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TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

999 replies

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 21/01/2018 09:17

Shiny new thread! :)

OP posts:
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AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2018 14:45

I think a rage is fair enough miami, what can you do to put a rocket up them? Has anyone given any reason the results would be different in 3 months? Time is ticking by and it's incredibly frustrating things are going so slowly with your appointments! what does your GP say? Do you feel they're advocating for you with the hospital and the "experts" or are they as useless?

Have you completely ruled out trying again until you've got the all clear on all your tests? Completely understand if so but I'm not sure if that's how you guys feel or under medical advice.

Still no temp rise for me today, it's the lowest for the longest period of time ever, can't make it out. Ov symptoms have faded, cervix is still really high but cm is creamier. Only time will tell. I'm not feeling stressed about it at all.

Really glad all's progressing well haff!

Miami81 · 08/02/2018 19:25

Thanks for listening to me ladies. Rheumatology tests are repeated after 12 weeks as sometimes you get a spike and it is just due to having a cold or whatever. So anyway they took bloods from me in September and that's where they found one test that looked a bit high. So suggested that they refer me to rheumatology, in December. I have spent most of January chasing the referral and yesterday went to my gp and she has just gotten a letter asking her to do a blood test she has never heard of in 12 weeks time (like from yesterday). So I went bananas, like apeshit. I have already written a letter about how disorganised our care has been but this really took the biscuit for me. If the consultant needed a blood test doing then she could have taken blood from me in December when I was in the hospital. To suggest that we should wait 12 weeks from when she has randomly sent a letter to our gp is mad.
Anyway so today I rang our medical insurance and asked if they can do the tests and they can so we are all booked in for the 28th February.
Also confirmed with medical insurance that they won't cover scans to investigate whether my uterus is bircornuate or septate, so confirmed with the private hospital what that will cost if the wait is too long with the nhs.
Anne we aren't wanting to take the chance to try again and potentially end up in the same situation again. I want to be pregnant again so badly, but I would say that it will be April/May probably before we are officially ttc again.
Gives me a chance to shift some pounds as well, which can only help.

Haffertee4 · 10/02/2018 11:33

Oh Miami that's infuriating, they don't really understand do they that to them 12 weeks sounds like nothing but t to us it feels like an age.
I could do with some hand holding today guys. Have been stuck in bed for two days with this awful cold and temperature which really floored me. The cold is a bit better today but I'm feeling really anxious. Loads of white/ yellows cm which the coughing isn't helping and convinced myself it looked slightly pink earlier.It prob didn't at all, when you are moving toilet paper around to see in a certain light it's not blood right?
Arghh... was doing ok with not being crazy til today.

keepinghopeful · 10/02/2018 13:58

@Miami81 argghhh they would drive you bonkers!!! Unfortunately to them we are just another number on a waiting list whereas for us it is our world.

@Haffertee4 aw totally understandable you are feeling down, with hormones & then the sodding flu/cold. Im sure the discharge nothing to be worried about.

beanhunter · 11/02/2018 15:35

So think af on the way here. Only cd24 so that’s yet another really short cycle post mmc. Thinking should we go back for another ivf?

HopefulSmile14 · 11/02/2018 22:42

I just want to add some baby dust to your ladies I had 3 miscarriages and then got caught pregnant a 4th time she came she's now 2 years old and a little monster I called her Hope because I never gave up Hope to have a baby xx

keepinghopeful · 12/02/2018 19:08

Thanks @HopefulSmile14 so nice to hear of someone who has success at end of it all. Did you have any tests done? Do anything different when pregnant with your daughter? Very nice of you to post 😊

keepinghopeful · 12/02/2018 19:15

@beanhunter hopefully it hasnt turned up today. Think mine on way too - 10dpo & just had brown on wiping 😕

keepinghopeful · 12/02/2018 19:16

@Haffertee4 how are you today hun?

beanhunter · 12/02/2018 19:28

@keepinghopeful
Not properly but spotting every time I wipe so its fed on the way. This is always how it starts. So I’ve decided to be proactive and have contacted the fertility clinic again as think we should go back for another ivf cycle. Would plan to do another 2 maximum but realistically that would take most f the rest of the year and in my head if we aren’t pregnant by December I’ve reached my limit (that will be 4 years ttc this time and 2 years ttc previously for our daughter and frankly I’m done).

