2024 TTC 35+ Part 1

[VixFromThe6ix]

New year, new thread!!!

Positive thoughts and baby dust for everyone this year!!!

We are taking a two cycle break. The first is because we are getting the HyCoSy test the day after ovulation but we decided to take a cycle off after that just for a MH break.

We have already surpassed the deadline I had set in my head. I wanted to have another baby or at least be pregnant when DD turned 5. That was January just passed. I definitely do swing between desperately wanting another child and trying to be happy with what I do have. It's hard going

I did a randox health
Female hormones test last cycle

But instead of day 21

For a number of reasons it was done day 26 ish

My progesterone was 19.8

This cycle - having just ovulated day 16 _ / 17

Im going to test day 22 ish.. & see what progesterone is..

The test is only 30 gbp ish

And i will feel less anxious // happier when progesterone is 30 etc...or at least nearer it...

July last year - 4 whatever reason - my progesterone repeatidly was low with super drug progesterone tests - & i tested multiple times that cycle

Yet last year we concieved off august ovulation
But had early miscarriage...

Awaiting to hear back from hospital consultant re checking to see if im estrogen dominant
Or not..
A gastro consultant that im under the care of feels those tests are worthwhile

Hmm I’m thinking of having a break in March purely as I don’t really feel a baby in December would be that good and may mean for my lovely little man Christmas wouldnt be as magical. I guess I am thinking it’s only a month, in grand scheme of life it’s nothing but I am undecided if to have a break or not yet.

I am 39 in September - j had hoped to have given birth by time I was 39… but it’s not meant to be. I don’t think a break of a couple of a months means you’re not serious etc- it’s life and sometimes other things take priority for a period of time. I don’t think 38 is a big concern in terms of your age but with partner and other child to consider there are a few factors at play.

its so hard.

i am in the TWW but don’t think it’s our month, not even bothering to test really (yet!)! Which is good!! Haha I am stronger than I thought!

You sound like your thought process is very similar to mine. I actually follow the child free threads and try and get some more perspectives, which has given me more food for thought.

My mental health is also a big reason why I swing back and forth on whether it's best for us.

To be honest, I know in my heart of hearts that it won't happen for us naturally (tests staring in a few weeks) not sure why, just my intuition. And we both said we don't want to go through Ivf.

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

God, I feel like I've put a right downer on this thread now 😂

@overthinkersanonnymus not a downer at all. Just being realistic about where we are all at is normal and is pretty healthy really. Also you can't get support for stuff unless you are honest about it 😊

Thanks @SnookyPook @overthinkersanonnymus @Lalaland13 @worldwidetravel2017 @jellyfish2210 and sorry anyone I have forgotten.
I think it’s just age makes these things feel so much more urgent and ‘now or never’.
I have only been able to make peace with the fact that I will never be 100% decided one way or another about having a second. My decision to TTC has been based on not wanting to regret not trying, in case I find myself 3-4 years down the line and wishing I had.
having an older child I can see that I am lucky as my life is much easier than when she was younger, so there are lots of freedoms available to me that I would lose if we do have another.
I think I will probably keep TTC because in my head one year of it is enough to have given it a good go.
I was delighted when I found I was pregnant in Dec (unfortunately was a mmc).
I think I am just an overthinker, it can be helpful at times but in some situations in gets in the way of taking action.
thanks again and good luck to you all xx

Hope everyone is okay today!

My period starting a bit earlier this month I think - day 24! I wonder if last months chemical made this months cycle a bit shorter than normal… hmm. Any ideas?

I think we will try in March now as presumably ovulate earlier and if we did get lucky would be due earlier December so feel less impact on DS Xmas. Prob won’t happen anyway!

Even my husband is starting to get impatient now about having next baby, a few months ago he was telling me to relax and asking why am I worried!!!

I think we will also try in March, a Dec due date would be around 17th for me which whilst not ideal, i think is probably preferable to 14th Jan.
My little boy is 23rd Jan and I'd prefer not to have 2 Jan birthdays but beggars can't be choosers!

Today is the end of my fertile window so going to try and squeeze in 1 more BD before a work trip away tomorrow

Ooh good luck for March @Lalaland13 @SouthwestSis

we are going to skip a cycle or two for various reasons but I will continue to follow everyone’s journey on here every so often!

Hopefully you’ll get lucky this month @SouthwestSis ! Oh yeah I had thought didn’t went two birthdays same month but I’m getting a lot less fussy now 😂😂 I thought Jan birthday good to brighten up a generally depressing month!

following the thread for a while.
I was discharged yesterday after having surgical removal of an ectopic pregnancy... and my right tube with it.
It not just the physical and emotion turmoil of that but I really want to take a break. I turn 38 in July but also go on a big busy holiday in July and just feel safer to wait until after that... but I do similarly have a niggle that I may not want to TTC again but also that im wasting time.
So weepy today and not making any decisions for a while but it is tough knowing whats right when so conflicted.

