TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Hey everyone, still holding out on testing ..... at least no random spotting for me this month, last month spotted for a week before period, so feel like my body is getting back to normal.

Anne was af due yesterday, remember you were a few days ahead of me. Did she show or are you trying not to test?

Hi there all
I completely fell off the thread. Sorry about your cat Anne - that just sucks, you poor thing.
Congratulations on positive scans keepon and mog.
Sorry you are still struggling unicorns. You will get there, your body is just being a stubborn sob at the moment. It took me 11 weeks to get my period back after dd was stillborn, I think all the emotional and physical turmoil just takes its toll. But it seems like you are finally on track for getting back to your regular cycle.
I finally got somewhere with hounding the hospital for my appointments, apparently they have sent the requests to the different departments now, so that's good. I was getting very irrational about it all, as whilst we aren't ttc at the moment it is also very difficult to have that be dictated by somebody else other then us! If that makes sense. Anyway hopefully February will see us make some progress with our follow ups.
4 months ago today my beautiful baby was born. This life stuff is really hard.

@FoxtrotSkarloey I've only really got the hang on it. Turns out I was using them at the wrong time last time

Well these are my opks. Top is two days ago, bottom are yesterdays so I'm not sure what's going on

It really is miami. You’re handling it with such grace and if you weren’t getting a bit irrational from time to time I’d be worried about you! Very glad they’re getting on with it now, hope next month brings you clarity and a step closer to ttc again.

Well done on holding our haff! What are your thoughts? I didn’t bother again with the events of the end of the week and af landed yesterday. We were away last night, amazing timing. I spent several hours on the floor on what should have been a romantic night away groaning, pacing and doing yoga as it was so incredibly fucking painful, despite the good pills and some paracetamol on top. Not bloody amused.

Today has been off and on pain wise, had a long walk which helped but it’s horrible stuff, really black and chunky, got redder which seems better but when it’s bad I’ve been doubled over wanting to vomit. Bad times.

Might get back on temping. I’ll do a couple of days and see if I can be bothered.

Things seem to be looking up unicorns? I don’t know anything about opk but do things feel more normal?

Oh Anne that sounds awful, have you been back to the doctors, Black and clotty sounds really horrid and to be in that much pain.
Glad Miami that things are starting to move forward all be it slowly.
Well I'm cd 25 today, and no af or stupid spotting. last 2 cycles have been 25 days so at least even if af shows in the next few days my cycles seem more normal in length. No preg symptoms really, can't be chewed with sex and want to eat a lot of crisps and chocolate but think that's just normal for cd25! (And most other points for the chocolate!) my kind of plan is test on sat if no af but expecting it to arrive before then.

I'm super impressed at your self control Haff!

Good no spotting so far? How long were your cycles before? I find mine change vary within 4 or 5 days.

Crossing everything for you, even if you think it'll show. I'm traveling hopefully for all of us!

Af has now gone, slept really well, feeling pretty happy and perky today. Back on the temping but not going to think about it too much.

I know what you mean, sounds really gross, but won't go to the doctor about it as I've had so many changes in af over the last year.

And it is now exactly a year since my last BFP. Where the fucking fuck has the time gone.

It started out black and clotty, I guess like old blood? Then by Monday morning it was thin and watery and a bright red/cranberry colour, which was very heavy but seemed a lot healthier looking, then got much lighter and finished last night. My acupuncture lady is obsessed with my af colours and texture - and to be fair to her, it's made a huge difference to my periods since I started - so I'll fill her in on the gory details on Saturday.

Thanks Anne! I kind of figure knicker watching for af is better than for miscarriage so not gonna test til sat. That said I feel really crampy so cant imagine she won't show. Not today though so if tomorrow 27 day cycle. I used to be 28 days exactly at about ten past ten I was that regular, but that was along time ago. For the last 15 years I've either been on the pill, pregnant or miscarrying, never taken more than one period to get pregnant. So if af shows this will be three periods consecutively so don't really know if it will return o 28 days.

Really glad your horrid af is over, sounds rubbish- stride onwards to fertile week!

I'm not sure why I'm feeling so on edge recently. I test in about a weeks time (not excepting anything at all from it), I'm oddly emotional, anxious and to top it off work has been so shit since I came back from my time off for our due date.

You know when you just ask yourself why you even bother?

It sucks Unicorns, sucks worse to have to ttc after mc than most things.

Do you mean why bother to ttc or to test?

Some people love poas and I sort of envy them. I wonder if it means they're optimistic and excited!

What killed it for me completely was orders from my RMC consultant to test asap every cycle as I need to get on the drugs as soon as I know. For several months I spent a god damn fortune and drove myself nearly insane doing it, the endless shiny white BFN, till eventually I just had to stop and it got me into temping so I'd have an idea of exactly when I ovulated and would have more way of knowing when to test.

If I can help it, I still don't bother to test very often.

Sorry work's been shit. Have you got anything to look forward to at the moment?

I find that so important in keeping sane.

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm not sure really. Just with everything. I think I've run out of steam and everything just seems to be draining.

I was thinking of maybe temping but whether I'd remember to do it every morning I'm not sure. Also it might make me appear even more crazy sticking a thermometer up my hoohaa 😂

I don't at the moment. I'm just trying to get to the end of Friday atm

@Haffertee4 fingers crossed still no AF!
@UnicornsandRainbows1 hope you are ok...
@AnneLovesGilbert ive been told too by RMC to test early 😏

Just got peak today on ovulation so dtd marathon begins - so exhausting 🙄

Sorry it's so sucky unicorns, hang in there. On a side note never done temping but assumed it was an oral thermometer, even less likely to ever want to do that now!

