Getting Ready to TTC baby #2 (anyone else want to join?)

[DaisyEM]

We are gearing up to TTC baby number 2 and I thought it might be nice to chat to others in the same boat :)

I'm 35 and have a DS who is 3, planning on starting TTC next month. We've been on the fence about it for a little while, but I'm finally starting to feel a bit excited (and terrified!) at the prospect of a second baby!

Hi there!
I’m right with you on the terrified/excited mix. I’m 31 and DS will be 2 in summer. I had my coil removed 2 weeks ago so we are officially TTC now. Also in the midst of a house purchase/move. No time like the present 😅

@GoldieMam my DH has been talking about putting our house on the market too! With DS we moved when I was 12 weeks, so my preference would be to stay put this time round, ha! Super exciting you've just started TTC. Do you have a date for the move yet? What are your plans re TTC? First time round it took us 8 months and I went all in with OPKs and charting BBT, but I'm going to attempt to take a more relaxed approach this time...hopefully!

Ah, it’s so stressful! I’ll feel so emotional leaving this place, but it’s time to go. An energetic almost 2 yo needs a garden! No date yet, despite accepting an offer on this house in Jan, the chain only completed a few weeks ago. We’re hoping sometime in August! I’m doing BBT and that’s it for now. We were super lucky to get pregnant cycle 1 last time so trying to take a relaxed approach too. I think I’ll give it a few months then start OPKs. Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼are you starting this cycle or waiting a bit?

We have just started to ttc number 2. DS is 13 months old, we were going to wait until September but it took 8 months and a mmc the first time so thought why wait. Also we dtd less often now so it could take even longer- sorry if that’s tmi.

I have just stopped the mini pill 6 days ago so I’m conflicted on starting straight away or to wait for a first period. I conceived straight away after stopping the mini pill last time but it ended in a mmc. It might not have been linked but who knows.

@GoldieMam ah fair enough! A garden will be great, we spend so much time in ours now the weather is better :) Fingers crossed it all goes through quickly and smoothly! I don't think I could do BBT this time around as I mostly cosleep with our DS and I doubt he would let me lay still to take my temp upon waking up ha. Part of the reason we've left it 3 years before TTC is because he still wakes up a few times in the night, but I honestly don't think there's an end in sight for that and I don't want to wait forever!

No waiting until next cycle. I'm just in my FW now so probably missed the boat on this one. I've been taking folic acid about 6 weeks so think it's probably best to wait until next month. My cycles were all over the place last time after I stopped the pill, so I'm sort of hoping as I didn't go back on any hormonal contraception and my cycles are regular now that it won't take quite as long.

Hello! I'm also 35, have a 3yo DS, I'm on cycle 2 TTC our second. Were you on the fence for a specific reason? We waited until now as DH wasn't sure for a while, was annoyed about it at the time but actually feel quite relieved we've been able to enjoy our first for this long. He's felt much easier the last 6 months.

@Blue2020 that's definitely not TMI - we are in the same boat and I think it's totally normal after becoming parents! Much to my DH's dismay 😂Sorry to hear about your MMC last time, it took us 8 months before too. I was slightly obsessive about it all the first time round!

Hmm that's tricky. Do you think if you did fall pregnant this first cycle it might cause you more anxiety, because of your previous experience? If so I'd maybe skip this one and perhaps do some prep (like taking folic acid, focusing on eating well etc), so that you feel like you're doing something positive to help with TTC for the first month? We are going to start next month as I've only been taking folic acid for 6 weeks so thought best wait a bit.

@koalabearboombox hi, ah that's nice we are same age and same age DS too 😊that's exciting you've already started! Tbh there are lots of reasons. Same as you, DH has had his reservations but after a few conversations and some time for him to think he's now feeling much more positive. Other reasons we were unsure for a while is that DS still wakes up a few times a night, and I had various pregnancy complications plus a traumatic birth. I always imaged having two close together, but because of all of the above, it's taken me a lot longer to feel ready again! That's great you feel the timing has worked out well for you in the end x

@koalabearboombox oh and DS was poorly when first born and had ongoing tests until 5 months (he's absolutely fine now!), but he was also a very unsettled baby. My list of reservations could go on 😂but ultimately I do want a second and I really want him to have a brother or sister if we are lucky enough to have another

Hey! 34 (in 2 weeks) with DS who is 19 months. We’re on cycle 6 TTC. My son was only 2 cycles so feeling a bit frustrated with it this time but it will happen when it happens!

