TTC after ectopic/after loss/older age etc ALL WELCOME 🙂

[YellowZ]

Hello,

Would anyone like to join a thread for TTC after ectopic/miscarriage, or when facing other challenges eg age, PCOS etc? DP and I have just decided to try again for no2, and I'm going to come off the pill. It would be nice to have some buddies to share experiences and support each other 🙂

About me:

Pregnancy 1: conceived first cycle age 35, healthy pregnancy, DS born summer 2021 (now age 2)

Pregnancy 2: conceived first cycle age 37, ectopic, surgery November 2022

My plan is to eat well, exercise, cut out alcohol, and generally look after myself.

Because I got pregnant quickly both times, I'm hoping our chances are still good...no idea how only having the one fallopian tube is going to affect things 😬

I think I'll do OPKs but not sure about temping yet.

Would love to hear from others!

@YellowZ
😂 you will only know with time. 😉

@SnookyPook I am so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope they are able to find the cause after investigations.
And your MH is definitely top most priority you have to think of yourself first I am saying this as i had really bad Posnatal with my last dc and nobody in the family seemed to understand how difficult things were. Take the time to heal my love and I hope the very best for you.

@SnookyPook What a year you have had 😔 Please be gentle to yourself, you have been through a lot. Hopefully your appointment can give you some answers and they can do something to help you

@SnookyPook what a year you have had. Fully feel you on the imaginary family photos. It’s a tough one isn’t it.

Hi OP I'm not TTC (currently 10 weeks pg with twins) but this was my story:

38 - TTC for 5 months, ectopic and right tube removal

39 - TTC for 4 months and pregnant with twins. Praying for healthy pregnancy and babies🙏🏻

Hope this gives hope to you all! 💓

@Sealover123 thanks for your good news story, and wishing you all the best!

@SnookyPook very sorry to hear of all your struggles. Fingers crossed they can find a cause.

Hey guys, hoping I can join!

Here's my story:

Started trying in Aug and got pregnant straight away. Found out it was ectopic at 6 weeks (although nothing could be found in my tubes). Treated with expectant management.

Around 5 weeks later I had a long heavy period & started tracking from then.

I'm now 2 days late but had a negative test. I've had persistent dull cramping on my left side for 4 days and feeling nauseous which I assumed was PMS but it hasn't turned up.

Were everyone's cycles messed up after ectopic? I never tracked ovulation but I had all the major symptoms and we we've pretty much baby danced every day for the last two weeks (honeymoon!) which would be the middle two of my cycle.

Any ideas?

To top things off my best friend is pregnant and my sister in law announced she's is too and is due two weeks after what I would have been. Really struggling to watch her go through everything I thought I would get to at the same time. 🥺
Thanks xx

@Sealover123 thanks so much for posting. That's lovely to hear - it definitely helps hearing the success stories ☺️ especially as we're the same age. Congratulations on your twins! Hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Welcome @Loz1006 👋thanks for sharing your story too. Sorry about the ectopic.

Congratulations on your wedding!! Hmm I wonder if you ovulated later than usual this month? Someone up thread mentioned they ovulate later now, after their ectopic. But it might just have been holiday/wedding excitement, being in a different place, etc?

Hopefully you'll get an answer soon!

It's definitely difficult when people around you are pregnant... My sister is expecting in March, and I think that's pushed me towards ttc again. I was sad around what would have been the baby's due date this summer, too. I guess it takes a while to heal. It can be hard not to feel envious.

How's everyone else doing?

Just pottering about here doing OPKs and hoping to get a positive before too long 🙂

Ooh update. Just got this!

Premom is reading it at 0.8 so not quite peak...but I'm not sure if I've messed up the testing and LH is on the way down already.

Lots of ewcm this afternoon, so together it's an exciting sign!

Definitely dtd tonight and tomorrow!

5 days off the pill 🫢 fingers crossed it's my right side haha.

@YellowZ That looks promising! What CD are you? I’m on CD4 and thinking I’ll probably start doing LH tests next week

@MrsB2019x I don't have an official cycle day actually as I've recently come off the pill and haven't had a period yet. I've been doing OPKs to try catch that first ovulation.

TTC without having had a period first does slightly worry me... I don't know why... I guess I'm paranoid about increasing the chances of something going wrong! I'm a worrier anyway. I've googled it before and I think the recommendation is to wait until after your first period/bleed... But I think that's more from a dating perspective.

Of course DS has decided he's not going to sleep this evening haha 😂😭

Have you done LH tests before btw @MrsB2019x ?

Joining the club please! I’m already on several TTC threads but it’s so helpful to see lots of different stories, especially where there are similar experiences.

Pregnancy 1 - conceived 2nd cycle off the combined pill, easy pregnancy (except for lockdowns etc) and had DD in Nov 2020 aged 34

Pregnancy 2 - conceived 2nd cycle off the mini pill, bled a week or so later = CP aged 37

Pregnancy 3 - conceived first cycle after CP, MMC at 12 weeks in April 2023 aged 37. Horribly complicated, took nearly 3 months to resolve physically. (Still sad!)

