TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@bunnythebluewhale I'm thinking of you and your DD ❤️ I'm glad to hear your family and friends have acknowledged her. Are you doing anything particular for this day?

@venusstarr I am so sorry to hear about your chemical! 😔 it is a good sign you got pregnant though, so you think you will give it one more try or get help? When was your appointment at RMC again? Is this your second cycle trying after surgery?

@Mumlili9 im so sorry - I've written in the other thread for you. I really hope you'll get good news today. When is the scan?

I'm so so sorry @Mumlili9 it's absolutely heartbreaking ❤️ sending you lots of love today, I'll be thinking of you

@SunStruck thank you. Yes it was cycle 2 after the hysteroscopy, dh said was it too soon to try maybe, I don't know. I'm trying to hold onto the fact that we did catch the egg so there's every chance we can do it again and it be OK. We've had our letter to say we're being referred for ivf and they're checking whether we're eligible for funding (we are) but I'm not expecting anything fora few months. The rmc appointment is at the end of February. I'm not going to test in future until a week after af is due. I think I'd rather have not known about this and just thought it was a late period. I was temping though so going to stop after ovulation is confirmed from now on. Hope you're OK.

@MOGMOGMOG85 welcome. We've spoken on other threads ❤️ this group is lovely and supportive ☺️

@Mumlili9 I’ve been thinking of you. I don’t have any answers but I hope you’re coping and have support in real life. Be kind to yourselves. You’ve been such a huge support to me and others on this thread and I am sending you all the positivity that I can.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’m sorry you find yourself here but these ladies really are wonderful, strong and so supportive. The 2WW is hard.

@SunStruck I’m really not sure what to do. She was born four days after she died which probably sounds a bit odd... we have taken the day of her birth off work and not sure what we’ll do but that’s the day I want to make generally as her birthday but this Sunday is the anniversary of her death and of course that is on our minds too. How are you?

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Update

Scan well what can I say they found a sac measuring 4 + 4 but I'm 5+5 bleeding has increased since the scan this morning to bright red spotting but my blood hcg test has increase by 77% since last Tuesday. Another scan 17th of Feb. No baby seen
I don't know what to think or feel

@Mumlili9 I don’t want to get your hopes up and I’m no expert but think it’s still early so seeing a sac but not baby at this stage is not in itself a bad sign, similarly many women spot and bleed in early pregnancy, I believe. I really want a positive outcome for you but I can understand why you’d be anxious and hesitant. Have they said what they think is going on or just a waiting game,

Meant ? there

@BunnytheBlueWhaleits a wait and see game. I don't feel good about this at all

I’m sorry @Mumlili9 I don’t want to say the wrong thing and upset you. It must be hard not knowing what’s going on but I am hoping for the best outcome for you along with everyone else here I’m sure

I'm sorry that you're still in limbo @Mumlili9, it's really tough. I hope you are able to be kind to yourself ❤️ it's so distressing but I'm hoping that the progress you're seeing is a good sign and you get positive news on 17 February xx

@Mumlili8 I’m really hoping and praying for you too.

@VenusStarr I am so sorry to read about your chemical. Sending you massive hugs.

@Mumlili9 keeping everything crossed for you for the 17th hun.

Im just impatiently waiting out the 2ww. Im currently 6 days po and not really feeling confident. I got my bfp at 9 days po last time and felt different in the days leading up to it. Im not testing till unless I am actually late though. Just cant face seeing a negative 😔

@Mumlili9 thinking of you. The uncertainty is so awful.

@VenusStarr sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy too.

@mrsmb03 I’ve taken variously no time, a couple of days and a week off with my miscarriages (all first trimester). Felt I couldn’t leave my colleagues in the lurch but I’ve definitely regretted not taking more time off. The grief catches up with you later if you don’t take the time to process it. After my most recent one I attempted to go back to work less than a week after the surgery and literally spent the entire time crying in the loo. I definitely recommend not rushing back to work. You’ve got to put yourself first and your brain needs time to go through the grieving process.

