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Conception

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TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

959 replies

BunnytheBlueWhale · 23/01/2020 09:23

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

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Mumlili9 · 30/03/2020 10:36

@BunnytheBee I hope that's true coz I definitely ovulated last night on the left side (gutted) and oh my goodness both ovulations since my surgery have been so painful. I couldn't dtd as I was doubled up with sharp pains. I hope my body will do me a favour and 1 preform a miracle and catch the egg on the wrong side and 2 that DH swimmers from the night before survived long enough to do there job.
It's really hard to think I'm probably out and it's only just 1dpo.

BunnytheBee · 30/03/2020 12:39

@Mumlili9 Fingers crossed for you. Just be easy on yourself as your body has been through a lot. We barely dtd this month so I think I’m out and it’s not a great feeling but it sounds like there is a chance for us .

Mumlili9 · 30/03/2020 13:30

@BunnytheBee hope so hun fingers 🤞. DH is saying to me oh we will try again tonight and I've tried to explain it's to late but he just doesn't get it.

clitterratti · 30/03/2020 15:02

...I have been bbqing everyday these past few days. I am a spiteful bitch sometimes.

Speaking of true blood; I have just got af and I'm gutted.

But also, I enjoyed those strange super fast sex scenes in true blood. And I don't know why, but I looooove love love the name 'Suki'

clitterratti · 30/03/2020 15:05

@Mumlili9

You are just as woman if not 'more' woman with one tube. You have courage and you have plans and you have determination. I've met soo many women who tried once, didn't get what they wanted so they just gave up.

Giving up is so easy to do; you track, you monitor, you write in this thread and you keep hope. You are ultra woman. Please remember that. We're in this together and you will succeed.

Mumlili9 · 30/03/2020 17:22

@clitterratti thank you for your kind words. Maybe one day I will be able to feel like that x

MOGMOGMOG85 · 30/03/2020 19:40

@BunnytheBee @Mumlili9 fingers crossed for you both this month - you def have a chance at least, even though Bunny I know you're not even sure you wanted to try this month!

@Mumlili9 definitely not less of a woman. I have thought about this a lot because I feel it too, the fact I can't get pregnant (or y'know once in 22 months) and pondering whether I'll ever give birth really messes with my idea of the beauty and the strength you're supposed to have as a woman (going through the pain of childbirth and creating a life). It made me feel useless. But having thought about it, if pain is what I think it takes to make a real, strong woman, I honestly think the emotional torture of infertility and miscarriage is 10x worse. Ask any woman who wants children what would they prefer, of course they would prefer childbirth. So in a way we are the true warrior women, dealing with all the grief, the stress, the dashed hopes, the strained relationships, all the crass things people say, and then for me being hospitalised for my miscarriage and for you surgery and a life-threatening situation! We really are all so strong to be here, to be trying as @clitterratti says. There is no justice in this world and it's all such random dumb luck, so who knows what the future holds, but to say we are less is definitely, definitely wrong! Also I think this journey, as awful as it is, has given me so much more empathy and understanding. I used to think for example "why on earth would anyone be a surrogate?" and now I know how horrific infertility is, I wish I could give that gift to someone in a heartbeat (of course I'm the last person to offer hope in that way!). Don't talk yourself down, you've been through hell and you're surviving and fighting xxx

@clitterratti - it is a nice name! Mb a go-er for when you do get your rainbow baby! I also like the version Sookie from Gilmore Girls :) Sorry about af... I think I'll be there with you in a week, don't feel hopeful about this month, trying not to think about it xx

@BunnytheBee my bf hasn't actually heard whether he's through to the interview stage yet, he was supposed to hear yesterday but didn't so assumed he was out, but then got an email today saying they'd hear today or tomorrow. He still might not hear if he doesn't get anything. The pupillage stage is so cruel! He had anxiety nightmares about it last night and I woke him up trying to get frisky and he was not up for it at all hahah oh dear... !!

clitterratti · 31/03/2020 09:48

Hi girls,

Should we make ttc a bit more fun? I was thinking of making a chart of the different positions we used on different days to see which ones were most effective for us? Is that lame? Too raunchy?

I think the 'wheel barrow' is what will do it for me. Anyone else want to share?

BunnytheBee · 31/03/2020 21:22

@clitterratti I’m really enjoying True Blood and also Liar and Kidding, which just came back for season 2 today!

@MOGMOGMOG85 Thanks. I am still an it hopeful. I’d be happy to be pregnant as it’s something I want and don’t know when or if it will happen but I know it will bring a lot more anxiety with it and I’d probably lock myself in the house to be super safe but then I’d probably be hesitant to see my parents for example (if restrictions are lifted) and I haven’t seen them for months so who knows... Has your boyfriend heard anything about his job today? I wonder if the chambers are just a bit all over the place as none of us really know what’s going on with the coronavirus and the courts. A lot of them are WFH. So no news could still be good news. It is tough.

@clitterati I think my chart would be quite dull 😂 but there is a position called the baby maker I quite like 😬🙈

@Mumlili9 How are you?

Hope everyone is ok

TheFoz · 31/03/2020 22:26

Hi everyone, I’m new to this part of mumsnet.

I’m 41, had an early miscarriage at 5 + 2 at the end of August and a mmc diagnosed at our scan at 7 + 4 at the end of November. Used medical management but needed an ERPC at the middle of December.
I started using the Flo app in the last 5 weeks or so. AF is due on 2/04, symptoms for pregnancy and AF are the same for me so it’s impossible to guess! I’m really not sure that I ovulated this month though. At 170lbs I have a fair bit of weight to lose so that’s a focus, I’m just afraid it’s not going to happen.
I ordered OPK’s last night on amazon so I should have them over the weekend, this is a whole new world for me, I have 2 kids and no bother conceiving either of them. I’m trying to increase my progesterone naturally through diet as I’m worried that’s an issue.