I’ve just started BBT with my Apple Watch and it has been really useful alongside OPK’s.

How is everyone feeling about the thought of 2?! I feel a lot more relaxed about it now I have some experience under my belt! X

@TTC1990 hi ☺️ Ah sorry to hear it’s taking a bit longer this time! It’s hard to remember when you’re eager for it to happen, but according to the NHS it’s normal for it to take up to a year. I know a year feels like forever though! When we were TTC first time it took 8 months and I was convinced it wasn’t going to happen. It’s hard not to stress about it!

oh I didn’t know you could do BBT with an Apple Watch! I have one, so it would be great to know how that works?

I’m feeling nervous tbh 😂 I found the newborn phase so hard last time, so I struggle to get to grips with how you’re meant to do that all over again with another child already! That’s great you feel relaxed. I’ll definitely be more confident and won’t worry about all the little things that I did with my DS, I guess I’m just scared that DS will still be waking lots in the night and I’ll have a newborn up all night too 🤣

@DaisyEM you are absolutely right and I need to keep reminding myself that it is normal! I think it’s just hard when you are doing everything and still getting negatives!

What series Apple Watch do you have? It needs to be 8 or above. You need to wear it every night and have it on ‘sleep’ mode. You can then go and view the data on your health app 😊. You have to wear it at least 3 nights in a row for the data to track. Mine has always been quite accurate (spikes during ovulation then drops when AF is due) so that has been reassuring.

I also found the newborn phase tough, so I feel you!! I think it’s just nice to know that there is a light at the end of tunnel though. I remember those newborn nights thinking is this now my life forever?!

@TTC1990 oh yeah totally, by the time we finally got our BFP I was totally obsessing over it and constantly trying all sorts to make it happen! And for you because it happened so quickly first time it must feel like it’s taking forever this time. I’m sure it’ll happen soon though ☺️

ah I just looked it up and mine is series 4 😂 I think that would have been nice to have given that it takes no effort to chart bbt, but as I’m trying to take a relaxed approach (😅) I won’t go down the route of taking my temp every morning like I did last time, at least for the first few months!

Yes that’s so true. When you’re in the depths of it it feels like it’s going to go on forever, but then when you look back at it, it was such a small part of their lives. I found the toddler phase much easier, so I guess going back to that newborn chaos just feels a bit daunting!

@DaisyEM i just hope we get in before the summer ends! We also co-sleep if he wakes in the night, which up until recently was most nights. Now he sleeps through more than he wakes but he’s an early riser! I think my BBT chart will be all over the place! I’m on the folic acid too and trying to improve my diet a little. You’re dead right about doing something to make you feel a bit more in control. I hate the unknown so the whole TTC thing is v all consuming for me.

We had similar reservations around a second. Our DS has been a pretty bad sleeper and he was also a pretty fussy baby. I guess I’m just banking on no 2 being more chill 😅 @koalabearboombox v reassuring to hear yours has been easier recently!

@TTC1990 that’s great to hear about the Apple Watch. I was thinking of upgrading mine so another reason to consider. I’m terrible at remembering to do my BBT first thing so maybe that would help!

@DaisyEM yes I’m tempted to wait a month. Although I also am quite impulsive so what I might do is avoid tracking but not actively avoid ttc this cycle. Last time after the mmc I used opk and bbt to track my cycles.

Oh I also had a tough time with the newborn stage. I love sleep so sleep deprivation was very hard. It felt like it would go on forever. Also ds would always bring his milk back so I used to sit him upright for 40-50minutes each time afterwards. I was jealous of my friends who fed their babies then put them straight down to sleep. I remember during the newborn stage wondering how anyone ever has a second child… then five months later when it got a bit easier I thought (‘shall we have a second?’).

Wishing you all baby dust for your journies 🎆

I already have a 10 year old DS. We tried for him for a whole year before I gave up and then unknowingly conceived after consecutive weekends out drinking with friends 😂 I’ve always wanted baby #2 but husband wasn’t keen as I had a bad time in childbirth. I came off the pill in Feb as I didn’t like the side effects anymore and I’m wondering (hoping) I’ve got pregnant by accident.

