TTC After Pregnancy Loss Thread 22.

[HidCat]

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

A thread for all those who have suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately know as the penguin huddle.

We'll start with a roll call as there have been so many new members lately and so many success stories that I think we've all lost track.

HidCat
Age 35
TTC #2
DS 5
MC at 11wks in January
Cycle 3 post MC, trying since August 2017

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

@Lilimum4 where did you get progesterone cream from? Are you in the UK?

@TinyPaws hi hun yes in the UK. I got mine from eBay cost £35. So I'm hoping it really works

Pancakes7 I'm glad the UTI is improving. It's so hard not being pregnant anymore. I found it really difficult to see pregnant women for a month or so. It's 3 months to the day now since my ERPC and I can honestly say time has been a healer. It's still hard seeing pregnant women, but it doesn't make me want to sob any more. I try to silently send good wishes to the woman and baby for a healthy pregnancy when I notice a bump and repeat to myself something nice like "it'll happen for me too when the time is right". It seems to help.

Newbie21 I think you've pretty much summed up how we all feel on this thread about TTC again after pregnancy loss. Hugs. At least we have each other for comfort. All we can do is hope and pray and not give up. If you don't feel ready yet emotionally you don't have to start trying again just because you can start trying again as well. If the negative thoughts are outweighing the desire to try again then listen to yourself and take your time. Having said that, if you are ready to try again, wishing you the best of luck and I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you that you get a sticky bean soon and have a healthy pregnancy.

Thanks zarala. Miracles do happen I guess, but I'm prepared for AF's visit in case there aren't miracles this time round. I've just sat down and made myself a colourful chart of my cycles since starting TTC with when I think I ovulated and when we DTD each month so I can hopefully predict when to jump on OH next cycle. (I'm technologically challenged, I like paper and pen, non of these easy-to-use apps for me!! haha)
Hope you have a nice relaxed cycle without the anxieties of TTC. It's been a lovely break for me this cycle.

weasledee don't worry about getting your hopes up... it's hope that keeps us all going! But if AF does arrive this time, see that mega positive OPK as a sign that you're still wonderfully fertile and trust that it will happen soon even if it doesn't this cycle. Really hope it IS this cycle for you though! Blowing baby dust your way!

I've not heard of the cranberry juice thing @Boboelephant thankyou-will give it a try!

@zarala It feels that way! Was very very heavy yesterday -I thought this morning it might've been laying off as I had very little but at lunchtime it started up again. It's really odd-hardly anything on the pad but gushes every time I go to the loo!!! Hoping as this is technically AF 2 post MMC that it's just doing a spring clean. Really really hoping we catch next cycle as I'd be getting my BFP around my birthday!

@weasledee My opks were really strong on holiday but I guess my body just wasn't ready yet, I have everything crossed for you.

@Lilimum4 it's crazy just how consuming this becomes isn't it! I was so blasé "well if it happens, it happens" attitude -now I've lost my first bean all I can think about is being pregnant again. It feels wrong not to be.

@Newbie21 I'm so with you. I had an MMC too and it was my first pregnancy. I'm petrified I won't catch again, or that if we are lucky it'll happen again - I desperately need to be pregnant again, but I'm so scared of losing too, and ultimately I'm petrified of never actually holding my baby in my arms, never being a mom.

@Pancakes7 it's amazing how it seems every pregnant woman seems to appear after you've had a MMC isn't it. So hard.

Quick q re: tracking apps...this AF appears to have started Saturday (I had a gush of red blood) but then just spotting the rest of sat and sun, before more consistent heavy flow Monday-so what do I class as CD1? Sat or mon? Ta X

Sorry not to reply to everyone-moving so fast! Baby dust and hugs to all xxx

Great advice to all Knitkitty - I think I will get back on the bike... last cycle I felt deflated when AF turned up even though there was barely any chance of me being pregnant since I hadn't planned to TTC and OH and I were not very active at all. It's just a hard journey but one I want or need to travel - I'm just hoping it's a fairly direct route from now on but we will see.... we will all get there in the end.

