TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

Great news to both Labmum and Anne! keeping fingers and toes crossed that everything continues as it should - I’m so hopeful for you!

Yes Miami - I did read about paranormalbouquet on the thread! I also had an emec sec with DD, but I was only about 3cm dilated, which (from what I remember) it shouldn’t have raised my uterus too much for it to be damaged - but I’m not medic (nor do I work in healthcare - so I don’t have a clue). But I simply will not know unless an investigation is based on my own history.

I am considering going to the gp to start the ball rolling, but as ridiculous as it sounds, I am reluctant to do so. It will crystallise the last 6 months, formalise it and make it very ‘real’ instead of the nightmare which we haven’t admitted to anyone (apart from close family). My brain is still telling me RMC is something which happens to other people.

Another factor is, I actually only turned 35 last week (on the 30th June)! Would that go against me, as everything has happened when I’m 34? I need to find out from the gp!

In the meantime - I’m googling whether it’s safe ttc immediately after the mva 🙈

Got a BFP (really really faint) this morning at 9/10dpo. Am lying in bed, DH is still asleep and I am shaking. Am trying to convince myself that it's maybe an Evap line, but to be fair since the massive temp dip at 5dpo I was pretty certain. Also just felt pregnant. I've never tested this early. Although the only good thing about testing so early is that I can start taking the aspirin very promptly.
Won't be seeing a consultant until 6wks. Please please let this one have implanted in a good place.

Oh my gooooooodddd miami!!!!!!!!!

Have you kept the wee? Do a bunch more tests if so, that might help it sink in.

Breathe. Wake him up and tell him, or try and go back to sleep for a bit but then tell him!!!!!!

What kind of test was it? I think evaps are pretty rare and as you say, temps don’t lie.

You marvellous thing, sending you the most enormous hug x

Fantastic news @Miami81! Lots of hand holding and hugs for you. Try testing again in a couple of days and it should be a bit stronger but I'm sure it's not an evap.

You are such lovely ladies. Thank you.
It was a FRER. Just woke DH and told him. We are both a bit shocked. And his sage comment was 'if only it was as easy as getting pregnant, eh'. So day by day it is. Today we are pregnant.
Oh fuck.
I was so worried I would never be able to say that again. And now I'm just worried.
Have hypnotherapy on Tuesday and meeting one of the loss moms locally who also is a recurrent miscarryer (she has a condition called chi?, I had never heard of it, but 8 pregnancies, 5 mc's and a stillbirth, she now has 2 babies), so I think having her close by for the rock of sense thing will be helpful.
I threw away the pee as I don't have any other tests in the house anyway. Will get more later when we go out to buy decaf nespresso pods.
Have a good Sunday ladies.

Frers are the nuts. I’d believe it love x

Bless your lovely DH, he is of course right but it’s a bloody good start!

Get on the decaf, knock off the wine and go one day at a time. You guys have got this. The best decaf instant is the kenco Millicano one, it’s got the nice slight burn of the real stuff. And becks blue is great if you like lager. I heard about a convincing alcohol free gin last week too!

I can’t believe you’re knocked up! Best news ever. Sending ALL good thoughts and love to you both.

I got a 2-3 weeks on a CB this morning which was nice. 4+2 today.

I had a funny chat with my acu lady yesterday. A few days before bfp with my last mc DH and I were chatting and I said I was so desperate to be pregnant again after over a year of nothing happening I promised if it happened I’d never moan about bad skin or sore boobs ever again. And about 2 weeks later I took my bra off one night and literally groaned

She said she’s seen it so many times before, the relative nature of discomfort I guess. She’d had one client who took 6 years to conceive, went through hell and back, and when it happened she was grumbling that her due date was close to her birthday and annoyed she’d never have a birthday that was all about her again! And that was fine too, when you’re pregnant you’re allowed to moan about your boobs, your nausea, anything else you’re going through. When you’re ttc or had losses you’re allowed to resent anyone who complains about anything pregnancy related. It’s all just normal.

