TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@Marvellouslymadmum also sorry your on this journey and it’s taking you a while TTC again. It’s a tough journey

@Marvellouslymadmum thank you for the reassurance. I feel like I wouldn’t be panicked if it didn’t always happen so quick for us. This will be my last baby so I feel so desperate and emotional this time around for some reason and I’m sure that’s not helping.

@Loz2467 I’m so sorry! I had a miscarriage between my kids too right before 12 weeks and it was so devastating and since we saw a healthy heartbeat they said it was probably my hormones as it was after week 8 which was unusual. That scared the crap out of me but I had to be induced with my second so obviously my body was working fine. I had to wait like 2 months for my levels to go to below 5 and the wait was awful. Give yourself time and it will get easier. How did they know it was Covid? Or were they just going based of dates? Maybe there were other problems with development which would mean that those should not happen next time. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

I think stress has a lot to do with messing things up. Last cycle I was still so torn if we should start trying again or not and was a nervous wreck. My period came on time but it was only 2 heavy days then stopped. Which I’m usually 4 or 5 so that was really weird. I was so mad that once I finally said I wanted to try my cycle goes haywire. I’m hoping that doesn’t happen again. I’m 7dpo today and took a test stupidly and obviously it was negative. I have such an obsessive problem!

@CeebeeUS5 I’m so sorry you went through that between your children too. I understand the desperate feeling - my partner doesn’t get it. But I want to give my little boy a sibling so badly and when you have it and it gets snatched away from you it’s so cruel.

No we got a full set of results from the loss. Because I was nearly 17 weeks I had to be induced and actually give birth. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. All blood tests okay and post mortem okay but unfortunately placenta was infected suspected of covid. So my gut was right. We always are arent we. It was devastating, it’s been such a hard week and brought everything back. I felt like the trap door opened and I fell through again. I was blaming myself because I caught it in work but it was rife at Christmas! And I won’t live with myself if I blame myself so from today I’m trying to be positive and let go. It’s awful - but it’s still nature at the end of the day.

If I was younger I’d give myself the rest of the year to gather my thoughts and get stronger but I’m not and I also wanted a close age gap. It’s so consuming isn’t it.

6dpo is wayyyy early! Fingers crossed this is a positive cycle for you!

@Loz2467, I am incredibly sorry about Covid, and how it influenced your pregnancy. It is good to have an answer now, which is in some way a luxury, as many will have to keep on wondering why they lost their pregnancies. But those answers can hurt too. We found out in our results our losses were because of an undiagnosed clotting issue. Had I taken something as stupidly cheap and available as aspirin from early on, things might have looked very differently.

I am very much trying not to go down that road of 'what if I had known?', because there is nothing good to be found there. You did not know you would get Covid (especially not if you got it through professional interaction, which is literally your lifelihood), and you did not know it would affect you so much worse than the many, many other women who have gotten it and whose babies have gotten through unscathed. It just massively sucks and is completely unfair. I really sympathise.

@susiebluebell, @Marvellouslymadmum, @SLCxxx, thank you three so much for your well-wishes. I am having pretty continuous one-sided cramping at the moment, which is slightly scary. I sure hope it is the good one of pregnancy and not the bad one of impending AF/CP. We will see what happens.

It is very weird, because of the clotting thing I already had to get in touch with hospital, etc. (we had agreed to inform them asap after a BFP). It felt really awkward calling EPU's general telephone line and be like 'Yeah, I am not even 4 weeks pregnant, but hear me out here.' So it feels a lot more 'official' and 'public' than previously at this vulnerable stage (which somehow makes me feel like it is jinxing it).

@bez91, I hope things continue to develop ok on your side. Lots of fingers crossed for you!!

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m sorry ttc has been a long road. Have you gotten any tests done to see if there could be reason for it?

@Loz2467 oh my gosh I’m so sorry that is awful. Covid is such a terrible thing and so unpredictable. You def cannot blame yourself it’s not like you intended to get Covid. Def do not play the what if game that does not help and can be grueling on your mind. I drink red raspberry leaf tea from my period to ovulation to help regulate my periods. I drank that every time I was ttc and I always thought it helped prep my uterus. I’m hoping you get a positive soon!