Haffertee4 · 12/02/2018 21:39

Thanks for asking guys, less anxious today. Still no bleeding so ok as far as I know. Nausea has kicked in full force, so that is horrid and also slightly reassuring.

Haffertee4 · 12/02/2018 21:40

Thanks for asking guys, less anxious today. Still no bleeding so ok as far as I know. Nausea has kicked in full force, so that is horrid and also slightly reassuring.

ER1212 · 13/02/2018 10:11

Hi guys, just wondering how long it will take for my cycles to get back to normal after mc? I had mc in November, period in december followed by a long 37 day cycle leading to period in Jan, we had tried to ttc but probably too early. Been trying to dtd every 2-3 days since cd10 this time, best to just keep going till AF arrives, since cycles seem unclear.
Slight sore boobs and tiredness so hopefully ov'd last week and things are happening!

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 13/02/2018 20:43

Just popping in to see how all you lovelies are doing this week? Smile Smile

OP posts:
HopefulSmile14 · 14/02/2018 16:58

@keepinghopeful hiya sweet so sorry for late reply didn't log in to emails... I had all tests done everything came back normal but doctor suggested going on to cyclogest till 12weeks and also 5mg folic acid plus aspirin struggling to have baby number 2 though been trying since daughter was 7months xx

Haffertee4 · 14/02/2018 17:18

Hey all, the nausea is awful, either it hasn't been this bad before or I've blocked it from my memory. Even feel sick when I'm asleep! It's prob a good thing though I suppose. Think I've got to 6 weeks bit confused about whether to count from when period due or lmp with such short cycles.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/02/2018 14:31

Not much to report here. 6DPO. Quite sharp stabbing in my left ovary area this morning, exactly like ovulating pain. But I get all sorts of feelings throughout my cycle and I'm never going to read anything into any of them again having had the same things pre BFPs and AF.

That sounds grim Haff, you poor thing Sad

keeponrunning85 · 15/02/2018 18:10

Hello ladies.

I just wanted to pop in an let you know I've made it through the first trimester and had a succesful dating scan today.

Miami, I am so sorry to hear you are still having major frustrations with your follow up. I don't understand why your GP couldn't look up the blood tests amd arrange them for you. I hope there's been some progress with getting things done privately.

I shall go back to lurking now. Keeping my fingers firmly crossed for you all.

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/02/2018 19:29

Really happy for you and glad to hear that keepon, thank you for stopping in.

Feeling a bit meh about everything my end tbh. Not exactly what’s the point but I have no idea if I’ll ever get pregnant again and I’m just not there in my head at the moment.

I’m bridesmaiding in the summer, sent DM a pic of a possible dress and she said it was nice but wouldn’t work if I was pregnant. I saw red. Waited a bit then calmly replied if I am pregnant before then I’ll buy another dress. She brought it up again and I said slightly less calmly that I can’t live my life constantly hoping it’ll happen as I have to stay sane in the meantime and if it does I’ll deal with it at the time.

She hasn’t mentioned it again. I know she means well and is desperate for us to have a baby but I can’t be perky for her when I’m not perky for me right now.

beanhunter · 15/02/2018 22:12

@anne so sorry you’ve had to deal with such bridezilla unreasonableness.
@keep great news. All the best for an uneventful next two trimesters.
Afm it was my period. 4th in a row that is literally so heavy I’m constantly worried about leaking everywhere. Oddly not painful at all. Taking meds to try to make less heavy but only option to stop this is contraception which is clearly not ok. This has all happened since my mc. Due date next week too just to add insult.
Contacted fertility clinic again to line up more ivf. In so many ways I’m not ready but I also really need to leave this feeling we’ve tried everything.

