TTC after MC - May 2021 thread 19

[bez91]

Here we are again... thread 19. Not sure if any of you ladies are here from thread 1. I think I've been around since about thread 5.

@SLCxxx
@justwant2beamum
@Canadadarling
@Marvellouslymadmum
@SamBass
@bubblybrit
@elsimo
@Loulou237
@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK
@susiebluebell
@Mamat90
@Lollipop25
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Tagged everyone I can find/think of.

A very new tag list from the last one I did in February, a lot of ladies got BFPs 🤰 Hopefully some good news for us in the coming months... 🤞🏼

Any recaps on journey so far welcome...

@Sarah0409. DH and I had a bit of a bumpy road after my MMC in Dec...just as @susiebluebell said. He was very hot and cold for 4/5 months afterwards. I will be honest and say that I harboured a lot of resentment towards him. I knew that I wanted a second child even although I was aware that another mc was a possibility. DH wasn’t so sure if he wanted to go through that again and felt that his desire to have a second child was secondary to the concerns he had around around the possibility of another miscarriage (and all the emotional turmoil that comes along with it) I was miserable for those months and really did question our relationship.

We didn’t communicate very well at all so it all came to a head and we both laid our cards on the table (we actually wrote and subsequently read a letter to each other explaining our feelings...someone on this thread recommended it)!

We took a month or so to reflect on this and then both agreed that we wanted to TTC once again.

I’m very fortunate to report that I’m currently 14+6!

I do sympathise with you as it really is a stressful time period when you appear to be on a different page. I’d only advise you to be brutally honest with your feelings....if you hold back in fear of hurting/upsetting the other person then it will eat away at you (and him). Try and keep the lines of communication open as it’s so easy just to shut down which does no good in the long run.

Wish you the best of luck x

Lovely news @susiebluebell. Congratulations x

@Loulou237. Great to see some more BFPs on this thread. Brilliant news. Delighted for you and @susiebluebell x

@bubblybrit Thank you. I'm still gobsmacked and thinking it's a fluke. I'm so happy to read that you are 14+6. That's really put a smile on my face xx

@Loulou237 Congrats on your positive as well Let's hope it goes well for both of us x

@bubblybrit @susiebluebell thank you ladies! Congratulations to all of us 😊

Congratulations to all those with positive tests!! Very exciting 😊

@susiebluebell amazing news 😍 so very pleased for you.

@susiebluebell @Loulou237 congratulations on your positive tests!! Are you going to test again? I was going to this morning, but decided not to at the last moment. I may do it tomorrow.

@Sarah0409 I can only imagine how horrible these conversations must be. It's hard enough as it is. Sending you strength.

@Unarosaes yes I’m testing every day just to check the line is getting darker for a few days 😊 I’m hoping I can try not to think about it all too much and time speeds up for the next few weeks for all of us xxx

@Loulou237 you snuck that one in there. Congratulations to you too 😊

I'm feeling very anxious and down today ladies. Did another test with first morning urine, and came back positive. But I'm continuing to spot with bright red (ie fresh) blood and have some cramping at the moment as well. I'm filled with dread that it's going to be another miscarriage. Can't concentrate on anything and have had to come home Currently sat on hold to the GP for an urgent appointment...

Oh @susiebluebell I’m so sorry to hear this. Try to relax if you can and I’m hoping the gp will be able to shed some light on it or give you something for the spotting? Am I right in remembering you’ve been spotting for over a month? That could indicate that it’s nothing to do with the pregnancy. Everything crossed. Xxx

@bez91 thanks so much am still in shock I think! How are you feeling? Do you have a date for your next scan yet? Xxx

@susiebluebell so sorry to hear that.If you had a positive test today morning again, that's a good sign. I have all my fingers crossed for you, I hope everything turns out well. If GP takes too long, do you have a women's health clinic nearby that you could drop in to?

Thanks ladies. The GP is going to phone me back today x

Well I've just spoken to the doctor and been in floods of tears because she was so lovely (it was a GP I'd not had before). Absolutely amazingly compassionate and listened to everything I was saying, talked it all through really clearly and simply and reassured me that I could call back any time I wanted and not to feel I was wasting their time.

So because I've had a bit heavier bleeding today and some cramping, there is 'threat of miscarriage', although they wouldn't be able to confirm yes or not yet as everything is so small.

In one week's time it'll be 6 weeks, by which point they can do a scan and see something. If the bleeding and cramping gets heavier before that, then it will be a miscarriage.

She was really understanding and said this next week is going to be emotional no matter what the outcome, and to take it easy. If I wanted a sick note to take time off, I could have that (I said no for the time being). She also said it's normal to have 2 miscarriages in a row and then go on to have totally normal pregnancies.

I'm to phone back in a week to book the 6 week scan no matter what happens, for my own sake, to help me process it. I'm so impressed with her, and feel reassured as well as emotional. Going to watch telly in bed for the rest of the afternoon.

Just remembered a couple of other things she said - that despite what we often say on here, bleeding in early pregnancy is never considered normal. HOWEVER, some women do have bleeding (in 1st trimester or even throughout) and their pregnancy turns out fine.

For this reason she said that the spotting I've been having for a month could be unrelated, especially because I have irregular cycles, but that heavy bleeding and cramping would signify a MC. But was very positive that I've gotten pregnant twice now depsite my horrible cycles and said that was a good thing.

Hi @susiebluebell I’m so pleased you’ve had a good experience with the gp, it makes such a difference doesn’t it. I have everything crossed for you xxx

@susiebluebell have been keeping up with the thread from afar and just wanted to hop on to say I have everything crossed for you! Really great to hear you spoke to a good gp.

Congrats to all who have got a bfp recently, hopefully it’s a lucky month!

@Loulou237 feel pretty rotten, just nausea, fatigue, crankiness and stomach problems the last 4 weeks aside to the anxiety 🤦🏼‍♀️. Yes I have another scan at EPU next Monday where I should be 8+5

@susiebluebell sounds like a fab GP! The wait will be horrible but yes it can be normal for some women and it's probably reassuring in some ways it's been on and off throughout your cycle. Keep us updated, pregnancy after loss is tough. I get it 💕

Sending you positive thoughts @susiebluebell. So glad that you had a GP that was understanding as it makes all the difference. There are so many women on another thread that I’m on that have had spotting from the beginning and everything is absolutely perfect with their babies so far x

Thank you all for your kind words, sadly the bleeding got much heavier overnight and today, so it's definitely a miscarriage. I'm at home again and taking it easy, feeling pretty rubbish to be honest but all I can do is wait it out.

Hope others are having a better week

I’m so so sorry to hear you’re going through this @susiebluebell. It really feels so unfair sometimes. I’ve had 2 MC in a row and the doctor also told me unfortunately it’s not that uncommon, and many people go on to have a 3rd pregnancy absolutely fine. They also said that getting pregnant naturally twice is also a very positive sign, although I’m sure at the moment that doesn’t offer you much comfort. I’m so sorry for your loss. Here if you want to chat at all, my heart goes out to you, and sending lots of hugs. Take it easy and look after yourself x

Thank you @OneDay86 that's made me tear up all over again! I can't express how much it means to be able to write about all this, as despite the lovely people in my life, it's a very lonely experience x