TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Thanks ladies, I'm also on high dose folic acid and am taking aspirin (didn't tell them about that in case they told me off!).

Annoyingly with the booking appointment they are arguing its so I can get the screening needed later on, but I don't see why they can't just make me an appointment for the nuchal screen 12 week scan.....they've seen me and scanned me already and know my dates are right, then I could do the shitting paperwork afterwards if I got to that point. Other than that its just a load of bloods that they would be taking at the nuchal screen anyways so they could just take a few extra vials to check whatever they look at at the booking appointment. I'm going to actually ring the antenatal clinic and speak to them, even a phone appointment would be less traumatic. It just seems a strange system, I'm seeing someone from the RMC regularly, why can they not just sort it? Why do I have to be in two systems?

Shame hubby can't come with you tonight @AnneLovesGilbert, hope all goes well.

Absolutely shattered so quick update. Did bloods, 90+ minute wait for the doc and ended up seeing an awful reg instead of my usual guy. Very confusing advice. She's put me on 10mg pred, 5000 fragmin, so one big jab a day instead of 2 normal ones. She's split the cyclogest and insists I do 200 twice a day (permanent leaking, amazeballs ), plus a week of general antibiotic, for no reason at all but she was adamant. I was so late going in the dispensaries at the two hospitals which have them were closed so can't start pred till Friday as you have to take it first thing on a full stomach. I hate breakfast

DH freaking about steroids, fair enough but what's the option. And adore my mum though I do, she spent all fucking day saying how hard and complicated it all is and how she wishes it was easier. Yup. Me too.

Oddest part of the day was the scan they made me have. Arrived and they always ask if you're pregnant. Said yes but barely so no need for scan pre doc. She toddled off, came back and said I had to have one. Guess what? At about 3+5 there was nothing there.... But "a nice thick endometrium" and it was my left ovary that did the job. It's definitely by better ovary!

More bloods Friday.

I'll catch up on posts properly in the morning x

I'm still lurking too foxtrot!

Just wanted to poke my nose in and say a tentative congrats to Anne! I also wanted to say that you can take steroids later in the day if you want to take your first dose today if you don't mind maybe not sleeping so well tonight. One of the main reasons for taking them first thing is because if you take them later they can stop you sleeping. But definitely take them with some food.

And Miami, I think you are so incredibly brave for starting TTC again. I cannot even begin to imagine all the emotions you and your DH must be going through.

I shall be quietly rooting in the background for the two of you ladies, and everyone else who has found themselves on this board.

How lovely to hear from you foxtrot and keepon, how are you both? I've lost track of where you're both at but sending so much love and hope you're both happy and well.

Really useful tip on steroid taking, thank you keepon. Will pop out at lunch and get all the new meds. Do you have any idea what the week of antibiotics is for?

I don't have an exemption card anymore, do you reckon if I call the GP later and ask to get one underway they'll do it so I don't have to pay for the next lot (always assuming I need them)? Such early days I think they'll be reluctant but it's 4 prescriptions today and going to cost an arm and a leg!

Good to know your better experience of booking sensitivity foxtrot, it IS possible

How are you doing today labmum? You're so right, it's just seemingly pointless rules and awkwardness. Let me know how you get on?

Miami, you are not, and have never been, a crazy cow!!!!!! Be nice to yourself woman. The only thing that gave me slight pause this time was mild period type cramping and mega bloat at about 7pm every evening for 4 or 5 days. So way too early to be af and just felt like something was going on. Not had my usual super smell, and boobs the tiniest bit sore but not really. How's your temp today?

I didn't bother this morning as no point on the cyclogest, weird though when it's part of our routine. And suppository up the bum was a winner, thanks for the tips. Wish I'd done it before.

I cannot believe your midwife. Why the fuck does anyone go into the profession if they can't sympathise with someone feeling stressed about growing an entire fucking human being and having the occasional wobble about it? What a bitch.

Can you describe the cervix pain? Is it like fanny daggers or different? I remember you popping up ages ago saying you'd had them, I had them on and off for a couple of months then never again. And I've had no ovulation stabbing for several cycles. Funny how things change.

I poas x 2 today. Faint line on an IC. Another strong frer. Not sure if I'll get bloods today. Telling myself it can't be another chemical, but it absolutely could.

