TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

Here 🙋‍♀️ my first ever mmc in early may was supposed be hitting 12 weeks, scan showed 9 week sac and 6 week baby 😪

My first ovulation was 18th June, I've felt absolutely horrid since, cramps were awful yesterday and blood when I wiped so did frer and got this... But nothing on clear blue this morning so probably evap 🤦‍♀️ but I'm still cramping, no more blood at all either.

Fingers crossed for everyone 🤞

@Kellyaust oh I'm so sorry 😞 it must've been such a horrible shock for you.

I see something on the test! I hope it's not an evap and it's your rainbow saying hello for the first time ❤️. Keep testing!

I'm starting our rainbow journey in the coming weeks. I had a TFMR recently due to severe anomalies found at the 20 week scan, my sweetie was born earlier this month and we then laid him to rest last week.

Hoping for the all clear to start trying again from the docs on Fri 🤞🏻.

@Halpmer thank you, i have a feeling its an evap... The first time I've ever had an evap on frer and it's the time I want to see a positive the most 🤦‍♀️

I am so sorry you went though that my gosh I can't imagine how that must have felt 😩 absolutely heartbreaking cruel world

@Kellyaust are you 9dpo though? I've had lines look like this with both my previous pregnancies at this stage, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

It's a cruel world at times and it's definitely been one of the hardest things I've been through, but I've learnt a lot about myself and life in general... and it's only made us want even more children 😅 so here's to new beginnings!

Not to say we won't keep our lost boy in our hearts of course ❤️ he was named etc... just don't want to put myself too much 😂

@Halpmer I am indeed 9dpo...well all I can do is hope and pray, but if the dreaded witch arrives then at least I can have a clean slate so either way I think I'll be ok... 🤞

Same tbh I didn't realise how much I wanted more until my mmc 😅 let snake sure this thread keeps going so we can keep in touch I'd love to see how you get on 🤞

Hi 👋 I'd like to join this thread if that's OK!
I had 2 MCs before my little girl came along, and have had a v early MC the first month of trying for baby #2 in April so feeling nervous about being on the TTC journey again 😬
So sorry to hear about your experiences on this thread they sound so tough xxxx

@Halpmer so sorry to hear of your loss - that must have been absolutely devastating 😞 I hope that being able to name him and lay him to rest brought you some peace.

I'm TTC my second. I have a 2 year old boy already and in April I had a MMC at almost 12wks. I had some minor spotting but they agreed to scan me as my official 12wk scan wasn't due until I was closer to 14weeks. Unfortunately they found no heartbeat and little bean had stopped developing at 7+5. It's been tough but I have amazed myself somewhat with my own resilience and also with how quickly I wanted to start trying again. I'm just on my second proper cycle after the loss and have been waiting for a peak on my opks. Just started rising this morning (CD16) - so hoping for a peak this eve or tomorrow and then it will be onto the tww...

@Kellyaust just 'met' you on a couple of other threads too - really hope this is the beginning of your rainbow journey!

Here's to healthy little 🌈babies for all of us very soon! 💕

@Kellyaust we'll be here either way for whatever you're feeling about either scenario! We'll try keep the thread going, hopefully we'll al end up with our tribes of children 😆

@sunflower1988 sorry for your losses, that must've been such a challenge especially in first month of trying for #2 ❤️. I'm also nervous about TTC and the potential pregnancy that will (hopefully) follow. One of the reasons I started this thread was to have somewhere to share the nerves and hopefully gain some reassurance.

@SnookyPook oh that's so heartbreaking, I'm sorry 😣. I'm glad they scanned you earlier. I think when you're faced with these horrible situations you really surprise yourself with how much resilience you're actually capable of. With our boy we'd have said 'I don't think I could go through that' etc but here we are. I think for us, trying again is part of our healing!

By the way, I consider this TTC journey our 'TTC #3' as we have an 18m old boy - crazy 😂 - and our son who wasn't for this world - just to avoid any confusion 😅

@Halpmer that absolutely makes sense. I think the loss is a bit different at a later gestation isn't it when you have given birth and you know their sex and can name them etc. I think of my loss as my second pregnancy but not really my second baby that I would include in a tally to people as I don't feel it had really got far enough for that yet, though I'm sure others might feel differently.

@sunflower1988 sorry for your losses... Having one has absolutely broken me so you must be one strong mama! 🤞

@SnookyPook yes I thought I recognised your name though my memory is terrible! I hope this is too but if not then I will hopefully get my rainbow soon... Along with you all 🤞

@Halpmer and thank you, i live quite rural and my family live over 2 hours away so I don't have family or friends around me so it's nice to be able to come on here to chat....also my families attitude is... "at least you've got 3 children" 🤦‍♀️

Right now I feel bruised from the inside and having yellow cm... No clue what that means 😕

@SnookyPook yeah, it's so strange to me as previously I totally didn't understand feelings around pregnancy loss at all - as in, I had never really pondered it all that much and actually I felt that others that had done medically managed like I have were a bit 'odd' for wanting to hold their baby etc. (and I went on to do this as it felt right) this has obviously totally changed the way I view everything around miscarriage and baby loss. It's so personal to each individual, I feel like there's no right or wrong way to deal with it now.

@Kellyaust this thread has actually made me feel better already about this new TTC journey! Feel less nervy knowing I have others on a similar quest for a rainbow baby around. Aw I'm sorry that your family don't get it, it's disappointing. I have felt sort of invalid or perhaps a bit silly for being so sad at times when I've spoken about the loss to others who haven't already got other children, but loss is loss! Although DH and I agree that without our son we'd have taken this loss a lot harder.

