Anyone out there who's recently MCd and back to TTC without waiting?

[helpet]

Hey everyone. I have a DS (18 months) and had first MC last week at only 5 and a half weeks. Have wondered whether to wait for AF but after obsessively reading most threads on the subject in MN - have decided to take the plunge and TTC just as soon as I can ... Anyone in a similar boat wanting to join this thread and spread the baby-dust? xxxx PS Am terrified it won't happen for months / it will happen and I'll be a compulsive knicker-checker

meita and cith glad you are feelig brighter

helpet hope you are too

hope everyone had good weekends xxx

Hello, hope everyone's well and looking after themselves. Lovely to see you again helpet!

Well, the wedding was amazing (dinner in the ballroom, dancing in the library, oh how the other half live!). Got a BFN when I tested in the morning and with impeccable timing AF started in the middle of the church service. Still, good to know that I'm back onto a 28 day cycle and I'm not as gutted as I thought I would be. Onwards and upwards. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

Wow BLP, that sure sounds like a great wedding party! I'm off to a promising wedding in just under two weeks time, but I doubt if they'll do as well as "dancing in the library" sounds... Ah, but to have it spoiled by that most unwanted party crasher aunt! I'm glad to hear you are not taking it all too hard and I like the "onwards and upwards" sentiment. As long as "upwards" indicates "upstairs into the bedroom" IYSWIM...

Hang on in there, and if the "gutted" feeling does still install itself with delay, we're all here to commiserate with you.

Hi everyone,

Believe I ovulated over the weekend, ov pos (after preg test neg), so I think it was the real thing. Dealt with (thanks for asking!), plus one for insurance..

Now the 2ww..

Hey apples, how's the waiting going?

Everyone where are you all? It's gone awfully quiet in here...

Ok ladies, I tested this morning and got a BFN. However I'm not yet giving up hope altogether as AF has not arrived yet and temp chart is not indicating her imminent arrival, as it's decidedly pointing upwards. But then, I only half trust this times chart as hormones will have been doing havoc to everything I suppose.

Have been very teary today, but not really downcast - let's see how I feel when AF arrives though.

Take care everyone - it would be great to hear from you all!

meita sorry there's no bfp yet but as you say that could still change. i've been wondering whether to test but to be honest think i'm too scared too, regardless of waht the result was!! if no AF has arrived by the end of next week then i might! looked at the tests in boots yesterday though just to see how early they could tell, and theoretically the first response ones would give a result now. also though thinking about the money. i'd rather leave it longer and get two normal tests for a fiver than one for however much it was which i wouldn't end up trusting anyway!!!

definitely hate this waiting though.

was working yesterday which was fine but a long day, shattered by the end of it. today off to see a friend this afternoon then working a couple of hours tonight. another day on site tomorrow then on friday afternoon we're off to see the inlaws for the weekend. not exactly looking forward to that but it'll nice for dh and dd obviously so needs must!

the b**ody rain's back. aaaaaargh!

hope everyone's doing ok.

Hi everyone

Sorry I've been offline for a little while. Lovely to catch up with you all

I'm another one where AF has turned up - unexpectedly early on Monday. I don't think I ovulated so it was a bit of a surprise as I'd locked into "catching the moment" and then it was a no show . But I guess on the plus side (it's taken me a day or two to work through to being positive....), hopefully my body was trying to right itself as soon as possible. Did love your quote apples as it completely summed up my earlier attitude after getting a BFN - right, on to o/v as my next target! And outwardly in RL, I look perfectly quite normal too How's your 2ww going?

Sorry BestLaid and Cith re AF. Glad the wedding went well bestlaid. Completely understand your frustration re calculating your cycle cith - I just want to know where I am again. Hopefully this will be the month for us (and could fate through in a flat sale for luck )

Lovely to see you back helpet. Hope you're feeling better. I had lots of low grade headaches for the couple of weeks after my m/c - I assumed it was my hormone levels resettling. That and tiredness.

meita - I was reading the thread with my fingers crossed for you. I do admire your resolve in holding out til Wednesday. My fingers are still crossed...

Love the new name monkey. Glad work is going well. I'd definitely stick worrying about a future pregnancy in the I'll deal with that when it happens camp! Nice problem to have, as my Grandmother would say

Sounds a lovely dinner with your DH cheepz. As horrible as the whole m/c thing is, there can be moments when it really brings you together.

Anyway, sorry for the long ramble. Missed you girls!

Hi Meita - how are you doing? Sorry to hear about BFN - has AF arrived yet? You know that BFPs are never wrong but that BFNs sometimes are ... although I don't want to give false hope.