@Hayl777 so sorry to hear about your experience, that sounds really tough. I think a bit of time to just emotionally process is important. I didn’t think I needed it after the surgical miscarriage in early Jan but then broke down a bit recently and realised a break was needed. A couple of months in the grand scheme of things really doesn’t matter. Mental health is important , I don’t want to start a new pregnancy in an already anxious and knackered state. Sending the best to you xx 💐

Hi everyone, you've not seen me for 6 months or so....

I haven't followed everyone I'm so sorry, I do recognise some of you though. @VixFromThe6ix how are you doing? Last time I saw your iui (is that the right name??) Had worked?? I'm really hoping you've had good luck?? Thank you so much for keeping this thread alive xx

@CurlyWurly1991 and @SnookyPook I remember you, I hope you are doing well? Xx

Month 17 over here, absolutely no news. I've had a scan and cd2-5 and 18 blood tests and I'm perfectly healthy. Coming up close on 39 in a few months though :( I do have one fibroid 6cm but it's not inside the womb lining ie no concern. I had a tonne of them with my son and one was 15cm and I carried him fine.

Tmi about my partner coming up..

My partner failed to do his test in the clinic, age 7 his foreskin split and he had a traumatic circumcision so he finds maturation hard at the best of times (v tight) so that coupled with the environment just didn't work and he chafed himself. I felt so guilty.

Anyway we managed to arrange an at home sample and that was fine (aside from speeding 45mins to the clinic to get it there in time!!) But that was 3 weeks ago and apparently there are delays!!! Getting him to arrange the test in the first place took a year and getting him to follow up is painful... I think he's really worried although last time he was fine. He is taking all the right vitamins and exercising. He's not overweight. He doesn't eat particularly healthy and he deals with so much stress at work. He always had a low sex drive and once a week would have been fine for him even early in our relationship, but post parenthood it's more like once every 3 weeks! He's been amazing at getting the job done and doesn't have any issues that way if that makes sense, but every month he is great at first but loses drive/energy as we get towards the key date!! I've been trying to get him to 3x over the fertile period but it's been tough. We had a chat recently and he said that every 2 days is too much for him and can we try every 3 days... we are also gonna go for ivf as soon as his results are back. We both really want this and he is such a great dad and a decent enough partner and I love him dearly. This sex drive thing is something that isn't a big deal for me in relationship terms but obviously when it comes to baby making it's pretty essential...

Anyway that's where I am. This month was his test on cd9. Then we dtd cd12 and argued on cd14, 15 and 16. The pressure is so much at this point and its not fair as we really have tried in plenty of previous months.... on cd13 I did an ovulation test (I am really lax at this) and it was super strong positive so I'm guessing I ovd on cd13 or 14? So I guess we have a chance-ish. Cd29 now and I guess based on that test I'm due today? No sign of af but don't feel pregnant and can't face testing, prefer to just wait for the inevitable bleed presumably later today or tomorrow. Dreamed I was pregnant :(

Decided to come back on here as I am really feeling the strain on our relationship, and also on my mental health now, and it's not fair cos I've been so chilled so far. Month 16 was a big deal for me as that's the longest I've tried before falling pregnant previously. I also stupidly confided in my mil that month we were going for ivf and she was really judgemental (well more cold really and only said "what about your fibroids" and looked really disapproving).. haven't told oh about that as he is understandably sensitive about his mum.

Dr also told me I have a 30% chance with ivf at 38 but only 20% at 39 and I'm 39 in 3 months and it's taken months and months to drag oh to get his test done.

Meh really. Not lost hope but I think the issues with my partner are stressing me out the most. Can we all cross fingers for his test results please? If they've lost it after it basically took him a year to arrange I'll be devastated..

We are gonna try 2 rounds ivf and that's it :(

@MOGMOGMOG85 hi, so nice to hear from you! And I'm sorry to read about what you're going through. It sounds so frustrating. But please be hopeful and stay positive. Age does not play in our favor but it's not the end all these days. I had my son at 38.... and I'm 40 and 25weeks now with my second. We did IUI which is also a low percentage chance if you read about it but we got pregnant on our second cycle. Dont let statistics stress you out. If youre healthy and hubbys sperm is good, you got every chance anyone else doea. My husband is the one having issues this time with low sperm count and motility and zero sex drive. (He's on medication now and his permanent count has increased to normal levels now just working on motility and libido, but at least pressure is not on him now.) I felt like it's never going to happen.... I mean, how would it if we don't have sex? So iUi was a God sent. I hope ivf is that for you. I asked one of the nurses during my scan if they have many 40yr old patients and she said oldest she's had was 58. So we are still young chickens you and I ;) all my fingers are crossed for you!!

@MOGMOGMOG85 hello! Welcome back to the thread ☺️ That sounds like a lot you've been dealing with so I'm glad you've felt able to return for some company into this next phase. Keeping everything crossed for your DHs results. What a stress for you both.