Now aged 38 and on CD4 of third cycle trying. It’s previously happened by now so have been a bit upset and worried but I know it’s not long in the grand scheme of things. But like others have said, I had ideals in my mind (my age, sibling age gap…) and I’m just frustrated and sad that we basically lost a year to the MMC with nothing to show for it.

Looking forward to sharing the journey!

@Sealover123 WOW!! Huge congratulations. So much love coming your way and thank you for the hope.

@Loz1006 ferl your pain watching others around you. We are so cruel on ourselves it’s untrue. I’m such a nice and positive person, not bitter by any of it. But my college who was due the same week as me, I honestly couldn’t look at her. It hurt my heart.

@Oxalis00 Welcome. I’m just waiting for my period for cycle one. I know how you feel, my first little boy I was pregnant at 34 pregnant first cycle. Second pregnancy again first time but miscarried at 16 weeks in March. I’m worried that I’m going to put so much pressure on myself if it doesn’t happen within the first couple of cycles which is so silly isn’t it. Why do we put ourselves under these expectations?

@YellowZ
keeping all fingers crossed for you.
I am currently Cd7 and was hoping For tips on using Opks as have never used them before. Please can you give me some tips maybe even the link of which ones are good that would be really appreciated.

@Sealover123
🥳 congratulations

@Loz1006
Ever so sorry. The pain us women go through emotionally and physically is just insane where as the men have it so much easier even ttc is fun for them. 😏

@Oxalis00
Hi welcome
I am on a similar cycle to yours I am currently CD7 just about 3 days ahead but that maybe because I had an earlier AF this month which was so confusing coz i have never been early before. Its going to be my 2 cycle this one of ttc have my fingers toes everything crossed at this rate.

@Nic2908
Hi Nic i think my hello got lost in transit somewhere. Its nice to have everyone to talk to on here its really good moral/emotional support.

@YellowZ sorry OP I have been reading through all of the messages and realised I didn’t reply! I paid privately for my HyCoSy, the doctor said he felt it was unnecessary but I feel like I had some peace of mind.

I had my static smiley on my clear blue ovulation test today! It is heartbreaking reading the stories on here, wishing baby dust to everyone.

Hey guys, I'd like to join in!

I'm 34. Conceived my first pregnancy on cycle 3 in July and had a MMC in September. I'm on my first cycle of trying to conceive since my medical management. Currently on holiday in America so managed to buy to some FRERs and was negative at 10DPO today so fairly convinced I'm out this cycle. Not sure how I feel about it - we didn't hit the best days so I wasn't expecting much but it's the wee tiny what if in the back of my head that seems to always be there that makes the negative rough!

I've started taking ubiquinol and high dose methyfolate and once I get back from holiday I want to try and lose some weight. I'm only about 5-8 kgs over where I'd like to be so maybe that will give me a focus that isn't TTC!

Wishing you all positive OPKs and HPTs 🩷

Welcome @Oxalis00 and @Bugdem123 nice to have you here.

@Lostlawyer26 wahoo for a static smiley!

@Annonomous29 I use the easy@home OPKs with the premom app. I'll add a link to the ones I bought.

If you're CD7 then ideally you'd be testing from now. You usually get a positive 24-36hrs before ovulation. Say you usually ovulate on cd14, you'd expect to see your positive OPK on cd12.

Sorry if you know all this already! Wasn't sure what level of knowledge you're starting with.

So a "positive" OPK is one where the test line is at least as dark as the control line. Lots of women will get a faint test line all through their cycles, so you are looking out for the point where that test line gets really dark. Then ovulation is probably a day or 2 away.

You really want to be having sex the day you get your positive OPK, plus the day after. It's good to have the sperm up there and waiting for the egg to pop out. Dtd just before ovulation gives you the best chance of conceiving.

Ok tips - apparently it's better to test between 10am and 8pm. I tend to have a pee around 12pm, and then don't drink anything for a few hours and test around 4pm. But I guess you experiment and see what works best for you.

Some people peak really fast, other people have a slower peak. It's good to test twice a day from day cd10 or 11 so you don't miss it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00DOJG6RA/?encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00DOJG6RA&ref=sxts_sparkle_sbv&qid=1700212741&pd_rd_w=Ra3i6&content-id=amzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666%3Aamzn1.sym.632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_p=632045c6-bd11-46a2-8a95-3c8490cff666&pf_rd_r=2T2YYNWK059BQSPG8YNZ&pd_rd_wg=pJs3v&pd_rd_r=9a43e780-3a37-4132-b6cf-87a23db480a8&pd_rd_plhdr=t&th=1&psc=1

That's what I have.

I've also attached an example (from the cycle I had the ectopic 😥) My peak is quite a fast one.

This is really long! I need to go to Sainsbury's as well so will leave the rest for later haha.

Hi all, I'd love to join in. I recognise a few names from other threads but find these so helpful and reassuring.

