TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

[Mumlili9]

@BeetheQueenBee have you tried taking magnesium it's amazing for leveling out your moods. Also excellent for helping to regulate your cycle. Anything is worth a go hun x

[Mumlili9]

Well I'm having a funny cycle already. CD 8 and no hormones doing anything. This time the last 2 cycles I had a peak on cbfm and positive opk. I'm wondering if its the evening primrose oil I'm taking. Any thoughts ladies?
@peperethecat that are these things your trying this cycle, I've not heard of any of these.

[peperethecat]

@Mumlili9 That's good news, isn't it? You were concerned about ovulating too early last time. Hopefully this is a good sign.

I'm having a monitored cycle so I had an ultrasound on Monday and I have another one this evening. The plan is that when my dominant follicle is mature we will trigger ovulation with Ovitrelle. And tomorrow I'm going to hospital for some tests (not exactly sure what) and while I'm there they're going to give me intralipids.

I can't wait to see how things look on the ultrasound later. I never normally ovulate before CD18 at the earliest, so if it looks like my follicle is mature and ready to go now (on CD14) maybe my body doesn't ovulate until my egg is already past its best. My estrogen levels are up but my LH levels are not even close to peaking.

[BeetheQueenBee]

@Mumlili9 I will read up on magnesium. I had read evening primrose oil is good for moods but need to read what is safe to take why TTC etc and plan to speak to GP about it as it’s a real problem.

I don’t know what EPO does to cycle but it’s possible this might be a slightly longer cycle for you are are you usually v regular?

[Mumlili9]

@BeetheQueenBee I was very regular before the ectopic usually ovulated between cd11 and cd13. I decided not to take the epo today and see what happens.

@peperethecat it is great but just to be a winger I want it to happen by cd12 or hubby will be back at work and dtd doesn't happen during his work week. I'm never happy am I 😂

[VenusStarr]

How did your scan go @peperethecat? Glad your being monitored

@Mumlili9 I've just bought some evening primrose oil. My shingles is not better, on a different course of antibiotics and thought the epo might also help. Plus the potential fertility benefits. Hopefully your cycle will regulate soon 🤞

@BeetheQueenBee I'm so sorry about your colleagues. Its really upsetting. I just think people are so consumed in their own lives they just don't think :(

How are you @Flodaffodil? ❤️

I called the clinic for the nk cells (it's attached to an NHS hospital that has been approved to reopen), no news yet but they're going to email me. I'm half tempted to not try, not protect this cycle. I'll probably ovulate next weekend so need to know soonish.

I've felt awful all week, trying to limit the amount of time I'm spending thinking about miscarriage and fertility.

[peperethecat]

@VenusStarr The scan went really well. My follicle is about ready to pop and my lining looks normal (!) so I'm going to be triggering with Ovitrelle tonight. I think the logic is that although I ovulate on my own, the Ovitrelle will strengthen (and probably bring forward) my ovulation, as well as helping to support the luteal phase. I will also be giving myself two half doses of Ovitrelle next week. My gynaecologist's theory is that the HCG will send a message to my corpus luteum to keep pumping out natural progesterone. But he's putting me on progesterone supplements too. (Oral ones this time thank God!)

Today I'm at the hospital getting a load of tests done. I've been here a couple of hours but not seen the doctor yet. They've taken all my blood and all my pee and now I'm just sitting here reading the magazines. I'll be getting an intralipid injection later.

[VenusStarr]

That all sounds great @peperethecat ☺️ sounds like you're being monitored and supported really well. I hope this works for you this cycle.

[Mumlili9]

I think ovulation is getting closer but yet again on my bad side. Is it possible to only ever ovulate from one side? I'm gutted as I though things might be leveling out and we were in with a shot because I got some mild twinges in my right side 2 days ago but no. I'm never going to get pregnant again and it's really making me resent my body.

[Mumlili9]

@VenusStarr sorry your not feeling better yet. I've never had shingles but I've heard that it's awful and painful. Hope this round of antibiotics does the trick.

I made the mistake of getting totally burnt in the garden yesterday very badly. I'm feeling very defeated today 😔

[VenusStarr]

😔 I can relate to resenting my body @Mumlili9. I've bought a baby loss guide book which has some practical tips to processing things. My dh thinks I need more counselling but I'm tired of talking about it all.

I don't want to say it will happen as none of us know. But I do know that even if you ovulate from the bad side, you can still conceive as our tubes float around. But saying that, I think we're in similar mindsets, I almost feel like it's pointless thinking it could work because it gets my hopes up and then I feel worse when it hasn't worked and I feel silly for believing it could happen ❤️

[VenusStarr]

I don't know if any of you like podcasts, but the comedian Kathryn Ryan has shared her experience of missed miscarriage on hers. I listened yesterday and I'd really recommend it. She talked about when her body held onto the pregnancy and then thinking of it from her baby's perspective and honestly, my heart broke. It was so beautiful and I've not thought about it in that way before, maybe the baby was scared and being with her felt safe 💔 but I like that sentiment. I've been so caught up in my body failing. It's helped me gain a different perspective.