@Loz2467 I completely agree! It's so hard after a loss trusting that everything will go right! So sad that it was down to Covid that you had your loss, sorry to hear that, it's like something extra to have to worry about now as-well 😞 I can imagine about Covid related things making you feel worse. I turned 42 in March so a bit older, after my first mc my cycle went pretty much straight back to normal but not so much after the cp and second mc so I think it's like everything else - different every time! It is a tough journey but I still have a bit of hope yet!!
It's so hard that you had to be induced and give birth, my sister went through something similar at 19 weeks and it effected all of us so make sure you do take that time to grieve again after your results and look after yourself
@CeebeeUS5 I completely get how you're feeling, I've gone through so many up and down stages on this journey. I know I'm older now but because I got pg straight away the first time we mc I really did think it would be easy again! No such luck, I'm pretty sure it would be my last baby if I ever get there too! If you were on contraception before you started trying this time that can also have a massive impact on your cycles when you come off of it.

I've had every possible test my gp can send me for, alllll the blood tests (showed very low iron levels) plus external and internal scans which have showed I have adenomyosis, I was suspected endometriosis but didn't have a clue about that one! I was referred to gynae in March for infertility investigations and was originally given an appointment in November but that's been brought forward to august now so just waiting for that and hoping they'll give me a laparoscopy for the endo then more tests etc. My oh has had an sa aswell which came out really well so just waiting now.

@davidrosejumper I can only imagine how strange it is to have to share your pregnancy so early but at least it's all for good reasons and hopefully this is it for you!

I must of missed you positive @davidrosejumper a gentle congrats to you. 🌈 I’m glad you’ve taken the right steps already - although I can understand when it’s usually something we speak so quietly about but it’s what you need. If / when I have another pregnancy I get to go to the rainbow clinic and start scans / swabs at 6 weeks and also take aspirin. I just pray it happens one day. With my little boy I got pregnant first time and last October first time so it’s hard to keep positive and to stop thinking there is now something wrong with me. I had some hormone tests done but on the wrong day of my cycle which didn’t help my anxieties. I was just saying to a friend I got pregnant 8 months ago. Surely there isn’t major issues now 😩 but we naturally worry don’t we!

I’m sorry yours was due to the blood clotting and like you say something as simple as aspirin and it’s so unfortunate we don’t know these things. I have seen articles that aspirin should be a thing during any pregnancy and it makes sense doesn’t it.

Thank you for making me feel better about the Covid. I was going to work and providing for my family. Wearing a mask. Washing my hands. Sanitising. I didn’t do anything social. It’s still a tough pill to swallow but hopefully it won’t happen again. Fingers crossed.

@CeebeeUS5 sorry I’ve just seen your post also. Thank you so much! I need to not blame myself for this. I didn’t know about the raspberry leaf tea - I will have a look! Thank you! Fingers crossed we all get our rainbows soon!

Sorry I’m still catching up so I haven’t wrote all on one message - im learning 🙈 it’s my first time on a forum.

Thank you @Marvellouslymadmum it’s been a very difficult time and like I said the results made me feel back to square one again. Im so sorry your sister went through something similar. It really has affected my whole family. In particular my mum because she finds it hard when im so broken. I need to try and look up now and look forward but it’s my due date this month too. Im hoping to do something nice or scatter babies ashes somewhere 💗 we haven’t planned yet. I hope you get your rainbow soon. I agree with the cycles. Mine have stabilised now but like I said I think my Covid vaccine might through the month off. It really is a tough journey trying after loss isn’t it. Wondering if I’ll ever get that rainbow! Wish I was confident enough to say WHEN! 🌈🙏

@Loz2467 after my first Covid vaccination I was really ill that evening but my cycle didn't really change, second vaccination no reaction but ended up ovulating on cd33 and 50 day cycle 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Marvellouslymadmum I wish it just didn’t have to affect the cycles! I haven’t been poorly at all - maybe that’s because I’ve had Covid 6 months ago?! I definitely know I’m behind because of my CM. So either way it will be a longer cycle plus the stress of this week wirh the results etc. I need to relax now so I don’t make it even longer 🙈 I had long cycles before my little boy. With him I ovulated on day 53 🙈

@Marvellouslymadmum defo best way, that way you don’t miss anything, and also they then can’t trying to twist/turn things to fit with a certain prediction they might have! Now just a horrible months wait for you, hope it fits by 🤞🏻

@Loz2467 when I had my vaccine AF was 5days late and I had convinced myself I was pregnant, lol. It defo messes with your cycle, but I took the view it’s better in the long run.