Curly, my RMC don’t care how old you are. I mentioned it last time and he said 35 means nothing, they have patients of all ages. I completely get how you feel, it’s shit not having the easy journey to babies most people have and extra medical stuff makes it worse. But the other side of it there are people who might be able to help, can at least try to find answers. I was lucky to have my referral made by the EPU without having to ask but do go to your GP and ask them to do it. Some clinics have waiting lists so it really makes sense to get in the system.

At my first apt they took my full history and did 4 pages worth of blood tests, I got the results at another apt 4 weeks later. They were all clear but my clinic has a treatment protocol you can have even with no diagnosis. And the tests are really comprehensive so worth doing anyway.

I’ve had an MVA and an ERPC and the advice on dtd was the same to wait till you’ve stopped bleeding and feel comfortable. They said 2 weeks and I had infections after both but was feeling okay within a fortnight. Took just under 3 weeks last time to get a bfn. As long as you’re healing and comfortable and your heads are in the right place then you’re good to go ahead. It’s a big part of our relationship and I missed the closeness despite lots of hugs. Go gently and stop if anything hurts, just listen to your body.

I lied about not having any tests, I have a clear blue digi, but obviously not doing that for ages yet. Congrats on the 2-3 weeks.
We just found mouse poo all over the sitting room. DH has taken all the sofa cushions off and we are away to buy a steam cleaner in a while. DH made me put on rubber gloves before going anywhere near that room.
Really strange - no idea why the sitting room not the kitchen. The kitchen has lovely tasty crumbs on the floor and everything. But no signs of mice there. Which is good because imagine how much food we would have to throw out. Ha ha.

Wow I have a lot to catch up on! Huge congratulations and hugs Anne and Miami. Will keep everything crossed for you.
Welcome to the new ladies. Sorry you have found yourselves here. I have had 3 mc. 1st was mmc at 13 weeks though baby stopped growing at 5+6, 2nd was natural mc at around 5 or 6 weeks and the 3rd was ectopic that thankfully self resolved. This was all in the space of 8 months. My rmc bloods have come back positive to lupus anticoagulant antibodies. I have more bloods in a few weeks to confirm if this actually is the case. If the bloods are negative my consultant is putting it down to bad luck! Not sure I believe it's just been bad luck though. We think we're going to have a break for a couple of months, book a holiday and start trying again in September though fertile week is next week and by then I'll probably have changed my mind again!

Hope you don't mind me posting, but I just popped into the thread to see how some of you were getting on after anne sent me a lovely message the other day - delighted to see that you both have bfps, anne and miami. Am wishing you the absolute best.

How are you both feeling today @AnneLovesGilbert and @Miami81?

My hubby is away with work for the week now so I'm not looking forward to a week on my own dealing with nausea, work and DS. He's been doing a lot of bedtimes as evenings are when my nausea is worst. plus I'm a nervous wreck with 8-9 weeks being my "danger zone" (although I've never known about it until after 10 weeks) so I'm fretting about what's going on in there.

Wow!! It’s been a weekend of BFP’s all round!!

Congratulations all of you, keeping everything crossed, everyday that goes by is good! Does that mean all of the ‘old crew’ are now knocked up? That’s so lovely after what you guys have been through together! I realllllly think this is your time!

I got my BFN this weekend (the opposite to everyone else ) haha! But that perversely the best outcome for me, lol! It means I have the all clear after mva 2 weeks ago.

Plans for me: Had a chat about with DH this weekend about our next steps. He is not the best at talking.

We decided we are going to go for it again after a period. I need to give my body a wee break.

We have decided to ‘ignore’ mmc 2 at 5 weeks, and view it as a chem. I never had any symptoms, and immediately suspected it wasn’t right. I conceived that one immediately after the misoprostol (which properly f*%ked up my body).

If it goes to pot again we’ll get the GP involved and investigations going. One last throw of the dice you might say.

I’m dreading it a little and terribly nervous. How did you guys keep going? ......well, Reading about your all the BFP this morning, I can see why !

I looked into a local acupuncture clinic anne and convinced I’ll make an appointment. I’ve never done it, but I can only try!

I managed nausea nibbling oatcakes, I don’t know why...they felt healthier than stodge, but still stodgy if that makes sense! Hopefully it’ll be me joining you soonish....