Apples - hope things are happening inside.

BLP sorry about the arrival of AF - like the proverbial bad fairy, and at a wedding too! Glad you are switching it to positive - I hope I can do the same if I need to.

Monkeymayhem I hate this waiting too (and the rain) - we're also off to the inlaws this weekend. Feeling v. sorry for my MIL though - my nephew (2.5) has broken his arm while in her care (parents on hols). Poor baby - although I think it's hardest on his Granny - she's feeling so awful about it.

I'm wondering about testing on Friday. I wasn't going to - I was just going to wait for AF and hope she didn't arrive but I don't think I can now. So obsessed by it. Not feeling quite so RATTY this week though. Have had insomnia this week - which I had all through my pregnancy with DS and also with the last preg up until just before I MCd. This sleeplessness could just be psychosomatic though - trying to convince myself that I'm back to where I want to be.

If AF turns up - I hope I'll be a bit more relaxed about the whole situation next cycle. I'm very close to mad at the moment!

Hope everyone else is ok and the waiting game isn't making you all insane too.

xxx

Some words of wisdom about what to eat when (i.e. something positive to focus on if AF arrives and you'll know where you are again, re. cycle):

Week 1 of cycle : Eat iron rich food (with vic C for absorption) - take Vit B1 to build up blood and supplement co-enzyme Q10 to help circulation and oxygenating blood. Also A and E, selenium (BRAZIL NUTSSSSSS) and bioflavonoids for building up endometrium

Week 2 : Need to think about egg production (my friend who has to go through IVF keeps saying 'eating eggs makes healthy eggs'. Take Zinc, magnesium, vit A and selenium. B vits are important for the release of the egg apparently. Vit B12 is especially imp. Vitamin C helps the ovaries and is actually present in the fluid around the egg (along with Vit E, selenium and zinc).

Week 3 : Zinc, Vit A and Vit C

Week 4: Vits B6, E, zinc and magnesium. Eat lots of warm food and best to avoid uncooked foods (like salads) - whoops! That last bit is Chinese medicine - they believe the tummy should be kept warm to keep any little embyro in there nice and toasty!

Food sources:
Vits B1 and B2: whole grains, nuts, brown rice, meat, egg yolks, fish, poultry, pulses, seeds.
Vit B5: wheat germ, slamon, sweet potatoes, broccoli, oranges, cashews, pecans and strawberries
Vit B6 as for B1 and B2 plus leafy green veg
Vit B12: lamb, sardines, salmon (if you are vegetarian you should take this as a supplement as its only in animal products.
We all know about folate / folic acid - Vitamin C helps absorption.
Vit C - citrus fruits, most fruits plus peas, potatoes, parsley, watercress and spinach.
Vit E - cold-pressed oils, wheatgerm, whole grains, eggs, sweet potatoes, avocados

I think it's worth getting hold of a copy of Fertility and Conception by Zita West - it's a mass of helpful info (inspite of the bit about 'old' eggs!).

Hello all, I've dragged myself to school for the day since I'm changing my classroom and my lab next year so I'm MNing with one hand and shredding three years worth of exam papers with the other. Probably not terribly efficient but saving me from going mad with boredom.

apples hope the waiting is not too tiresome.

meita hope you find out one way or the other soon, it's the waiting that's the worst (obviously fingers crossed for a BFP though!)

monkeymayhem hope your day on-site went well and good luck for when you do decide to test.

TFLS Good to see you back. Boo to AF, though I suppose if it's going to turn up early is better than late.

helpet thanks for all the information. I do love a project! Very best of luck if you do test tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Heeyy ladies, glad to see you all back and posting! I was starting to feel a little lonely on here

monkey I'd personally not get the early response tests either. I think they should come with a health warning - as they can just make the emotional rollercoaster worse than it is already. I hope your in-laws weekend turns out to be nice and pleasant!

TFLS awww I'm so disappointed for you! As you'd been so quiet, I've been hoping that you got a BFP and were just waiting a little bit, for it all to settle down in your mind, before posting the news on here... But I'm glad it seems your body has now sorted itself out. You know, the very first cycle when I started temping (back in February), I think I didn't ovulate either - that sure did confuse me!

helpet thanks for all your nutritional advice. Will print it out, and make shopping lists
That must be terrible for your MIL. I hope she realises that things like that can happen without it really being anyone's fault. And I hope your nephew is recovering well!
Ah yes, the 2ww madness. I'm with you. It's sooo hard to remain calm. You know, I think you deserve to test (if you feel like it) - I think after experiencing an MC we all have the right to pamper ourselves a bit, and that includes splashing out on HPT if that makes us feel better. Not if it will just make you feel down, though. Though I feel that a BFN is less definite than AF arriving, and so gives you some time when you don't totally give up hope but you're still mentally getting used to the idea that it hasn't worked out this time. But I understand that others feel just the opposite way.