@Halpmer yes it has made me feel a bit better too, there's only really my husband that I talk to about it and I'm sure it's driving him mad 🤦‍♀️ 😅 I've also felt crazy at times coz I never stop wondering or googling why could this happen... But then I've seen so many since being on forums it's actually so common!! And yes I actually agree.... If I'd not had any children I think I would've maybe taken longer to recover... But I felt dreadful because my teenage daughters 16&14 were with us at the private scan when she told us the news.... Luckily they are very strong girls and have been so supportive of me ❤️

@Kellyaust I would be the same with Google. We have a pretty good idea of what caused the anomalies with our baby boy, unless there are genetic factors involved (having the placenta tested for this and will get results back in the next couple of months). Bereavement midwives have been so fab that we told them we'd be trying ASAP for another baby and prescribed me a higher dose of folic acid basically from the get go. So, that's reassuring in a way as that should hopefully prevent the same anomalies from recurring.

Aaagh 😩 I'm so sorry your daughters were there, bless them. I'm glad they're strong too, you've raised them well! We were at a private gender scan (so that my husband could attend with our son after work/nursery), before our NHS anomaly scan later that week, when the initial anomalies were found 😬 it was pretty awful. Such a shock - especially when you're just there expecting a healthy baby/to find out ended etc.

@Halpmer wow I'm glad they've been fab.. Some aren't! My nurse on epau was fantastic... I was back and forward with more tablets and scan because I had rpoc and infection and she said if I do get preg again to ring her and they will do an early scan and prescribe progesterone and aspirin.... I was supposed to start aspirin from 12 weeks anyway because I'm high risk but didn't get that far.

I can't imagine getting as far as you did and having to go through that I am truly truly sorry for you honestly I've never seen miscarriage the way I do now!!!

Hello! Can I join the thread? I have one 2 year old daughter and we were trying for number 2 which ended in a MMC 4 weeks ago. 10 weeks pregnant when it happened and they confirmed the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks. I'm just in the limbo area now waiting for my first AF since it happened although we did a fair amount of BD this month so either AF or BFP who knows!! We're hoping for our rainbow baby soon!! Good luck to everyone on this thread :) xx

Just commented on your thread.... Wow our journeys are exactly the same almost 😅

@Kellyaust it's nice to know someone is in the same boat as me 😊 x

Hi all, I’d love to join if that’s ok? I had a MMC at 7 weeks in April last year (feels like a lifetime ago now!). That was my first and only pregnancy. I’m currently with an NHS fertility clinic and I’m starting letrozole today to try and help me ovulate more regularly (my cycles are all over the place so really hoping this makes things more regular, I’m sick of waiting 30+ days just to get a peak OPK 😱).

As things are taking longer and longer I’m getting progressively more nervous about another miscarriage. I got pregnant on my second month trying, so at the time it didn’t seem so bad as I never expected to fall that soon anyway. But I know if it happens again it will be much more difficult. Trying to stay positive and not think about that too much!

Sorry to hear all your experiences of loss, but it’s really lovely to hear you all sharing and I hope we can support each other in our journeys ☺️ xx

That was the bedtime from my nightmares with the 18month old 😅 why do they change up their preferred routines when you've got the hang of it and it's going so well? 😂 Keeps us on our toes I suppose!

@Kellyaust yeah I feel so lucky that literally every single person at our hospital that we encountered were totally amazing. I'm
Glad you've got a good contact too, feels like someone is on your team and I think that can really help when you feel you have that support.

There are many strange things I've caught myself saying as I heal from this whole experience, one of them is that I'm grateful in some ways (and I try to hold on to that) for the loss being later on as it meant we actually got to 'meet' him and say a goodbye. Obviously, it's heartbreaking - his anomalies are neural tube related which will actually have begun in the earliest stages of pregnancy (which is sad, upsetting etc in equal measure 😵‍💫) - so it means he really never 'stood a chance'.

@thejollytrolleydolly welcome! Im sorry for your loss, I'm also sort of waiting until first AF since our loss, along with doctor's 'postpartum' sign off so that we can get back in the game 😅.

@ChipAndDip welcome! Sorry for your loss. All rainbow journeys welcome here! So glad you've started with the fertility clinic today, it must feel like a nice new hopeful start? I'm with you on trying not to think about the worst possibilities too much, I catch myself going down that road sometimes!

Heya,
Hope everyone is doing ok,it's really reassuring to know I'm not going through this by myself! All my friends that have babies seemed to either get pregnant by accident and not realise for a few months or first time trying 🙃and there's me having done 6 tests last month before I got my AF😅
I miss the excitement I got the first time I got pregnant (early MC,then another MC at 8 weeks), I feel like for us it'll always be fraught with anxiety if/when it happens.
Just wondering,are people drinking /having caffeine whilst trying?I'm trying not to obsess and feel like coffee and wine are needed with a toddler around!
❤️

I started bleeding on 2nd June and had surgery on 9th June due to take my 3 week pregnancy test on Friday but how to I go about tracking my cycle in order to TTC again - google says day 1 is from first day on MC bleed so 2nd June is that correct?

Drink caffeine whist trying to convince but maybe not loads I think they say 1 cup per day is ok.

I have no idea about when to count from because I started bleeding 4th may... Lost baby 8th may... Had medical management for retained tissue, finally stopped bleeding 6th june!! I've just been tracking ovulation to get an idea of the cycle and I ovulated on 18th june

I have one coffee (mocha) per day... Dunno of that's OK or not tbh 🤷‍♀️

Could I join in please. I had a mc at just under 12 weeks nearly 2 years ago and have been trying ever since with sadly no luck. I have DD and would love her to be a big sister.

Has all the fertility tests and they said nothing is wrong which just makes it harder. I'm currently 1dp0 still loving in hope it'll happen