TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Hi ladies. Thank you for your answers re: when is best to go back to work. I was wondering what are your thought or opinion on having a bath after naturally miscarrying. Seem to have mixed advises on this. My bleeding stopped yesterday then very light bleeding today but I feel like I really needed to get back to normal and have a relaxing bath. Temperature wasn't hot it was just warm. Thank you for your input. x

Hi @MOGMOGMOG85 yes I think probably a fibroid thread. I'm OK. Had a hysteroscopy in December and instead of removing a fibroid (they said they didn't see any!) I had a polyp removed. No idea if I still have the others but they've said they're not doing any more investigations and we're being referred for ivf for unexplained infertility - but I've conceived 3 times in the last year (zero pregnancies in the 16 months prior to that). Feeling confused as to if ivf is the logical next step really, but the hospital aren't explaining anything to us. I'm visiting a private clinic at the end of the month to have a look round. I think we can transfer our funding there. Also considering a private referral to Professor Quenby about the miscarriages - seeing the recurrent mc team soon too.
How are you? Did you decide to test in the end?

Thinking of you @Mumlili9, any news on your hysteroscopy? Hopefully that might provide some answers for you xx

@BunnytheBlueWhale I'm thinking of you this weekend ❤️❤️

@mrsmb03 I'm not sure about baths, but I think if you think you'll relax and it gives you a sense of normality then that's a good thing. Hope you're OK today.

I'm off to slimming world - managed to get my stone, but this week I'm thinking I've put on, seem to have plateaued these last couple of weeks. But I'm happy with my stone loss, bmi now 26.2 from 28.8 when I started 🙂 have a good day xx

@VenusStarr - wow - do you know what the difference between a polyp and a fibroid is?? So I guess that means they think the fibroids (if they are there?) are not a cause of your fertility issues at the moment?? It sounds like you have a lot of unanswered questions, that no-one has even explained ivf to you!!! Hopefully you will get to see a consultant soon who will be able to explain a bit more to you? I'm just about to go there myself - I have a gyno appointment next week and finally a specialist scan to find out where my fibroids are etc. I have to say I have a lot of hopes pinned on this appointment but I know realistically I may end up with more questions than I had before as I keep hearing from others... re: ivf i have no idea whether it might be appropriate for us - as far as I know my eggs and sperm are healthy, I assume you are the same? But one thought I had - if they can choose where to implant the embryo in ivf that could be helpful, if there is a "good" side to either of our wombs, or a better place away from fibroids? Also if womb lining is an issue I believe the drugs they give can thicken the lining up?? These are just thoughts that occurred to me the other day but sorry I actually have no idea.

After 1 miscarriage they said they would investigate if i had another one and I'm shocked that they haven't been more proactive with you - you poor thing.

I hope we both get some answers soon - I really hope referral to ivf will end up being a good thing for you, please do ask them lots of questions and make sure you understand what is going on before you leave your next consultation - its the worst feeling left in the dark :(

I did test on thursday morning BFN and cried for 5 hours... better than 5 days or 2 weeks like some of my recent cycles, but still gutting. Period not due until monday so I'm glad I put myself out of my misery though, i was having a particularly bad month for waiting and hoping xxx

@Mumlili9 I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope that you have lots of support around you at home x

@BunnytheBlueWhale I’m thinking of you, your DH and your dd this weekend and sending your daughter birthday wishes. I hope that you have a gentle weekend x

I have NC. Thank you. I’m ok. DH and I have argued. Standard. He mentioned in the argument his family sent cards because he asked them to. He said it almost as a defence of himself to show he’s thinking of me but it actually just highlighted his family are not interested at all. I don’t know who that applies to. Not his cousin and aunt (who sent lovely cards) but probably his mum and maybe his sister. MIL’s card is a one liner “thinking of you” type thing. Not even a mention of DD by name. Well done MIL 👍

Sorry I’m having an angry at the world day. Trying not to think back to this time last year which was probably DD’s last day living.

@JuniperAndRose Tomorrow is the anniversary of her death and next Thurs is the date she was born. Thank you.

Hope everyone is ok. I have read through but not fully focussed tbh.