BLP finished shredding?

Ok, you've all been asking for news from me ... (which gave me a glowing, happy feeling - it's nice to know there are people out there who care! thanks everyone!)

So, temp today was still high. It's been high now for 16 days, and usually AF arrives on day 14 of high temps; it's CD33 for me today. So, although I am quite devoid of symptoms, I decided to test (well, I'd woken up way earlier than normal this morning, and of course I remembered that when I was pg before MC, I kept waking up early too...). But the test again gave me a clear, unambiguous BFN.

Oh well, I thought... not really knowing what to make of this. I then put the new temp info into my chart. I've been trying out the FF chart as an alternative, and put the temp into that one too. And what does it tell me? Something in the manner of "The new information you have submitted is enough to make our engine re-evaluate its analysis, and we have moved your ovulation date from CD17 to CD30". Ah.
(No wonder the HPTs were neg.)

Looking back at the chart, well it kind of makes sense. Do you remember - I was asking about post-MC temps as mine had been lower than usual. Well it then jumped up to usual pre-ovulation level, and I and my chart programme interpreted this as ovulation - the jump was also bang on time when I usually ovulate. So I thought, I'm just having low temps - but it doesn't matter as long as they're higher post-ov than pre-ov.
Then they started going even higher. And I, gleefully, saw a tri-phasic line... which I know to be a quite strong indicator for conception. But I suppose that was wishful thinking...
The first rise was probably just my body getting back to normal. And the second rise was ovulation-related.

So what does this all mean?

• I feel cheated out of two HPTs...
• I'm back to DPO 3... another long 11 days of waiting...
• I'll be waiting for AF, not a HPT - we haven't BDed at the right times... well there was this once that might, miraculously, have worked out, but being realistic, there is VERY little chance.
• Accordingly, I also feel cheated out of the chance of TTC this cycle.
• If only AF had arrived! As is, I need to wait 11 days for AF before TTC again. Arrgh. This post-MC cycle is going to be around 44 days long... and we missed ovulation... it's not FAIR!

But then, who said life is fair? Onwards and upwards. In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter if we have a baby next May or if we have to wait till June, or August...?

Sooo this was definitely a monster post. Forgive me. I just had to get rid of this.

Hi Meita, no, still here, have put all the books and test papers in three huge boxes to hide in my cupboard. I've almost finished the confidential shredding, then I can do something more fun, like back display boards and rearrange my office.

Oh no, poor you. The waiting is bad enough, but to have to do it twice... Don't worry about long, offloading posts that's the whole point of this place (and I'll almost certainly be joining you in a week or so since it looks like DH is away in Exeter all over the fertile period). I still have my fingers crossed for you, after all, it only takes one...

you all disappeared from the 'threads i am on' - i wondered if the thread had gone - or i had been banished!! thankfully i have found you all again

unfortunately i am feeling terrible with a bug - may or maynot be THE bug but will keep you posted x

Hi Cheepz
Welcome back! Oh no - THE bug!
GET WELL SOON whatever it is!

Bought cheapo HPK today - decided they're fine - they worked with DS - used THE expensive ones last time I was pregnant and as that didn't work out I'v decided to go back to the 'bargain' variety. Not that I'm being remotely superstitious.

I think I meant HPT!

Hi everyone,

Sorry to hear about the BFNs and AFs dropping in. It is far more difficult to know where you are cycle-wise after a mc or mmc.

I am in waiteekatie mode at the moment. Insanely alert to special twinges and, of course, on boob watch. Too early to tell.

But AF should arrive next Friday if I am correct about things.. but if it does arrive at least I will know where I am next month. I am NOT going to go out and buy a preg test. Did that last time, so I will wait until next Friday passes.

fatlady, I'm sorry you missed the moment.. next month should be easier to detect.

I am reflecting on my hunt for the ov, and to be honest, I was a bit insane.. I felt like if I didn't catch it, it would be a tragedy of the proportions of the mmc.

I've just emptied all the paper bins around the house, and they were littered with, er, test sticks..

