TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 34 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[BunnytheBlueWhale]

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to give and receive support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and child loss is one of the most difficult things we can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

I have found so much comfort from the lovely ladies on this thread and I’m hoping for lots of BFPs in 2020!

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@Mumlili9 how are you feeling today? Hope your hormone crash has worn off. How is the physical recovery coming along?

@VenusStarr I'm so so happy you've had the test! I hope it comes back quickly and I really hope you get some clarity soon... that makes sense about the 2 tests - good that they are thorough! I'm doing much better thanks, I just needed a couple of days to recover. I've realised that I can just about manage to keep myself ticking over, sane, and even happy at times if I look after myself and stay in my lovely little bubble with my partner, going to work, going on lots of walks etc. but if I am in the presence of a pregnant friend it is too much for me. @avocadoincident thanks for your kind words too xx

@Morganmom I am so so so sorry about your very early miscarriage (I don't know what an evap is) that must be heartbreaking. Just before Christmas I was convicned I was pregnant and didn't have a test so I did an ovulation test - I had read women online saying you could use it as a pregnancy test? Anyway I got a positive and I thought I was pregnant for a day, called my mum and everything. Until the next day when I took a real test and realised I wasn't, then googled it and you CANT use an ovulation test as a pregnancy test - I'll never do that again! It wasn't real for me but it was gutting nonetheless. I hope you're feeling a bit better today xx

@SweetpeaOrMarigold It took me about 5 cycles until I didn't get cramping at odd times during my cycle and every time I thought it was because I was pg - i never used to get cramping not even really on my period. Add onto this huge breasts and weird mood swings and it's been a steep learning curve. I think for some people it really does take up to 6 months, probably more for some, to return to normal xxx

Just past ovulation (I don't test but think I probably ov'd yesterday or day before) and already I'm imagining I'm pregnant. I fall into it every single time... trying to keep myself on track by repeating that it's not the end of the world if I'm not :( anyone else in synch with me? xx

oh @VenusStarr forgot to say yes def a time to allow brownie and coffee!! I'd probably kill for a coffee but I'm avoiding it for the sake of ttc. I even feel guilty when I drink a decaf which I hope someone will tell me is unfounded!!! Having said that I'm having a beer now.. I don't drink much (have a big knees-up maybe once every 6 weeks) but have decided that I don't want to go tee-total for the sake of my sanity.

what is everyone else doing in the name of maximising fertility? I'd love to know if anyone is doing any special diets or taking any supplements etc - I'm desperate and will try anything as long as it's not harmful!!!

@mogmogmog85 you r hilarious! I actually had my mom visiting and showed her the line as soon as she woke up! I guess most daughters do the same! And yeah having a margarita just a couple
Min ago cuz I deserve to sit back and relax and not let this ttc drive me crazy

Hi Ladies,

Hello Hope you are all okay. My Natural MC happened on 27 Jan, and up to now I still have spotting. Last week there were two days that I have period like bleeding and it was almost like maroon reddish discharge but now it is just brown (sorry if TMI) so i'm thinking these are now old blood but is this normal? It has been a few weeks since I MC but I read somewhere it could take up to a month, the bleeding?
Also, I just remembered now that the EPU nurse told me to do a pregnancy test after two weeks but I totally forgot. I should have done it on the 14th Feb. Can I take it anytime of the day or do I need to do the first pee of the morning?

Would appreciate your thoughts on these. Many thanks and hugs to all. xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I also want to know as we would like to TTC as soon as possible! I would like to do anything if it could help us conceive x

@mrsmb03 I was told to take my pregnancy test after three weeks so I'm doing mine tomorrow morning. They didn't say to do it first thing but I'm sticking to that anyway. X

