the whole thing! Made worse by the fact we are trying to sell our flat, buy another and the whole thing is taking ages and seems to be fraught with problems (month 6 now!)

Anyway. Rant over. I guess I can stop feeling guilty for having a few glasses of vino last weekend while catching up with friends!

I hope you are all feeling well and have lovely weekends planned to keep our thoughts on the other things in our lives away from TTC! (Big sprinkling of baby dust on this thread!)

Hi gorgeous ladies

I?m sorry it?s been so long ? I wrote a long message at the beginning of the week and my computer gobbled it up and spat it out who knows where.

TFLS thanks so much for thinking of me ? you?ve prompted me to write again!

I have felt incredibly grumpy and negative so stayed away from MN. However reading all your messages has reminded me how important MN is to stay sane at times like this ? and how horrible that all you lovely people are going through this too. I love that we can share our impatience together, our peeing on sticks, our temperature taking, our obsessions, our neuroses not to mention the positive stories from people who?ve popped in to give us hope!

Meita I hope you are feeling better ? it is such a tough rollercoaster and very isolating even with close friends around (in fact, as many of us have vouched, not all close friends/family are particularly understanding anyway). Being told to ?cheer up? has irked me this week!

Apples ? I felt completely wiped out (knackered) for several weeks and I had headaches (which I never usually have). Much better this week - apart from being in a grump, that is!

A friend of mine has lent me a Dorling Kindersley book about fertility by Zita West. It can freak you out a bit if you?re over 35 (like me) as it keeps quoting stats about your ageing eggs (thanks, I needed that) BUT it does give a brilliant run-down of which vitamins/what foods/which alternative therapies etc etc you should take at which point during your cycle (which I appreciate is a bit tricky if you don?t know where you are post-MC). I have found it quite a good focal point though ? being constructive is the only thing I can have control over.

BLP I have everything crossed.

Monkeys ? you sound like a dynamo! Your DD sounds a bit like my DS!

Cheepz HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY - hope you have a good weekend planned too. Definitely no problem re. alcohol at this stage (fingers crossed/touch wood/chant etc) but understand why you worry about everything now - I do too. I think we all have to accept that having an MC is going to make us all worry a great deal more than we would have. Having said that, my eye has caught a large glass of wine that my DH has poured me ...

Hello to everyone else who?s joined this thread too. I?m so sorry you?re in this frustrating boat but I know we?ll have some positive stories soon ? and eventually we?ll all sail off as maternal ships in full pregnant sail.

Some sunshine would definitely help.
xxx

thanks for all birthday wishes and thoughts, had a lovely dinner with dh last night where he actually asked me how i was feeling and whether i wanted to talk about it and so on - i think with him we just need to be out of the house with him not thinking about work and away from ds to really talk about anything that means anything

anyway - that was the best present he could have given me and it was nice to just have a chat about how it had made me feel, and how i am feeling now, and how we plan to move forward

hope you ladies are all doing ok, not much good news recently with AF popping up all over, hopefully someone will have some happy news soon and we can all steal some hope and strengthen our resolve from that

xx

Hi everyone,

Finally got a BFN last night at day 20 after ERPC - yes I went and bought some more sticks.

So, hunting the ov now.. outwardly, in RL, I look perfectly normal.

Went to Surrey for a birthday party yesterday. A little friend of my DS and I've known the mum for a few years. Lovely house, swimming pool, large garden. She asked if I wanted to stay the night, which was sweet. But in my head I was saying "Are you INSANE, I could ovulate at ANY moment"..

welcome back helpet!! the sun is shining here so hopefully you'll get some too!

as you can see i have changed my name slightly and it has felt like mayhem here this week. hoping it'll all calm down a bit soon especially as dd had another bad night last night. still nothing compared to a newborn (and i want to go through that again?????!!!)

this morning we went to the rspb for a lovely walk but dd was just too tired really so weren't there that long. will take her to the park later to hopefully wear her out. dh working all weekend and i really don't like it because all my other friends are busy doing family stuff so can't meet up. still if he didn't i wouldn't be able to work so swings and roundabouts!

