TTC after ectopic/after loss/older age etc ALL WELCOME 🙂

[YellowZ]

Hello,

Would anyone like to join a thread for TTC after ectopic/miscarriage, or when facing other challenges eg age, PCOS etc? DP and I have just decided to try again for no2, and I'm going to come off the pill. It would be nice to have some buddies to share experiences and support each other 🙂

About me:

Pregnancy 1: conceived first cycle age 35, healthy pregnancy, DS born summer 2021 (now age 2)

Pregnancy 2: conceived first cycle age 37, ectopic, surgery November 2022

My plan is to eat well, exercise, cut out alcohol, and generally look after myself.

Because I got pregnant quickly both times, I'm hoping our chances are still good...no idea how only having the one fallopian tube is going to affect things 😬

I think I'll do OPKs but not sure about temping yet.

Would love to hear from others!

@MrsB2019x
I am soo sorry 😔. I hope you have a good support network around you to get you through this. Sending lots of love.

@MrsB2019x that's so frustrating for you. Hopefully nothing happens in the mean time, but if it does you'll get through it. But hopefully surgery will be what resolves everything. I know this in between period is really horrible just waiting for stuff to be sorted. Hope you're able to take it as easy as you can x

Sorry @MrsB2019x, I hope you get through the weekend OK. How's the bleeding now? Get lots of rest.

@MrsB2019x very sorry to hear the news. I found out about my MMC on the Tuesday had to have a follow up appointment the Thur and was booked for surgery the following tues so a week later just to give you my timings.
this waiting part in between is v hard x

@MrsB2019x I'm sorry you have to wait until Wednesday. I hope nothing happens before then so you get your surgery. Try to take it easy meantime x

Hi ladies. This seems like a lovely thread so I hope you don't mind me joining. I'm currently going through a loss, waiting for it to pass. I was 7 weeks when I discovered baby had stopped growing. Still bleeding nearly a week later 😭

I know 7 weeks is still early, but I'm concerned I'll need medication because the sac was still there on Thursday and they want to see me again in a week to rescan 😭 anyone ever have tablets for a miscarriage at 7 weeks?

Also, I've been off work sick all week. Hospital have told me to take another week and a half off. I just don't know what to do.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Sending lots of love ❤️

Thanks ladies, cramps ramped up last night and bleeding got a bit worse but it seems to have settled overnight. We’ll see what today brings.

Sorry you’re going through the same journey too @Bb542 🩷 Is your rescan next Thursday? Such a long time to wait 😔

@Bb542 It’s so hard with the in between time. Difficult to know what will happen when. Sending you lots of hugs xx

@MrsB2019x I remember all the waiting, I found out about the MMC just under 8 weeks (private scan) then was 9 when nhs scan confirmed it and a few days past that when I had the surgery. So it amounted to about 12 days altogether waiting to see if the miscarriage would happen naturally and I was so worried, we had builders in the house and I have an older child that didn’t know I was pregnant etc. In the end I had a lot of unusual cramping in the night but nothing else and I got to surgery in the end. I was so worried about it but once EPAU have you on their books they will hopefully be able to support with whatever happens, mine were great once I got ‘in’ so to speak. Sending you the best xx

@Bb542 so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard. I've had medical management twice, one at 9 weeks (that was a blighted ovum) and once just over 10 weeks for MMC. Both times were successful and worked well and quickly for me. I know there are mixed reviews about medical management. Just need to be on top of pain meds I found. Sending strength and hugs.

Thank you all so much. It's such a weird time, isn't it? Waiting for it to happen. One minute I feel totally fine and the next I'm in pain and can't stop crying 😔 it's sad but I don't know if I'll ever be excited to get a positive pregnancy test again. I know I'll just be filled with anxiety.

I had a private scan on Monday, which showed an empty sac and that the pregnancy had stopped progressing. They referred me to EPU in hospital on Thursday. They couldn't see anything in the abdominal scan so did a transvaginal and found an empty sac. They said they expect it to pass naturally but want to see me again on Thursday to see if it's happened. So a bit of a waiting game.

How soon did you all return to work after a loss? He been signed off by both GP and hospital for 2 weeks, which I wasn't expecting.

@Bb542 I'm so sorry, this is exactly how I felt/ still feel at times. I was signed off for 2 weeks after my surgery so I've been off for 3 weeks and going back tomorrow. I could probably do with another week but I want to get back to normality. I feel like things dragged on for me as I wanted my little one back and that only happened yesterday and buried them this morning so feels very raw and has been an emotional two days. Before that I was doing ok. I took a card into the hospital and the nurse that discharged me was there, she recognised me straight away, asked how I was and I burst into tears! She gave me a hug, she was lovely.
There will be times you're fine and then just have a cry randomly, it's totally normal. A family member had a MMC years ago and told me she still has a cry now and again when she thinks about I all. I really hope you're ok, it's just an absolute shitty thing to happen. I completely empathise with you 🩷
Also I've been listening to the worst girl gang ever podcasts about people's experiences of loss and even though at points it's so sad, it just shows how many people go through this horrible experience which makes me feel less alone. Sorry for the long post!