@avocadoincident @MOGMOGMOG85 thanks for asking after me. I think physically I'm recovering, mentally that's to be continued. This miscarriage has truely broken me. I'm struggling with the fact that my baby was alive and I had to sacrifice it for my life. The second sac did not proceed past sac and yoke so technically a blighted ovum. So I have now experienced every type of miscarriage apart from tfmr god forbid that should happen. I am not hopeful for our future but I'm not ready to quit yet. I'm praying that miscarriage number 10 will never happen. DH and I have talked and decided that if we should lose another we will call it a day, there's only so much we can take emotionally. I did a hpt today just to see where I am and it's still a pale line not faint but a solid pink line, so I've a bit yet before I think my cycle will start but that's not a bad thing I don't think I could cope with AF anytime soon. I don't know about you ladies but the first AF after miscarriage feels like salt in the wounds and I'm not ready to face that yet.

Baby dust to you all x. Fx for the ladies in ttw and good luck for the ladies in fw. Sticky glue to all early pregnancies we know about and don't yet know about x

Hi ladies I hope you’re all ok. Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet but have been reading along when I feel up to it

Hope you’re ok @Mumlili9

and @VenusStarr*@JuniperAndRose @MOGMOGMOG85* @avocadoincident

Hi @mrsmb03, I think with my first I did a test about 2.5 weeks later and there was a very faint line - dh couldn't see it, but I could. It's awful waiting for a negative test ❤️ hope you're OK.

Hope you're OK today @avocadoincident, did you test today?

@Mumlili9 I've been thinking of you a lot. I am so sorry this happened. I'm glad you and dh and are able to keep talking. I've found that just not ttc is too hard, but as we're doing these additional tests, I'm still doing something, if that makes sense? Dh is uncomfortable with continuing to try without trying to rule out or get answers as to why the miscarriages happened and I respect that, it's really tough though.
I'm sending you lots of love ❤️

@BunnytheBee don't apologise for being quiet, we all need to look after ourselves. Sending love to you xx

Sorry to hear your news @Morganmom hope you enjoyed the margarita!

@MOGMOGMOG85 glad you're feeling a bit better after the weekend. I hope the tww passes quickly for you. I'm waiting on af, had some potting today but that may be from the biopsy. I ended up having pizza for dinner and watching a netflix film about ivf on Monday🤦‍♀️
With regards to fertility stuff, I take 200mg of ubiquinol, folic acid and vitamin D. I'm still (mainly) following slimming world and trying to get my bmi down to 25. I'm struggling with exercise though - not done any for months! I don't drink alot of tea and coffee in the weeks really and minimal alcohol. Wondering if I should do more 🤔

Had a horrible dream that dh left me, then told me that a girl who fancied him left him a box of juice on his car seat and he thought that was really romantic. I was like what the eff you telling me that for?! So random. Feel horrible today, think I have a migraine coming.

We've got our recurrent miscarriage follow up today, so will officially get my blood test results. Not expecting much more to be honest.

Positive news - I visited a private ivf clinic last night and had a brief free meeting with a consultant there. He listened to our history and I explained I was going for the nk cells testing. I asked him if he thought based on our history and that I have a hideous eczema flare up it was likely that my immune system was in part responsible for our difficulties and he said that coupled with my thyroid fluctuations would indicate yes. I know it's just an opinion and he hasn't seen my bloods or tests but I feel more reassured that we're not barking up the wrong tree. He also explained how ivf might be helpful for us. I just felt like it was more personal than our nhs experience to date. So, we're thinking of moving our funding to there (if and when my test results come back and we do need ivf). I do feel like my brain is going to explode but I can't just do nothing.

We're off on holiday in 2 weeks, really feel like we need a proper break now.

Xx

@VenusStarr thanks for asking after me.
Sounds like your ready for any outcome now hun. It must feel good to have plans in place. I'm praying that if something is wrong they can fix it. You've been through hell and back and deserve some happy now. As for your dreams I get it coz I have similar dreams but in mine DH is see other women but hasn't left me but tells me all about the women and how perfect they are. Dreams can be horrible. But a friend told me that dreams like that are more about how I feel about myself rather than how I feel about DH. It understandable that we would feel that way given the crap nature has handed us to date. Hope to day goes as well as it can do and maybe you get some answers x

@Mumlili9 I'm so sorry. I dont know how you are able to cope with your losses. You are so strong. Wishing you lots of love and giving you good vibes. x

ARGHGHGH I've had a bit of a frustrating couple of hours. The person who was my best friend who is due the same week as me doesn't seem to feel the need to quash her desire to talk about the impending birth and even asked me to look after her son when she went to a midwife appointment. I've minimised contact but we go to the same swimming group so I see her then. I just think I would be far more sensitive to others feelings if it was the other way round.