Take care ladies xxx

Hey curly, how are you doing? Glad you got your bfn, it’s such an odd one I know but part of healing 2 weeks after is good as well. Whenever I’ve been hoping for a bfn it’s a mixed feeling but I’ve usually felt relief at being able to move on, at least physically.

Your plan sounds sensible and good. Talking it through and where you’re both at mentally and emotionally is so important. Have your periods usually come back as normal after your mcs? Fx for you things settle down quickly.

How you keep going? Ha! One day at a time mostly. Keeping busy, taking time to rest, making plans that aren’t remotely ttc related, I like temping to keep an eye on things with my cycle and find it reassuring rather than stress inducing, chatting to people who get it in rl and on here, appreciating the good things about my body even though I’ve felt it’s let me down so for me Pilates and walks, shagging, cooking lovely food, baths, lie ins, whatever works for you. I’ve found being under the rmc useful too so I’ve felt like there was a plan (on version 3 atm...) and other people were trying to fix it for us.

I had no expectations of acu at all but was after something to level me out and I’d tried reflexology but it wasn’t doing it for me. My lady does 5 elements acupuncture which you can google. I hadn’t heard about it before so it was by chance rather than design but it’s not about treating specific symptoms and more about creating balance in your system and hoping that with increased balance comes a good environment for conception. Sounds very woo but I go for an hour, we chat for 20 odd minutes and I get everything off my chest then she feels my wrists then decides where to stick needles in and gets on with it. It’s changed my periods completely and I’ve carried on miscarrying but got pregnant 3 tines now after a year of bugger all happening after the 3 previous mcs! It’s been a fucking ball ache the last couple of years tbh and I’ve started focusing on doing whatever feels like it’s helping me in body or soul.

It’s nice to have you with us, obviously never want to think others are going through this shite but when are it’s better for us all to have company!

I’m going nowhere in a hurry x

Sorry you’re struggling Labmum

You sound shattered and I wish things were easier for you, and that you could fast forward a week! How long till you’ll know if things are going okay in there? When’s next scan?

I’m alright thanks. Normal rmc woman is back and called me which was lovely, she’s an ally! Been having trouble sleeping, given how different this is to previous early pg exhaustion it’s got to be the roids. I’m definitely slightly wired with periods of can’t keep my eyes open. Mega boobs haven’t showed up yet but I look 6 months pregnant with the mega-ist bloat you have ever seen.

Not enjoying being on so many meds. ABs, pred and butt pill first thing, AB at lunch, AB and jab at 8 and butt pill last thing. But won’t be forever.

Help I'm so confused!!

Backstory- had to end 15 week pregnancy due to amniotic band syndrome 23 jan

MC at 5/6 wks beg of April, fell straight away and MC at 7 weeks mid of May,

Had blood tests during Mays MC to confirm as still showing BFP and empty and irregular gestational sac on vaginal ultrasound they said could be early pregnancy or imminent mc even tho CLear blue digital put my dates to 7 weeks scan maybe 4/5 weeks . Had another 2 blood tests in the following 2 weeks which showed my hcg at 4950 and PG at only 5 so they confirmed MC.

I am still getting very positive pregnancy tests! Can anybody tell me how long until a negative should appear?

I am going to have to call back and ask again for another blood tests aren't I? Just want it to all be over with now I feel like this years just been horrific and I'm constantly in limbo it's making me want to put my coil back in and not try anymore 😭

Hi @OntoTheThird I am so sorry for your losses. And I can understand your fears and confusion.
The scan you had in May - that was to confirm miscarriage had happened fully, or was it to see if you were miscarrying?
Clear blue digi only ever says the highest of 3+ but that is not from last menstrual period, it's from ovulation (so it isn't dated the same way that a scan place would date, which is from lmp).
So it is possible that the 4-5 weeks that the scan refers to and the cb digi were dating the same (not possible to be 7 on a digi, max is 5)
However if your hcg has been confirmed to have dropped from 4950 to 5, that would suggest that a mc has happened. If you are still getting positive tests it is either a new pregnancy or perhaps some retained tissue.
Either way - you need a scan to check what is going on. I hope you get clear picture of what is happening soon.
All the best.