Omg, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all of this. How many weeks were you? It sounds like you've been through more than anyone should have to go through. I can only imagine that the burial was really tough and emotional and you're so strong for getting through it ❤️ if you're not ready to go back to work, don't be afraid to take another few days off. I'm sure your GP won't mind at all.
Do you mind me asking about the surgery? Did you expect to have it or was it elective? Don't feel like you have to answer. I imagine you have explained all this already and I can read over your posts ❤️ anyway, I'm really thinking of you as you navigate this hard time ❤️ there are brighter times ahead for all of us I hope xx

@Bb542 thank you 🩷 so it was my 12 week scan and baby was measuring 8 weeks. I had no bleeding and had all the pregnancy symptoms, even after I was told the news. It's just torture.
Everything just happened so fast, in the scan room then whisked into the room noone ever expects to be in. The nurse gave all the options which just felt like so much info but I had the option. Since it had been 4 weeks and I had no symptoms, I didn't want to wait. Infact I cried even more at the thought because I knew it would be like contractions so I was certain once I got my head round it that I wanted to have surgery under general anaesthetic. Definitely best decision for me and I would recommend it. Have a read through the posts yeah but also feel free to message if you have any more questions 🩷

It’s so hard isn’t it. Your whole world comes crumbling down and you know, that no pregnancy will ever be the same again. I think someone has mentioned it on here but I read worst girl gang ever, literally 5 days after I lost my daughter at 16 weeks last year. I sobbed the whole way though it, but it’s what I reccomend to everyone one now. Our first scan is Tuesday, 8 weeks exactly today. I’m really having to get my self geared up for a scan. @jellyfish2 i was like you, no symptoms at all. It was at this point I learned it’s the sack that gives off the hormones and not the baby, I never knew that. I had to deliver my beautiful daughter, it was the only option. It all just seems like it was yesterday. I have learned that grief comes and goes, but what important is that you allow yourself to feel those moments and to feel the pain. It means it was real.

Aw @Nic2908 I'm so sorry to read that you lost your daughter. Was yours a MMC too then? Just awful.
I didn't know it was the sac, no-one has told me that! Did you find any logical reason as to why your body doesn't realise? It still gets me that there's these unanswered questions but I know I need to try and move on from that.
I wish you all the luck in the world for Tuesday, I know how anxious you must be feeling. How are you?

@jellyfish2 As hard as it is, it’s lovely they gave you your baby back. Did you bury them somewhere you can go and visit?

@Bb542 I totally empathise with emotions being everywhere and the future TTC. I feel like I’m never going to enjoy a pregnancy again. I hope things start moving naturally
for you, the waiting is hideous.

Wishing you the best of luck for your scan on Tuesday @Nic2908 🤞

I miscarried at home this afternoon, ended up getting sent to A&E because I lost a lot of blood. EPU is closed over the weekend and gynae won’t see me because my heart rate is too high (over 100bpm). I just want to be scanned and told I’m done ☹️

That was exactly what you didn't want, so sorry @MrsB2019x. How long have you been in A&E now?

@MrsB2019x oh love, so sorry to hear that happened. I hope you're not kept waiting too long. I've found that so frustrating before re EPU being Monday to Friday... that's not the schedule our bodies work to! Thinking of you x

@CatCaretaker Just over 2 hours. Had bloods done but that’s about it. Not a sniff of paracetamol 😂 luckily cramps aren’t too bad now.

@Bumblesbee84 I know right! EPU are amazing but the opening hours really let it down ☹️

@MrsB2019x yeah I'm so grateful we could grt he/she back and it was a lovely wooden box with a wooden butterfly on it too that we were given. I expected something clinical but I'm glad it wasn't. We buried the remains in our garden which is a comfort.

I'm so sorry you miscarried naturally. Will you end up having to go home?

@MrsB2019x I'm so sorry, that sounds scary and sad. Hope it's all over now. Is your DP with you?

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone, heartbreaking to go through. Hopefully sharing makes things a tiny bit easier.

Good luck for Tuesday @Nic2908 will be keeping my fingers crossed.

@jellyfish2 Oh that’s so lovely that they’re at home 🥹 I was never given the option when doing all my surgery paperwork the other day

@YellowZ Thanks lovely, no he’s at home with DD but he was amazing juggling looking after her and seeing to me!

@MrsB2019x im so sorry that you had to go through what you didn’t want. I really hope an and e pull their finger out and get you treated and home with your loved ones where you need to be as soon as possible.

@jellyfish2 they never really found a cause on the pm. The only thing that came up was that her cord had 2 vessels instead of the usual 3 and so she was never going to be getting enough blood. But that doesn’t always lead to miscarriage, I guess you could call it a missed miscarriage. I’ve never thought of it that way. I believe my body wanted to desperately be pregnant it didn’t want to let go of what was no longer there.

I can’t remember if I said it on here before, but someone said to me “some babies just want to know what it feels to be loved. That really love that only a mother can give to their baby, and then that’s enough for them. They go and they take that love and they use it to protect and guide the ones that we love the most” I really love that, and I still believe it to be true.

it sucks to be on this thread, because it means we have all been through something traumatic. But I’m really glad that we can help eachother through what ever comes next. You’re all lovely.

@Nic2908 I have tears streaming down my face reading that 🩷it's a lovely way to think about it. I'm sorry you lost your daughter so far on, it's just so unfair isn't it. Not having answers too must make it so difficult if nothing concrete showed up on the PM.
It is comforting chatting to others in a similar position and sharing experiences.
Please update us with how you get on at your scan.