I can't remember where my story was up to the last time you were on. Unfortunately I had two further pregnancy losses after my MMC in April but then had a surprise BFP as we were waiting for our referral to fertility consultant and, to my ongoing surprise/relief/joy this one seems to be sticking. Almost at 17wks now and heard heartbeat yesterday. It still feels very surreal but I'm beginning to relax into it a little bit. I'll also be 39 at the end of the year so I know the statistics can feel a bit doom and gloom but hopefully my story can provide a little hope for you.

Do you already have an appointment for the IVF clinic or are you waiting for all tests etc before going there? Sorry if I missed that part. Xx

@VixFromThe6ix ah I'm so so so so pleased to hear your news! 25 weeks is incredible, and wow I'm so pleased you have your little family growing after all that and at your age too! (Sorry its actually awful to hear 'at your age' I hope you know what I mean!)

58 knocked me out of my seat, I'm def gonna consider myself a spring chicken now xD

Need to start taking my proceive max again. I kinda lost hope and stopped because I'm not a breakfast person and so struggle to take it with food in the morning, then I give up... maybe should take it at lunch?? Guess it doesn't matter so much!

@SnookyPook such amazing news for you!!! 17 weeks and that beautiful heartbeat is so incredible. Do you have any other surviving children? I'm so happy for you and wishing you all the best on the rest of your journey xx

As soon as my husbands results are in I'm gonna be on that phone booking in for the ivf. Havent made that call yet so right at the beginning. Just crossing everything his sperm is OK as it was before - we just seem to suffer unexplained sub-fertility even when we were young and trying for our son.

Thanks everyone for your supportive welcome. Sometimes it all feels a bit much to be on here but when you need it this thread is incredible xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 ah thank you lovely. Yes, I have a son who just turned 3 a month ago. Appreciate your good wishes. Sending some your way too! Hopefully your DHs sperm is still in tip top shape and you can proceed to next steps with some confidence. 🙏🏼💕

Hey all.

Hope your all well

I have my colonoscopy date for this month - woohoo
Progress

Also an urgent referal was done for endocrinology last month which may be very helpful - awaiting the date for that

Holiday this month

Feeling hopeful

Had a private progsterone test yest - awaiting results 4 that - hard to time that test perfectly

Hoping we can try in a couple of months

Partner and i have lost some weight

Sounds like going well @worldwidetravel2017 hope all your health concerns subside soon and you get your BFP quickly, sending love.

hello @MOGMOGMOG85 hope all your results come back good and you can crack on with IVF soonest!

ohh gosh @Hayl777 that sounds so awful. You poor thing 😢 sending strength!

I randomly read back in some thread this morning as I was awake before my son for once! He has slept in til 745 this weekend! I read someone said they have grapefruit juice to get more CM?! Is that a thing? I feel like this month there wasn’t much so was difficult to know when ovulating. Am wondering if I didn’t as shorter cycle and after chemical! Raaa! My predicted dates for this month per flo are a bri confusing too! Am away with work when I think I might but only one night but leaving super early and back lack! So prob wipes out 2 days!!!

@Lalaland13 yes that is true about the grapefruit juice! I have never been able to find any in the shops 😂

Welcome back @MOGMOGMOG85 !!

@Lalaland13 Yes grapefruit juice is apparently great for this. I buy it from Tesco but freshly squeezed is nicer 🤤

@worldwidetravel2017 sounds like you are on top of things!

its been so nice not to do any tracking or temping this cycle.
had a big chat with DD10 today about potential of having another baby. She was NOT impressed and quite upset about the idea. Eventually came round a bit and said it might be quite nice, although she’s mainly focused on the negatives. I have to say that does play on my mind a lot, I guess it does with anyone contemplating a second or more.

I don’t think I will like having grapefruit - I love sweet stuff! I remember my dad drinking it when I was a kid and thinking it was gross 😂😂

Awh I am sure she would come around fairly quickly @CurlyWurly1991

Its nice having a sibling a fair bit younger - I have a brother 16 years younger than me and he was such fun! Although my other brother .. who is 2 years younger than me … literally cried when my mum told him she was having a baby, he was so annoyed!! 😂😂 same parents FYI .., my mum had cysts on her ovaries with me and I think was told may not be able to conceive when older!! Then at 36 she had another … total accident whilst taking the pill!

Any progesterone pros ?

If your ovulation was day 17 ,/ 18..

And on day 26 - your progsterone was 19.8

Would you be happy with that level ?

Thanks

Sorry no a scooby doo @worldwidetravel2017

@Lalaland13 aw thanks I appreciate that.

@worldwidetravel2017 I think that over 30 is ideal to confirm ovulation, but from what I’ve heard some NHS trusts are happy with 20 or even 15. I think it shows that you’ve ovulated at that level, but the GP might say ‘it could be higher’. Have they offered to repeat it in another cycle? I got like 29.3 the first time and the GP wanted to repeat it.