glad you got BFN apples seems strange saying that but at least you know where you are now. glad you enjoyed the party, sounds a fab house! lol at your insane thought!

sounds like your meal out with dh was good cheepz i find it makes a difference just being out the house and alone as opposed to just sitting in front of the tv or whatever. i'm glad you feel better for it.

so i guess now i'm waiting for AF but don't know when to expect it really. i'm guessing maybe end of next week but not really sure. it'll be an interesting couple of weeks. i'm feeling pretty ok at the moment though and i don't think i'll be devestated if AF arrives. that's partly due to things going so well at work at the moment and i have huge guilt issues when it comes to (hopefully) telling them i'm pregnant again. i'm trying to change my role as well at the moment which if it worked would make life lot easier if we do have another dc. anyway i guess what will be will be and a BFP is ultimately more important.

will stop waffling on now. enjoy the sunshine ladies

Morning all. Lovely day here so feeling much brighter and optimistic.
helpet good to see you back here. what words of wisdom has Zita suggested on the 'what to eat/not to eat' etc...anything tastier than grapefruit juice?
apples - sounds strange, but good to hear that the BFN has arrived so you can start to get on with the TTC . I have to say I laughed out loud reading your thoughts re: sleep-over! It is funny seeing these things written down as what any one of us has also thought at some point!
cheepz - glad to hear that you had a lovely birthday and that you and dh were able to talk properly about it all and how you are feeling. It is such a relief to let it all out to the ones you care about most isn't it? DH got a message from a friend that about the birth of their fist child this morning - a little girl...they had been trying for ages and had MC'd a couple of times too so obviously we are so happy for them - but didn't stop us shedding a little tear for ourselves.

Happy Sunny Saturday to all you lovely ladies.

Good morning, what a lovely day this promises to be!

This morning my temperature went up quite a bit. Last time when that happened, at the end of my cycle, I got up and peed on a stick (and it was positive - but I MCd a week later, which is why I am here). Today I told myself "No no no no way!" As I was sure I'd just be disappointed - it's simply still to early. And with post-MC hormones being unpredictable, I didn't want to over-interpret anything.

So, got up, turned on computer, put the day's measure into my online chart. Then what I often do is look up my best friend's chart, she has been trying for her 3rd, since 15 months now - just recently they discovered they had Chlamydia and had it treated, and this now is their first cycle post-treatment, and she's about as far along as I am in her cycle. So, looked at her chart - and she was obviously less patient than me, she tested with an "early" test, and it came out BFP! I'm really pleased for her - though those early tests are always a bit of a gamble - but now I'm so sorry I didn't do a test too - it would have been simply brilliant to have both tested positive at the same time! (But then, had I tested, it probably would have turned out negative anyway... )

Tuesday. Or maybe even Wednesday. I won't test before Tuesday, I won't I won't I won't.

Cith I'm glad the sun caught up with you and that you are feeling better! You know, according to www.pregnancyloss.info, if your first AF post MC is "not normal" and you still get BFPs, then it doesn't really count as your first AF but is still related to your MC. That would mean that this AF which has come to see you now, is actually the first. So that would indicate that from now on, your cycle should be mostly back to normal, and there is nothing at all to stop you from TTC! (Just trying to point out the bright side...)

monkey nice name! Glad you are feeling good, too. AF will arrive when she will, she's like that, you know - never sticks to appointments, turns up when you least want to see her, but when you are eagerly awaiting her, she keeps you waiting... And regarding work, I'm sure there will always be a way. I agree that getting a BFP is more important!

apples Great that you got a BFN! Haha - aren't we weird in here? Like the sleep-over thing - that could have been me :-)

cheepz glad to hear you had a good took with DH. I've been managing to get snippets out of mine, but over all he's just way too focused on that deadline. But I think things are looking up, here too.

helpet sorry to hear you had a rough week. I hope you are feeling a bit better now. I'm sorry, but I seem to have lost count - how are things progressing regarding TTC for you? You know, I'm eternally grateful to you for starting this thread. Really! I will be so happy when one day you will report getting a BFP to us.

Have a nice Sunday!