On a more positive note I did get a negative pregnancy test this morning so at least I'm back to square one.

And on an even more positive note I had a fantastic appointment with my GP yesterday. He started the appointment by saying how sorry he was about the last few months so he'd obviously read my notes before I went in. He answered all my questions patiently. Created a plan of action for me for the next pregnancy and told me to ring and leave him a message the day I find out I'm pregnant so he can refer me to gynnae and thyroid specialists. He was so positive and confident I came out so relieved and felt looked after.
I went and filled in the feedback questionnaire to say how genuine he seemed and how positive the experience was for me.

It was so different from my experience when I went and asked questions with the consultant who literally said "I don't really know anything about thyroids so your gp will have to answer those questions". Bearing in mind she's my consultant because of my thyroid condition. But my GP was amazing and I'm so thankful for that!

Lots of love and sunshine today. It's freezing here but I love them sun 🌞

lost my pregancy on the 15th feb before I had the miscmiscarriage I had lost all my pregancys symptoms everything had gone my bleeding stopped 2 days prior to the miscarriage and now I'm 12 days down the line and all my symptoms have come back I feel terribly sick sore boobs my skins cleared back up so tired motivation gone etc but surly I cant have even ovulated yet ? Could this be my body dropping back to normal for some reason i did a pregancy test because I found it clearing my room and it came back more positive than it did while I was carrying the pregnancy the epu told me it should be faint by now

I do hope your all well and I'm so sorry to hear about all your losses it's such a tragic thing to have to go through were all stronger than what we know xx

@Amberrosejones94 did the epu give you any other advice or suggest you go in for a scan to see what's happening?

@Mumlili9 i'm glad you're recovering physically. mentally - no doubt it will really take some time to grieve. it's so cruel what we have to go through when so many seem to find it so easy :'( this is one of the hardest things to go through in life and you are not alone, we're all here with you xxx

@VenusStarr i'm so glad you had a positive experience with a private practitioner. it's so important to feel listened to and to understand what your doctor is telling you, also to have some faith that they care/have any idea what is going on!!! ever since i started getting some answers about my fibroids i feel so much better. however i'm aware that there's only so many tests and explanations that can be given me and i'm dreading reaching a stage where I don't know what to do next. Thats interesting that your thyroid levels fluctuate.. i had low levels come up on a blood test after my mc and had a repeat test last week (i waited to make sure i was in a mentally healthy place, was well rested etc etc so i could be confident it was a good reading) still waiting for results. i certainly have immune style problems, dermatographism, food allergies and skin very sensitive to detergents. my mums thyroid almost completely broke down she is solely reliant on thyroxine now and she was very young when it happened. i'm watching your story with care in case it's an avenue that might be relevant to me in future. what is your ubiquinol for? i never heard of it! i just take pregna-plan by cytoplan. they are a company i really trust and although it's expensive i feel better for taking them. mostly. folic acid really doesn't help me with going to the loo (sorry tmi) so i give myself weekends off! I know that vitamin b12 deficiency is a possibility after long term use of folic acid so my multivitamin gives me a tonne of that to counterbalance the block of absorption from the folic. think it has vit d as well although i don't worry about that as i'm a gardener - plenty of exercise and plenty of daylight. i don't know what my bmi is but i'm pretty sure it's healthy. i should prob eat more veg, i've been mainlining spinach since the mc but should prob break out into other veg too! lol about your dream - i know how horrible those dreams can make you feel but i was laughing at the carton of juice - so random! mb you should try it as a romantic gesture see how he responds :D xxx