BunnytheBee · 31/03/2020 22:29

Sorry for your losses @TheFoz and good luck for this cycle

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 13:04

@BunnytheBeeim doing OK 3 dpo now. I was utterly convinced I ovulated on my bad side (tubeless side) but now I'm not sure I've have painful ovulation type cramps over the last 4 days but they alternate sides so I'm super confused 😕. How are you doing?
@clitterratti (tmi) we go for a couple each time but the finishing one is always good old missionary that way I don't have to move for at least an hour (lol don't want to waste a drop) omg was that way to much (I'm ashamed of myself and I will go sit in the corner and think about my actions)

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 13:11

@TheFoz hello and welcome. So sorry for your losses. This is a wonderful safe place full of wonderful ladies. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you like. I've been here forever (since thread 14) and I truely couldn't have gotten through all my losses with out these ladies.
Now just a quick question what is this miracle diet your doing for progesterone. Mine is low because I always get a really slow bbt rise after ovulation which indicates low progesterone production

clitterratti · 01/04/2020 13:33

@TheFoz welcome to our huddle! I am so very sorry for your losses. I know how frustrating it can be. We are in this together, and we hope for ourselves as much as we hope for each other. Stress is the last thing you need, don't be disappointed either. You're on this. It will happen.

@BunnytheBee I think I need to look up 'the baby maker'. I'm on my third day of AF and I keep thinking of my next round of baby making plans.My logic: I need to be in a happy place for this to happen. Sex makes me happy. Happy sex will make me a baby (I hope).

@Mumlili9 aint no shame in sharing. Be proud. Be victorious. I wish you all the success in not wasting a drop. We all feel the same way about the good old man juice.

BunnytheBee · 01/04/2020 17:28

@Mumlili9 @clitterratti I’m spotting today and feel v on edge so AF must be on her way 😒 I’m fine but have mentioned before I get severe PMTT so not feeling amazing

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 18:36

@BunnytheBee oh hun I'm sorry AF looks to be on her way. Do you get bad pmt every cycle. I'm sure I've read something about pmt and vitamin E but not 100% on that. I take evening primrose oil from AF to ovulation and that seems to have calmed mine down.

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 18:41

@Hayleylou89 @Whiffle77 @SweetpeaOrMarigold @MissSparkles81 @ravenwheeler @Shefliesonherownwings @Avocuddles @VenusStarr how are you ladies getting on?

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 18:48

@MOGMOGMOG85 @footprintsintheslow
How are you ladies?

Sorry I've not tagged everyone. I've kind of lost track of where we all are. I lost ast to who has moved on to the sister thread now.

On another note I've got my hospital appointment tomorrow and god am I nervous. I have a ton of questions for him though, he might regret seeing me lol

BunnytheBee · 01/04/2020 18:53

@Mumlili9 Yes it’s so bad every time. I mean I really feel completely down, depressed and v irritable for 5 or more days. It affects my life quite a lot. I can’t even concentrate on work when I have it. I will look into vitamins e and also evening primrose, which I think I’ve heard about before.

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. If you haven’t already I suggest writing all your questions down.

Hayleylou89 · 01/04/2020 18:57

@Mumlili9 im good try to find my peak on my cb but its taking its time and doing my head in now as iv had alot of flashing smileys! In CD 16 today and my natural cycles app is saying ill ov on sunday ... my cheap opks seem to be getting stronger so the sooner the better so i can get in the tww 🙂 hope ur all well! Xx

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 19:22

@Hayleylou89 yes I'm getting there thanks. Fx for this fw you never know this could be your month xx

@BunnytheBee I'm sorry you have to go through this every cycle. Have you spoken to the GP about it? Have you tried 'Head space' it is really good for relaxation. I've just started doing castor oil packs and I really enjoy it. But I have to stop now I'm in the tww. Maybe give that a go too

SweetpeaOrMarigold · 01/04/2020 19:52

Hi @Mumlili8 thanks for thinking of me!
Have been burying my head for a bit, this 'not trying' is rubbish. Think one month is enough! I definitely feel mentally better and we are happier than ever. Reassessed how we both feel, and we both want to try again, just not sure when.
Am a frontline nurse so its tricky at present, unsure if we should hold off til I know if I've had it or not. Also as soon as you're pregnant you go off into hibernation at the moment, don't know if I could cope with another MC with the whole ward knowing.
My MC appt has been cancelled, so again, unsure what to do. My 2 months of thyroxine have nearly run out, so going to try phoning GP tomorrow for a plan.
Haven't read through, have been hiding from MN til today.
Will catch up tomorrow, hope everyone is ok xxx

VenusStarr · 01/04/2020 20:00

Thanks for the tag @Mumlili9 ❤️ good luck for tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Sorry to hear af is on the way @BunnytheBee ❤️

I'm really not good at the moment. We're not ttc and I thought I was coping but it hit me this morning. Plus it's the first anniversary of my first liss on Saturday and I've not stopped crying today. Feeling really shit.

Sorry not a good update. Hope everyone is OK. X

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 20:08

@VenusStarr no need to apologise hun that's that this group is for all the good bad and in-between times. I'm sorry your so upset. Anniversaries are so hard and they will always be a sensitive time, they do get easier to cope with, I still cry for my first and that was 3 years ago now. Please be gentle with your self xx

Mumlili9 · 01/04/2020 20:11

@SweetpeaOrMarigold can I firstly just say thank you for the really hard job your doing right now xx. Surely the GP can give you more thyroxine or do you need a check up and medication review?

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