Might be about late now @AnneLovesGilbert but you could get a 3 month prepayment prescription card for cheaper than those 4 prescriptions. I collected my cyclogest from the hospital pharmacy and they just asked if I was pregnant and waived the fee anyways without an exemption card. Hopefully you avoided a big prescription charge though!
I'm still on edge, dreading tomorrow, and even if everything is ok tomorrow (8weeks) I'll be on edge as it's the 8-9week stage that I don't get past so won't feel reassured at all.
I'm off tomorrow so I'm going to get on the phone to the antenatal clinic (or speak to someone at the desk while I'm there) about the whole booking in saga. Our hospital requires a Drs initial referral, then they do the booking appt at the hospital, then all other mw appts are with community midwife at our Drs surgery.

Hope you get started on the meds ok Anne, will you be testing early @Miami81?

Thank you labmum, was a good idea! As it was, I just said I’d applied but not got it yet and she was fine with it, then I popped to the gp on the way home and did apply!

Started the ABs and mainlining probiotics so I can try and stave off the inevitable thrush. She said to start pred tomorrow. I double checked the cyclogest as the prescription is 400 TWICE a day. I’m going to feel like absolute crap. Assuming we get past the next couple of days anyway...

Sorry you’re feeling so stressed When is your scan? Sure we’ll all send handholds. I know exactly what you mean, haven’t got past 9 weeks yet so even if bloods go okay I can’t imagine letting myself get at all attached till then. You’ve had a good scan though and all seems well so far! Try to travel hopefully. I don’t mean to suggest anything other than good things will happen with this scan and the next one, just that I totally get you. Is someone going with you tomorrow?

The postcode lottery for antenatal care is nuts. My GP doesn’t want to know anything. Like someone else said, with mine you self refer by email, the form sucks, and then you get a letter for booking in sometime later.

Hi Girls

Please can I join?

I'm 29
TTC #1
1 mmc at 12 weeks in May 2017. Hb seen at 8 weeks. had erpc
1 natural mc at 5 weeks July 2017
1 natural mc at 8 weeks-1 day after seeing hb in September 2018
1 mmc at 11 weeks in February 2018 after seeing hb at 6 weeks and 9 weeks. Had erpc.

Both mmcs tested had downs syndrome.
Under RMC in Coventry. Prescribed progesterone.

Can be referred for IVF with PGD once my BMI is below 30, so working on that as currently bmi is 32. Have lost 1 stone and still 1 stone to go

Still trying in the meantime but haven't fallen pregnant again since last mmc in Feb so a bit worried as fall pregnant very easily every other time x

Scan is tomorrow, Hubby is coming with me. Then from what RMC said there'll be another appointment with them and a scan in 2 weeks time (10weeks) if we make it that far. Gonna cost us a fortune in hospital parking!

Wow! 400 twice a day is a lot! I was joking with OH that they should hand out placebo suppositories for the men to even the crappiness up a bit. How is it fair that they only get the enjoyable bits and we become walking pin cushions with vag cams and butt tablets thrown in for good measure! Plus pregnancy symptoms alongside all that!

Welcome @Munchies89, sorry you find yourself. Good luck with the weight loss, are you following a plan? I've been doing SW and love it.

I'm doing ok thanks Anne. I'm 33 weeks now and still just taking one day at a time. The baby is measuring small so it is likely it'll be born at 37 weeks. It is currently breech so unless it turns round it'll be a section rather than induction. I've ended up going in twice with reduced movements in the past week which was stressful. I've been really struggling to buy things for the baby but can't really ignore it anymore. DH and I went to John Lewis earlier but he basically had to make the decisions and said he was sad it couldn't be a nice experience for us both so I'm feeling bad about that. I just become so overwhelmed at the prospect of buying anything. But other than nappies and stuff to clean it with I think we have all the essentials now.

We also decided it was a sensible idea to move house but now it is looking like we'll be moving and having the baby all within a week !

I have no idea why the doctor wanted you to have antibiotics. Had you had any swabs done recently?

I hope your scan goes well tomorrow labmum.

I'll probably return to my lurking now but hopefully pop back in 4 weeks or so to update you.

Thanks @Labmum I'm also doing SW, I joined 7 weeks ago and love it too 😀 Good Luck for tomorrow x

@keeponrunning85 hope all goes well for you. It'll be so nice to finally hold your bundle in your arms.

Something I struggled with after having my LB was huge guilt. If I wasn't enjoying every single minute I felt so much guilt for being ungrateful. So be kind to yourself. And if baby is measuring small Asda do tiny baby nappies which may be useful. Good luck!

Hi everyone,
I joined a few months ago, in thewake of yet another mmc. I've just spent the last few months getting my shit together.