@davidrosejumper did you test again and get a stronger result?

@bez91, woke up thinking of you! Are you testing again today? If so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Thanks for checking in @SLCxxx I did another FRER yesterday when AF was due and the line was no darker than Thursday, DH made me do an digital and it did say 1-2 weeks. Not feeling overly reassured by it so I'm going to leave it until Wednesday morning to do another. I'm thinking a chemical but time will tell 🙂

@bez91 tbf FRER doesn’t seem to change very quickly for me, even at 6weeks pregnant (hopefully) it’s a faint line, CB is now saying 3+. I found the ovulation strips so useful as I could see the progression of the line. I hope this really is your rainbow 🌈

@SLCxxx thank you and you too 🌈 that's infesting to know about the FRER. I think I'll try another of those Wednesday. Good news on the 3+, are you going to go for an early scan?

@bez91 we had a scan earlier this week as they had to rule out ectopic and there was just an empty sac so having another scan next sat to see if an embryo has grown or not. 🤞🏻 For us both this week

Anyone else feel like they are obsessing over getting pregnant again. I feel like that’s all I think about and it’s unhealthy. I know 2 months is not long at all but I keep panicking that it’ll never happen again. Like this morning I woke up with anxiety and was sweating I was so caught up in my mind. I haven’t been sleeping well since last month when we didn’t get a BFP. Maybe I need to go on anxiety meds but then that makes me more anxious if that would mess up ttc. I’m just so sad today. It’s a year since my d and c and i thought I was over feeling like this. I said if it happens it happens if it doesn’t it doesn’t and we will be happy with the two I have but I just cannot stop obsessing since last month. Tell me I’m not crazy.

@SLCxxx sorry if you posted that and I missed it. Good news it's not ectopic, it's such a horrible wait between those scans too. Hoping the best outcome for you for Saturday 💕

@CeebeeUS5 I’m sorry you are feeling like this and if I’m honest I’m the exact same. I don’t even recognise the person I am and neither does my partner and it’s putting a strain on us. I feel like I’m still grieving and I just feel each blow would be softened if I was carrying our rainbow. We lost oh the 1st Feb and I always thought I’d be pregnant again by the summer and now I’m the same as you and worrying if I’ll ever be pregnant again. I think about it so much! I’m already worrying this cycle because of no cm but like I said I should know it’s off anyway because of stress or the vaccine. I thought I’d be pregnant by my due date etc. It’s just so hard. I’m trying to focus my energy into work etc but I just can’t. I’m just on the way to a social event and just anxiety is through the roof. Your not alone. Sending a hug today!

@CeebeeUS5 and @Loz2467 Yes, I have felt the same way too, and still do sometimes. The intensity of it passes, but it can still be very anxious going through TTC can't it?

I found it reassuring to read up on miscarriage statistics and see that only about 5% of women have two consecutive miscarriages, and only about 1% have three or more. So the numbers are on our side! Hope that you both feel brighter soon xx

Started bleeding so looking like a chemical ☹️ I was much further along with the orher 2 MCs so the is the earliest one yet, does anyone who has been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic know if they would count a chemical in the 3 required for referral? We are in the process of being referred to the fertility clinic so hopefully it can just be sorted in the same process.
Sorry for the self centred post ladies, it's been a long 14 months.

@bez91, Oh no, OP. So sorry to read this! I hope they will count it as one, so you can be referred. Virtual hugs to you.

@SLCxxx, fingers crossed Saturday's scan will go ok for you. I tested again after reading your question and it is not as dark yet, as I would have hoped. They still all say yes, which is at least a relief for now.

Hey ladies so I have got my Peak today on clearblue monitor. Have DTD the past 8 nights (DH is delighted, I'm exhausted 🤣), aim to DTD the next 2 or 3 aswell to be sure.
Does anyone recommend doing anything else during the TWW to help implantation? I'm willing to try anything lol! Cycle 4 after mmc in Jan xx

So sorry to hear this @bez91. Hope you’re ok xxx