TTC a Rainbow...

[Halpmer]

Hello everyone. I thought I'd start a thread to see if anyone else is out there TTC their rainbow baby 🌈 and wants to join me?

Any loss is a valid loss here, early miscarriage, late miscarriage, chemicals, TFMRs etc. I know we can sometimes face judgement from others or have others not understand!

Hello and welcome, sorry for your loss and it must be so hard not having your rainbow yet fingers crossed for you this month 🤞

Thank you @Halpmer! I’m so sorry to read about your experience, I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be. You’re amazingly strong 💪🏻 You said you’d be trying again in the coming weeks - if you don’t mind me asking, are you able to start trying once your cycle restarts, or is there any other aftercare you need to do first?

Yes I’m really happy to be with the fertility clinic and trying something new. I have 4 months worth of letrozole (ovulation induction) so nice to be able to focus on that now. Just took my first dose this evening! 🤞

@sunflower1988 I’ve mainly switched to decaf, but still drinking normal coffee a few times a week. And same with wine, cut down but not kicking myself if I have a glass here and there! Life’s too short 🍷

I know how you feel, I’ve been trying a year since my MMC and like you I’m still hopeful but it sucks doesn’t it! I got pregnant so quickly with the miscarriage so I naively assumed it would be easy again 🙄

@ChipAndDip I was the same with my DD got pregnant so easily and now it's just so hard. Every BFN is just so painful especially silly when everyone around me seems to be announcing news.

Hi all. Sorry to hear all your stories. It's always so amazing realising how strong women are and what we go through and still live in hope and are willing to put ourselves on the line and risk it again. 💕

@sunflower1988 I have one cup of coffee most days mid-morning but I have decaff tea (developed a taste for it during my first pregnancy and don't actually like normal much anymore!). If I have more than 1 coffee the others are decaff. As for vino, my hubby usually gets me a bottle of red when AF appears! I'll have a few glasses that week and then tend to not drink much/at all during ovulation and tww. It's so easy to beat yourself up and question everything isn't it. I think a bit of 'normal' and having stuff that you enjoy is important!

@sunflower1988 I'm not really a caffeine or an alcohol drinker - God I sound boring 😂 - so can't really offer much advice that way!

@LittleMrsPretty my midwives said to ideally wait until first period after miscarriage to track as that would be more reliable?

@YYY-85 keep the hope going, your journey sounds like it's been tough so far - I'm sorry about that. You're welcome here to chat and vent etc! - just seen also about how difficult it is with other's news being announced all the time, I feel that and I'm sending my love.

@ChipAndDip - I'm open to any and all Qs! The birth was vaginal, no tears and my bleeding was fine after so essentially once I've got the doctor's sign off this Friday - like a normal postpartum sign off but perhaps a little sooner - then I'm good to go!

I lost my baby boy to tfmr he was born early May at 21.5 weeks. I’m desperate to be pg again. Have had 1 period since am
currentlt ovulating this week but husband away with work for another couple weeks 😭

@Halpmer I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and you get sign off from your dr 🤞

@justwantobeamum I’m so sorry about your loss. Hope you have some nice self care planned while your husband is away.

@justwantobeamum it seems like we have been in similar situations which is sad to hear, I send you much love and understanding. I feel similarly with the desperation to be pregnant again, it must be heartbreaking to have your husband away during ovulation. I know I'd be upset. Just have to try keep that next ovulation in mind as a light at the end of this current tunnel.

@ChipAndDip thank you! I'm equal parts excited and nervous for the app this evening... I'll update on the verdict 🤞🏻.

@Kellyaust did you test again after your post the other day?

@Halpmer just this morning yes BFN so looks like I'm out 😪

Ah @Kellyaust I'm sorry, have you had a period since or was it ovulation before the first bleed?

@Halpmer no it was my first ovulation... So this will be my first period really didn't want to see it xx

We would've been 20 weeks along today 💔

@Kellyaust it's so hard with milestones like that. I really hope you can take some time to take care of yourself and feel the feelings.

@Kellyaust big hugs ❤️ I remember how triggered I was after mine when it came to the date of our scan. The milestones hit deep. I hope you're ok xxx

@Kellyaust I also found 20wks hit particularly hard. Sending hugs. I also know it's frustrating not to get pregnant again straight away after the loss. I tried to think of it as my body knowing it needed a bit more time to be in tip top condition for my rainbow baby. 🤞🏻🌈💕

Thank you girls, so bfn... 20 week milestone... And af just arrived. I'm feeling absolutely broken today I won't lie. Not sure where to go from here I just want my baby back 💔

@Kellyaust It never goes away but it does get better and you do feel normal again. It's been 2 years for me and every milestone such as the birth date , first birthday etc are always hard and some days are better then others but trust me you do feel better. Sending ❤️

@Kellyaust sending so much love, what you're feeling is so valid and I wish no one had to go through that kind of pain 💔.

@SnookyPook that's a good way to frame those feelings. It's so difficult all of this, isn't it? You've got to feel all the feelings but at the same time find a way to cope and get through the feelings 😵‍💫 all while dealing with hormones and periods.

I had my appointment yesterday and I get the sense that the GP surgery really don't know what to do with TFMR 😅 based on yesterday's appointment and interactions I had with receptionists previous to that. The GP sort of just spoke to me about the TFMR and updated their notes on what happened because they didn't have anything about it, only a delivery note... 🤷🏻‍♀️. She didn't examine me or anything... she did put my folic acid prescription on repeats which was good and was supportive of us trying again, but she clearly had no idea of the TFMR process, consultant appointments etc.

Anyway, we decided just to crack on with trying 😅. I'll keep an eye on everything and make sure no infections occur but we're at the 4 week mark, and with the fact that I didn't dilate fully (didn't need to) I feel like my cervix is closed anyway.

Feeling a bit broken this weekend, seems to be a whole collection of pregnancy announcements that just keep coming, or positive early tests from people I know. I'm happy for them, but I do just want to crawl into bed and cry for a bit 😅.

@Halpmer .... I'm not the only one then. I haven't moved this weekend, haven't got dressed nothing. I'm currently in bed now n I think I've cried non stop for 3 days 😢 seems like so many have got their happy month n it feels so far away for me, my angel has been weighing heavily on my mind 💔 sending you understanding hugs 💖

@Kellyaust 😞 it's brutal. Our angels are together, probably out there somewhere knowing the happiness and rainbows in our futures. We just have to be kind to ourselves, it's just so painful sometimes. Sending hugs in return, it's just so sad.

@Halpmer I hope they are playing in fields of gold feeling how much they are loved even though we can't hold them, it's very hard to be kind to ourselves I've just been on a course of self punishment for 3 days solid, I smoked some cigarettes and I didn't take my medication... I know as of tomorrow that needs to change if there's any hope of seeing a rainbow but it is very very hard 🌈💔

Sending huge hugs ladies 💕 the grief is like nothing else isn't it. Since mine, a close friend announced her pregnancy and had the exact same due date that I did, another acquaintance is due two weeks before my would have been date, and one of my best friends and one SiL have both had newborns. It's tough. Constant reminders of what could have been. But I love your way of looking at it @Halpmer that they are somewhere and know the happiness and rainbows ahead. On a brighter note, I got out the car this evening and there was a mega rainbow and it felt like a good omen 🥰