@Laney79 it really is I tried not to let it get to me but I lost the fight. What is this cranberry juice thing

@DaisyMay25 yep! I put a quarter apple and then half grapefruit and then another quarter apple. Trying to cover the grapefruit from all sides!
@weasledee and @Lilimum4 I hope they are good signs for you.
@TinyPaws I use the progesterone cream too. I bought it direct from the wellsprings site which is £25 but took about a week to arrive. You don't start using it till after ovulation so I bought it as soon as af arrived.
@KnitKitty lovely words as always. I am inspired by your positivity.
@Laney79 yep I hadn't heard it before either but she said it was brilliant. With your af, I'd probably count Monday as day 1 as it was the first day of heavy flow.
@Lilimum4 a nurse recommended to me that women should drink cranberry juice during their periods to help counteract blood loss.

To everyone struggling and hoping I'm sending you all hugs and baby dust. I hope it happens for us all soon. Please remember though that if it doesn't happen straight away you will find strength and carry on. Trust me, I know the heartbreak of both multiple losses and multiple months of those sticks showing one line. But we pick ourselves up and carry on so we can try again and ultimately hold our babies. We're all here for each other.

BFN for me this eve. 12dpo, not feeling confident.

@TedLife sorry to hear that hun hugs x

@Boboelephant speaking of baby baking.... I announced at work the other day!!! I may not say too much on here but I do keep an eye out every day for new bfps or news. I just know your month is coming. And they'll be a cake ready for when that day comes.

@zarala I know it does seem to have gone quite fast. But then I keep thinking... not even half way there!!

Teddy announced on his Instagram the other day too. But I'm yet to announce on my personal social media!! 🙈

@cakelaur such a creative way to announce I love it.
I recognised your name from the Dec babies group, so pleased to hear your pregnancy is going well. :)

@tedlife sorry it's not +ve for you this evening but I have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow morning xxx

Sorry to hear that @tedlife. Stay strong. It will come x

Sorry ted bfn are so depressing....

Cake nice to hear from the "marathon girl!" the puppy is getting big!
So are you going to find out what you're having??? So excited for you

Sorry @TedLife bfns are the worst. Hopefully it was just because it was evening!
@Cakelaur thanks hun! I'm aiming for that cake!!! Love your work announcement and Teddy is so adorable! I've got the quadruple going this month- grapefruit juice and cough syrup pre ovulation and progesterone cream and pineapple post. Let's hope this is the magic formula!

@TedLife fx it turns positive for you. There's still time!

@Cakelaur I love that announcement! Are you going to announce on yours soon or do you think everyone will pick it up from Teddy / the shop pages?

Morning ladies! I can't keep up with everyone but I hope at least this lovely sunshine is brightening up your days.

@CobaltRose congratulations on your BFP what a clear set of lines!

@TedLife sorry for the BFN, hoping AF stays away and you'll get your BFP.

@Cakelaur lovely to hear from you and amazing way to announce! I would so love to join you in cooking that kind of cake in the oven. I'm really hoping this month is our month

@boboelephant glad to see you're feeling back to your normal chirpy self :) hopefully the quadruple formula will be just the trick for you.

Well I'm 7DPO and I've even tried pineapple core this month despite being very sceptical about these things. I work in healthcare and come from an evidence based background and all these dietary things, lotions and potions make my scientific side cringe, but I'm getting to the point where I'm so desperate now I'll try most things. Its been an interesting experience for me and I think I'll empathize a lot better in future with people who try out these wacky things to help with their health problems! Anyway trying desperately hard not to symptom spot, but I had a weird afternoon yesterday feeling dizzy and nauseous so that's set my mind racing even though it's way too early to mean anything. I'm really hoping this is our month, it's our 3rd cycle since our last MC, and with each pregnancy we have conceived on the 3rd cycle each time, so to have a successful pregnancy 3rd time round on the 3rd cycle would be quite poetic!

Regarding the pineapple core, when are we meant to stop eating it? @cakelaur what did you do in your magic formula?