How awful for you @ontothethird my last mc dragged on for a while too and I found it much harder to get through emotionally. I agree with @Miami and you need to be scanned. Do you have a local EPU you can call?

Hope the rest of you ladies are doing well

You are most welcome to join us all @Munchies89

Sorry, it’s often quite a quiet group and it’s suddenly got very busy, great that people are joining and finding company! I’m so sorry for your losses

Totally get how you feel about how frequent conceptions followed by a dry spell can mess with your head.

We started ttc feb 2016, early mc August, another bfp straight after with no af, mmc at 12 weeks, one month break then bfp which ended at 5 weeks. Rmc tests all clear, no reason, told to crack on. And for 13 MONTHS nothing bloody happened.

Got pregnant again in feb this year, mmc at 11 weeks, month after a chemical and then bfp last week.

Fucking roller coaster.

Wishing you every luck. That’s fantastic progress on weight loss, be proud of that and just keep taking care of yourself inside and out.

What’s your experience with Coventry been like? There’s such a difference is all the rmc’s tests and treatments, seems such a postcode lottery.

I’m ttc #1 and DH has twins. I adore them but I want my own baby and I’ve been pregnant for so much of the last 30 odd months I can’t imagine it ever actually happening but nothing for it but to keep trying x

Have you tested again @miami81? Taking anything else on top of aspirin? Hope your head’s okay and you and DH are okay.

We had a work thing earlier and DH looked confused and said loudly “not having a pimms?” Muppet. I think he’d completely forgotten

@AnneLovesGilbert I haven't tested again yet. Doing one in the morning, DH is away since cockcrow this morning so didn't want to test in case it's gone.
I am also taking super high dose folic. And then I got a vitamin b12 spray and d as the b12 helps the folic absorb. I think.
Anyway nothing else to report so far. Still not officially at 4 weeks yet so lack of symptoms clearly means nothing.
How are you?? You must feel like a bit of a science experiment, I am sorry about that. Hopefully worth it though.

I'll check in tomorrow to hear how you get on love x

B12 is great, a real hormone leveller. I don’t absorb it at all so have jabs at the GP, back there Thursday for one. I always get a boost afterwards. More drugs! Yay...

I’ve got alarms going off for stuff all day but I’ve stopped thinking about it already I think, funny how you adapt.

After the shock of last month, I really just haven’t thought about this much in terms of an actual pregnancy. Tried to say “I’m pregnant” to the bathroom mirror and felt very silly.

Not that I think it’s going to end badly, and I’ll be okay if it does, but that it doesn’t feel like anything’s actually happened yet. Do you know what I mean? I’m still peeing on sticks but in a detached way.

@Ontothethird I'm so sorry you find yourself here. The ladies here are all lovely and so supportive. Hopefully you can get some answers but you should definitely go back to the EPU? Have you passed the sac? It sounds like you could have retained tissue and need intervention.

Today has been the day from hell, hubby is away on a work jolly and I'm shattered. It's going to be a long week!

Hugs labmum, sorry things are so crap right now

Shame no

Rant away x

@AnneLovesGilbert
So my hypnotherapy earlier was interesting. I had to think of a positive statement and image. The positive statement has to be active and current. We eventually went with 'I am having a positive and successful pregnancy' ( I mean really I am all for the woo, but really??) but as she said, until i know any different then I am.
And the image I focussed on when I close my eyes is me walking along pushing a buggy, just you know momming it.
I also bought something (small bird decoration) for this pregnancy today because actually even though this one may still not make it, it's just as much my baby as dd is and her stuff is all over the house.
So whilst I am detached in one sense, I'm not detached at all really. But I'm ok with that, because I think loosing dd at the stage we did just makes it harder to detach. All too easy to almost take up where we left off in a strange way. Anyway that's my musings for the moment.
Have you all seen the new Tommy's campaign? Also new big support group on Facebook for all baby loss. They really want to bring the 1 in 4 out of the shadows and make people realise that they aren't alone.