Miami81 · 16/02/2018 08:36

@keeponrunning85 that's wonderful news. I am keeping everything crossed for a totally smooth time for the rest of it for you.
@AnneLovesGilbert meh - that all sucks. It is totally normal to feel like that about things. We are here for you.
@beanhunter totally understand the need to know that you have done everything you can.
On that note I have had an eventful week. In between ranting at the nhs about still waiting for my appts, I emailed (yes the consultants email address was on the private hospital website) the gynae consultant at the private hospital to ask him if he was the correct person to see. He emailed back (yes like an actual human being) and has reviewed my existing scans and feels that it is worth investigating if it has a septum. He is happy for me to get referred directly to him on the nhs. I know it seems like a small thing but given the wall I have been hitting trying to get someone to talk to me this feels huge.
Anne I do hope you have a brighter day today. I know you aren't in the same situation as me at all, but do you think it's time to be seen by someone again? If you have been trying for a year I am sure you are entitled to a fertility check up at the very least?

keepinghopeful · 16/02/2018 10:00

Hi everyone, glad for those of you who are preg are having a generally stress free time except for the sickness!!
@AnneLovesGilbert its crap when you are feeling down, some days im fine then others hits like a ton of bricks!
@Miami81 def feels better when people are being proactive about the situation & willing to try to help!

AF here for me, not surprising as ive found out i have very weak/no ovulation from left hand side. Suspected this as any time ive got preg but lost it has always been when ovulating from right hand side, bit sh*t as halves chances already. Must mention it when at fertility clinic again at end of month & maybe they would give me something to stimuate that side, though this of course doesnt explain my losses. Still waiting on results of karotyping bloods. All my hormonal bloods came back normal

keepinghopeful · 17/02/2018 17:21

Just wondering ladies did you or other halves get karotyping bloods done on yous? Mind has come back that they wont be analysed under new guidelines & just any further 'products of conception' will be tested. FFS id rather know if anythin wrong thanto go through it all again!! Aaarrgghhh having a partucularly bad day as baby bombed by 3rd friend in 3.5weeks 😪

Paranormalbouquet · 17/02/2018 18:20

Hi everyone, just popping in to say hi! I had MMC diagnosed 3.5 weeks ago (at 9 weeks) failed medical management and ended up with horrible infection so had ERPC yesterday (had been trying to avoid as worried about intrauterine adhesions, the EPU think I likely have them as a result of previous EMCS which was complicated by a uterine and cervical tear). This is miscarriage 3 in a row- 2 earlier losses at 5-6.5 weeks.

Haven’t got an appt for the recurrent miscarriage clinic yet, wondering whether to wait for them or just get back on the horse ASAP- what do you all think? I’m desperate for another baby and my daughter is almost 4 now so conscious of growing gap.

I’ve also been asked to be a bridesmaid (September). 2 weeks after my due date would have been, and one of the other bridesmaids will have a newborn on the day. I don’t think I’ll cope very well but trying my best to be an enthusiastic bridesmaid.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/02/2018 14:12

Oh paranormal, so sorry for all you've been through. How are you feeling now after the ERPC? Have you had a BFN yet?

I hope your appointment comes through soon. We were very lucky and we were in there 7 weeks after the letter came through, which was only a few days after my surgery. We asked about ttc and decided to crack on once I've had a BFN and was feeling comfortable again. Some people have to wait a lot longer for appointments - the regional variations are baffling - and some choose to wait to ttc till after test results so you have a clearer picture of what's going on.

Do you know if they took any tissue to test during the procedure? If so, that takes 6-8 weeks to come back I think.

I got pregnant again straight away and had my BFP the day of our second appointment which was where we got our test results back. Thankfully all clear. Lost that one at 5 weeks but as my HCG levels never got very high they think that was chromosomal and bad luck.

See if you can find how long it'll be till you get your appointment through. Have you had any letters with contact info on? If it'll be a couple of months, then if I were you I'd wait and have a proper recharge after the physical and emotional trauma, and then you can have any tests knowing you're definitely not pregnant yet. If they're super busy and it'll be ages, and you feel you really can't wait, then just play it by ear.

Have you agreed to be a bridesmaid? You really don't have to. If you're not, you get to pick your own dress, get there for the ceremony and leave whenever you want, get trollied and let your hair down! I am so desperate to be a guest at a wedding and not a sodding bridesmaid!