Still no af! Still a bit crampy but better than yesterday realised yesterday that I'd been taking the pregnancy vitamins every day instead of alternating with the folic acid vit d ones which I think had made me constipated so the crampy bloated feeling was n t being helped by that. Don't feel pregnant at all ( normally I do by now if am) so expecting af to show tomorrow.

Hello ladies, I have some lovely news.. hope you don’t mind me sharing.
To recap I used to post on as wibblewobble100 but got locked out so here I am with a new name. I Have one DC 3.5 years, trying for no 2 since Feb 2016. MC at 5-6 weeks in Aug 16, MMC 11+5 Dec16, MC at 5-6 weeks March 17.... then nothing until a lovely bfp at the end of November, and a healthy 13 week scan this week. It seemed to take ages to get that last bfp, but I suppose 4 conceptions in 21 months is actually good going. It was also 3-4 months after the end of a very unsettled 18 months from me a DH with us both starting big new roles at work and selling two properties, buying one, moving twice, so stress probably contributed. The one easy thing we did differently the month we actually conceived was use preceed lubricant. No idea if it helped but it’s an easy thing to do.
After my 3 MC I went to a RMC and all was normal, so I was told no need for aspirin, progesterone, or steroids or similar. This made me a bit apprehensive as there are such mixed views out there, but it perhaps did ease anxiety a bit. I had a scan a 7 weeks with a heart beat, but was refused a further scan despite having seen a HB on privatescan in my MMC. This pissed me off but I tried to stay positive, did lots of mindfulness apps and stayed off threads about miscarriage as it was just too upsetting. I also paid for another private scan at 9 weeks which helped.
I know I’m not out of the woods yet and I’ll probably keep of the MC and pregnancy boards but I hope that sharing might reassure someone, esp if you’ve been told no meds...... baby dust to all x

@di626 trying to hang in there my lovely. Thanks for asking :)

Oh I forgot to mention this earlier. I finally managed to get hold of baby aspirin (on my own so no referral for it but I'm so desperate now I don't want to be told no). Is it taken when I get a bfp? I have no idea!!

Hi everyone, I’m just introducing myself, not quite ready to hop on yet!

Currently in the middle of third miscarriage. Possibly 4th (was a week late in August but couldn’t bring myself to test- and I’m never late). First 2 were before 6 weeks and spontaneous. This one is MMC- am 9+6 today, but learned last week at 8+5 that it’s an anembryonic pregnancy. EPU consultant thinks I have adhesions (following c-section/infection have DD 3.5years ago) which are interfering with implantation so am hoping to avoid ERPC. Booked in for medical management next week. I’m desperate to TTC again but will probably take a break until some basic investigations are done.

Was quite philosophical about first 2 losses but I’m absolutely devastated this time around. Possibly all just hitting me now.

Saw you on your other thread @Paranormalbouquet so sorry for all of your losses and what you’re going through now

MMC is so incredibly cruel. The betrayal, the waiting, the awful limbo, the crapness of those what to do decisions.

Hope you find some comfort here. Rant away x

Thank you so much for posting @Barnaclesbrother

I'm so happy to hear your wonderful news. What a year you've both had! 13 weeks in is fantastic news, hope you're feeling well. And we've had a freakishly similar journey so your story really means a lot to me. So sorry for your losses and best of luck with your pregnancy, try to enjoy it, and wishing you an uneventful time of it.

Think I might have to go back to the epac. Either it's still in my system and it's some weird joke or we've got weirdly lucky though I'm due on on the 8th so idk!!

Welcome para, sorry you are here too but this is a good place to share, complain and be a little crazy if you need too. I totally sympathise, I was ok at 1 mc too and even after two could kind of convince myself that next time would be ok, but found the 3rd really hard.
Thank you for sharing success, barnacle. Also very similar to me with one missed at 12 week scan and 2 early's so gives me hope that maybe next time will be ok.

Unicorns, I have no idea! Very strange, let us know what they say if yp go back! Sorry this is continuing.

Still no af today, my plan to test sat now seems scary as that's tomorrow. Think I must be the only person on Mumsnet who actually doesn't want to poas!

Ah im having a meltdown ladies, my best friend after texting me to say she is preg after another previously telling me during week that she was too - i cant stop crying, f**king hate the whole thing

Thanks everyone. I thought I had prepared myself for another failing pregnancy but it turns out I wasn’t at all prepared!

@di626 I know so many pregnant people at the moment and I feel terrible for being so very jealous.

Oh @di626 I’m so sorry. Have a cathartic ball and do something that makes for feel as good as you can. A big glass of wine in a bubble bath? Cliche for sure but something I find myself doing on occasion.

Did she tell you in a nice way? Better by message than face to face I think.

So sorry you’re surrounded by it. Look after yourself x

So sorry guys, it's so hard when it seems to simple for everyone else!

So I wimped out of testing yesterday but did this morning. Definitely not a squinter!
I am obviously happy to be pregnant again... however makes me remember how lovely it is to see the line and think" oooh I'm going to have a baby" instead of " we'll maybe I'm going to have a baby and maybe not" not sure anyone else will understand that feeling but you guys!