@MissSparkles81 we've all been there... I am visiting a friend this weekend who fell pregnant shortly after my MC. To make it worse she had been having fertility problems too so we were kind of in the same boat but now I am alone... She sent me her 12 week scan of her perfect baby and I just broke down literally fell on the floor when I received it thinking of the one terrible picture I got of my little embryo in my wholly insufficient womb :( I'm not a jealous person either but its entirely natural to feel that way at a time like this xx
@VenusStarr I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. Gutted that you ovulated... but as your partner says - maybe this time will be the one?? Otherwise I'm crossing my fingers for you that your timing is off next month so that you don't have to wait. It must be really hard not to TTC but it is for a good reason you're doing it - you've been through so much xxx take care xxxx
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue what a lovely message to @Mumlili9 - I'm very aware I'm only offering platitudes now. I don't know what it's like to have ectopic but I had suspected ectopic for 2 days and it was awful. Please do come and update us when you feel ready, we're all here for you and so sorry for what you're going through. Lots of love xxxx
@BunnytheBee it sounds like you're in a slightly different boat to me. You've fell 3 times in 2 years including your DD... to me this means falling pregnant is not an issue which is really a positive thing - not that I'm trying to minimise your pain at all because you've been through an awful lot :( I have a friend who has been on a similar journey as you. Sadly her 1st passed at 10 weeks old from SID. She fell pregnant shortly after but miscarried, then I think about 5/6 months after that she fell with her DD who is now 2 and healthy and happy. I can't fathom what she's been through, but in he insight it all just seems like such incredible bad luck - her fertility and her ability to carry to term were not an issue but at the time she must have just been so desperate and so anxious... I think freezing your eggs sounds like an idea worth pondering - at the very least would it take a weight off your mind? You're right its not as good chances as embryos but if OH isn't on board there's not much you can do about that. Although I seem to take a long time to fall pg (16 months the first time and I'm on month 6 now) I'm trying to be positive about my chances, but have put a time limit in my head (if nothing happens this year) so that I will know I have a back up plan and can then move for surrogacy in the future safe in the knowledge I have embryos frozen. Having this plan is helping alleviate some of the pressure and I'm hoping that it all might just happen naturally in the mean time. GOD I hope so, it's such a desperate need - for all of us!
My counsellor has recommended positive visualisation and I'm going to try some of that this evening. I'm going to repeat to myself what the ultrasound tech said - "my ovaries are perfect, my endometrium is smooth and good", and remind myself that my body did a good job miscarrying, that I have been pregnant once, and I will be pregnant again, that I will get my baby, either naturally or through surrogacy - visualising these things as I go along. She pointed out that our negative thoughts and worries are like weeds, popping up all the time without invitation, and we need to nurture our positive thoughts like ornamental plants - as a gardener this really spoke to me! For me I've been thinking of myself as broken, failed, and my womb as a rocky place, and I didn't realise how much my thoughts are within my control to change and hopefully make me feel better. I'll let you know if it works, I think it's going to take some effort for me... xxxx
Sending lots of love to all of you on here tonight, it's tough for us all and I just wanted to say you're all doing really well! xxxx