I’m nearly 40 now so I know the likelihood is much lower due to my age but I’ve been obsessing for last week as I’ve not felt “right” for the last week. Very watery CM, very sore boobs and tired, not like me. But if it’s my brain playing a trick I’m going to be so upset. My DS has always wanted a sibling so i feel I’m letting him down if I don’t but am very aware of the age gap. How do you ladies not go insane waiting to test? I feel it’s all I think about, it’s not good for me. Obviously I’d have to win my
DH over if I was but I’m happy to go it alone if it’s a dealbreaker.

It'll be so life changing in all sorts of ways but I do hope I am. I’m 6 dpo so will have to wait at least another 4 days to test. Whatever will be, will be I suppose.

@GoldieMam glad its not just me that’s considering baby 2 with the first still not sleeping through. Mine unfortunately always wakes a couple of times a night. I’ve put off TTC for baby 2 hoping that he will start sleeping through soon, but it doesn’t seem to be happening so figured we may as well give it a go! Hopefully it’ll happen between now and conceiving/second baby arriving 😆

He all, hope I can join. I'm also trying to conceive DC 2. My first is just over a year. We are on cycle 3!

@Blue2020 i think I’m going to do the same to start with, just stop preventing but not necessarily really going for it 😂 I will be making sure we DTD around when I believe I ovulate though, which is either today or tomorrow! Very hard seeing all the signs you’re about to ovulate and just ignoring them now that we’ve decided to go for a second 😅 I do think for us it’s best we wait until next month though

oh we had the exact same! My DS had silent reflux, so I had to hold him for 30 mins after every feed. For the first month I could put him down, but then after that up until 4 months I couldn’t put him down even for a second. I do wonder if having to hold him upright after every feed played a part in that, like maybe he just got used to being on someone and that started an aversion to his crib 🤷🏻‍♀️ I feel like there’s so many things I would do differently second time 😂 oh I’m with you on the sleep! Before DS I would happily have 9-10 hours a night. It appears I’m high sleep needs and DS is low sleep needs, which is unfortunate 😅

How are you feeling today re waiting to start or just having a go now?

@DaisyEM i totally get it, it’s so tough. I found it so much easier once I stopped obsessing about “fixing” his sleep. Everything is a phase has been my parenting matra!

@Yellowrayofsunshine ahh that’s a tricky situation! My DH wasn’t keen for ages either, so I know how that feels when you’re hoping to have a second but DH isn’t onboard. I appreciate the fear regarding birth though, as I had a tricky birth too and that’s hard to come to terms with let alone face potentially doing it again! I suppose your desire to have another child overrides that, whereas for your DS the want for a second isn’t strong enough to have to possibly witness the same thing again. It's so difficult not to obsess over it while waiting to test! I guess all I can say is try to distract yourself as best you can and try not to read into every tiny little thing x

@gormlessgoldilocks of course! I think it’s so nice to have others to chat to who are going through the same ☺️ I’ve not even started TTC baby 2 yet (going to start next month), although having started this I’m wondering why we are waiting 😂 exciting for you that you are going for baby 2! A close age gap will be so nice. Where are you up to in this cycle?

@GoldieMam i always feel like I’m just about getting enough sleep to survive 🤪 but then we will have a particularly bad week and I’ll feel like I can’t go on like this, but as you say it comes back around and gets a bit better for a while. Oh I totally agree with you on the not obsessing about trying to fix it. Probably until he was about 18 months I tried all sorts and would feel so disappointed/frustrated when it didn’t help. Since then I’ve just gone with the flow, given in to a floor bed and cosleeping and accepted that he’s just not a sleeper and needs a bit more support through the night. One day, he will sleep 😂

@DaisyEM you're completely correct. Pretty sure he had some undiagnosed PTSD from it but he never got around to dealing with it. His reluctance to have another Ive always respected - if it was the other way around I’d expect him to accept I didn’t want another - but I almost feel incomplete and my DS has never settled being an only, he’s so good with his friends little siblings, it hurts to know I was depriving him of the opportunity because his dad says so. Sorry, I went a little deep there didn’t I 😣i suppose if it’s a false alarm we can go back to normal like we were and everything will be ok. I just hate this waiting to find out.

@DaisyEM I'm actually on Day 1 on cycle 3 today. I knew I was out a while ago for cycle 2 and confirmed by AF. So 3 here we go! We are actually on a cruise for the whole of the window and we've got our 1yo in the same room so might not even make it this month 🙃

We wanted to start early because we weren't sure how long it would take and for us would prefer two close in age than a big age gap! You never know what might happen so even if it takes us a while hopefully we will still end up with a preferable age gap for us