[Mumlili9]

@frillyfucks hello hun how are you? Think I've had a name change since you were here. I used to be lilimum8, been here forever.
@VenusStarr what a lovely thought.


Well it's 2 days past my usual ovulation and lh is none existent. Not sure what my body is doing this time. Thing is I've got evil ovulation pain on both sides this cycle. I've been really bad with temping too. Plus I don't think getting horribly sunburnt 3 days ago helped much with my mood.

How is every one. We are going to have to think about a new thread soon too. Who wants to start a new one?

[BeetheQueenBee]

@frillyfucks It’s so lovely to hear from you and that you remember my baby girl ❤️. Thank you so much for kind words. This past year or so has been very tough but I have lots to be grateful for and I’m still hoping for my rainbow baby one day too 🌈 💗

I hope you are doing well too?

@peperethecat That all sounds positive🤞

@VenusStarr That sounds like a good listen. And @mumlili9 It is so easy to think the worst after a loss or having been through months or years of trying but none of us know what the future holds.

I don’t mind starting a new thread @mumlili9 if needed

[Mumlili9]

@BeetheQueenBee yes if you don't mind
And your right I can't give up I don't know what's in the future.

[BeetheQueenBee]

Ok no problem @Mumlili9 I will start a new one and then post the link.

I’m sure we’ve discussed this before but how do you all feel about exercise during fertile week / around the time of ovulation? Do you change anything? I do a moderate cardio class (online) about 3 x a week. It’s 30-60 mins of moderate to intense cardio but not HIIT. Most of the advice is that exercise is fine when TTC but I sometimes worry I will disrupt ovulation if doing good much...

[frillyfucks]

Oh @Mumlili9 I'm sorry to see your number has gone up again, I'm so sorry you are still on this group xxx
Everything is very good with us thank you and @BeetheQueenBee for asking. I really am rooting for both of you, you so deserve happy endings to this journey xxxx

[VenusStarr]

Good to hear from you @frillyfucks (like the new name) I'm pleased to hear that all is well with you. Hearing good outcomes definitely helps. After 3 losses now, I have been struggling a lot, but knowing that there is still hope is wonderful ❤️

I hope everyone is doing OK. Just picked up my third set of antibiotics, this rash is blummin stubborn. Hoping these clear it up 🤞

[clitterratti]

Hi Ladies! Just caught up!

Will post more tonight xx

[Mumlili9]

@BeetheQueenBee thank you hun. As to exercise I think it's when your doing excessive exercise I think that it can hinder things but might be a question for a fertility specialist I 🤔 think

@frillyfucks yes it's really rather crappy, the last one was an ectopic and I lost my tube and gained 2 holes in my uterus. So struggling to be honest. 9 losses is enough. We are giving it one more go but if its another mc then that will be it for us.
Hello @VenusStarr and @clitterratti how are you ladies. Sorry to hear your still not better @VenusStarr

[VenusStarr]

Good to see you @clitterratti, hope you're OK :)

@Mumlili9 are you still temping and using opks? Hope you ovulate soon. I'm just going into another fertile week - short cycles are a blessing and a curse - dh said we can properly try this cycle (no news from my clinic on the biopsy). Aiming for sperm meets egg plan 🤞

@peperethecat how did you get on with the trigger shot? Are you in your tww now?

@BeetheQueenBee I haven't done any serious exercise for a while now, I've completely fallen off the healthy wagon to be honest. I think if it helps your mental health to exercise, then carry on. I really feel like ttc has taken over my life, so having things that help you love your life can't be a bad thing.

Hope you're OK @FloDaffodil x

[BeetheQueenBee]

@Mumlili9 It’s one of those things with conflicting advice but the general gist seems to be that it’s ok to continue what you’ve been doing for a while as long as not professional athlete level. I don’t have a fertility specialist. That’s what you are all for 😂 Just kidding.

@VenusStarr I’ve been exercising since the lockdown started and it does help my mental health if nothing else. If anything I maybe need to put more effort into TTC. I meant to use CB OPKs this month (haven’t used them for a few cycles) and missed the day to start testing but have a load of OneStep tests I could use. Is there anything you can do so you don’t feel like TTC is taking over your life? Are you working at the moment? I have found just being busy at work helps me to feel like I’m not constantly thinking about TTC especially when it’s fertile week and then the 2WW.

[peperethecat]

@VenusStarr I took the trigger shot on Friday night and then for the last couple of days I've been panicking because I haven't yet seen a clear temp rise. It's my first time taking the trigger shot so I don't know what to expect. Supposed to be testing on 1st June, but I also have to take two more half doses of Ovitrelle tomorrow and on Saturday, and it wouldn't surprise me if the HCG from the trigger shot was still hanging around in my system on 1st June. I've been doing daily cheapies and the second line is still very dark four days post shot, and that's before the top ups I have to do this week.

[VenusStarr]

It sounds stressful @peperethecat, do you not have a scan to confirm ovulation? I naively assumed that a controlled ovulation would make things simpler. I hope you do get confirmation of ovulation 🤞

@BeetheQueenBee work is really busy at the moment and I actually feel really productive, it's like I'm investing all my energy into my work and once I've logged off, I'm spent. I do want to start adding in more physical activity as I do think that would help.