My story;

Pregnancy 1: conceived first month of trying, all was going well until anomaly scan where we were told the worst news ever. Our beautiful daughter was stillborn after a devastating TFMR at 25 weeks. Still very raw and each subsequent loss has compounded this.

Pregnancy 2: spent some months recovering mentally and physically. Fell pregnant again second month of trying in May but ended in a CP.

Pregnancy 3: fell pregnant again in august, MC at 5+4 (not sure if this is considered a CP?).

EPU (who have been incredible) then sent me for a lot of blood tests, all have come back normal or in range and now waiting on consultant appointment. We've decided to continue trying in the meantime, taking deep breaths and trying to remain calm (and busy!). We don't have any earth side children and sometimes I struggle that all of this has happened to us in the last year x

I'm 38 next month
Pcos and male factor
Trying 18 years.
1 natural pregnancy that ended in mc last December
Currently 5 weeks via ivf

@YellowZ All the OPK stuff was helpful, thank you! I did use them last time but not religiously. I’ve got the Premom app this time so I can track them. The thing is the cycle we conceived our daughter, I didn’t have a positive OPK or any ovulation symptoms whatsoever.. so weird! I was so convinced I didn’t ovulate that month.
How do you get around testing twice a day at those times? I work 3 days a week and can’t get away with carrying those and a pot with me to work 🙈

Hi @Vic231 and @MoonIightDreamer lovely to have you join. Really sorry to hear about your experiences Vic 💐 fingers crossed the consultant can offer some good advice.

Oh great @MrsB2019x glad it was handy. Umm... could you have a few paper cups in your bag for peeing into, and throw them away in the santiary towel bin? That's my plan. I was thinking if I'm in work when my LH surge is due, I'd test at 8am before I leave and 4pm at work after a 4hr hold. Possibly not ideal timings.

To be honest though I do get ewcm and quite horny 😂 apparently when I'm having my LH surge so hopefully I'll have a good heads up anyway haha.

I had a peak test this morning and a lower test this afternoon. So fingers crossed for ovulation tomorrow maybe - will dtd again tonight.

Also I MIGHT HAVE TAKEN POAS TO ANOTHER LEVEL by ordering some progesterone urine tests to check to see if I've ovulated 🫢 Apparently that's a thing now.

@Oxalis00 I meant to say, I can see myself beginning to worry if it doesn't happen after a few cycles too - like a few of us on here, I also conceived first cycle both times. So that's given me a high expectations this time round as well. So totally understand why you'd be stressing! So sorry about your miscarriage and the aftermath - at least my ectopic was easily resolved. Things dragging on must be incredibly difficult.

@Lostlawyer26 haha don't worry, I think I asked too many questions on one post haha. I feel like it definitely would make sense to be offered a HyCoSy, but I'm not surprised the NHS said no.

@Bugdem123 I lost 5-6kg over the summer and feel so much more like myself. I've cut out a lot of the sugar I was eating too, which I'd got into the habit of while breastfeeding and being extremely sleep deprived. I've found running again helpful as well, in that it's helping to show me that my body is still strong, if that makes sense? So definitely agree it's a good thing to do for yourself and your MH.

Thanks for your consoling words @YellowZ - it’s helpful to know the thoughts and fears are shared! Let us know how you get on with those PdG tests! I can see the appeal - one more milestone in the cycle, one more checkbox of reassurance to cling to! Please also let me know how to stop eating so much sugar…!!

Nice to hear so many other stories, it's great to be able to hear / talk to others here.

@Vic231 very sorry to hear of everything you've been through.

@MoonIightDreamer 18 years! How did you keep your spirits up over such a long time? Wishing you all the best this time round.

@Loz1006 I know how you feel watching others. Two of my closest friends have announced pregnancies and had their babies while we've been trying, and, while happy for them, it's somehow disheartening.

Currently CD6, but don't ovulate till about CD17 - CD21 (long cycles) so a while to go yet.

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I've stopped checking in on here everyday so a bit out the loop. @YellowZ I did start taking CoQ10 after my CP so guess my eggs should be benefitting from that from Dec onwards! 🤞🏻

Hope everyone is doing ok this eve. We've sent toddler off to my MiLs and having a date night. Determined to have some fun for the next few weeks and try and get back to a better headspace!

@Oxalis00 yeah exactly, one more checkbox, very well-put. Of course I'm like 'next month I won't do OPKs I'll take it easy, it's just for this first month'. Hmm, let's see how that plays out...

I do think TTC is one of those things where the more you look for answers/try to settle fears through googling, the more questions you end up with. So the pdg tests could backfire if they don't give a clear result.

Sugar - I did 16:8 and made sure I wasn't having any snacks, just a healthy lunch and dinner. I noticed a difference within just a few days, much less bloated and sluggish. I think being super strict for a couple of months helped me break the habit. I'm trying to stick to the no snacks principle, which is easy except for when I'm at work where people are already bringing in mince pies etc.