Penguin huddle 🐧🐧🐧 TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 35 - time for some sticky BFP's

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in coming months!

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@VenusStarr that's beautiful!

I was bought two rose bushes when I lost my boys. I'm determined to become a rose expert and keep them thriving. I currently know nothing x

@Kiki275 I'm the same as you! We planted a beautiful wee willow tree with yellow flowers and a yellow rose bush in the garden for our boy...but I am a COMPLETE novice with these things. Really motivated to become an expert now!

@KerryW87 Is it a post mortem or other testing you are awaiting results for?

@VenusStarr Thanks for asking after me

One of my pet rabbits died and I'm heartbroken. He was so gorgeous, energetic and happy. I tried to take the afternoon off work but then had some demands on me I didn't feel I could ignore. A family member came over and went home quite late so I feel a bit drained and still need to put my bedding on!

This evening I'm very emotional and I'm sure part of it is I'm exhausted.

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone individually but hope you are all ok 💗

@AliceinBunnyland We decided against a post mortem, but waiting on tests on placenta and tests on me. The midwife had a hunch due to the amount of blood loss in labour that it could be a placental abruption, but obviously need to wait for proper results. I've been just wishing time away for lochia to stop so we can start trying, but now having to wait for test results is making me feel like we're stuck in limbo a bit? :(

Aww no, that's awful. Sorry to hear about your lovely wee pet rabbit :( Sounds like an exhausting day, and forgetting about the bedding until bedtime is the worst! Hope you get a good sleep tonight and tomorrow is a better day ❤️ Have you got anything nice planned over your weekend? x

@KerryW87 I see. I think most of us who lost a baby through stillbirth it late miscarriage were advised to wait and it's just one of those crappy things we have had to deal with. Some people don't wait for results so its your decision and then maybe you can be at peace with what you decide rather than feeling you're being stopped, if that makes sense.

I feel a bit fed up but I could just be tired. It's coming up to a year since my MC, which was 6 months after I lost my baby girl and I don't know where the time has gone or even what I can reasonably expect in this coming year.

I'm very sad about the bunny as I adored him but strangely it also brought back emotions around losing the baby. I've got the bedding on finally. I would usually put it on early but couldn't with my relative being here.

💗

@AliceinBunnyland I am so sorry about your bunny, its devastating ❤️ I hope you managed to get some rest last night. Sending lots of love

@KerryW87 I've had it since my first loss and its been bare for 10 months. I think we over watered it, so cut it back to sticks and started watering once a week - just running the water through and letting it drain. I turn it every few days too. It's given me a lot of joy to see it flourish

That's lovely @Kiki275, a neighbour has 2 lovely rose bushes that show over our fence and it's always blooming - the only thing I really know is about dead heading them and it helps them regenerate.

Looking very positive @Mumlili9 🤞

I think dh wants to try this cycle - I'm not going to track at all. I am fairly confident I know my body, so will have a good idea when to start the cyclogest.

Have a good day xx

@AliceinBunnyland I know, you're right of course and I know so many of you will have had the exact same wait so I know I just need to deal with it. Deep down I know it's safest to wait and so we will, I just have this feeling in my head that I'll feel like I'm healing when I'm trying; I'll be actively taking steps to try and have the happy outcome we so badly wanted so I feel it'll give me a focus and take the sting away from losing our wee boy? Which makes me so anxious to be able to do that. I don't know, though...I know it's been just two weeks so I know I don't really know it all yet.

I imagine you will be exhausted, but also those are upsetting milestones to be coming up to ❤️❤️ I wish there was proper advice I could give to help make things easier for you but I'm thinking of you. Of course, losing your bunny would have been devastating! Pets become your family and it's completely heartbreaking. Hope you're doing ok and managed a good sleep xx

@VenusStarr Oh wow, ok I probably would have over watered it too and treated it like regular flowers if you get me, thanks very much for this! That's brilliant it's come on so well since you cut it back! Just lovely ❤️ Hope you have a lovely weekend ahead :) xx

Look at this little guy! 😍

@VenusStarr Ahh, what a gorgeous colour! 😍

@KerryW87 ☺️ it's actually a year to the day since I found out I was pregnant for the second time. I look for signs everywhere and am seeing this as one 🌟

@VenusStarr
How beautiful, I'd definitely take that as a wee sign 🥰❤️

@VenusStarr beautiful 🥰 x

@KerryW87 It's hard and I totally get wanting to try straight away so I'm not meaning to tell you how to feel or make out it's easy at all. We had a PM on our daughter as she was full term and all previous scans etc were fine, although when she was born she was wrapped in her cord so we suspected that was the reason. My lochia finished after a couple of weeks I think because my first started about 28 days after I gave birth. We started trying very loosely (ie first started dtd again) on the third cycle after losing her sk before we got PM results but like you we had an idea of the cause anyway. I got pregnant on the fourth cycle of trying after that and then had a MC and now I'm 11 cycles on. The thing is we just know what the future holds but it is healthy IMHO to see some separation between healing and TTC if you can. I'm probably a bit jaded though as it's coming up to 18 months and I feel fed up now!

@VenusStarr We must have got our BFPs around the same time as mine was 30 July last year 💗

I'm very upset about my bunny. They were well loved and he had a good life. They have always either lived in the house or in the garage so not just bunnies left in a hutch outside that we barely saw. They were my babies. I've got the other one in the house with me now for a bit.