@avocadoincident its so frustrating having a clueless medical professional isn't it!!! i'm so glad you got a good gp at least. my gp is excellent but you can't book an advance appointment with her, so i had to go with another gp most recently :( sorry about your friend - sometimes it feels like the whole universe is giving you a slap in the face doesn't it. if it helps i think most of us here are feeling that we're getting slapped too.

i have now got a gp app in a month and will ask to be referred to fertility if we haven't conceived by then. that will be 7 months since the miscarriage. i have my gyno app thursday to explain to me about my fibroids. going to write down loads of questions and make sure i get them answered. in fact gonna do that now.

love all xxxx

@avocadoincident they just told me to do a pregancy test at 14 days which its 13 days today but I did a test Saturday which was postive but not very dark I've done another yesterday and it was darker than the other one I did Saturday

X

@Amberrosejones94 I had the same thing happen to me and it turned out to be retained products. I advise you call the epu and arrange a scan and bloods. It's not usually serious they can advise you better though. I just had a round of medical management and it was all sorted. This is the reason they tell you to do this x please don't worry hun

I thought I did well passing the pregancy eith medical management they did tell me everything had come away but my previous miscarriage I had to have d&c as I had three days of medication and it didnt work but this time I thought I'd had it easier they told me on my last blood test I had done that my hcg was really low at that point , it's just the symptoms that has come back that is sending me mentally drained as all the symptoms had gone two before the miscarriage even happened

Hi Ladies, hope u don’t mind me joining in😊 I’ve been all over the internet looking for a group like this for awhile and it just seems like the right place -new to this😊 So unbelievably sorry for all of your losses, it’s cruel and unfair that we don’t have our babies here to hold but I feel they are busy handpicking our rainbows to mind and protect us through this journey❤️ I lost my little boy at 20 weeks in November. A routine scan showed his heart had stopped beating and I delivered him on 25.11.19. We later found out from results that he was absolutely perfect but I had a significant bleed behind my placenta- I had no pain or bleeding. Trying to put the pieces of my heart back together I have found strength in TTC again, feel like my mind is working towards something. Anyway, that’s my story in a nutshell. My 3rd Af since has arrived this morning, this will be my 3rd cycle TTC, second proper cycle as only started to use OPKs and ovia last month. I have about a week of spotting before each AF and worried this might be an issue? I had 5 scans since my delivery and all have come back to say I’m clear. Have any of you experienced this? Sending you all lots of light and love💫

@Ripple2020 hello, welcome and so sorry for the loss of your little boy. This group of ladies are wonderful, very supportive and have been my rock since March 18. This group is to give and gain support, advice or just general chit chat if that helps. Miscarriage / baby loss in any form from chemicals to born sleeping is horrific and its the most confusing lonely time, but together we are stronger and can weather the storm to find our rainbows.

So sorry to hear about your ectopic @Mumlili9 and lots of sympathy to everyone who’s having a tough time right now.

I just got genetics results from the miscarriage I had over Christmas and it was trisomy 21, i.e. Down Syndrome. I guess that means the immune treatment I was doing for NK cells would never have made any difference. Now we have to wait for the results of karyotyping to find out whether it was a random abnormality or inherited from me or my husband. After five miscarriages I’m pretty scared that it could be an inherited problem rather than a random event. What are the chances of random chromosome abnormalities in five consecutive pregnancies? Or maybe the other miscarriages were due to overactive NK cells and just this one was a random chromosome abnormality? Ugh, I don’t know what to think! Has this happened to anyone else?

Hi all. Just here for some advice please. We lost our baby too. At what i thought was 13wk scan turned out our babys heartbeat had stoped at 9+3days. After a scan at 6 wks and 8wks was fine. Feel devistated. Weve been trying for 3years for our baby together. I have 2 daughters from previous.. Just wonderd how you lot got over the whole ashamed to try again. And being scared of trying again?? Xx