@BunnytheBee @Mumlili9 fingers crossed for you both this month - you def have a chance at least, even though Bunny I know you're not even sure you wanted to try this month!
@Mumlili9 definitely not less of a woman. I have thought about this a lot because I feel it too, the fact I can't get pregnant (or y'know once in 22 months) and pondering whether I'll ever give birth really messes with my idea of the beauty and the strength you're supposed to have as a woman (going through the pain of childbirth and creating a life). It made me feel useless. But having thought about it, if pain is what I think it takes to make a real, strong woman, I honestly think the emotional torture of infertility and miscarriage is 10x worse. Ask any woman who wants children what would they prefer, of course they would prefer childbirth. So in a way we are the true warrior women, dealing with all the grief, the stress, the dashed hopes, the strained relationships, all the crass things people say, and then for me being hospitalised for my miscarriage and for you surgery and a life-threatening situation! We really are all so strong to be here, to be trying as @clitterratti says. There is no justice in this world and it's all such random dumb luck, so who knows what the future holds, but to say we are less is definitely, definitely wrong! Also I think this journey, as awful as it is, has given me so much more empathy and understanding. I used to think for example "why on earth would anyone be a surrogate?" and now I know how horrific infertility is, I wish I could give that gift to someone in a heartbeat (of course I'm the last person to offer hope in that way!). Don't talk yourself down, you've been through hell and you're surviving and fighting xxx
@clitterratti - it is a nice name! Mb a go-er for when you do get your rainbow baby! I also like the version Sookie from Gilmore Girls :) Sorry about af... I think I'll be there with you in a week, don't feel hopeful about this month, trying not to think about it xx
@BunnytheBee my bf hasn't actually heard whether he's through to the interview stage yet, he was supposed to hear yesterday but didn't so assumed he was out, but then got an email today saying they'd hear today or tomorrow. He still might not hear if he doesn't get anything. The pupillage stage is so cruel! He had anxiety nightmares about it last night and I woke him up trying to get frisky and he was not up for it at all hahah oh dear... !!