Now I am calm and rational ("briefly" as Dh would say)..

we're off to yorkshire in a little while and probably won't be able to mn over the weekend - boo-hoo!!

echo what apples says about the bfns and afs. i've also been analysing every tiny twinge, the fact that i've been hungry, tired etc. thinking my boobs are hurting.... not getting bigger, they never do that!! and although i said earlier if af does arrive i thught i'd be ok, now i'm not so sure. seems like everyday i'm counting over the days again to see when af might appear. think i may also test next weekend unless something happens in meantime. if stress brings on af then this weekend should certainly do that!!

anyway, hope you all have lovely weekend xx

am feeling better - clearly was not THE bug I am just getting lots of summer colds

not really obsessing too much about ttc at the mo - its not having a clue about the cycle - is quite liberating, although the fact i have felt like crap and hence have no desire to bd even if i was ovg means Im just not thinking much about it

however, i have been shopping alot which is abit of a distraction and i am a size 14 for the first time in 5 years which is making me feel chuffed and like making the most of it before it all goes tits up again on the weight front! shallow? moi?

Hello all,

Cheepz - glad you're feeling better. Not at all shallow, I've put on loads of weight since MC and it just makes me feel really uncomfortable and unhealthy.

Helpet - peeing on a stick is worryingly addictive, makes me grateful that I'm the one who empties all the bins.

Monkeymayhem Have a lovely time in Yorkshire. Wrong side of the Pennines, obviously, but still lovely (looking out across the Fens and missing hills!)

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

Good morning,

Just a brief note to let you all know that I'm away for a while... I'm in Switzerland where DPs nephew is being christened (tomorrow) and where we're invited to a wedding (next weekend) and have lots of plans for the time in-between, so don't know how often I'll get time to MN.

With all the temping and hoping and testing I did this week, and the ultimate disappointment, I've come to an important conclusion (for me): A missed chance for conception is by faaaaar less bad, not even on the same scale as the MC experience. Yeah, it's sad and disappointing, of course; and at the time, it feels terrible. But the MC is not just a missed chance, it's a loss which hurts so much more.
So where initially I thought the only thing to help me get over the MC quickly would be to immediately get PG again, and that getting AF to visit would feel like the end of the world, I guess I'm more relaxed now. Finding out that this cycle hasn't worked out was a bad revelation, but the pain of it subsides rather quickly, compared to the MC pain. In a way I'm more angry now (about having to uselessly wait for AF), whereas the MC caused more sadness.

I hope you're all having a nice weekend - here, things are promising to be great. It's actually hot! And am looking forward to holding DP's nephew.

Take care, you lovely ladies all!

Apples - I was EXACTLY like you re. the insane search of ov. but probably unlike you I was jumping my DH in an obsessive and not especially 'loving' manner - which, as boringly moaned about on this thread, resulted in a somewhat limp response for several attempts. I was just on some massive crusade to heal the wound - and for me that was my worst week - I was much more of an emotional wreck than when I actually had my MC.

Meita I hope that your trip back to Switzerland gives you a much-needed lift and refreshes your bruised spirit. Get lots of that gorgeous clear Swiss air in you and soak up the beautiful sunshine (it'll probably be raining here!). I'm so sorry about this cycle not working out, and I know how it felt like the only way to get over the MC. I think we all understand that exactly.

Cheepz - shopping is an essential part of all this - along with Brazil nuts and pee-sticks!

So - my news - my crazed crusade actually seems to have paid off - for the moment at least, and I am now an insane knicker-checker with my heart in my mouth. On Friday I peed on THE cheap stick with a heavy feeling - preparing myself for disappointment BUT there it was a miraculous BFP .... Am ecstatic but terrified. Will pee on second stick tomorrow just for reassurance ... and am taking one day and then one week at a time. Can't believe it.

I am so hoping you will all join me as soon as poss ... it does show it's possible, though this is so early we are far far far from a happy ending yet (hopefully 8 months).

I do remember reading something a regular MNetter wrote about conception after MC - that she believed strongly that the body seeks to recover it's pregnant state. It's possible - it happens - it will happen. Oh and I also found on that my friend who is now about 4 months pregnant MCd at 10 weeks, and then got preg again straight after with the baby she's now carrying. Keep strong everyone - it WILL happen.

xxx

HOORAY! Helpet that's fab. I'm so pleased for you!

Helpet! Wow that's fantastic news! Please tell us that you got another BFP this morning :-)

Oh dear oh dear, I imagine I'd be a manic knicker checker in your situation. Sending you some relaxing vibes - I do so hope for you that this bean is a sticky one!

Another BFP this morning (phew) but came into the kitchen looking a bit despondent (trying not to be excited) and my poor DH thought it was bad news. He seems to be as nervous as me which actually surprised me. Anyway thanks for kind words - and hope you join me VERY soon in manic knicker-checking activityxxx