I'm 36
Natural pregnancy and mmc at 11 weeks in 2012
IVF pregnancy and mmc at 6 weeks in 2016
Natural pregnancy and mmc at 6 weeks in March this year, treated with an ERPC

I had hoped that I'd fall under the fertility cape but 3 months on, nothing. I got excited as AF was late this month but have just finished the period from hell. We have a follow up appointment with the RMC in August. Not sure what I hope to get from it. Do I want them to have found something and be able to treat it or do I want them to tell me everything's fine and still have hope?

I'm also trying to lose weight. Current BMI is at 29. I'm trying to stick to Weight Watchers, with variable success.

@keeponrunning85 lovely to hear from you. I am sorry that this last stretch is being so tough for you. I struggled with whether to write anything to you as don't want to stress you further. But sometimes I feel that knowledge is power, sorry if this isn't helpful. in terms of growth, Tommy's and a number of other prominent charities advocate the use of personalised growth charts (take acc of maternal age, race, height and weight). This normally gives a very different answer to the nhs chart that is being used at the moment.
For dd that would have been a difference between being at the 50% on the nhs chart and being at 11% on the personalised one. So if they haven't done this for you, it is worth pursuing. Tommy's midwives are always available on the phone and are happy to chat through concerns with anyone.
Have they assessed placenta and done a Doppler artery scan??
Anyway I am sure you are in the absolute best hands and again I am sorry if I stress you out.
Remember you are having a pregnancy after significant amounts of loss, of course you are struggling. That is totally normal. amazon prime deliver within 24 hours so you can sit in a hospital room post delivery (or DH can) and order any old thing you want. So don't stress about that - it's just stuff and I know you want to be doing all the nice things like nesting etc, but sometimes your brain and body can only prioritise what is directly in front of you. Baby is most important the rest isn't and once baby is here I am sure you won't care that you didn't buy that cute babygro.
Are you still working? I hope at least cut back at this stage. Try and take it as easy as you can - and as my sage cousin said to me, try and concentrate and congratulate yourself on how far you have come.
And believe. You have this. You trust your instincts and if that means being in the hospital every second day for a check up then that's what you do.
I hope LO stops being a scamp and turns as well for you. Loads of time for that yet though.
Please do come back and give us an update. As an aunt of a 32 weeker and a 34 weeker it won't be a disaster if you don't make it to 37, ideal to get there, but if it's not right for baby then that's ok too. Has anyone spoken about steroids?
Jeepers sorry I have realised that I am completely overloading this and probs not helping with your stress.
Try to enjoy what you can. Don't feel guilty, there is enough guilt in life, you are doing your absolute best.

Also have cake.

Hi @Munchies89 and @MelbourneClown03 sorry for your losses. Welcome to our safe space.
I have lost two to early miscarriages and then dd died at 27 weeks last September due to some kind of placenta issues. We just started trying again this cycle after 9 months. Cd 21 today and shitting it.
Imagining symptoms.
Another temp rise this morning. The knot in my stomach is awful. Going to try to wait to Monday to test.

Thank you for your reply Miami. It didn't stress me out, please don't worry about that. I'm on a personalised growth chart. The abdominal circumference is nearer the 50th centile but it is being dragged down by the femur length. But I think a fat belly and short legs isn't too had a position to be in and the Consultant felt there may well be an element of just not being able to get a good enough view of the femurs. I had dopplers and fluid levels checked 3 weeks in a row which are all good. Going 2 weeks between scans this time. No talk of steroids yet. As long as the growth doesn't tail off they're happy at the moment. To be honest I'm feeling alright about it arriving at 37 weeks as that shortens the worry by potentially 4-5 weeks.

I'm an aunt of 33 weeker who weighed 3lb 3oz so baby is already bigger than that. I'm hoping it'll get to around 5lb. And other than being away with the fairies (which she would have been anyway) my niece is absolutely fine!

Hello,

This week @AnneLovesGilbert answered a desperate shoutout which I placed on the miscarriage boards, and suggest I join the thread. I’ve had 3 miscarriages since January.

Daunted by joining a well established thread, I’ve spent the last 2 days (in between work and jobs) reading your entire thread! A bit stalker-like (apologies), but I didn’t know what people’s experiences are of RMC.

I’ve felt so alone, but reading your stories and what you have been through brought tears. I’m so, so sorry for all your losses, and think you are all so brave. Until RMC happened to me, I had no idea how painful and the swinging between despair/terror/hope is. I don’t think I have your strength in me!

Congratulations to those who are out the other side with successful pregnancies, you deserve it so much!

A bit about me: I’m 35 and married last November to my DH, we’ve been together 7 years and have a 3yo DD who was conceived 1st time, with no issues.

January: Missed miscarriage 7 weeks, found out at 12 week scan. I had misoprostol for medical management (horrible experience, never again).