Your orchid is beautiful Venus I believe in signs and good omens

Hope you are okay @Mumlili9

@AliceinBunnyland Oh no, didn't think that for a minute, really appreciate hearing someone else's perspective on things ❤️ Mine is sort of slowing down a bit but still bleeding lightly every day, hopefully calms down soon.

I've had family/friends tell me that my chances are better after a loss and others telling me it's worse...think the safest bet is to just hope for the best but try not to put pressure on, and just try to stay positive as best as I can. I've never felt a sort of desperation like it and I know that's a dangerous thing when you never know the chances, hoping with time I'm a bit less nuts and sort of up and down.

Oh, I can only imagine you're fed up after 18 months! ❤️ So sorry about your miscarriage too, you've had a lot to deal with and to still be ok here giving others support too is so appreciated ❤️❤️ I really do hope it all works out for you very soon xx

@KerryW87 I met other couples who lost babies when we did and I seem to be in the minority in not having a baby now (and I suppose I would if my second pregnancy had succeeded) so that makes me think many people are fertile after a loss, if that makes sense.

I feel it too. Before we had our daughter we decided to "try" but I wasn't even taking FA yet. I didn't feel we were actively trying so we were lucky from that angle. It was only after we lost her that I felt the need to have a baby and it's really hard when it's not happening.

I'm 36 so I worry about my age but I have to try not to tie myself in knots worrying about the future that we can't predict or control.

Thank you. I hope it happens for us all here 💗💗💗

@AliceinBunnyland thanks for asking after me. I'm OK. I got the job but it requires me to have injections next week (10 dpo) that aren't good for babies so I'm actually hoping we didn't catch for the first time in 4 years. Madness. I'm so nervous about this new role as a mental health support worker. I bought a second car for DH to run to and back from work just i little one thats super cheap to run. He's only going 2 miles each way as he's a hgv driver so he's only running to and from the yard so I'm going to have the qashqai because I'm half an hour each way. Its all change in my house.
We are starting plans to change our bath room into a wet room too so that will be a messy house fir a bit and showering at my mothers every day lol

For got the pics lol

@VenusStarr I loved your little orchid so much a bought one too

@AliceinBunnyland

Of course, it's definitely very difficult to "be relaxed" about it - it's not something you can fake when deep down you have that yearning to be pregnant again and have everything work out, so I totally understand that and it's how I feel too. I'm sorry you've had to feel that way for as long, I do hope everything works out soon 💕💕

As for age, I'm only a couple of years younger but I know what you mean. My sister in law is 38 with her first so as much as it may not ease your worries, it can and does absolutely happen and be complication-free for women far older than you are! :) Hope you're doing ok today and had a good weekend ❤️

@Mumlili9 I love your orchid! 😍 Happy new car day too!

Ive had a bit of a daft day and spent money I don't really have today on Conceive Plus and ovulation strips and vitamins...not sure why when we haven't had the test results back yet, but good to sort of feel like you're doing something?

@KerryW87 if buying those improves your mental wellbeing, then they aren't daft purchases at all.

I'm 35 and DH is 40 so we're feeling the clock ticking too x

Thanks @Kiki275 :) It definitely did make me feel better just doing something even if it's preparation for down the line.

I know how you feel, it definitely plays on your mind. I try to think of my friends who are now just starting to have children and are in their mid-thirties too and not worry too much, but it definitely does feel like you want to get there before too much time has passed! Hope you're ok and having a good day? x

Definitely. I think the worse thing about age is the awareness and real-life observations of just what can go wrong.
I remember when I was pregnant with DS, a friends niece was very young and expecting at almost exactly the same time. It got to her 20 weeks scan and she said she'd be devastated if she couldn't find out the sex. I looked at her and kept silent, knowing what others (and since then myself) found out at 20 weeks onwards and what their definition of devastated would be. I don't think badly of her in any way for it. Though, I sometimes wish I could be that young, innocent & totally unaware of the heartbreaking moments that can still happen.x

@Kiki275 Oh, absolutely. It shows you have a good nature that you didn't think badly of her, but it does make you wish you could be that naive in a sense! I actually feel that way about myself a decade ago when I had my boys (now almost 11 and 9).

I fell pregnant with both of them accidentally, and whilst I obviously took folic acid and cut out anything off-limits, I did so because I was told to but didn't really worry about anything, and didn't even consider that anything might go wrong with either of my babies, and I completely took for granted just being able to be pregnant in the first place without trying.

I never would have imagined myself at 33, trying for 7 months just to become pregnant (I know that's very quick compared to some) and then to lose my baby at 18 weeks.

I think with age and, sadly for us, the experience of loss comes all those worries that some are luckily spared. It'll never be a breezy, relaxed pregnancy for any of us but I do hope we all get there...and all the worry will be more than worth it! 💕

How are you @AliceinBunnyland, sending you lots of love. How's your other rabbit coping? ❤️

@Mumlili9 congratulations on the job! Well done :) love your little orchid too. I've got 3 flowers now

Hope you're both well @KerryW87 @Kiki275

I have some news... Just on our way home from our ivf clinic! Had our initial consultation and scan. I'm cd9 and said I think I'm due to ovulate and she said yes, both ovaries have a 16mm follicle reasy to pop! So we're going to give it one last shot this cycle. All looking good, one fibroid is by my left ovary which may make access difficult but not impossible. So looks like we'll be starting sometime in September. Feel absolutely shattered now, we were there 2 hours!