I’ve just had a bit of a weird month. Had my MVA on 31 Dec followed by a couple of weeks of light bleeding. Did a pregnancy test when it finished to check HCG had gone down and it was negative. Got a positive for ovulation literally the next day and had a go with OH. I know you’re supposed to wait until after you get your first period after MC but can’t bear the idea of losing an opportunity after 3 years of trying and didn’t think we could get pregnant naturally anyway as it’s been over 2+ years since we had a natural conception and we’ve been doing IVF. Anyway, I did a pregnancy test last Tues and got a faint positive. Faint positive on Weds, negative on Thurs (but may not have peed on it for long enough), much stronger positive on Fri, but then fainter in Sat and negative on Sun. Must be chemical pregnancy but I’m still waiting for AF even though I’ve been testing for 5 days now.

I meant testing negative for 5 days now.

Well it seems I'm a fully paid up member of the ttc crew again.
Bleeding and cramping very strong now so I believe this is the mc starting properly now.

Welcome to the new ladies x

So ladies I have discovered a blog of instagram
Hilariously_infertile
This is so funny! All about infertility but in a funny way.

Sorry I don’t mean to be insensitive but f u r looking for just a laugh, feel good slap on the knee this page is really funny.

Sorry to hear that @mumlili9 🙏 xxx

I’m sorry @Mumlili9

Im so sorry @Mumlili9 xx

@Mumlili9 I’m so sorry, take good care of yourself xx

@MissSparkles81 slow reply,, but I really thought 5/6 days before ovulation was too early for dtd, I figured that was the most optimistic timings but unlikely to conceive. Keeping everything crossed for you this month. And if this doesn’t stick, I think at least I know I’ve got a few days to give it a try each month, I’d previously been assuming I only had two days to give us a good chance.

I am so sorry this is happening @Mumlili9 ❤️ we're here for you xx

Thank you @MissSparkles81 and @FloDaffodil. I sorry you're having a chemical too Flo. Mine happened quickly, I still had a faint positive on Wednesday but started bleeding that night. Had a surreal day at work yesterday - was stuck in the loo, unable to move and just had a moment of thinking this is shit and not where I want to be when my baby leaves me. In hindsight having a day at home might have been wise.

Hope everyone is OK today xx ❤️

@Mumlili9 I'm so very sorry. I wish I could say or do something to help. I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

@VenusStarr I'm sending you a big hug too. It's hard to know what to do, whether to go to work or not. Did you go home early or have some support from anyone at work? How are you doing today?

Thinking of all the ladies frustrated with their own bodies. The anger and the sadness. The guilt. 'Oh I'm fine, yeah great, no not up to much' replies to people who don't know you spent the weekend in agony, in tears, sitting on the loo wondering if 'it' is out yet.
You're not alone.
Onward and upwards to the next cycle xx

@SweetpeaOrMarigold thank you hun I couldn't have said that better. Yes that is how I'm spending my week end. I really want this to be are rainbow but after yet another loss I'm thinking it will never happen and I don't have the cash for private treatments and the NHS will not offer anything more due to my age. Where I live the cut off is 35 and I'm 38. I think I might have to accept its never for me. I'm not quitting yet but I'm going to have to learn to live with out. Then if it does happen it will be the happiest miracle

Hi @BunnytheBlueWhale and @VenusStarr, thanks for your welcome - Venus I do remember your name - potentially from a fibroid thread?? How is it going with you? xx

@Mumlili9 I'm so so sorry, I can't even imagine the amount you've gone through.. I know I'm only part way through my journey now (2 years in and one miscarriage) but I am already starting to come to terms with the possibility of a life without children.. I do mean 'starting' because mainly I'm just desolate at the idea.. I listened to a podcast yesterday with Marian Keyes about how she came to terms slowly with not having children. It was very moving but also gave me some hope. Idk if you are in the right place to listen but if you ever want to its this one howtofail.podbean.com/e/how-to-fail-marian-keyes/ - I feel like there are so many of us women out there who struggle in this way and listening to each other is one way to feel less alone. Sending lots of hugs xxx