March: Pregnant, but mmc/chem preg at 5 weeks

May: Pregnant again! I had strong symptoms, I felt so positive this time, I thought it wouldn’t happen 3 times in a row. The stats are in our favour! We had an early private scan at 8 weeks for ‘reassurance’, but sadly showing, slow, abnormal heartbeat and measuring only 5-6 weeks. After 3 weeks of ‘waiting and seeing’ with EPAU, without much hope - I had a MVA 2 weeks ago.

I’m starting to acknowledge I maybe on the beginning of what might be a very long journey, and I don’t know how to process this.

I’m not sure how much ‘help’ or tests I’d be eligible for - I didn’t ‘report’ the 5 week mmc to my gp, although I told EPAU with mmc 3, I didn’t tell anyone at the time it happened. As far as EPAU can see from my scans look ‘normal’. They think we’ve just had terrible luck.

On the miscarriage thread which Anne picked on I asked advice on how to approach ttcing. I desperately want to give my DD a sibling, but don’t think I can face this any more. I feel I’ve let both DH and DD down (although I know it’s not true).

I never want to POAS ever again (although I have to this weekend to get a negative result).

How do I cope if goes wrong again? At this moment, I’m unsure whether it’s a good idea. I’m worried about my uterus and hormones, should I give them a rest/break? Or crack on?

These are questions which no one has the right answer for. It is hard to talk to anyone who understands. Since my wedding in November 2/3 of my bridesmaids have fallen pregnant! And the third (my sister) has just given birth to her youngest of 3!

I’m officially out of the baby and pregnancy club which I thought I’d be a part of, and I’m
finding it hard.

Apologies for the long post, (if you are still with me). I’d love to join the thread if I can - I’m desperate for advice and opinions from those who have been there, and still going through it. Or if you have time for an extra hand to hold (if you patience and space)!

Glad you've found us @CurlyTwirlyTwos

I'll reply properly later but for now I'm inviting you warmly to hang around here! Sending a big hug and a gentle handhold. I'm lucky DH and I talk loads but there's nothing like a virtual chinwag with this lot who get it more than anyone else ever could. It has literally kept me going some days.

@curlytwirlytwos I'm so sorry you find yourself here. There's a good group of supportive ladies here. I'm a fairly recent joiner but have been made very welcome and given lots of hand holding!
Have you been referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic? It can take a while but might be worth getting the ball rolling for some tests? You should be able to argue for it with the chemical and even if they didn't acknowledge it in my area you only need 2 if you're over 35 so it's worth pushing for.
As for trying again there's no right or wrong. I know how you feel wanting to give your child a sibling, I'm in the same boat and find myself obsessing over age gaps. Give yourself a bit of time to heal emotionally then see how you feel?

All was ok at the scan today, measuring slightly ahead again at 8+4. I went and spoke to the antenatal clinic at the hospital when my booking appt was for next week and thankfully was lucky in it being a quiet clinic and finding a sympathetic midwife. She took the consent and booked me informed my nuchal screen and has left a note for the clinic coordinator to postpone my booking appt until after then. I'm so hugely grateful to them for listening and taking the time to sort it all out for me! Could honestly nearly cry with the relief of being listened to and not just being a uterus on a conveyor belt going through the system!
Thanks for all your support and advice on this ladies, it means so much!

Oh labmum, I’m thrilled to bits for you on both counts. What great news. Don’t the kind people make all the difference?

Had a right mission getting my bloods back, GP receptionist eventually came up trumps. 66 on Wednesday and 165 today.

Fab @Labmum I love when people listen. Hope you have a lovely weekend my dear.

Hi @CurlyTwirlyTwos
Glad you found us. I think we have the full gambit of people with rmc from the unexplained all the way through.
Like@Labmum I was seen after two mc's in my rmc, due to age and family history.
Did you have any complications in your first pregnancy? C-section? One of our lovely ladies @Paranormalbouquet had scarring/adhesions from her first babies emergency delivery. She has made it past twelve weeks in her most recent pregnancy after suffering multiple mc's and has had a cerclage put in.
So I suppose what I am trying to say is that your rmc, when you get to see them will tailor what they are looking at based on your specific history.
Getting back on the ttc wagon is so hard, some days I feel like we are crazy for even trying. But my mantra is fresh egg, fresh lining, fresh sperm, if your not in you can't win. And for me I just don't know what the alternative is. I have to at least try. Although it's maybe the second scariest thing I have ever done (scariest will always be delivering dd when I knew she was already gone).
Stick with us. Nobody gets it quite like a loss mom gets it.

@AnneLovesGilbert woohoo. Way to double your hcg. Great.