@BunnytheElephant much love to you and your hubby for tomorrow and the rest of the coming week. Thinking of you ❤

Im currently 8 days po and boobs have been a bit tender over the past day or so. Im acutely aware that it could just be AF starting up so I am not testing.

I thought that after the mc I would be testing like a crazy woman but I am just patiently waiting it out.

Period is due on Valentines Day so knowing my luck it will arrive bang on.

Hope everyone is doing ok 💝

Good luck for this cycle @MissSparkles81

@MissSparkles81 We’re cycle buddies! 😆 I’m 8DPO today and due AF Valentine’s Day too!

Currently trying not to overthink the mild cramps I’ve had on and off all day 🙈 I swear our bodies are just mean to us some months!

@terribleImagination ... you are so right. Our bodies are awful to us at times. I dont feel the way I felt when I was pregnant last time so I am not getting my hopes up too much.

Fingers crossed this is your month lovely ❤

Thinking of you @BunnytheElephant xx

I'm back in the game. AF has finished. This time I'm trying femometer and have been charting my bbts and my first ever opk today had a really light line.
Think this is a better way because after the first MC I had no idea when Ov might have happened, then had a CP straight after.

Whats driving me crazy is that I've felt sick the entire time since my first pregnancy mid December. Every time I'm hungry or tired I feel really nauseous and still getting random cramps on and off, plus that metallic taste is still there.
Only sign I can properly trust is my boobs go enormous when I'm pregnant.
Good luck everyone for February sticky beans

Hi @SweetpeaOrMarigold @MissSparkles81 and @TerribleImagination - I have found since my MC that I get cramps at odd times, my boobs get bigger before my period, and my moods are all over the place - its meant i've got my hopes up almost every time which seems so cruel.

My period is due on Monday and this month my boobs are massive - even my boyfriend woke up this morning and went "whoa" and it's weird for him to notice anything! But I tested thursday morning and BFN so who knows why this is happening to me. I'm just hoping my period is more normal this time, this will be bleed no 5 since the MC and its' been quite weird and watery compared to how it was before the last 4...

@BunnytheElephant I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I totally understand the angry at the world thing. I never used to be an angry person but all through this journey of infertility and miscarriage I have been furious, it's like no-one can say or do anything right. When I was pg too I felt really angry, but it felt more empowering then, now I just feel empty.. I got referred for counselling through my gp - is this something you have looked into? it's not a magic cure but it is really helpful to have someone to talk to, even if you end up finding them annoying too (as i have!) it can still be helpful.. xxx

@Mumlili9 I’m so sorry. Hope you don’t feel you need to rush into any decisions now when it must feel so raw.

@BunnytheElephant thinking of you this week. Hope you have other close friends and family to lean on when the in-laws don’t get it.

@mrsmb03 I think the risk is that, while you’re bleeding, your cervix may still be open so you don’t want anything to get into your womb and cause an infection. The advice I’ve always been given is to avoid soap/shower gel and just wash with plain water until the bleeding has stopped. Maybe a bath without bubbles/salts would be okay?

I still haven’t started bleeding after CP (8 days since first negative pregnancy test). But thought I was getting egg whites so did an OPK and weirdly got a positive for ovulation this morning. Surely not possible without having AF first so am very confused with what’s going on with hormones. Has that ever happened to anyone else?

@FloDaffodil hello have you tried another hpt just in case. But yes I imagine it's very possible.

@FloDaffodil @SweetpeaOrMarigold @BunnytheBlueWhale @Avocuddles
@JuniperAndRose @VenusStarr
@MOGMOGMOG85 and any one else I didn't mention

Thanks for asking after me. I'm doing OK really. I had an extremely painful day Saturday but all pain and bleeding has slowed to more of a brown spotting today. So I believe the actual mc is over now the healing begins.
This morning DH and I had a talk and I know I'm not ready to admit defeat yet and DH said he was willing to keep trying as long as I wanted but if it puts my health in danger like the mmc in October 18 (hemorrhage and emergency surgery) then he will say no more and I can see where he's coming from.
@VenusStarr I've still not heard anything from the hospital yet. I've left messages with the surgeons secretary but they did not call back so I'm going to ask gp to chase it up for me.