Morning ladies so ff app finally says I ovulated on cd11 just as I thought but it also confirms that my cycles have defo changed from 32 days pre mc and now 25 days post mc. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing but its tiring me out. AF for 4 days, one day nothing then fw starts cd6 then tww and AF again. Sorry to moan but I don't seem to have time to just relax its all go.

Also 3dpo and chart dropped this morning that can't be good surely its surposed to rise until AF.

@strawberrye haha i hear you. I also work in healthcare and am generally a very practical person but this journey has certainly changed me! I'll give anything a try now! I do believe the power of the mind is extraordinary though so positive thinking and all that- even if it's just placebo effect! I hope your symptoms are a sign of good things to come! Pineapple core is just from 1dpo-5dpo so you can stop now.
@Lilimum4 it's hard isn't it. I am the opposite and get stressed that I just feel like I am waiting between af and fw. How often are you jks in fw? Maybe drop to every other day? I'm finding that a bit less pressure this month. As for the drop in temp I've been told that on 2 or 3dpo you can have a fallback rise. Here's the info-
'Before O, estrogen levels peak and then drop, causing LH level to peak and then drop, causing ovulation.The theory of fallback rise is that the estrogen level is still dropping after the LH level has dropped, and the progesterone levels have not risen high enough to push the temperatre up. Estrogen causes low temps, progesterone high temps'
It should go back up again tomorrow.

@Boboelephant thanks hun. You always make me stop panicking your a star. I just hope it goes back up.
I'm doing pineapple and progesterone cream too so really hopeful this month. How are you getting along lovely

@dreaminofholidays sorry you find yourself here babe. I am in the December group. Hope you're doing well.

@TedLife maybe this morning?? FMU is more concentrated. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@weasledee yeah pup is massive now. He's nearly 5 months now. The absolute love of my life. We're gonna stay team yellow. I'd quite like to find out. The loss of our first baby has made me not love surprises, but hubby wants to catch baby and tell me what it is. It's the only thing he's desperate for, so I've gotta give it to him. Plus I don't actually care what we have. I just want baby to get here safe and sound. 🌈

@Boboelephant sounds good. Are you going do marathon again?? And through in some preseed. I think that massively helped me. Sounds like a great formula! 🤞🏻

@HidCat i think just teddy and this shop is enough. Everyone we actually speak to and like, knows. And we told all our family ages ago. So those on our social media who don't know can live with that!! Haha.

@strawberrye pineapple core is 1dpo-5dpo which is supposed to get your womb ready for implantation. It acts a little like a blood thinner so it's supposed to make a nice environment in there. Got my fingers crossed for you to babe. They're crossed for everyone. I'm like a twisted ball of string I've got everything crossed for everyone here. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@Lilimum4 congrats on O. I have a 26day cycle. I quite liked it being shorter. I still had a 12day LP. Which is the important part. But it meant if not pregnant, we wouldn't have to wait long to start again. There are supplements you can take to lengthen your cycle if you don't love it being shorter. Hopefully this is your month and you won't need to think about it! 😉🤞🏻

@Limum4 thanks hun I'm ok. Trying to be a bit more chilled this month! My parents are coming to visit and arrive a day after af due so would so love to meet them at the airport with baby news! Trying to do my yoga for relaxing and exercise for summer toning every day!
@Cakelaur we decided to try SMEP this month rather than marathon. Hopefully a mix up is what we need. I have everything crossed too!! Whilst also trying to stay relaxed! 😯 I did use the fertility check gel last month and have some left so will give it a go. Wasn't a huge fan as found it very watery and a bit of a passion killer but will crack it out again no doubt.

@Lilimum4 I had a fallback too. I felt like I ovulated CD16 but because of the drop FF won't recognise it until CD18. So I'm putting myself in the middle lol.

@HidCat so this fall back thing is quite common / normal then

@Boboelephant I used to only use about 1/3 of a tube. Otherwise it would run down my leg by the time I got back into bed!! Haha. I'd sneaky deaky put it in (didn't tell OH) then pounce. Then I wiped it down and wrapped it in clingfilm to use the next time.

Think it's safe to assume I'm pregnant now