I'm sorry to hear some of you ladies are having a really hard time with dates and anniversaries.

Hoping the ladies in the tww are coping and Fx for bfps.

@Mumlili9 I'm really sorry to read your update! What a rollercoaster you've been through! Fecking unfair! Look after yourself!

@VenusStarr sorry about your news too! It truly sucks!

I have peak fertility. I had the same sign last month too and didn’t get pregnant so dunno...DH and I were lazy and we’re just DTD this morning I got the sign. I woke him up and demanded we get busy! He want to sleep I’m like not now.

@Mumlili9 sounds like a complex situation - I was in the hospital with heavy bleeding during mine but it started to slow and complete just before they were going to take action. In my case it helped restore trust in my body that it got the job done, and I'm grateful for that - so I can only imagine how scary it must have been for you to be rushed into emergency surgery :( sounds like you're not ready to give up just yet though. I'm sending you lots of strength and hoping you take some time to regroup and look after yourself before you decide on your next step. Sounds like your hubby is lovely and supportive like mine - I'm so grateful for that in this dark time xxxx

AF arrived today - as expected, but its still gutting every time. Shed a few tears I'm not going to lie, and will be sad for a few days, but then back on my feet xxxx

Hi all. @Mumlili9 I'm really sorry to hear your update. It's good that you and your DH are on the same page and can talk about these things together. Sounds like you have a plan.

I'm on CD6 of this month now, AF is just finishing up so we'll be starting again. I think we might aim for DTD every other day this month from CD8. I'm still not sure how long my cycles are. Last month was 26 days, the month before 30. Predicted ovulation is either CD 14 or 15 so I'm hoping every other day until about CD18 may work. I don't want to get too obsessed with OPKs as I got confused last month, didnt get a positive so I'm not going to use them this time.

Hope everyone is doing ok and sending hugs to all. X

I'm sorry af arrived @MOGMOGMOG85, it doesn't get easier ❤️ my understanding is polyps are in the endometrial lining whereas fibroids are in the muscle? I've read polyps can create a hostile environment so still trying to be hopeful.

@Mumlili9 hope you're OK. Glad you and your dh are talking things through.

Good to hear from you @Russkispy how are you?

Thinking of you @BunnytheElephant ❤️

I'm cd 5/6 (the bleeding started last Wednesday evening so no sure which day to count from). But, I feel like I'm coming up to ovulation already and have done a opk and it's pretty dark already. Could just be my cycle is out of sync - if I hadn't had the chemical and af arrived on time, I'd be cd10 now and I have been ovulating around cd10-12 these last few months. I'm temping as well and we've decided to dtd every other day until cd18 (great minds @Shefliesonherownwings :) ) it worked last month so 🤞
Also, ivf news, we have a group meeting in March - our funding is approved! It seems to be progressing quickly but we'll be ttc on our own and hope our next sperm and egg will be the one 🌈

@Mumlili9 I'm here!

I need to read the thread and then I'll introduce myself properly. Needless to say I have back story like all of us here xxx

Hello for now.💛

@avocadoincident welcome to this thread and sorry for your loss.

@VenusStarr congrats on ivf funding!
I’m hoping mine come thru soon enough to do feb cycle!!!!

So having not slept a wink I've read this thread. Some heartbreaking posts and some wry laughs throughout.

I'm avocado incident. I'm 40. I had an mmc in October at 20 weeks. A little girl we called Lilwen (old Welsh name).

Then over the weekend I began to bleed at 6-7 weeks. I had an early nhs scan booked yesterday at 9am and I actually miscarried everything in the road outside the hospital. I went in and presented the nurse with the contents. Scan confirmed no retained products.

Nice young (scared) dr reluctantly referred me to recurrent miscarriage clinic and I've got blood tests booked in.

As if all that wasn't enough we had the meeting with the consultant at 11am to go through Lilwen's post mortem results. It showed nothing which they said was good. 🤷‍♀️

Feeling numb but I am an eternal optimist so I know this will pass.

And so here I am having met @Mumlili9 on another thread.

I've been looking for the other thread about getting fit and losing weight but can't find no matter what I search.

Does anyone have a link please?

TTC after loss penguins get fit & healthy in 2020 @avocadoincident